Instead of saying the sh..k word, I use 'Chinese Hook'. Because saying sh..k just encourages more of them to suddenly appear.
On -, @bulls9999 said:
Never phased by missing the green, as I usually comment to my wife, my playing partner, as it's "just a chip and a putt (away from par)". I say that so much, and often convert, that even she's saying it now. Or when I complain about being off the green, she'll say something like "what's the matter, remember "it's just a chip and a putt"!!
One time, a buddy--who was NOT trying to needle me--said, "Just a chip and 2 putts from there." And we all paused and looked at him. Then all started laughing. It was a candid, inadvertent insult about my short game. Of course, the rest of the round, there was a lot of "Just a chip and 3 putts from there for you..."
The opposite of "just a chip and a putt", I have a buddy that if he hits a good approach when we play a match and he tries to act like the hole is decided, I just say "you can 3 putt from anywhere".
My wife and i played with an old man once, he fatted a wedge so bad and immediately yells "Oh Fat Titty". We were on the other side of the fairway in our cart, we looked at each other and started busting out laughing. A hole or so later and he does it again "Oh Fat Titty" and then a third time. The only thing is, on the third time we were close enough to hear that he was actually saying "Oh fat city". So now a chunk is affectionately known as a "fat titty".
Many years ago, a buddy and I decided we had enough of Winter and did a last minute late February weekend skip off to Bermuda to play a few rounds in some warmth. We found CHEAP accommodation (not so easy to find anymore) and air fares and off we went. First round was about an hour off the plane at the Par 3 course at what is now I think The Fairmont. In the Pro Shop there was a small index card stuck to the counter. It read something along the lines of "If your ball lips out more than 90*, it defy's the laws of physics since all of the ball was in or above the hole, therefore that putt counts". We had a good chuckle with the guy and off we went. Wouldn't you know that almost immediately within 3 holes we had 2 lip outs between us.
Next day it was off to Play at The Belmont. They didn't have a similar sign,though. Sometime during that round I had a real lip spinner... In my state of disbelief I yelled "BERMUDA!!!" and it has kind of stuck since then.
(Oh, we don't count them these days- it's just fun to yell "BERMUDA") We've kind of had a lot of fun with it these days- A putt that is less than a 90* might be a "BAHAMA", one that just bobbles on the edge as it goes by could be a "HAITI!".
So if you're playing on a public course on Long Island and you hear "BERMUDA!!!", now you'll know why!
On a long putt that will for sure go 15 feet past: "Full flaps!"
When reading a putt with a slight break: "Its a Lance Armstrong, one ball out"
When someone toots a smelly one on the course..."Nice Out"
Telling my brother after he hit a bad shot that he had a LOFT problem with his clubs. When he asked what that was I replied, "a lack of f**king talent"
Let'r rip. Don't chili dip. (I think I invented that one)
Lately I've been playing with a couple buddies and we have this ongoing joke that if one of us its a poor shot, one of the others will say, "That'll play". In other words - no breakfast balls - get your butt out there and hit it again...
If I hit a good tee ball on a par 3 that's covering the flag, mid flight I'll say "well its all in Jesus hands now boys".
When someone leaves an approach shot or a putt short usually someone will say “short like your dick”
For some reason this thread is revived, so I'll add two.
Me and my buddies call a thinned shot that goes skimming through the fairway a "worm-burner"
And I have a friend who, when he passes gas and it's a little bubbly says "that was 'lectric" I finally asked him how it was electric and he said "I felt the juice run down mah leg"
When putting with the flag in, "leave the goalie in"
Where I grew up, those thinned shots were called "slug-shaggers".
I'm sure I'm not the only "Oscar Bravo" guy for an OB ball. Also say "She Gone!"
I always use the Bob Uecker line from "Major League" - - "JUST a bit outside"
When my dad or brother are bragging about a good shot or needling me about a bad one, I'll sniff the air and say, "that's funny, I don't smell anything, but I hear a bunch of bull$h!t."
One of my buddies after hitting a bad putt, will say”how’d that stay out”. An when he makes one... he usually says that was just a waste of daylight boys!
Two shots that land right beside each other - "I haven't seen two balls that close together since my morning shower."
Two shots in the same bunker - "are we/y'all talking orders from Hitler?"
Putt blown 10 feet past the hole - "played with the finesse of John Henry."
Straight at the pin, but short of the green - "straight as my **** and just as short."
"You know why they call it golf? Because (insert 4-letter expletive here) was already taken!"
Player still out after a stroke - "That's a USGA shot - You Suck, Go Again."
my only golf phrase is "son of a [email protected]#$"!
Buddy refers to the ball as, “ she”. She went left, she flew on me, she’s heading to the woods. I am consumed with thinking about choking him
On a Sky ball - "that was an elephant a$$" high and stinky.
A putt that goes really close, but doesn't drop... gynaecologist assistant (shaved the hole)
For those shots where you end up way better than you should, like a skulled wedge, or topped drive ... 'sister-in law' (because you know you shouldn't be there)
ill never forget the 1st time we played with a new guy years ago who is now in our regular group and we were looking for my tee ball in the rough...he was in a different cart and he rides back and points to ball and says “ you’re fine. It’s sitting up like a wedding d**k.”
And how could I forget FUAB...when you go bogey or worse on a hole right after you had a birdie on previous hole. F**k up after birdie. 😂
In those situations when someone is annoying you (usually give you grief after a poor shot or result) and you're already really annoyed at yourself ... or, when someone is hanging around and being a pest and you want them to go away but are in mixed company so don't want to swear... FOALMA (F.. Off and Leave Me Alone)
When you miss the green right or left, but the distance was spot on: "Right size, wrong shape"
I'm a White Sox fan if anyone gets the reference.
As in, "It was ugly but you got away with it."
e.g. A skanked approach shot that never gets more than 3ft off the ground, rolls through a bunker, and ends up on the green.
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