Could Use A Laugh....

MedicMedic Members Posts: 9,417 ✭✭
Rough week. Lots of stress. Could use a laugh so thought I would start a thread where some laughs could be shared. Golf-related one liners. (or close to it)



Keep em clean so the thread doesn't get nuked.



First one....



Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?



A bad golfer goes: WHACK..."****"!

A bad Skydiver goes: "****"!...WHACK.
Callaway Epic with Fujikura 62s in 45.25 set at 12.5*
Taylormade Rbz FW (17*)
Callaway X-Hot Pro 20* Hybrid
Callaway Steelhead 4-PW w/KBS 90s
Titleist Vokey 50*
Titleist Vokey SM-6 56*
Titleist Vokey SM-6 60-08 M
Tad Moore TM-1 35"
Callaway Chrome Soft
«13456711

Comments

  • ltjacksonltjackson Northwest, FLMembers Posts: 538 ✭✭
    edited Feb 13, 2017 #2
    Two men were playing a round enjoying a day off during a business conference that their home town was hosting.



    After playing 7 holes dealing with the slow group ahead of them one of the men finally got fed up and told his playing partner,



    "I'm going to walk up and ask if we can play through, this pace is driving me crazy!"



    Off he went, about half way there he turned around and walked back to his playing partner. The other man looked at him and asked,



    "What's wrong? I thought you were going to ask to play through."



    To which the other man, white in the face replied,



    "One of the women in that group is my wife and the other is my mistress."



    His playing partner exclaimed,



    "Wow! Okay I'll go ask then, just hide in the cart."



    About half way there the second man turned around and walked back to the cart uttering a simple phrase to his partner.



    "Small world..."
    Post edited by Unknown User on
  • bestrnd35bestrnd35 Members Posts: 209 ✭✭
    "Bad day at the course," a guy tells his wife. "Charlie had a heart attack on the third hole."

    "That's terrible!" she says.

    "You're telling me," the husband replies. "All day long, it was hit the ball, drag Charlie."
    Driver - Cobra F8 (plays 44.5")
    Callaway Fusion 3, 5 woods
    Callaway X-Hot N14 hybrids
    Callaway X-Hot 6-PW
    Callaway Mack Daddy 2 54, 60
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    Odyssey White Hot Pro Vline
  • sailfishchrissailfishchris Members Posts: 876 ✭✭
    • A guy on vacation finishes his round, goes into the clubhouse. The head pro says, "Did you have a good time out there?"
    • The man replied "Fabulous, thank you."
    • "You're welcome," said the pro. "How did you find the greens?"
    • Said the man: "Easy. I just walked to the end of the fairways and there they were!"
    Ping G400 LST 8.5 Synergy Proto 65TX
    Ping G400 14.5 Tensei Pro Orange 80 TX
    Mizuno JPX 919 Tours 3-PW Super Peening Blue X
    Vokey SM5 52, 56, 60 DGTI-s400
    Cameron Newport 1.5
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  • Hawkeye77Hawkeye77 Countdown to The Masters! ClubWRX Posts: 17,393 ClubWRX
  • Vintage1976Vintage1976 I think something was lost in transition Members Posts: 2,681 ✭✭
    What do golf and marital relations have in common?



    You don't have to be good at it to enjoy it.
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    A12Pro 18*  //  AltusWhite (undecided)
    DCI762 4-9  //  DVS\DynamicGold (undecided)
    FGTourTC 50*56*  //   DGSpinner
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    "Until you make the subconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
  • NessismNessism To measure is to know... Members Posts: 18,208 ✭✭
    Jesus and Gabriel on the first tee.



    Jesus tees off first. Ball takes off low, skips three times across a lake and lands on the other side. A rabbit runs out and picks up the ball and takes off. A few moments later an eagle swoops down and picks up the rabbit. The rabbit then in fright drops the ball which falls onto the green and rolls into the cup.



    Gabriel turns to Jesus and snarls, "are you going to mess around all day? I thought we were going to play golf?"
    Ping G400 driver w/Adila Rogue 125 Silver 60S
    Cobra F7 5 wood w/Aldila Black 70S
    TEE Pro 21* hybrid (hook machine)
    Ping G410 irons w/Recoil 95S (i200 backups)
    Ping Glide 50/55/60 wedges w/Recoil 110S
    Ping Anser/Arna putter - the "real deal!"
  • disco111disco111 Members Posts: 958 ✭✭
    3 guys on the 1st tee and starter asks to put a lady with them, says she's a good player and she's good looking.......Guy's say Ok and during the course of the round, she holds her own. Now on the 18th green and looking at a 10 foot putt, she turns and says "you guys have been so nice to me today, so if one of you can help me make this putt, I'll have **** with you".......First guy jumps down to the ground and says, looks like it will break left, second guy says nah!, slight right at the hole.....third guy steps behind the ball, looks down and says, "that's good, pick it up" image/pimp.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':pimp:' />
  • golfandfishinggolfandfishing Members Posts: 3,400 ✭✭
    Two golfers walking down the third fairway as a funeral procession drives by. One guy stops, removes his hat and says a silent prayer. He resumes walking and his partner says "Did you know that person?" He responds with "Know her? We were married for 53 years. Now, is that pin middle or front?"
  • From_Parts_UnknownFrom_Parts_Unknown Members Posts: 1,797 ✭✭
    Do they have to be golf jokes???



    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over

    his mouth.

    A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

    "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know Sir, I'm only

    here to wash your upper body and feet."

    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me.

    Are my testicles black?"



    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart

    rate from worrying about them.

    She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says,

    "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look magnificent."

    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

    "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

    "Are - My -Test - Results - Back
  • MedicMedic Members Posts: 9,417 ✭✭
    A U.S. citizen is vacationing on his own in Ireland. He decides to play a round of golf and is paired with three local gents.

    He takes a few practice swings, steps up to the first tee, and proceeds to hook the ball out of bounds. He shakes his head, reaches in his pocket, and re-tees another ball. He tells his playing partners that he is taking a Mulligan. He pounds one down the center of the fairway about 280 yards out.



    With a big smile, he asks the others "In the U.S., we call that a Mulligan; was wondering what you called it here in Ireland."



    After a moment of silence, one of the locals replies, "Hitting three."
    Callaway Epic with Fujikura 62s in 45.25 set at 12.5*
    Taylormade Rbz FW (17*)
    Callaway X-Hot Pro 20* Hybrid
    Callaway Steelhead 4-PW w/KBS 90s
    Titleist Vokey 50*
    Titleist Vokey SM-6 56*
    Titleist Vokey SM-6 60-08 M
    Tad Moore TM-1 35"
    Callaway Chrome Soft
  • Sean2Sean2 #TheWRX (Callaway Trip) Members Posts: 30,826 ✭✭
    Don't drink and drive. ****, don't even putt.

    --Dean Martin
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway Rogue[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway GBB Epic 16º/20º/24º[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway Steelhead XR 25º[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway Apex CF16 6-AW [/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway MD3/MD-PM 54º/58º[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway "O" Works #7[/font]
  • BMCBMC Members Posts: 3,525 ✭✭
    Officer: "Mrs. Woods, how many times did you strike the vehicle with the golf club?"



    Mrs. Woods: "Ummm, I'm not sure. Put me down for a 5."
    PING OG Rapture 9*
    Cobra Baffler Pro 18* hybrid
    Cleveland CG2 irons 3-p
    Bridgestone Wedges 52/56
    Odyssey #1WS
  • NessismNessism To measure is to know... Members Posts: 18,208 ✭✭
    edited Mar 2, 2017 #14
    Sorry, not golf related but couldn't resist...



    And forgive any stereotype issues against lawyers. image/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=';)' />



    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]The Deaf Mob Bookkeeper...[/background]



    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, [/background][background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]has cheated him out of $10,000,000.[/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job [/background][background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]in the first place since he can't hear what the mob bosses are saying and he could never be called to testify against them.[/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing [/background][background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]$10 million he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.[/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"[/background][background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"[/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]Guido signals back, "I don't know what you are talking about." [/background]The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]what you're talking about." [/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]The Godfather pulls out a pistol, [/background][background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again"[/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]The lawyer signals to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell." [/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]Guido trembles and signals, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown [/background][background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.[/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]The Godfather asks the lawyer, [/background][background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]"What did he say?"[/background]

    [background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]The lawyer replies, [/background][background=rgb(250, 250, 250)]"He says f*** you. You don't have the balls to pull the trigger."[/background]
    Post edited by Unknown User on
    Ping G400 driver w/Adila Rogue 125 Silver 60S
    Cobra F7 5 wood w/Aldila Black 70S
    TEE Pro 21* hybrid (hook machine)
    Ping G410 irons w/Recoil 95S (i200 backups)
    Ping Glide 50/55/60 wedges w/Recoil 110S
    Ping Anser/Arna putter - the "real deal!"
  • BrianL99BrianL99 Banned Posts: 5,116 ClubWRX
    So for many years, some friends and i went to Myrtle Beach to play golf every spring. 6 cops, 1 FF & myself.



    One particular, the FF Phil, called 2 weeks before the trip (that was already paid for) and said he couldn't come. He didn't realize our trip fell on his 20th Wedding Anniversary. Disappointing, to say the least, as Phil was one of our most fun friends.



    We pull into our hotel, unloaded the clubs and when walked into the hotel, Phil was sitting there waiting for us.



    "Phil, what are you doing here"?



    "Well, is was like this. I got home last night and when I walked into the house, the floor of the kitchen was covered with rose petals, leading to my bedroom. I followed the rose petals to the bedroom and there was a bottle of champagne on the night stand and my wife was lying naked in bed, tied to the bedpost with 4 of my ties. She was drinking from a Champagne Flute, looked up at me and said ... I love you Phil, for our Anniversary, you can do anything you want".



    So I grabbed my clubs and I'm here.
  • RSinSGRSinSG ClubWRX Posts: 3,029 ClubWRX
    After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in all the years they had been married.



    On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.



    Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze.



    The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"



    "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays..............but I play golf on Fridays."
    Ping G400 Tour AD DI6s
    Ping G30 3 wood, 5 wood
    Ben Hogan VTKR 21* hybrid
    Ping G400 Irons 5-SW, Steel Fiber i95
    Ping Glide 60* LW
    Scotty Cameron Studio Blade (or)
     Scotty CameronFastback
    Gamegolf
    https://www.ledges.com/ Home course
  • golfandfishinggolfandfishing Members Posts: 3,400 ✭✭
    Two hillbillies are out hunting and one accidentally shoots the other one. He calls 911 and says " I just accidentally shot and killed my best friend". 911 operator says " stay calm, are you sure he is dead?" "Hang on." 3 gunshots follow and he gets back on the phone "ok, I'm sure."
  • No_Catchy_NicknameNo_Catchy_Nickname Kyushu,_JapanMembers Posts: 5,094 ✭✭
    BrianL99 wrote:


    So for many years, some friends and i went to Myrtle Beach to play golf every spring. 6 cops, 1 FF & myself.



    One particular, the FF Phil, called 2 weeks before the trip (that was already paid for) and said he couldn't come. He didn't realize our trip fell on his 20th Wedding Anniversary. Disappointing, to say the least, as Phil was one of our most fun friends.



    We pull into our hotel, unloaded the clubs and when walked into the hotel, Phil was sitting there waiting for us.



    "Phil, what are you doing here"?



    "Well, is was like this. I got home last night and when I walked into the house, the floor of the kitchen was covered with rose petals, leading to my bedroom. I followed the rose petals to the bedroom and there was a bottle of champagne on the night stand and my wife was lying naked in bed, tied to the bedpost with 4 of my ties. She was drinking from a Champagne Flute, looked up at me and said ... I love you Phil, for our Anniversary, you can do anything you want".



    So I grabbed my clubs and I'm here.




    That's just totally unbelievable. No way that happened.





    How could she be drinking from a champagne flute if she was lying down and tied to the bedposts?



    And how did she manage to tie herself up to the bedposts in the first place?
    Driver: Ping G400 Tour 65S
    4w: TaylorMade R9 stock Fujikura Motore X flex
    7w TaylorMade V-steel, Quadra Fire Express RB 6SX
    Hybrid: RomaRo iBrid 23* Attas EZ 85S
    Irons (4i-PW): Wilson fg-62 S300 4/5-PW or MP4 Yoro Modus 125X 5-PW
    Wedges: Callaway MD2 T-grind combination of 52*, 56*, 58*, 60*
    Putter: Mac Jack Nicklaus Muirfield

    Old stuff: Tons of persimmon and older irons. 
  • DavePelz4DavePelz4 A golf course in the Chicago area.ClubWRX Posts: 24,250 ClubWRX
    edited Feb 12, 2017 #19
    If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
    Post edited by Unknown User on
  • Neverfadeaway86Neverfadeaway86 Members Posts: 234
    edited Feb 12, 2017 #20
    • It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course: Babe Ruth
    • If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball: Jack Lemmon
    • After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye: Chi Chi Rodriguez


    While sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Padraig remarked to a fellow club member', I'm not going to play golf with Jim Lawler anymore. He cheats.' troll_golfing_md_wht.gif


    'Why do you say that?' asked his friend.


    'Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green', replied Padraig indignantly.


    'That's entirely possible', commented his friend.


    'Not when I had his golf ball in my pocket', retorted Padraig with finality.
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Au revoir, gopher ![/font]

    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Driver: Titleist 913 D2[/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]3 Wood: Tour Edge Exotics Trilogy 15 degree[/font]

    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]3 Hybrid Ping I20 20 degree[/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]4 Hybrid: Ping G25 23 degree[/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]5-Gap Wedge: Ping G30 [/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Sand Wedge: Ping Glide 56 degree [/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Lob Wedge: Ping Glide 60 degree[/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Putter: Lynx Black Cat BC3 center shaft [/font]
  • Neverfadeaway86Neverfadeaway86 Members Posts: 234
    edited Feb 12, 2017 #21
    The Veterans Golf Association has negotiated with The Royal and Ancient Golf Club, based in St Andrews, Scotland to modify the Rules of Golf for Seniors

    Rule 1.a.5

    A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough

    with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall grass which groundskeepers failed to mow.

    Rule 2.d.6 (b)

    A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have travelled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.

    Rule 3.b.3(g)

    There shall be no such thing as a lost ball The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making

    it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty.

    Rule 4.c.7(h)

    If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.

    Rule 5.

    Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.

    Rule 6.a.9(k)

    There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

    Rule 7.g.15(z)

    There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers' shortcomings.

    Rule 8.k.9(s)

    Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impracticable for many senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.

    Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes.
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Au revoir, gopher ![/font]

    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Driver: Titleist 913 D2[/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]3 Wood: Tour Edge Exotics Trilogy 15 degree[/font]

    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]3 Hybrid Ping I20 20 degree[/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]4 Hybrid: Ping G25 23 degree[/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]5-Gap Wedge: Ping G30 [/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Sand Wedge: Ping Glide 56 degree [/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Lob Wedge: Ping Glide 60 degree[/font]
    [font=Titillium, Arial, sans-serif]Putter: Lynx Black Cat BC3 center shaft [/font]
  • DavePelz4DavePelz4 A golf course in the Chicago area.ClubWRX Posts: 24,250 ClubWRX
    Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
  • EntourageLifeEntourageLife EntourageLife Members Posts: 1,016 ClubWRX
    • It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course: Babe Ruth
    • If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball: Jack Lemmon
    • After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye: Chi Chi Rodriguez


    While sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Padraig remarked to a fellow club member', I'm not going to play golf with Jim Lawler anymore. He cheats.' [url="http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/sports/funny_golf_cartoons.htm"]troll_golfing_md_wht.gif[/url]


    'Why do you say that?' asked his friend.


    'Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green', replied Padraig indignantly.


    'That's entirely possible', commented his friend.


    'Not when I had his golf ball in my pocket', retorted Padraig with finality.




    Babe Ruth never got to 3,000 hits...
  • deetsaldeetsal deetsal Members Posts: 1,380 ✭✭
    Wealthy man on his death bed. Calles a Rabbi, a Priest, and a born again preacher to his side. I know they say you can't take it with you but here is 100,000 each in these envelopes I trust you as men of god so toss them in before they close the casket. He dies, each toss in the envelope. They are talking afterward, Rabbi confesses that he took 50,000 out for a hospital in Israel in desperate need. The Priest also confesses to removing 60,000 for their home for unwed mothers. The preacher is indigent, " I am shocked, he trusted us as men of God, I for one have a conscience, I put in a check for the full amount ".
  • DavePelz4DavePelz4 A golf course in the Chicago area.ClubWRX Posts: 24,250 ClubWRX
    Lena walks into the bar where Oly is working and asks for an ice cold beer. "Anheuser Busch" asks Oly? "Ya it's fine and how's your ****" asks Lena.
  • BrianL99BrianL99 Banned Posts: 5,116 ClubWRX

    BrianL99 wrote:


    So for many years, some friends and i went to Myrtle Beach to play golf every spring. 6 cops, 1 FF & myself.



    One particular, the FF Phil, called 2 weeks before the trip (that was already paid for) and said he couldn't come. He didn't realize our trip fell on his 20th Wedding Anniversary. Disappointing, to say the least, as Phil was one of our most fun friends.



    We pull into our hotel, unloaded the clubs and when walked into the hotel, Phil was sitting there waiting for us.



    "Phil, what are you doing here"?



    "Well, is was like this. I got home last night and when I walked into the house, the floor of the kitchen was covered with rose petals, leading to my bedroom. I followed the rose petals to the bedroom and there was a bottle of champagne on the night stand and my wife was lying naked in bed, tied to the bedpost with 4 of my ties. She was drinking from a Champagne Flute, looked up at me and said ... I love you Phil, for our Anniversary, you can do anything you want".



    So I grabbed my clubs and I'm here.




    That's just totally unbelievable. No way that happened.





    How could she be drinking from a champagne flute if she was lying down and tied to the bedposts?



    And how did she manage to tie herself up to the bedposts in the first place?




    Your Mom allows you to post online, without supervision?
  • augustgolfaugustgolf Golf with dignity Coastal NCMembers Posts: 3,891 ✭✭
    DavePelz4 wrote:
    Lena walks into the bar where Oly is working and asks for an ice cold beer. "Anheuser Busch" asks Oly? "Ya it's fine and how's your ****" asks Lena.




    My favorite:



    A dyslexic walks into a bra
    Pings from the beginning

    OGA member 1415
    or is it 1514...
    I don't remember exactly
  • BrianL99BrianL99 Banned Posts: 5,116 ClubWRX
    deetsal wrote:


    The preacher is indigent, " I am shocked, he trusted us as men of God, I for one have a conscience, I put in a check for the full amount ".




    Indigent, huh?
  • Bob CatBob Cat Golfopath Members Posts: 1,540 ✭✭
    Dude walks into the Dr's office with a parrot on his shoulder.



    Doc, says "can I help you?"



    Parrot responds "Yeah, can ya cut this thing off ma' a$$?!"
    Taylormade M1
    TaylorMade R5 Dual (3) / R580 (7)
    Ping i15 / Zing 2
    Titleist Vokey SM7 (Raw)
    TM Spider Tour Black
    Titleist AVX
    Sun Mountain Four 5
    Clicgear 3.5+
  • BrianL99BrianL99 Banned Posts: 5,116 ClubWRX
    edited Feb 12, 2017 #30
    So 3 midgets are sitting at a bar.



    The bartending gets the mail and in the mail, is the newest edition of the Guiness Book of Records.



    One of the midgets says, "Hey! Give me that book. I'm listing in there. I want to show my friends. I have the world's "smallest feet"! He flips through the pages and shows his friends the listing and sure enough, he's got the "World's Smallest Feet".



    The midget next to him says ... "give me that book"! "I have the World's Smallest Hands", I'll show you!" Sure enough, he flips through the book and finds the listing and sure enough, he's got the "World's Smallest Hands".



    The 3rd midget says .... "Give me that book! I'll show you. I have the World's Smallest Manhood!!"



    He starts flipping through the pages and finally finds it ... he runs his finger down the page to show his friends ... all of a sudden he blurts out ... "who the HECK is this guy "Medic" ??????







    (Sorry Jim, I had to pick someone I know, so I didn't get in trouble. If I had my druthers, there are plenty of other names I would have used image/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />
  • MedicMedic Members Posts: 9,417 ✭✭
    BrianL99 wrote:


    So 3 midgets are sitting at a bar.



    The bartending gets the mail and in the mail, is the newest edition of the Guiness Book of Records.



    One of the midgets says, "Hey! Give me that book. I'm listing in there. I want to show my friends. I have the world's "smallest feet"! He flips through the pages and shows his friends the listing and sure enough, he's got the "World's Smallest Feet".



    The midget next to him says ... "give me that book"! "I have the World's Smallest Hands", I'll show you!" Sure enough, he flips through the book and finds the listing and sure enough, he's got the "World's Smallest Hands".



    The 3rd midget says .... "Give me that book! I'll show you. I have the World's Smallest Manhood!!"



    He starts flipping through the pages and finally finds it ... he runs his finger down the page to show his friends ... all of a sudden he blurts out ... "who the HECK is this guy "Medic" ??????







    (Sorry Jim, I had to pick someone I know, so I didn't get in trouble. If I had my druthers, there are plenty of other names I would have used image/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />




    Ow.
    Callaway Epic with Fujikura 62s in 45.25 set at 12.5*
    Taylormade Rbz FW (17*)
    Callaway X-Hot Pro 20* Hybrid
    Callaway Steelhead 4-PW w/KBS 90s
    Titleist Vokey 50*
    Titleist Vokey SM-6 56*
    Titleist Vokey SM-6 60-08 M
    Tad Moore TM-1 35"
    Callaway Chrome Soft
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