A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack!
"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his mobile, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you.
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."
Ole was driving in traffic when he was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the Ole's car and asked, "Are you going to Oslo?"
"Sure," answered Ole, "Do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to the Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said Ole.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of Ole's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of Oslo when suddenly he was horrified. There was Ole walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps.
With a screech of brakes the truck driver pulled off the road and ran over to Ole.
"What da **** are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Ya, Ya I know ya did," said Ole, "but yust as ve got der it looked like it vas goin ta rain, so ve decided to go see a movie instead."