Best Driver of 2019 | Full Article _HERE_ | Discussion Thread _HERE_

Could Use A Laugh....

1567911
11

Comments

  • thug the bunnythug the bunny  6141Members Posts: 6,141
    Joined:  #242
    I was taking a nice relaxed #2 when I realized that the demo toilets at Home Depot aren't actually connected to plumbing.
    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • ramdorskyramdorsky  121Members Posts: 121
    Joined:  #243
    How to be a really good friend!



    Jim brings his best buddy home for dinner.

    Alice, Jims’ wife, screams, "You *******! I haven't

    done my hair or makeup, the house is a mess, the

    dishes aren't done, I'm still in my pajamas and I

    can't be bothered with cooking tonight!

    Why the **** did you bring him home, anyway?"

    "Because he's thinking of getting married..."
    Posted:
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Cobra Bio Cell Pro....10*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Taylormade RBZ.......15*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway RAZR(hy)..21*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Mizuno JPX900T.....4-10[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Scor...........................50*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Vokey..................54* 60*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]SC American Classic III[/font]
  • thug the bunnythug the bunny  6141Members Posts: 6,141
    Joined:  #244
    ramdorsky wrote:


    How to be a really good friend!



    Jim brings his best buddy home for dinner.

    Alice, Jims’ wife, screams, "You *******! I haven't

    done my hair or makeup, the house is a mess, the

    dishes aren't done, I'm still in my pajamas and I

    can't be bothered with cooking tonight!

    Why the **** did you bring him home, anyway?"

    "Because he's thinking of getting married..."




    Took me a second..
    Posted:
  • ramdorskyramdorsky  121Members Posts: 121
    Joined:  #245
    Old man and the medical students

    Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.

    He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

    One student said to his friend:

    "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

    The other student says:

    "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."

    Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.

    They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk,

    but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

    The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

    The first student said, "I think its Peltry Syndrome."

    The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong.."

    The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

    The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

    So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"

    The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too"
    Posted:
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Cobra Bio Cell Pro....10*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Taylormade RBZ.......15*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway RAZR(hy)..21*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Mizuno JPX900T.....4-10[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Scor...........................50*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Vokey..................54* 60*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]SC American Classic III[/font]
  • DpavsDpavs OverWRX'ed Michigan 3485ClubWRX Posts: 3,485
    Joined:  #246
    Recently a lawyer friend of mine was bitten by a snake. Sadly there was no immediately available medical help so the snake died.
    Posted:
  • DpavsDpavs OverWRX'ed Michigan 3485ClubWRX Posts: 3,485
    Joined:  #247
    My neighbors are listening to great music right now. Whether they like it or not.



    Jellyfish have existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. This fact gives hope to quite a few people I know.



    My parents often tell me that nobody is perfect. My friends have referred to me as a nobody. From this I have deduced that I am perfect!



    [background=rgb(255, 255, 255)]

    [/background]
    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #248
    True story. I'm sitting on the sofa (without my glasses) this afternoon watching the Honda, and I hit the 'Guide' button on my remote to check out the listings. I'm scrolling through the listings when I see "The Golfather". Cool. Oh, wait a minute.



    Of course, my mind starts to work on a script for The Golfather. Scenes include waking up in bed and discovering several dozen Top Flights.



    the-golfather-wallpaper-s.jpg
    Posted:
  • ramdorskyramdorsky  121Members Posts: 121
    Joined:  #249


    From SwingxSwing...


    During John’s physical examination, his doctor asked him about his physical activity level.


    John described a typical day this way, “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk about seven miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through some trees and vegetation. I got sand in my shoes, eyes and hair. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few ‘leaks’ behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered and at the end of it all, I drank eight beers.”


    Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one **** of an outdoorsman!”


    “No,” John replied, “I’m just a crappy golfer.”
    Posted:
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Cobra Bio Cell Pro....10*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Taylormade RBZ.......15*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway RAZR(hy)..21*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Mizuno JPX900T.....4-10[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Scor...........................50*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Vokey..................54* 60*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]SC American Classic III[/font]
  • Bob9604Bob9604  270Members Posts: 270
    Joined:  #250
    A gentleman is having trouble in the bedroom so his wife finally talks him into seeing a doctor. When the doctor asks him what was wrong he explained that when they try to have **** he can not get "aroused". The doctor turns to the mans wife, tells her to get undressed and lay in the table. He then begins to look her all over and thoroughly examine her. After several minutes he turns to the man and says "Your fine, she didn't give me a boner either."
    Posted:
  • ramdorskyramdorsky  121Members Posts: 121
    Joined:  #251
    A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died. "Holy ****" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side." Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson."

    Before & After Marriage



    BEFORE MARRIAGE

    John--Ah....At last. I can hardly wait!

    Jane--Do you want me to leave?

    John--NO! Don't even think about it.

    Jane--Do you love me?

    John-- Of course! Always have and always will!

    Jane--Have you ever cheated on me?

    John--NO! Why are you asking?

    Jane--Will you kiss me?

    John--Every chance I get!

    Jane--Will you hit me?

    John--Heck no! Are you crazy?

    Jane-- Can I trust you?

    John--Yes

    Jane--Darling!

    AFTER MARRIAGE Read from the bottom back to the top
    Posted:
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Cobra Bio Cell Pro....10*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Taylormade RBZ.......15*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway RAZR(hy)..21*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Mizuno JPX900T.....4-10[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Scor...........................50*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Vokey..................54* 60*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]SC American Classic III[/font]
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #252
    woman-beats-off-shark.jpg
    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #253
    208693-Bill-Posters-Is-An-Innocent-Man.png
    Posted:
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #254
    My therapist says I'm too preoccupied with vengeance.



    We'll see about that.
    Posted:
  • thug the bunnythug the bunny  6141Members Posts: 6,141
    Joined:  edited Mar 15, 2018 #255
    this-is-a-notice-400x300.jpg



    left-turn-arrow-400x289.jpg



    two-hour-parking-394x525.jpg



    practice-coloring-a-turtle.jpg



    fasteners-394x525.jpg
    Posted:
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #256
    Whiteboards are remarkable.
    Posted:
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #257
    From the makers of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter(tm), introducing:
    • It Might Be Bread
    • Let's Just Say It's Cream Cheese
    • It Almost Tastes Like Jam
    • Sure, It's "Maple Syrup"
    • Smells a Bit Like Eggs
    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #258
    Guy: Boss, I've got a prob --



    Boss: There are no such things as problems, only opportunities.



    Guy: Oh, OK. Boss, I have a serious drinking opportunity.
    Posted:
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #259
    Wow, those decals look so realistic.



    painted-flames-truck.png
    Posted:
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #260
    Happy times. On vacation with the ex.



    parasailing-graham-harris-grace-harris-scissors.jpeg
    Posted:
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #261
    Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.



    Churchill: Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
    Posted:
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #262
    28764463_347708189067411_5607145612416909312_n.jpg
    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • ramdorskyramdorsky  121Members Posts: 121
    Joined:  #263
    From Swing x Swing-



    John and Bill, two friends of equal ability decide to play a round of golf together and “play it as it lies” on all shots. Both hit their tee shots on the the first hole, a long par-5, straight down the middle of the fairway, 260 yards away.


    They drive up for their second shots and John hits his shot again down the middle, setting up an easy approach. But Bill slices his second shot over into the trees and it ends up on the cart path of the adjoining hole.


    “Guess I get a free drop from the cart path,” Bill says.


    “Oh no,” says his friend. “We agreed; play it as it lies.”


    So, Bill drops John off in front of the green and drives over to his ball on the cart path. John watches in amusement as sparks shower down from the practice swings of his opponent and then he looked on in amazement as Bill hit a perfectly struck shot that landed on the green and rolled to within three feet of the pin.


    Pleased, Bill drives up to the green as John approaches.


    “Great shot back there!” John said. “What club did you use?”


    Bill smiled and replied, “Your six iron.”
    Posted:
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Cobra Bio Cell Pro....10*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Taylormade RBZ.......15*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Callaway RAZR(hy)..21*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Mizuno JPX900T.....4-10[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Scor...........................50*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Vokey..................54* 60*[/font]
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]SC American Classic III[/font]
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #264
    The moment you realize that feeding your pet rabbit cherries is going to give you nightmares.



    animals-eating-berries-61__605.jpg
    Posted:
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #265
    CP2MA3sXAAECVRf.jpg
    Posted:
  • thug the bunnythug the bunny  6141Members Posts: 6,141
    Joined:  edited Apr 4, 2018 #266
    Argonne69 wrote:


    The moment you realize that feeding your pet rabbit cherries is going to give you nightmares.



    animals-eating-berries-61__605.jpg




    Yikes! The killer bunny strikes again!



    [media=]
    Posted:
  • DavePelz4DavePelz4 A golf course in the Chicago area. 25074ClubWRX Posts: 25,074
    Joined:  #267
    Over a beer with a golf bud this past weekend, I had a profound revelation.



    We were talking about "best friends" and being a romantic lad, I said Mrs. Pelz was my best friend. He quickly said she wasn't, and told me it was the dog. We went back and forth about this a couple of times and then he said, "Lock them both in the trunk of your car for a couple of hours and then see who is happy to see you. THAT he said, is your best friend."



    Always loved that dog.
    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • fillwelixfillwelix Boston Area 1310Members Posts: 1,310
    Joined:  #268
    There are two types of hotel guests: those who ask when tomorrow's breakfast begins, and those who ask when it ends. Which type are you?
    Posted:
    WITB
    Taylormade M3 Speeder Evo IV 565 X
    Taylormade M2 2016 3HL HZRDUS Black 75g S
    Mizuno MP33 3i Steelfiber i110 
    Taylormade P770 4i-5i Modus 3 Tour 120 S
    Taylormade P730 6-PW Modus 3 Tour 120 S
    Taylormade MG 52 KBS Tour-V 130 S
    Taylormade Hi-Toe 58 & 64 KBS Hi Rev Wedge
    Byron Morgan DH89
  • fillwelixfillwelix Boston Area 1310Members Posts: 1,310
    Joined:  #269
    If you spill paint on your lawn, you can watch paint dry and grass grow at the same time
    Posted:
    WITB
    Taylormade M3 Speeder Evo IV 565 X
    Taylormade M2 2016 3HL HZRDUS Black 75g S
    Mizuno MP33 3i Steelfiber i110 
    Taylormade P770 4i-5i Modus 3 Tour 120 S
    Taylormade P730 6-PW Modus 3 Tour 120 S
    Taylormade MG 52 KBS Tour-V 130 S
    Taylormade Hi-Toe 58 & 64 KBS Hi Rev Wedge
    Byron Morgan DH89
  • thug the bunnythug the bunny  6141Members Posts: 6,141
    Joined:  #270
    DavePelz4 wrote:


    Over a beer with a golf bud this past weekend, I had a profound revelation.



    We were talking about "best friends" and being a romantic lad, I said Mrs. Pelz was my best friend. He quickly said she wasn't, and told me it was the dog. We went back and forth about this a couple of times and then he said, "Lock them both in the trunk of your car for a couple of hours and then see who is happy to see you. THAT he said, is your best friend."



    Always loved that dog.




    Who else greets you like your dog when you come home at the end of the day?

    Kids: 'Hey'.

    Wife: 'Hi'.

    Dog: 'Oh my god, you're home!!! I am so happy you're home!!! I love you! I'm going to run around in little circles and make little whiny noises! Please pet me!!! Let me jump all over you and lick your face!'
    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • Argonne69Argonne69  22703Members Posts: 22,703
    Joined:  #271
    A toast to the bride and groom:



    "I wish you the kind of joy kids experience when the ketchup makes a **** sound".
    Posted:
11

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file