Dealing with Dads who Caddie too much

tiger1873tiger1873 Members Posts: 1,011 ✭✭
After a couple of years of doing tournaments with my kids it amazes me how some dads react. I am sure you can insert mom in some cases as well but its generally speaking dads.



We just started our first tournament and it amazes me how every dad likes to be critical of the Dads on short game but actually do the same things to their kids. When you yell at you kids because she didn't get par It really disgusts me this kind of behavior. The older they get the worse I seem to see.



The one thing I hate most is the Dads who try coach every shot and then get mad when is misses. If you kids 11 or 12 and can not hit the ball strait or putt on their own you may need to make sure they have more lessons. Let the kids play and have fun.





I also can't stand it when dads get mad when their kids is losing. Do you really think that will help. I understand that sometimes you need to coach your kids especially girls if they are having a bad day. My suggesting is if things go really bad take the max on a hole or two and let them get their mental game and keep playing . The tournaments she is playing in doesn't matter so I rather she play them out usually and never had to withdraw.



The parents also are the ones that teach bad or plain dangerous habits. I had dad intentionally run up the fairway after there kids shot and stand 100 yards up in fairway. Finally had to tell them to stop doing since my daughter was worried about hitting and missing shots. I hate this for two reasons you can see if there dropping a ball and second you actually might hit them. What irked me the dad joked about head games to mess up other players later.



These dads are very belligerent and will argue about rules and some will actually fight you on the course. So one has to wonder the best way to deal with it.
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  • heavy_hitterheavy_hitter Members Posts: 3,003 ✭✭
    Sad to hear.



    I learned a long time ago with my daughter, just call the other parents out in a respectful way.



    As my daughter progressed into better tournaments it was great that the parents had limits and barriers from the kids. At that point people who spoke multiple languages became the biggest abusers of Do Not Talk to Your Child unless asking if they needed food or water. There will be flat out full conversations in a foreign language. Club Selection, Distance etc. I learned from others real quick to call them out on it. We would just say "We are not going to start talking to our kids today." Typical response, in English, "I was just asking them if they needed food." Response back "Then you need to ask them in English or I will have the official remove you."



    My sons first US Kids tournament either, there was an older group playing an adjacent hole. Two dads started yelling and cursing at each other. One of the dads then started chasing the other to fight. The other dad got in a golf cart and took off. There can be some crazy stuff between parents.
  • ctmason_98ctmason_98 TOTALLY outta the bag... Posts: 1,827 ✭✭
    There's a part of me that would rather my son not get involved in organized sports at all. But of course he already has...
  • tiger1873tiger1873 Members Posts: 1,011 ✭✭






    My sons first US Kids tournament either, there was an older group playing an adjacent hole. Two dads started yelling and cursing at each other. One of the dads then started chasing the other to fight. The other dad got in a golf cart and took off. There can be some crazy stuff between parents.




    That is crazy I can see how that would happen with some of the Dad's I have been with. I usually try to be respectful to them but I call them out. At a certain point it isn't worth it.



    I like what my daughter told me afterwards. Those kids will never break 80 because there too busy listening to their dads. I also found the best Dads are the high handicappers like me. For me it's easy to let her read the green or call the club since she probably reads it better then me.
  • heavy_hitterheavy_hitter Members Posts: 3,003 ✭✭
    tiger1873 wrote:



    My sons first US Kids tournament either, there was an older group playing an adjacent hole. Two dads started yelling and cursing at each other. One of the dads then started chasing the other to fight. The other dad got in a golf cart and took off. There can be some crazy stuff between parents.




    That is crazy I can see how that would happen with some of the Dad's I have been with. I usually try to be respectful to them but I call them out. At a certain point it isn't worth it.



    I like what my daughter told me afterwards. Those kids will never break 80 because there too busy listening to their dads. I also found the best Dads are the high handicappers like me. For me it's easy to let her read the green or call the club since she probably reads it better then me.




    The best Dad's are the ones that want their kids to have fun and enjoy themselves.



    The worst Dad's are the ones that want their kids to be Tiger Woods at 10. The dad's get caught up more in competing than the kids do. Watch The Short Game on Netflix and you will see exactly what I am talking about.



    The worst Dad's are also the ones trying to get their kid a college scholarship when they are 10. No one is going to get a college scholarship when they are 10. They don't even understand what scholarships entail. Girl's get 6 scholarships for a 10 to 12 woman team. Getting a full scholarship, is highly unlikely unless you are going to be 1-4 for 4 years on a women's team. Scholarship money is also not guaranteed every year. These parents don't have a clue. I always try to educate the parents when talking to parents when my son is playing. I can count on one hand how many of the parents understand the process and I have spoken to a lot.
  • BrianMcGBrianMcG Members Posts: 2,226 ✭✭
    I'm glad I grew up playing golf when I did. There were never parents ANYWHERE on the golf course. The coaches all hung out in the bar or the putting green waiting for you to finish.



    Now you'll see parents/coaches driving golf carts all over the course like its the freaking Ryder Cup or something. If I was in charge of junior tournament rule number 1 would be, NO SPECTATORS ALLOWED ON THE COURSE.
    Walter: Tell me Bobby, why do you play this game?
    Bobby: I play because I love it.
    Walter: Well I play for the money. I have to win. That is why every time we face each other I will always beat you.
  • Yanki01Yanki01 TEXASMembers Posts: 5,974 ✭✭
    I didn't play much tournament golf when i was a kid but i remember when i was playing baseball or football, my parents wouldn't sit in the stands. they'd park the truck in the outfield and sit there to get away from the crazy parents. parents try to live through their kids too much.
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  • heavy_hitterheavy_hitter Members Posts: 3,003 ✭✭
    BrianMcG wrote:


    I'm glad I grew up playing golf when I did. There were never parents ANYWHERE on the golf course. The coaches all hung out in the bar or the putting green waiting for you to finish.



    Now you'll see parents/coaches driving golf carts all over the course like its the freaking Ryder Cup or something. If I was in charge of junior tournament rule number 1 would be, NO SPECTATORS ALLOWED ON THE COURSE.




    It would be hard to find a course to play on. Parents renting a cart is a huge income to the course. As well as food and beverage. They don't want you to drop your kids off and leave.



    I can honestly say that I have never been in a US Kids grouping with parents that are too crazy. The worst is parents teeing the ball up for their kids, standing behind them aligning them on every shot, and lastly lining up their putts. My son asked me several year ago why I didn't help him line up his putts. He asked at a tournament in speaking distance to the other parents. I responded "Son, everyone needs to learn to wipe their a$$. You will thank me in several years letting you learn how to read greens." I got a look from the other 2 parents and just chuckled in the back of my head.
  • NevergolfparNevergolfpar Members Posts: 56
    What a great topic. For those of you going through the whole US Kids experience...yes you will see times where parents get 'over-involved' in their child's game. However, a vast majority of golf dads/moms are not militant at all and most are great people. As a golf dad myself, who's son currently plays at the D1 collegiate level, let me give you all some perspective.



    Of all the children who went on to play at the D1 college level (about 10) that my son played with on a regular basis...not one parent would I describe as militant. We all (including myself) had our picadillos (I had no problem letting my son know when I was displeased with his performance--I only would get mad when would 'give up', never at his score), but none of us parents were ever seen lining up their child's putts, reading the greens etc.... Our children did this on their own. Maybe to their detriment at times, but in the long run our children all benefited from playing their own game. Universally, the parents who let their children learn and develop their own games benefited the most in the long run. I do not know one parent who was militant (except for one young girl) get the joy of watching their son/daughter play at the D1 college level. The rest would inevidently burn out and quit game entirely. Here is a current list of the so-called 'normal' parents I use to call friends, and where some of their children currently play collegiate golf (all on at least some scholarship):

    1) University of Illinois

    2) University of Illinois (Woman's team)

    3) University of Iowa

    4) University of Wisconsin

    5) Butler University

    6) Illinois State University

    7) University of Texas

    8) Northern Illinois University

    9) UCLA

    10) University of Nebraska

    11) Indiana University



    To the OP, don't fret at all at these parents. Keep parenting the way you are and your child will be better off in the long run. Trust me.
  • KBongKBong Members Posts: 1,194 ✭✭
    edited Feb 14, 2017 #10
    tiger1873 wrote:


    After a couple of years of doing tournaments with my kids it amazes me how some dads react. I am sure you can insert mom in some cases as well but its generally speaking dads.


    You need to watch the Short Game video....lol.

    https://youtu.be/5GeeLSuavbo?t=669
  • JetPilotJetPilot Members Posts: 61
    Prepare, compete and have fun. Everything else will take care of itself. I'm a firm believer that talent will eventually shine through. Too many parents have way too high of expectations for their kids. It's almost like they have put a mandate on their kids to win. I see it all too often...sad. Most of the dads I see acting like this are unbelievably unathletic and dorky.
  • Zaphod2319Zaphod2319 Members Posts: 21
    JetPilot wrote:


    Prepare, compete and have fun. Everything else will take care of itself. I'm a firm believer that talent will eventually shine through. Too many parents have way too high of expectations for their kids. It's almost like they have put a mandate on their kids to win. I see it all too often...sad. Most of the dads I see acting like this are unbelievably unathletic and dorky.




    My wife was the team manager for my son's soccer travel team one year. We only had a couple fathers and one very out of shape mother that barked at their kids during games. My wife arranged a parents vs kids game during practice one day. After those 10 and 11 year olds stomped our asses into pitch, those parent lightened their bark to a grumble.
  • BaitkillerBaitkiller Members Posts: 1,707 ✭✭
    We only play no caddy tours for all the above reasons. On the occasionew that a caddy is required a sibling carries the bag.

    I coach 3 sports, none of them golf. I'm out.
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  • Bob CatBob Cat Golfopath Members Posts: 1,530 ✭✭
    Some great times walking and carting when our son played.



    Wife and I's goal was to stay invisible and just enjoy the day. We basically had a roving picnic. Great times.
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  • dfwgolfdfwgolf Members Posts: 5
    edited Feb 15, 2017 #15
    KBong wrote:


    You need to watch the Short Game video....lol.

    https://youtu.be/5GeeLSuavbo?t=669




    If you think that is bad you should see those Dads in real life. a lot of the short game kids are from Dallas and on the local tour. I wish the local tour would ban these Dads from being a caddy. Sometimes it is better to avoid certain tournaments when they enter. When they play it ends up taking 6 or 7 hours to complete a round. image/angry2.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':angry22:' />
  • Boricua GolfBoricua Golf Members Posts: 3,380 ClubWRX
    What's funny is that this happens at the Pro level as well, I caddied for an LPGA pro and her dad was following, every time she hit a "bad" shot he said something to her, I spoke to her and we started walking on the opposite side of the fairway he was walking, then later, on the range, I had told him that I understood he wanted her to do well, but he was hurting more than he was helping, for the next 3 rounds he didn't say anything...we made the cut and had a lot of fun...
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  • cwglumcwglum Members Posts: 1,554 ✭✭
    Zaphod2319 wrote:

    JetPilot wrote:


    Prepare, compete and have fun. Everything else will take care of itself. I'm a firm believer that talent will eventually shine through. Too many parents have way too high of expectations for their kids. It's almost like they have put a mandate on their kids to win. I see it all too often...sad. Most of the dads I see acting like this are unbelievably unathletic and dorky.




    My wife was the team manager for my son's soccer travel team one year. We only had a couple fathers and one very out of shape mother that barked at their kids during games. My wife arranged a parents vs kids game during practice one day. After those 10 and 11 year olds stomped our asses into pitch, those parent lightened their bark to a grumble.




    Now that's a great idea right there ... Love it. My daughter played indoor soccer for a few sessions. That would've been a fun sight.
  • Tigermatt31Tigermatt31 Members Posts: 103
    My dad has been the best caddy I've ever had. He knows it not his place to give advice and is there for the occasional putt read and mostly for mental advice. He keeps me in line and knows when to say something and let me do my thing. Its sad to see kids pushed to the limits by parents. A golfer from my high school was competing with jordan spieth in AJGA as a junior and quit when he got to college because of his dad. Parents need to let kids do their own thing.
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  • Bob CatBob Cat Golfopath Members Posts: 1,530 ✭✭


    My dad has been the best caddy I've ever had. He knows it not his place to give advice and is there for the occasional putt read and mostly for mental advice. He keeps me in line and knows when to say something and let me do my thing. Its sad to see kids pushed to the limits by parents. A golfer from my high school was competing with jordan spieth in AJGA as a junior and quit when he got to college because of his dad. Parents need to let kids do their own thing.




    These gentlemen "get it".



    Good luck to you and your team.
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  • theebdktheebdk Members Posts: 416 ✭✭
    My son played for two years at the high school level, last year as a co-captain. Still plays but not competitively. I enjoyed walking with his foursome, never caddying. Meeting parents from other schools was a lot of fun. Talking to the young men and women about whatever, sometimes college plans sometimes nonsense. Often raking the bunker to help keep the group moving or perhaps showing them how to properly rake a bunker or take care of the course. Watching a competitor give an encouraging word or a nice shot shout to the person they were playing against. I am glad I never met anyone like those mentioned in your post. Everyone I met was simply awesome. My wife went out a few times and realized how special the sport is and how special the players are.
  • Phillip ManevalPhillip Maneval Members Posts: 108
    And these are the very reasons I am so grateful that my dad or anyone in my immediate family has never touched a golf club... I like the challenge for myself as a 15 yo high school freshman, and the possibility for burnout and ruining the sport is so much lower because of this. Also, most kids are not total knuckleheads, we know what we do wrong and don't need someone half way up are a-hole about it. Enjoy the Sport my friends!
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  • Pat du GolfPat du Golf Posts: 553 ✭✭
    edited Feb 26, 2017 #22
    I will never enroll my kids in the US kids Tournaments again. Our first year was just a disaster to the point when my boy asked me "Daddy, why are these parents make their little children cry all the time, it's just a game, right?" Having 7-9 yr old go thru this is not cool.

    This barrage of screams have long term effect on the kids self-esteem.

    The league should deal with these overbearing parents. Our kids should not be a mean for our future retirement..$$.
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  • Pat du GolfPat du Golf Posts: 553 ✭✭
    The US Kids tour should have a parents-kids event where parents tee off from the tips, and the kids play from their normal tees.

    At the end, scorecards are compared.

    All the proceeds will go to the local fund (us kids local chapter)
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  • leezer99leezer99 I swear I am quitting this site every day... Members Posts: 962 ✭✭


    I will never enroll my kids in the US kids Tournaments again. Our first year was just a disaster to the point when my boy asked me "Daddy, why are these parents make their little children cry all the time, it's just a game, right?" Having 7-9 yr old go thru this is not cool.

    This barrage of screams have long term effect on the kids self-esteem.

    The league should deal with these overbearing parents. Our kids should not be a mean for our future retirement..$$.




    Allegedly there's a seven year old kid in our tour that ran over another kid with a golf cart a few weeks ago.

    There's definitely something more important that I should be doing.

  • heavy_hitterheavy_hitter Members Posts: 3,003 ✭✭


    I will never enroll my kids in the US kids Tournaments again. Our first year was just a disaster to the point when my boy asked me "Daddy, why are these parents make their little children cry all the time, it's just a game, right?" Having 7-9 yr old go thru this is not cool.

    This barrage of screams have long term effect on the kids self-esteem.

    The league should deal with these overbearing parents. Our kids should not be a mean for our future retirement..$$.




    There are two kinds of kids that cry on the course.



    1. The parent that makes the kid cry. Yelling at them about swing, score, etc. This is the parent that wants their kid to be the next Tiger Woods at 9 years old.



    2. The kid that has high expectations, doesn't like what they just did, and doesn't understand how to emotionally handle it. The emotion can come out as anger, pouting, whining, and crying. This isn't about golf golf at all, but handling the emotions and being able to still compete.



    Number 2 is where I am at. My kid walks off number 11 in a tournament yesterday and just made par. He is angered that he just made par on a hole. Stomps his feet and pounds his putter in the ground. Starts pouting. I am shaking my head at him and go into lecture that he is more concerned with score and winning. Rather than playing the course he is focused on another player in the group that just birdied. He is 1 over par at this point and is worried about the other kid and winning or losing. He goes on to bogey the next two holes. Swing changes (starts swing harder), attitude changed, and more pouting and whining comes with it. What do you do? I know my kid and it is basically getting him to the side and yelling at him to get over it. Kind of waking him up a little bit to show him what he is doing to himself after the two holes.



    I honestly don't care if my kid shoots 100. I want him to be a gentleman on the course. I think sometimes kids, I know mine does, thinks that I will think less of him if he doesn't play well. I could honestly care less. The only thing that I care about is him respecting the game, respecting his opponents, being honest, and carrying himself like a gentleman. You win with class and you lose with class.



    As I have watched kids play this game, it seems that the kids that are better are very rough on themselves. Back when they were learning, they don't care if they make a quadruple bogey. As they get better they are mad when they make bogey, or don't play well. It is weird.
  • leezer99leezer99 I swear I am quitting this site every day... Members Posts: 962 ✭✭



    I will never enroll my kids in the US kids Tournaments again. Our first year was just a disaster to the point when my boy asked me "Daddy, why are these parents make their little children cry all the time, it's just a game, right?" Having 7-9 yr old go thru this is not cool.

    This barrage of screams have long term effect on the kids self-esteem.

    The league should deal with these overbearing parents. Our kids should not be a mean for our future retirement..$$.




    There are two kinds of kids that cry on the course.



    1. The parent that makes the kid cry. Yelling at them about swing, score, etc. This is the parent that wants their kid to be the next Tiger Woods at 9 years old.



    2. The kid that has high expectations, doesn't like what they just did, and doesn't understand how to emotionally handle it. The emotion can come out as anger, pouting, whining, and crying. This isn't about golf golf at all, but handling the emotions and being able to still compete.



    Number 2 is where I am at. My kid walks off number 11 in a tournament yesterday and just made par. He is angered that he just made par on a hole. Stomps his feet and pounds his putter in the ground. Starts pouting. I am shaking my head at him and go into lecture that he is more concerned with score and winning. Rather than playing the course he is focused on another player in the group that just birdied. He is 1 over par at this point and is worried about the other kid and winning or losing. He goes on to bogey the next two holes. Swing changes (starts swing harder), attitude changed, and more pouting and whining comes with it. What do you do? I know my kid and it is basically getting him to the side and yelling at him to get over it. Kind of waking him up a little bit to show him what he is doing to himself after the two holes.



    I honestly don't care if my kid shoots 100. I want him to be a gentleman on the course. I think sometimes kids, I know mine does, thinks that I will think less of him if he doesn't play well. I could honestly care less. The only thing that I care about is him respecting the game, respecting his opponents, being honest, and carrying himself like a gentleman. You win with class and you lose with class.



    As I have watched kids play this game, it seems that the kids that are better are very rough on themselves. Back when they were learning, they don't care if they make a quadruple bogey. As they get better they are mad when they make bogey, or don't play well. It is weird.




    HA! Mine is your second description as well. He has a five second rule where he can be mad, frustrated or whatever he's feeling and then he has to move on to the next shot. Definitely no stomping, throwing clubs, slamming clubs, etc though... that's grounds for being taken off the course mid round.

    There's definitely something more important that I should be doing.

  • heavy_hitterheavy_hitter Members Posts: 3,003 ✭✭
    leezer99 wrote:




    I will never enroll my kids in the US kids Tournaments again. Our first year was just a disaster to the point when my boy asked me "Daddy, why are these parents make their little children cry all the time, it's just a game, right?" Having 7-9 yr old go thru this is not cool.

    This barrage of screams have long term effect on the kids self-esteem.

    The league should deal with these overbearing parents. Our kids should not be a mean for our future retirement..$$.




    There are two kinds of kids that cry on the course.



    1. The parent that makes the kid cry. Yelling at them about swing, score, etc. This is the parent that wants their kid to be the next Tiger Woods at 9 years old.



    2. The kid that has high expectations, doesn't like what they just did, and doesn't understand how to emotionally handle it. The emotion can come out as anger, pouting, whining, and crying. This isn't about golf golf at all, but handling the emotions and being able to still compete.



    Number 2 is where I am at. My kid walks off number 11 in a tournament yesterday and just made par. He is angered that he just made par on a hole. Stomps his feet and pounds his putter in the ground. Starts pouting. I am shaking my head at him and go into lecture that he is more concerned with score and winning. Rather than playing the course he is focused on another player in the group that just birdied. He is 1 over par at this point and is worried about the other kid and winning or losing. He goes on to bogey the next two holes. Swing changes (starts swing harder), attitude changed, and more pouting and whining comes with it. What do you do? I know my kid and it is basically getting him to the side and yelling at him to get over it. Kind of waking him up a little bit to show him what he is doing to himself after the two holes.



    I honestly don't care if my kid shoots 100. I want him to be a gentleman on the course. I think sometimes kids, I know mine does, thinks that I will think less of him if he doesn't play well. I could honestly care less. The only thing that I care about is him respecting the game, respecting his opponents, being honest, and carrying himself like a gentleman. You win with class and you lose with class.



    As I have watched kids play this game, it seems that the kids that are better are very rough on themselves. Back when they were learning, they don't care if they make a quadruple bogey. As they get better they are mad when they make bogey, or don't play well. It is weird.




    HA! Mine is your second description as well. He has a five second rule where he can be mad, frustrated or whatever he's feeling and then he has to move on to the next shot. Definitely no stomping, throwing clubs, slamming clubs, etc though... that's grounds for being taken off the course mid round.




    Mine doesn't throw or slam clubs. The stomping is something new. He takes his putter and will pound it into the ground similar to tapping down a ball mark, but harder. I honestly don't have a problem with him stomping his feet or the putter pound. He has to release that emotion somewhere. It isn't good to hold the emotion in either. I think I am going to make him start wearing a rubber band on his wrist. Whenever he gets mad he has to snap it.
  • Palmetto GolferPalmetto Golfer Posts: 151 ✭✭

    leezer99 wrote:




    I will never enroll my kids in the US kids Tournaments again. Our first year was just a disaster to the point when my boy asked me "Daddy, why are these parents make their little children cry all the time, it's just a game, right?" Having 7-9 yr old go thru this is not cool.

    This barrage of screams have long term effect on the kids self-esteem.

    The league should deal with these overbearing parents. Our kids should not be a mean for our future retirement..$$.




    There are two kinds of kids that cry on the course.



    1. The parent that makes the kid cry. Yelling at them about swing, score, etc. This is the parent that wants their kid to be the next Tiger Woods at 9 years old.



    2. The kid that has high expectations, doesn't like what they just did, and doesn't understand how to emotionally handle it. The emotion can come out as anger, pouting, whining, and crying. This isn't about golf golf at all, but handling the emotions and being able to still compete.



    Number 2 is where I am at. My kid walks off number 11 in a tournament yesterday and just made par. He is angered that he just made par on a hole. Stomps his feet and pounds his putter in the ground. Starts pouting. I am shaking my head at him and go into lecture that he is more concerned with score and winning. Rather than playing the course he is focused on another player in the group that just birdied. He is 1 over par at this point and is worried about the other kid and winning or losing. He goes on to bogey the next two holes. Swing changes (starts swing harder), attitude changed, and more pouting and whining comes with it. What do you do? I know my kid and it is basically getting him to the side and yelling at him to get over it. Kind of waking him up a little bit to show him what he is doing to himself after the two holes.



    I honestly don't care if my kid shoots 100. I want him to be a gentleman on the course. I think sometimes kids, I know mine does, thinks that I will think less of him if he doesn't play well. I could honestly care less. The only thing that I care about is him respecting the game, respecting his opponents, being honest, and carrying himself like a gentleman. You win with class and you lose with class.



    As I have watched kids play this game, it seems that the kids that are better are very rough on themselves. Back when they were learning, they don't care if they make a quadruple bogey. As they get better they are mad when they make bogey, or don't play well. It is weird.




    HA! Mine is your second description as well. He has a five second rule where he can be mad, frustrated or whatever he's feeling and then he has to move on to the next shot. Definitely no stomping, throwing clubs, slamming clubs, etc though... that's grounds for being taken off the course mid round.




    Mine doesn't throw or slam clubs. The stomping is something new. He takes his putter and will pound it into the ground similar to tapping down a ball mark, but harder. I honestly don't have a problem with him stomping his feet or the putter pound. He has to release that emotion somewhere. It isn't good to hold the emotion in either. I think I am going to make him start wearing a rubber band on his wrist. Whenever he gets mad he has to snap it.




    Heavy...don't know if this helps but I had a similar problem with my son. After way to many conversations about it, he lost his cool after getting a par on a very difficult par 3. he missed the 20' putt for birdie. I finally had enough and put the clubs up for a month. I literally took them out of the car and he watched me put them in the attic. Problem solved. I can understand getting upset after a bad hole but to get furious over a par was too much for me.
  • Forged4everForged4ever Putting is 98%+ Mental..... ClubWRX Posts: 15,593 ClubWRX
    edited Feb 28, 2017 #29
    Yanki01 wrote:


    I didn't play much tournament golf when i was a kid but i remember when i was playing baseball or football, my parents wouldn't sit in the stands. they'd park the truck in the outfield and sit there to get away from the crazy parents. parents try to live through their kids too much.
    My Parents did the very same thing with my Jr & Senior HS football. Parents are the reason that I got out of youth coaching. I served as an asst. ILB coach during spring & fall ball(3 a days) for 7 seasons for the University of Pittsburgh, though I much more enjoyed working with and coaching the lil guys, ages 8-12yo.



    The parents, specifically the fathers, ruined it. I actually had this fat little five foot nothin(actually about 5'-5"-5'6") punk hit his 10yo son hard enough with a forearm that he knocked him down supposedly to "toughen him up(the little boy did not want to be out there and I did my best to shield him from the older boys, as this was a 10-12yo division) and I in turn dropped him and got suspended for the rest of the season. He was going to file charges however the local Police Chief has known me since I was 20-21yo(this was in 2011) and so he told the guy that if he pursued any type of charges, criminal or civil, that he would have Youth Services so involved in his life that he would know em better than he knew his wife by the time that they were finished.



    The sad thing??



    He wasn't close to the worst father, lol



    I cannot watch those short game videos/shows



    What I've seen at my range and at the club is as bad and worse than what I saw on a football field.



    It really physically nauseates me-



    They are Children...



    WTF??



    I wish you and your children the very best image/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />



    Fairways & Greens 4ever My Friend⛳️

    RP
    Post edited by Unknown User on
    In the end, only three things matter~ <br /><br />How much that you loved...<br /><br />How mightily that you lived...<br /><br />How gracefully that you accepted both victory & defeat...<br /><br /><br /><br />GHIN: Beefeater 24
  • Forged4everForged4ever Putting is 98%+ Mental..... ClubWRX Posts: 15,593 ClubWRX
    edited Feb 27, 2017 #30


    leezer99 wrote:




    I will never enroll my kids in the US kids Tournaments again. Our first year was just a disaster to the point when my boy asked me "Daddy, why are these parents make their little children cry all the time, it's just a game, right?" Having 7-9 yr old go thru this is not cool.

    This barrage of screams have long term effect on the kids self-esteem.

    The league should deal with these overbearing parents. Our kids should not be a mean for our future retirement..$$.




    There are two kinds of kids that cry on the course.



    1. The parent that makes the kid cry. Yelling at them about swing, score, etc. This is the parent that wants their kid to be the next Tiger Woods at 9 years old.



    2. The kid that has high expectations, doesn't like what they just did, and doesn't understand how to emotionally handle it. The emotion can come out as anger, pouting, whining, and crying. This isn't about golf golf at all, but handling the emotions and being able to still compete.



    Number 2 is where I am at. My kid walks off number 11 in a tournament yesterday and just made par. He is angered that he just made par on a hole. Stomps his feet and pounds his putter in the ground. Starts pouting. I am shaking my head at him and go into lecture that he is more concerned with score and winning. Rather than playing the course he is focused on another player in the group that just birdied. He is 1 over par at this point and is worried about the other kid and winning or losing. He goes on to bogey the next two holes. Swing changes (starts swing harder), attitude changed, and more pouting and whining comes with it. What do you do? I know my kid and it is basically getting him to the side and yelling at him to get over it. Kind of waking him up a little bit to show him what he is doing to himself after the two holes.



    I honestly don't care if my kid shoots 100. I want him to be a gentleman on the course. I think sometimes kids, I know mine does, thinks that I will think less of him if he doesn't play well. I could honestly care less. The only thing that I care about is him respecting the game, respecting his opponents, being honest, and carrying himself like a gentleman. You win with class and you lose with class.



    As I have watched kids play this game, it seems that the kids that are better are very rough on themselves. Back when they were learning, they don't care if they make a quadruple bogey. As they get better they are mad when they make bogey, or don't play well. It is weird.




    HA! Mine is your second description as well. He has a five second rule where he can be mad, frustrated or whatever he's feeling and then he has to move on to the next shot. Definitely no stomping, throwing clubs, slamming clubs, etc though... that's grounds for being taken off the course mid round.




    Mine doesn't throw or slam clubs. The stomping is something new. He takes his putter and will pound it into the ground similar to tapping down a ball mark, but harder. I honestly don't have a problem with him stomping his feet or the putter pound. He has to release that emotion somewhere. It isn't good to hold the emotion in either. I think I am going to make him start wearing a rubber band on his wrist. Whenever he gets mad he has to snap it.




    Heavy...don't know if this helps but I had a similar problem with my son. After way to many conversations about it, he lost his cool after getting a par on a very difficult par 3. he missed the 20' putt for birdie. I finally had enough and put the clubs up for a month. I literally took them out of the car and he watched me put them in the attic. Problem solved. I can understand getting upset after a bad hole but to get furious over a par was too much for me.
    It was 1971 and I was 10yo and playing in the 10-12yo division for WVa Pee-Wee Championship and had a 1 stroke lead going into 18 and I four putted and lost by one. Upon tapping in a prior 4' lip-out, I spun, walked back to my bag, lifted it, slammed my putter into it, threw my bag over my shoulder and walked toward the scorer's table and my Grandmother(5 time Womens' State Amateur Champion

    & a USGA district officer along with being a rules official, lol) was waiting for me. She had a glare that could melt metal and that glare was fixed on me. I had always been a good sport and really, this is the first time that she would later tell me that she noticed any kind of temper on the course. To this day, I have never thrown or broken a club.



    So she walks away from the table and one of the Lady Members who was basically a walking scorer for us went over our cards, we signed them and I then went and got my runner-up trophy, which I proceeded to drop into the trash can up where the valets sat who parked the cars, lol. My Grandmother was waiting for me at the car and she said nothing the whole ride home or that evening at dinner. The next morning I went to get my bag out of the trunk to wash my clubs and when I opened it....



    No bag, no clubs.



    I went inside and asked my Grandmother where my clubs were and she said that I wouldn't be needing them for the rest of the season(it was July) and she had put them away. I would not get them back until July 1, 1971, lol. My Grandmother was a stickler for manners and etiquette and I had done two things upon completing my round-



    1) I did not walk over and shake my FC's hand and offer him congratulations on his victory-

    2) I slammed the club into my bag.



    Extreme?



    Possibly, though it made a lasting impression and while I definitely have slammed clubs into my bag since, I have never failed to shake hands with my FC following the round.



    Have a nice week Gals & Gents image/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />



    My Best,

    RP
    In the end, only three things matter~ <br /><br />How much that you loved...<br /><br />How mightily that you lived...<br /><br />How gracefully that you accepted both victory & defeat...<br /><br /><br /><br />GHIN: Beefeater 24
  • gsea33gsea33 Members Posts: 667 ✭✭

    Yanki01 wrote:


    I didn't play much tournament golf when i was a kid but i remember when i was playing baseball or football, my parents wouldn't sit in the stands. they'd park the truck in the outfield and sit there to get away from the crazy parents. parents try to live through their kids too much.
    My Parents did the very same thing with my Jr & Senior HS football. Parents are the reason that I got out of youth coaching. I served as an asst. ILB coach during spring & fall ball(3 a days) for 7 seasons for the University of Pittsburgh, though I much more enjoyed working with and coaching the lil guys, ages 8-12yo.



    The parents, specifically the fathers, ruined it. I actually had this fat little five foot nothin(actually about 5'-5"-5'6") punk hit his 10yo son hard enough with a forearm that he knocked him down supposedly to "toughen him up(the little boy did not want to be out there and I did my best to shield him from the older boys, as this was a 10-12yo division) and I in turn dropped him and got suspended for the rest of the season. He was going to file charges however the local Police Chief has known since I was 20-21 years old(this was in 2011) and so he told the guy that if he pursues any type of charges, criminal or civil, that he would have Youth Services so involved in his life that he would know em better than he knew his wife by the time that they were finished.



    The sad thing??



    He wasn't close to the worst father, lol



    I cannot watch those short game videos/shows



    What I've seen at my range and at the club is as bad and worse than what I saw on a football field.



    I really physically nauseates me-



    I wish you and your children the very best image/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />



    Fairways & Greens 4ever My Friend⛳️

    RP




    so your 6'+ ex ball player and you drop someone 5'6" dam impressive. all u did was **** the father off more and guess who had to go home with him.

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