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How would YOU deal with this guy ?


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We have a daily game of 10 to 25 mostly older fellows. We play a team game. Each player counts him score each hole, lowest score goes on the card. Different partners most every day so I don't get him every day. This guy and I go back many years. He was a good player . Got along OK but when I started beating him on a regular basis, he became very condescending to me. It showed up more when he was playing bad, which he does a lot anymore. He's literly shouted at me several times in the past,. I usually just turn the other cheek or tell him I hope he gets feeling better soon.. He'll comment on my bad shots, missed putts etc , generally making light of things I might say. Mind you, he's mostly OK if he's playing well. Only have to put up with his bragging then. lol. Today he jumped on me for asking if we had a par down before I putted for a birdie.. It was on the last hole and I'd had enough so I barked back. . Most of the guys know the history between him and I but I hate to have a shout down in front of the guys. Even though I know I'm in the right, I think it's rude to do this. How would you fellows handle this. I'm not going to whip his azz so don't tell me that.

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I don't like to spend time with people I don't like to spend time with. But if I have to, I am real direct and I call a guy out in public - no anger, just facts. Let the group make up its own decision. But my goal is to make this person not like to be around me if they are not going to change.

 

But I have to really not have other options (like another group) because doing this is no fun at all. I'd personally rather play alone.

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Put the needle to him. When you play with him ride him about whatever. He will shut up. People like that don't like it when the tide is turned.I played with a guy like this and I put it to him in a nice quiet style. If he gets mad after a few times of this tell him, " You don't need to be so sensitive " and smile when you do it. A well place needle can shut him up for the day. I know he is your partner for the day, but when he acts like a As#h*l@ he brings the whole group down.

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Put the needle to him. When you play with him ride him about whatever. He will shut up. People like that don't like it when the tide is turned.I played with a guy like this and I put it to him in a nice quiet style. If he gets mad after a few times of this tell him, " You don't need to be so sensitive " and smile when you do it. A well place needle can shut him up for the day. I know he is your partner for the day, but when he acts like a As#h*l@ he brings the whole group down.

 

I like this. Turn the tables.

 

"My goodness, in all our years playing together, I don't think I've ever seen you hit it this bad", or maybe, "if you spent a little less time worrying about your partner maybe you could actually help him a little".

 

In all actuality, I'd like to say something but really am pretty quiet, probably would just suffer in silence.


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donkey punch to the ovary. :)

 

you should do something different or you will always be on the receiving end of this.

doesn't have to be confrontational. if you prefer to do it in private, just a quick word that some of his comments are not appreciated and could be taken as offensive. if public shaming, plenty of good suggestions.

 

life is too short to have bad feelings during our leisure activities.

unless you get paid to play with him.

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People like that typically want to have someone respond to them in a negative way, they want the confrontation so that they can focus themselves on something other than their shite game.

 

If he doesn't acknowledge being an idiot, just ignore everything spoken from his mouth as if he didn't even exist, walk right past him, etc.. No reply is stronger than a reaction, he wants someone to feed into the bottom feeder section with him.

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Sometimes the best thing you can do is say aloud exactly what has been going on the way you did here right to his face. Call him out on his actions and ask him why he chooses to act a certain way when he's losing vs. when he winning. Do it calmly but sternly and in front of other people the next time he chooses to be a turd.

 

At that point it doesn't really matter what his reaction is, good or bad. The behavior has at that point been called out and he'll probably be less likely to do it again without feeling stupid.

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Try something contrary to all this tough guy t**-for-tat talk . . .

 

Give him a hug and offer him some warm words of compassion and encouragement. Underneath it all there's a hurt little boy that calling out for something more than another unkind kick in the nuts.

 

Sounds nice. Sometimes this works but with old guys, not so much and you pay a price doing it unless you're really genuine in your compassion.

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If their is one thing the condescending folks can't stand it's light-hearted laughter at their remarks. Remember, don't wrestle with midgets water rolls off a duck's back and next time make the damn putt!

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Thanks everyone for the Very good comments about my problem guy. It sounds like and I'm sure, everyone has dealt with guys like this. I've tried ignoring him but he'll be nice for awhile (hours not weeks) and then, koboom, the jerk comes out. I do not want to cause a fuss as nobody wants to see 2 old guys arguing but I'm not good in these confrontational situations. It appears I could/should be more assertive.

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Try something contrary to all this tough guy t**-for-tat talk . . .

 

Give him a hug and offer him some warm words of compassion and encouragement. Underneath it all there's a hurt little boy that calling out for something more than another unkind kick in the nuts.

 

Sounds nice. Sometimes this works but with old guys, not so much and you pay a price doing it unless you're really genuine in your compassion.

 

Agreed. If it can't be sincere, it's probably better to just go all out Kymar on him.

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I still think a sincere hug is worthwhile.

 

If that doesn't work, how about smoking a joint together?

 

This tough talk and preparation for a brawl seems a bit much. Do two grumpy old men really have to go that route? What would Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon do?

 

They'd be a brawling in the parking lot.

 

Fair enough. I never paid enough attention to those films.

 

Then, what would Cheech and Chong do?

 

Or, for the young crowd, what would Harold and Kumar do?

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