Parents, Your kids don't need to be reminded......

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  • jollysammyjollysammy Jollysammy Members Posts: 425
    I remember all the Dads who would scream, yell and get upset at their kids. Nowadays, I'm the only Dad out there watching as those same boys tell their Dads they don't want them there because it ruins their game. So all these Dads have been banned and no longer can watch their 17-18 year olds play golf. Their boys drive themselves to the tournaments and the Dad is no longer necessary except to pay for the tournament. In the end, my greatest satisfaction has been to watch my son fail and succeed. To share all those moments of triumph along with the agony of defeat. He's going off to college next and I won't see him play much anymore, but at least I'll have the memories up to 18 years old and not have missed his game during his 16-18 years like so many other dads I no longer see out there...
  • bladehunterbladehunter Today was a good day.... Members Posts: 25,799 ✭✭
    jollysammy wrote:


    Life is not fair, when your old enough to know how to really talk to women, you're too old. And when they are young and handsome like our boys, they know absolutely nothing about women.




    natures way of controlling population.... if we knew then what we know now we would have had 5 kids by 21....lol
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  • warrio17warrio17 Members Posts: 369 ✭✭
    Well said. My son is 4 and beginning to play. I need to keep this in mind.
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  • hangontighthangontight Members Posts: 543 ✭✭
    edited Jul 28, 2018 #35
    Was practicing with my son around green yesterday evening and a dad with his daughter, ime guessing she was 10 or so was doing the same. He was berating her on every putt and chip. Just aweful. You could see the look on her face that she would rather be somewhere other than here. Classic example. Anyway, I almost walked over and suggested she play a quick putting match with my son so I could pull the dad aside and politely tell him how rediculous he sounded (and maybe reccomed he read “Dont should on your kids”, ya!). I am one to mind my own business and by no means an expert , but I truly believe he would be shocked if he could hear himself and realize that he is ruining any chance of his daughter sticking with the game long term. Most of us have had our own tigerdad spells, my wife was always quick to remind me to chill. We’ve seen them there before, I am thinking of a tactful way to say something next time, I feel really bad for the girl.



    Anyway, anyone ever step in and give another golf parent unsolicited advice? What reaction did you get?
  • vanillafunk616vanillafunk616 Members Posts: 552 ✭✭
    Yeah I often hear dads on the range who just go on these hour long monologues about swing thoughts. After every shot they give them ten things to work on. Then they get progressively angrier when the kid doesn't immediately show improvement. "I just told you keep your head down". It gives me PTSD to being a kid like that. I really want to take the parent aside but that really isn't my place. If you are one of those parents 1)you aren't helping, in fact your "teaching style" is making the hardest sport in the world harder 2) your swing advice sucks and you have no idea what you're talking about 3) you're ruining the fun of the game 4) everyone around you thinks you're a jack***.
  • BertGABertGA Members Posts: 277 ✭✭
    edited Jul 28, 2018 #37


    Was practicing with my son around green yesterday evening and a dad with his daughter, ime guessing she was 10 or so was doing the same. He was berating her on every putt and chip. Just aweful. You could see the look on her face that she would rather be somewhere other than here. Classic example. Anyway, I almost walked over and suggested she play a quick putting match with my son so I could pull the dad aside and politely tell him how rediculous he sounded (and maybe reccomed he read “Dont should on your kids”, ya!). I am one to mind my own business and by no means an expert , but I truly believe he would be shocked if he could hear himself and realize that he is ruining any chance of his daughter sticking with the game long term. Most of us have had our own tigerdad spells, my wife was always quick to remind me to chill. We’ve seen them there before, I am thinking of a tactful way to say something next time, I feel really bad for the girl.



    Anyway, anyone ever step in and give another golf parent unsolicited advice? What reaction did you get?




    I’ve received one of those talks. But it only came after I approached another gentleman, asked him about his putting drills. As we chatted, he mentioned I was being a bit tough. That’s when I started reading this forum, picked up some books, etc.



    I’m different now, and I get out more with groups. I’ve often heard “I see you out there with your daughter.” I’m sure many of them want to follow that up with “ you should take it easy on her.” It helped me out, but beware it is similar to telling someone on the street how to parent. Tread cautiously, or don’t tread at all if you don’t know that person.



    Best thing I can say, just model the right behavior with your son. If that dad really cares about teaching his daughter, he should be watching other people in the course to learn from them. Could also be a little added stress, this is DCP season. When I got my intervention last year, was two days before sub regionals. I talked to that man the following week, thanked him for his advice, but did tell him where my head was at. Her putting is what got her through to regionals, possibly in spite of me.
  • Tannerbug33Tannerbug33 Members Posts: 125 ✭✭
    BertGA wrote:



    Was practicing with my son around green yesterday evening and a dad with his daughter, ime guessing she was 10 or so was doing the same. He was berating her on every putt and chip. Just aweful. You could see the look on her face that she would rather be somewhere other than here. Classic example. Anyway, I almost walked over and suggested she play a quick putting match with my son so I could pull the dad aside and politely tell him how rediculous he sounded (and maybe reccomed he read “Dont should on your kids”, ya!). I am one to mind my own business and by no means an expert , but I truly believe he would be shocked if he could hear himself and realize that he is ruining any chance of his daughter sticking with the game long term. Most of us have had our own tigerdad spells, my wife was always quick to remind me to chill. We’ve seen them there before, I am thinking of a tactful way to say something next time, I feel really bad for the girl.



    Anyway, anyone ever step in and give another golf parent unsolicited advice? What reaction did you get?




    I’ve received one of those talks. But it only came after I approached another gentleman, asked him about his putting drills. As we chatted, he mentioned I was being a bit tough. That’s when I started reading this forum, picked up some books, etc.



    I’m different now, and I get out more with groups. I’ve often heard “I see you out there with your daughter.” I’m sure many of them want to follow that up with “ you should take it easy on her.” It helped me out, but beware it is similar to telling someone on the street how to parent. Tread cautiously, or don’t tread at all if you don’t know that person.




    What books have you read.

    I like to let my son work trough his own problems by asking what he did wrong. I believe it helps in the long run. But it is still very hard on me to watch and keep quiet sometimes.

    I'm hoping as he gets older he he makes more friends in the golfing world. Friendly competition with kids his age is alot more fun then playing with dad
  • BertGABertGA Members Posts: 277 ✭✭
    edited Jul 28, 2018 #39
    Started out by reading several of the threads here, which were the initial enlightenment. Currently on “Don’t should on...” have read “Changing the Game”, not as good as “Don’t”. Did a PCT course I think as part of USKids local tour registration. Beyond that, I learned from seeing similar behaviors in others, talking to my dad three about what isn’t working, and looking at my own game. I have intentions about all kinds of outcomes when I swing. They don’t slways happen. Just because my junior doesn’t perform exactly what I am trying to t school doesn’t mean they aren’t trying.



    http://www.golfwrx.com/forums/topic/1579370-great-article-for-junior-golf-parents/



    My daughter is 9, I feel like just this year she has been taking more control over her game. She understands the consequence of misses, and is taking more ownership of her training.



    Started out by reading several of the threads here, which were the initial enlightenment. Currently on “Don’t should on...” have read “Changing the Game”, not as good as “Don’t”. Did a PCT course I think as part of USKids local tour registration. Beyond that, I learned from seeing similar behaviors in others, talking to my dad three about what isn’t working, and looking at my own game. I have intentions about all kinds of outcomes when I swing. They don’t slways happen. Just because my junior doesn’t perform exactly what I am trying to t school doesn’t mean they aren’t trying.



    My daughter is 9, I feel like just this year she has been taking more control over her game. She understands the consequence of misses, and is taking more ownership of her training.
    Post edited by Unknown User on
  • BertGABertGA Members Posts: 277 ✭✭
    leezer99 wrote:


    I'm still waiting for those royalties to start rolling in for 'Don't Should...'.



    For anyone interested I'm reading 'Talent is Overrated' right now. I wouldn't recommend it but I'm grinding it out hoping for a gem to unearth itself.




    Can’t rest on your laurels. You’ll have to read probably 4 more before you hit gold again. We are all waiting for the next offering on the Leezer book club. Hopefully in time for the winter offseason.
  • vanillafunk616vanillafunk616 Members Posts: 552 ✭✭
    Or conversely you could yell "I told you keep your head down!" after every shot.
  • TigerMomTigerMom Members Posts: 215 ✭✭
    Soft parents yield soft kids 100% of the time
  • BertGABertGA Members Posts: 277 ✭✭
    TigerMom wrote:


    Soft parents yield soft kids 100% of the time




    Or perhaps strict parents yield resentful, rebellious kids?
  • TigerMomTigerMom Members Posts: 215 ✭✭
    BertGA wrote:

    TigerMom wrote:


    Soft parents yield soft kids 100% of the time




    Or perhaps strict parents yield resentful, rebellious kids?




    Only if you are looking at the history of the greatest generation parents raising entitled boomer brats



    Boomers have spoiled their millennial kids and we see what the result is there
  • NEhomerNEhomer Members Posts: 203
    Years back my son had a terrible coach. I was there one day by the 7th tee when my son and his foursome were just arriving at the tee. I had no intention of saying anything at all. Then, coach comes by in his cart and sees that a parent is watching so he stops and proceeds to put each kid through "instruction" on the tee so that he could show me what a great coach we was. Poor kids didn't have a chance of hitting a good shot.



    My boy was last and while coach was harassing another kid I looked over at him and quietly said "smile." He said what? I said smile and I just gave him a big smile. He knew what I meant and he knew to ignore coach at that moment and he piped a good shot.



    Sorry for veering a bit off topic but adults often suck the fun out of sports. I'm a high school teacher and it's frustrating to see someone do a poor job of mentoring young adults. Regardless of wins and losses, a great coach wins every year and a bad coach never wins.



    Great post OP.
  • vanillafunk616vanillafunk616 Members Posts: 552 ✭✭
    TigerMom wrote:

    BertGA wrote:

    TigerMom wrote:


    Soft parents yield soft kids 100% of the time




    Or perhaps strict parents yield resentful, rebellious kids?




    Only if you are looking at the history of the greatest generation parents raising entitled boomer brats



    Boomers have spoiled their millennial kids and we see what the result is there




    Socrates in 470 B.C.-399 B.C. :



    "The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not servants of the households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers."

  • ChipwichChipwich Members Posts: 34 ✭✭
    Dude, if I can't tell my kid he sucks what's the point of playing golf with him or going to his tournaments. Of course, he's never been shy about telling me how much I suck when I blade one over the green or three putt from 15 feet. It's a mutual undertaking to gleefully point out each other's flaws on the golf course.
  • hangontighthangontight Members Posts: 543 ✭✭
    edited Oct 6, 2018 #48
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