Question for guys with golfing wife/GF

KSPKSP Members Posts: 139 ✭✭
edited Sep 12, 2018 in General Golf Talk #1
In a recent article from golf digest (I think), they asked golfers how satisfied they are with their golfing life/setup. Not related to scores, just overall satisfaction with the game. Not surprisingly, single guys were the most satisfied. Not far behind were married guys with non golfing spouse. What shocked me is that golfers with wife/gf who actually played golf had the lowest satisfaction, by far.



It doesn’t make any sense to me. I assumed that having a golfing wife made it a million times easier to get out on the course. I’m married and my wife doesn’t play. I get out a decent amount, but I’m always strategizing ways to make it to the course.



I was just wondering if anybody who has a golfing spouse or knows people who do, could explain why their satisfaction scores were so low.
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  • Joe V.Joe V. Members Posts: 255 ✭✭
    No idea...



    My wife and I play together once a week, which she finds to be enough for her. I play at least one other day a week, maybe more and it's not an issue. We have a vacation coming up at the end of the month, just the two of us and we will play every day.
  • davep043davep043 Members Posts: 3,102 ✭✭
    I'm another one who doesn't understand the results. My wife loves to play just like I do. We go to the club together every Saturday and Sunday, although we probably play in the same group only once or twice a month. When we do play together, we always play a match, I give her 4 strokes a side, and we break pretty much even in the long run. She goes out for Tuesday evening ladies 9, I go out Tuesday evenings. We own a condo in Pinehurst, and we play basically every day we're there. We often make golf a central part of our vacations, including relatively recent trips to Scotland, Ireland, Palm Springs, and Kohler. She encourages me when I get the chance to take golf trips with my golfing buddies. I can't imagine I'd play nearly this much golf if she wasn't as avid about the game.



    Maybe that's the difference. I know other wives who play some, but some of them generally want to play with their husband, and don't want to play as often. I enjoy playing golf with my wife, but I also like to play with a bunch of guys. If a golfing-wife actually restricts those chances for the husband to play with his buddies, that could lead to dissatisfaction.
  • golfgirlrobingolfgirlrobin Members Posts: 2,310 ✭✭
    I don’t think that a lot of guys really like their wives enough to want to spend a big chunk of their spare time with them.



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  • MtlJeffMtlJeff MontrealMembers Posts: 28,374 ✭✭
    I've played with my wife a few times and it was a lot of fun.



    My guess is because golf happens to also be a way to spend time with friends. Everyone needs some personal time even if you like your spouse. I'd happily play golf with my wife, but would probably want to do other things without her. Maybe flag football or something



    I don't think it's healthy to be together 24/7 and for many golf is an outlet
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  • larrybudlarrybud Members Posts: 11,230 ✭✭
    My wife plays around 9 holes a week. I love playing with her, and wish she would play more, but I can also play any time I want. She does her things, I do my things.
  • Razorback84Razorback84 Member Members Posts: 110
    My wife plays as well. I enjoy getting to spend time with her on the course when we can. We both live busy lives with both of us working. She is a school teacher and a High School Volleyball coach, so we don't get to spend just a ton of quality time together off work.... we also have a 2 year old. So with that being said we try to play together about once a month. The other times I go out and play, its with the guys.



    One small detail is she can get frustrated out on the course if its a bad round.... Those days aren't the funnest, but for the most part I enjoy it.
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  • Golfer4LifeGolfer4Life “Don’t bother me with your pettiness” Lake Placid, N.Y. Whiteface G.C.ClubWRX Posts: 2,327 ✭✭
    The first rule of Fight Club, never get your wife in your extra curricular activities, lol....My wife doesn’t golf and I love her more for it. That’s my time to relax and to spend time with my friends, and she gets it. We do many things together, so it is a good deal.
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  • me05501me05501 Members Posts: 412
    My wife doesn't play.



    I think it would be very different having her along. There's a good chance I would play smarter and be more realistic about my game. Might not be the worst thing.
  • BaitkillerBaitkiller Members Posts: 1,713 ✭✭
    Taught the old girlfriend to play. SDhe enjoyed it and excelled at it actually. The biggest mistake was setting the precedent of paying for both of us. This is a round of golf. Not a date. Got old quick. Best t1ts ever though.
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  • third-times-a-charmthird-times-a-charm Members Posts: 1,499 ✭✭
    I love it. My wife loves it as well. We also play with our friends separately.



    I never understand guys who treat golf or anything else like their little boys treehouse club. My wife and I clearly communicate when we want to do things together and when we dont and there are no issues either way when we are together or separate.
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  • davep043davep043 Members Posts: 3,102 ✭✭


    I love it. My wife loves it as well. We also play with our friends separately.



    I never understand guys who treat golf or anything else like their little boys treehouse club. My wife and I clearly communicate when we want to do things together and when we dont and there are no issues either way when we are together or separate.


    I think if the wife insists on playing with the husband every time she plays, that could cause friction. Like you, we each have times when we'll choose to play with a specific group, and the other finds their own game. We do try to coordinate times, so we can drive out and back together.

    I've certainly seen plenty of guys who want act act like buffoons on the golf course, drinking, swearing, hitting on the bev cart girl. For them, having their wife with them would certainly diminish their "fun". I can't say I have a whole lot of sympathy for those guys.
  • vinprun71vinprun71 ConnecticutMembers Posts: 74 ✭✭
    My wife doesn't play golf nor enjoys watching. I'm in the camp of wishing she did. I'd love to spend time with her on the course. I'd get to enjoy more golf plus not lose any quality time with her that I sacrifice. I'd probably get more 18 hole rounds in per season if she did play.
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  • 0351Duffer0351Duffer Members Posts: 126 ✭✭
    My wife took up golf last spring when I got back into the game myself. I'd say I play 8 out of 10 of my rounds with her and we have a lot of fun with it.



    Initially... there was a learning curve, She used me as a caddie/coach and always asked me questions, but sometimes she would "T-Rex" me when she hit a bad shot and I offered a critique of something. So we found a level of interaction that works and it's been good since then.



    I offer this , because I think being happy playing golf with a spouse or GF is about what you see your time on the course as. For some men I think it's an escape, and me time, a time with drinking buddies etc... and even though they could, they chose not to spend that time with a GF or spouse.



    I love my wife and enjoy any time I spend with her, so being able to golf together is icing on the cake for me.
  • WestTexWestTex Members Posts: 147 ✭✭
    My wife is my best friend, and we've been through a ton together. We met in the Army and now work in the same office. Our office mates golf too and we're known as the team to beat because she is VERY good. Only been playing three years and she floors guys when she plays and tells them how new she is to the game. But she's always been "one of the guys" in her life so I'm completely ok with it. Like others we schedule vacations around golf and I never have to ask if she wants to play, she's obsessed like I am.



    Just got lucky I guess, got a playing partner for life. I don't judge others who need to be away or want more time, it all depends on your own comfort level. It's a game, and supposed to be enjoyed.
  • Hawkeye77Hawkeye77 Countdown to The Masters! ClubWRX Posts: 17,721 ClubWRX
    My wife enjoys playing, her greatest golf memory is now a birdie she made on The Old Course in June, but she doesn't enjoy playing or "love" it to the extent that I do. So I play a lot more golf but we find time to play together and frankly need to make more time.
  • darbs94darbs94 Members Posts: 8
    My ex girlfriend was really passionate about golf but absolutely terrible at it. I made the mistake of playing a round of golf with her and she almost murdered me with a couple of shanks and mis-hits. The round lasted forever because it would take her 5 shots just to reach a par 4. I told myself that was the last time i would play golf with her. We broke up later on (for other reasons) and it definitely worked out for the best lol.



    I would be open to playing golf with a future girlfriend, but she would have to at least be competent (not shanking it every other time) for me to play with her.
  • vanillafunk616vanillafunk616 Members Posts: 552 ✭✭
    Well I mean the divorce rate is what 50% now?
  • DavePelz4DavePelz4 A golf course in the Chicago area.ClubWRX Posts: 24,340 ClubWRX
    edited Sep 12, 2018 #19
    davep043 wrote:


    I'm another one who doesn't understand the results. My wife loves to play just like I do. We go to the club together every Saturday and Sunday, although we probably play in the same group only once or twice a month. When we do play together, we always play a match, I give her 4 strokes a side, and we break pretty much even in the long run. She goes out for Tuesday evening ladies 9, I go out Tuesday evenings. We own a condo in Pinehurst, and we play basically every day we're there. We often make golf a central part of our vacations, including relatively recent trips to Scotland, Ireland, Palm Springs, and Kohler. She encourages me when I get the chance to take golf trips with my golfing buddies. I can't imagine I'd play nearly this much golf if she wasn't as avid about the game.



    Maybe that's the difference. I know other wives who play some, but some of them generally want to play with their husband, and don't want to play as often. I enjoy playing golf with my wife, but I also like to play with a bunch of guys. If a golfing-wife actually restricts those chances for the husband to play with his buddies, that could lead to dissatisfaction.




    Gotta pic of her Sis? Asking for a friend.
  • BNGLBNGL Members Posts: 1,608 ✭✭
    Id think it is more that some people like to destress on the course, and it serves as an escape from the spouse so if the spouse goes she is encroaching on the mens group and yada yada...



    My girlfriend plays professionally, and I enjoy playing and practicing with her. It is nice to be able to just go play and not have to worry about strokes (on the course anyways...). We have taken trips before just for golf, and we typically always bring the clubs just incase we can sneak a round in somewhere. We just like golf
  • From_Parts_UnknownFrom_Parts_Unknown Members Posts: 1,803 ✭✭
    edited Sep 12, 2018 #21
    I went to the golf course once with my wife/girlfriend. That's the last time I ever go anywhere together with those two. They fought like cats and dogs.
  • gatorMDgatorMD Hacker-in-Chief ClubWRX Posts: 4,564 ClubWRX
    KSP wrote:


    In a recent article from golf digest (I think), they asked golfers how satisfied they are with their golfing life/setup. Not related to scores, just overall satisfaction with the game. Not surprisingly, single guys were the most satisfied. Not far behind were married guys with non golfing spouse. What shocked me is that golfers with wife/gf who actually played golf had the lowest satisfaction, by far.



    It doesn’t make any sense to me. I assumed that having a golfing wife made it a million times easier to get out on the course. I’m married and my wife doesn’t play. I get out a decent amount, but I’m always strategizing ways to make it to the course.



    I was just wondering if anybody who has a golfing spouse or knows people who do, could explain why their satisfaction scores were so low.




    DO NOT golf with the wife/GF/etc. Golf is ME time. I do tons of other random things with the ball and chain, leave me and my golf alone.
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  • davep043davep043 Members Posts: 3,102 ✭✭
    DavePelz4 wrote:

    davep043 wrote:


    I'm another one who doesn't understand the results. My wife loves to play just like I do. We go to the club together every Saturday and Sunday, although we probably play in the same group only once or twice a month. When we do play together, we always play a match, I give her 4 strokes a side, and we break pretty much even in the long run. She goes out for Tuesday evening ladies 9, I go out Tuesday evenings. We own a condo in Pinehurst, and we play basically every day we're there. We often make golf a central part of our vacations, including relatively recent trips to Scotland, Ireland, Palm Springs, and Kohler. She encourages me when I get the chance to take golf trips with my golfing buddies. I can't imagine I'd play nearly this much golf if she wasn't as avid about the game.



    Maybe that's the difference. I know other wives who play some, but some of them generally want to play with their husband, and don't want to play as often. I enjoy playing golf with my wife, but I also like to play with a bunch of guys. If a golfing-wife actually restricts those chances for the husband to play with his buddies, that could lead to dissatisfaction.




    Gotta pic of her Sis? Asking for a friend.


    Sorry, no sisters, just one brother. And he doesn't play golf.


    gatorMD wrote:






    DO NOT golf with the wife/GF/etc. Golf is ME time. I do tons of other random things with the ball and chain, leave me and my golf alone.


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  • sdandreasdandrea Steve Members Posts: 2,354 ✭✭
    I get a LOT more golf in because SWMBO is a golfer. She's in 2 ladies leagues, so I can get wile she's golfing and we're in two couples leagues. We play together at least once/week and we play separately about 3 more times/week.
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  • howellhandmadehowellhandmade Members Posts: 736 ✭✭
    Oddly enough, I started golfing again after a hiatus of 15 years because my wife suggested that it might be something we could do together. She rather underestimated the difficulty of the game, though, and we have a better time when we play in a foursome with another couple. When it's just me she sometimes can get a little . . . dark. Like Cthulhu entering the mortal plane dark.
  • FergusonFerguson Members Posts: 4,701 ✭✭
    The guys they questioned in the survey could be having marital problems.
  • dcmidnightdcmidnight Marshals, BST Volunteer Mods Posts: 11,710 mod
    davep043 wrote:


    I'm another one who doesn't understand the results. My wife loves to play just like I do. We go to the club together every Saturday and Sunday, although we probably play in the same group only once or twice a month. When we do play together, we always play a match, I give her 4 strokes a side, and we break pretty much even in the long run. She goes out for Tuesday evening ladies 9, I go out Tuesday evenings. We own a condo in Pinehurst, and we play basically every day we're there. We often make golf a central part of our vacations, including relatively recent trips to Scotland, Ireland, Palm Springs, and Kohler. She encourages me when I get the chance to take golf trips with my golfing buddies. I can't imagine I'd play nearly this much golf if she wasn't as avid about the game.



    Maybe that's the difference. I know other wives who play some, but some of them generally want to play with their husband, and don't want to play as often. I enjoy playing golf with my wife, but I also like to play with a bunch of guys. If a golfing-wife actually restricts those chances for the husband to play with his buddies, that could lead to dissatisfaction.




    Sounds like me. We joined a club bc my wife wanted to play more. I still get out 3-4x a week and she plays maybe 2-3x a month. Our vacations are mostly golf trips like yours - or fishing trips because she loves to fish too. But she doesnt want to go *every* time I play and she encouraged me to go to Scotland with my friends. This poll made no sense to me.


    Ferguson wrote:


    The guys they questioned in the survey could be having marital problems.




    Actually *now* the poll makes sense to me.
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  • NCgolf135NCgolf135 Members Posts: 48 ✭✭
    davep043 wrote:



    I love it. My wife loves it as well. We also play with our friends separately.



    I never understand guys who treat golf or anything else like their little boys treehouse club. My wife and I clearly communicate when we want to do things together and when we dont and there are no issues either way when we are together or separate.


    I think if the wife insists on playing with the husband every time she plays, that could cause friction. Like you, we each have times when we'll choose to play with a specific group, and the other finds their own game. We do try to coordinate times, so we can drive out and back together.

    I've certainly seen plenty of guys who want act act like buffoons on the golf course, drinking, swearing, hitting on the bev cart girl. For them, having their wife with them would certainly diminish their "fun". I can't say I have a whole lot of sympathy for those guys.




    My God! Can you imagine someone drinking or swearing on a golf course! Oh the humanity!
  • RoodyRoody You ride her until she bucks you or don't ride at all Members Posts: 1,056 ✭✭
    I enjoy playing with my wife, and I have been trying to get her out to play more. She hurt her back a couple months ago, so she likely won't be getting out to play until next season at the earliest.



    That said, there is one tiny downside to playing golf with her. Whenever I've played with her I've noticed I don't shoot as well. And I think it's because I am not as focused on my own game, and spend a lot of energy making sure she's enjoying herself. Which is a me problem, not hers. She gets a little stressed if she feels like she's holding everyone up, and in turn I try to assure her not to worry about it, etc.



    I think she'd be less stressed if she starts playing golf on a more regular basis, and gets used to the ebbs and flows of a round. I'm hoping she'll join the women's league at our club next year.



    But I also get the whole wanting to get away from the wife and play golf with your buddies. I love getting together with the guys, playing competitively for a few bucks, and having a beer/cigar after the round. There has to be a balance.
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  • deadsolid...shankdeadsolid...shank ClubWRX Posts: 14,671 ClubWRX
    My wife basically hates everything about the game. So I really don’t expect her to join me anytime in the near future.
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  • davep043davep043 Members Posts: 3,102 ✭✭
    NCgolf135 wrote:

    davep043 wrote:



    I love it. My wife loves it as well. We also play with our friends separately.



    I never understand guys who treat golf or anything else like their little boys treehouse club. My wife and I clearly communicate when we want to do things together and when we dont and there are no issues either way when we are together or separate.


    I think if the wife insists on playing with the husband every time she plays, that could cause friction. Like you, we each have times when we'll choose to play with a specific group, and the other finds their own game. We do try to coordinate times, so we can drive out and back together.

    I've certainly seen plenty of guys who want act act like buffoons on the golf course, drinking, swearing, hitting on the bev cart girl. For them, having their wife with them would certainly diminish their "fun". I can't say I have a whole lot of sympathy for those guys.




    My God! Can you imagine someone drinking or swearing on a golf course! Oh the humanity!


    LOL, perhaps I phrased that wrong, I drink a little and swear (sometimes a lot) myself. I'm talking about the guys well past 40 who like to behave as if they're 20 year old frat boys on spring break.
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