my Ping G400 Max story....

So, I just got my G400 Max – 9 degree with Tour 65 shaft in a stiff flex.

Today was a crappy day for golf, raining and windy.

First tee I absolutely smoked it down the middle with a nice baby draw, prefect trajectory and ended up about 20 metres further down than I have ever been before. Angels sang – literally they did, like Enya, but I didn’t feel like slashing my wrists. The snake infested swamp running down the right-hand side of the first fairway magically turned into a green meadow. Bambi and Thumper emerged and frolicked across the front of the tee. Suddenly, the clouds parted and I was bathed in a beam of warm sunshine. Sadly, my playing partners had to persist with their umbrellas.

The challenges of each hole evaporated before me as drive after drive was piped up the middle of the fairway with the G400 Max (now dubbed “Excalibur”), all at least 20 metres further than ever. I was three under par through 9 holes.

My playing partners, having long since abandoned their own games, tended to my every need – carrying my bag, filling my divots, clearing my lines and washing my balls (golf balls – I don’t swing that way, but could. I’m looking at you Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Jack Black).

Word of the G400 Max was spreading and by now a gallery, ten deep in places, had appeared out of nowhere. Marshals and rope were needed. All were now entranced by this enigma I was swinging. My playing partners formed a guard of honour as I strode onto each tee to unleash this beast.

As it was teed, amazingly each ball became animated, taking on the appearance of all those who had wronged me in my life – my boss, the wanker that cut me off in traffic three weeks ago, Timmy Smith who dacked me, undies and all down to the ankles in the school tuckshop line in grade 3. Fittingly, Mary Costas who laughed at the size of my boyhood, was next. All now despatched by “Excalibur” – this was cathartic.

Each par 3 magically transformed into a par 4 – just so the G400 Max could be fully let loose again. The crowd chanted “Let the big dog eat!”, I granted their wish. I had groupies – sexually charged nubiles throwing themselves at me, promising to do things to me that there aren’t even names for. I resisted, such was the allure of the G400 Max. There was golf to be played, bad memories to be destroyed and great ones to be made.

Beer tents appeared, full of my favourite brews. Still bathed in sunshine I polished off a schooner at every opportunity. No matter how much I drank it had no effect on me, so I drank more. The smell of roast beef and gravy rolls wafted across the fairways – I ate my fair share of those as well, tender, melt in the mouth, dripping with gravy. Heavenly.

I completed the round with a nice 12 under par, birdies on each hole coming back to the clubhouse. Such was the fervour for the G400 Max I had resorted to using it for every single shot just to keep the gallery appeased.

A magnificent altar had been built behind the 18^th green to accept the Max on completion of my round. Long lines had formed of those wishing to pay homage to the G400 Max. Others performed ritual sacrifices by destroying their drivers before the weapon set before them.

Phil and Tiger arrived to pay their respects. They were turned away. Unworthy, they were escorted out the back door, Phil inconsolable in Tigers arms. I felt for them…

Jack turned up, he spun the Max in his hands, it hummed and spat like Vader’s lightsabre. Energised, he called a press conference and announced his return to competitive golf on the PGA Tour. “I’ll see you bastards at the Safeway” he boomed. As he left the podium a tailor had a tape on him, a 7^th green jacket was a certainty.

This was golfing perfection…..

Wow!!

Best read on Wrx in a while.

So its just ok

Are you sure you couldn’t get a little more out of it if you tweaked the shaft choice a little?

Ok...This was like a Penthouse Column.

Brilliant, best product review I've ever read.

As I was reading this, I thought about the Bishop in Caddyshack with his great round of golf....this was better! :golfer:

Super great read! Thank you!

I feel that way with every new club - until the placebo effect wears off.

Ping didn't tell you?...damn, 13 under and 72 virgins would have appeared. Dude, one stroke off an orgasmic experience.

Very nice writing. I enjoyed the read.

Did you add hot melt? I think mine needs hot melt

No mention of the head cover. Waiting for the sequel.

What is the over/under for when OPs unicorn headlines the BST?

I'm squeezing my hog to this

Now that was funny. You really had me laughing, had to read it twice.

This is about the average amount of love the G400 max deserves.

Call me a skeptic, but I don't believe that Tiger and Phil really turned up at the end of your round.

It’s a shame I can only ‘like’ the post once.

That was some mighty fine wordsmithing sir. Best read on here in a long time.

Who's playing you in the movie?

After reading this I felt a stirring in my loins and needed some fresh air. As I circled the block wearing my usual workout attire - bicycle shorts, mesh tank top, tube socks and fanny pack, my moist glistening musculature got someone’s attention. It was the new mail-lady Minerva. “I have a package for you,” she announced gleefully. I turned around, still semi-engorged and exchanged a sheepish grin with the mail-carrying vixen. “Oh, my,” she purred, “looks like you have a package for me, too.” At 11 inches I always assumed I was about average, but today the look on her face told me otherwise. Blushing, she made her way to the back of her vehicle. “New driver, stud? Stiff shaft, I assume?”

“Extra stiff, baby,” I exclaimed reeking of machismo and Axe body spray, “you already know.”

To be continued...

It moved....

Great story OP. LOL!

Can only dream what your round would have been, had you used a COSTCO K-Sig golf ball,,,,,,,,,

One of the best posts I’ve seen in a long time—great job OP. I bought the G400 irons this season and, along with some swing changes, knocked 6 strokes off my handicap already. Who knows what could happen if I get the G-MAX 400 driver. Can a single digit handicap be far away? It’s not in the budget right now but that’s never stopped me before. It can’t hurt to get fitted and compare numbers with my old K15 driver, which I hit pretty consistently but without all the trumpets and fanfare (and extra yardage down the middle of the fairway) that the G-MAX 400 would surely bring.

Bravo, great review!

Where can I get one. I'll pay big!

Perfect review!! Nice to hear from someone with a good sense of humor.

Man I gotta get me one of these. :D

I'm not a Ping guy, but I'm very seriously ditching TM in favor of Ping for drivers. I think I've fallen out of love with low-spin drivers...