Offering to pay for membership for friend (not a family member)?

Thoughts on this? Noticed the threads mentioning the costs involved. I was wondering how the less well off financially of you would feel if someone offered to buy you membership for your local course? Or anyone's thoughts really. Feedback appreciated. Thanks.

Comments

  • MtlJeffMtlJeff MontrealMembers Posts: 28,356 ✭✭

    Probably depends on too many factors to really answer . Relationship to the person, how rich you are, how less well off they are, different personalities of both people etc...

    If when I was 23 making an entry level salary, I had a buddy who was like an NHL player or internet millionaire, and they wanted to buy me a membership so we can play together I'm sure i would have been fine with it.

    Many other situations maybe I'd be a bit less fine with it, or even be offended by it. So many variables

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  • FergusonFerguson Members Posts: 4,641 ✭✭

    I need some tires on my car - would love to have someone help me out?

  • Hawkeye77Hawkeye77 Countdown to The Masters! ClubWRX Posts: 17,671 ClubWRX
    edited Apr 26, 2019 3:50pm #4

    Who knows in the tangled morass of interpersonal relationships - in general, seems odd.

  • MtlJeffMtlJeff MontrealMembers Posts: 28,356 ✭✭
    edited Apr 26, 2019 4:20pm #5

    @Hawkeye77 said:
    Who knows in the tangled morass of interpersonal relationships - in general, seems odd.

    Shout out on the use of "tangled morass"

    The only thing I want out of my interpersonal relationships is more-a*s.

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  • FergusonFerguson Members Posts: 4,641 ✭✭

    @Hawkeye77 said:
    Who knows in the tangled morass of interpersonal relationships - in general, seems odd.

    I once had a general try to tangle with me a church dance. I said, "no way buddy, sir."

  • IronHitterIronHitter Members Posts: 84 ✭✭

    @Hawkeye77 said:

    Who knows in the tangled morass of interpersonal relationships - in general, seems odd.

    You say that, but in a life you live once and could be dead tomorrow is it really “odd”. Especially when he can’t afford a membership and I can afford one for us both.

    MtlJeff. Good post and understand the points he doesn’t earn enough to justify buying a membership compared to using it towards house, family and living. I personally would be happy if anyone got me a membership (unless they were broke). I’m an easy going person though

  • umassgolferumassgolfer Members Posts: 774 ✭✭

    Not exactly what you're asking for, but I have a buddy who belonged to a private club well before any of the rest of our group could consider it. Their guest policy was something like 30 or 40 guest rounds/year included in dues and then about $100 for guest play thereafter, with per-guest limit of like 10 or 15 rounds per year, but very loosely tracked. And, we were in an area where the real golf season is like 7-8 months a year.

    I assume that's much more generous than a lot of clubs. But - there were 3 or 4 of us who played together regularly since HS. We were mostly weekend afternoon or weekday twilight golfers. He would have us out pretty regularly. If his year's guest rounds were exhausted, he would rarely let us pay him back - since he wanted to play with us and the alternative was him paying to play a course he didn't like as much. Obviously we'd buy him dinner, make him our first +1 whenever we had cool invites, etc.

    I guess what I'm saying is that if the member wants to play with the non-member badly enough, there may be ways other than buying a separate membership to accomplish that goal, unless you're looking to play a ton or not always with each other.

  • DpavsDpavs OverWRX'ed Members Posts: 3,333 ✭✭

    If I was going to do so (big if here) I would probably offer to buy the membership as a loan and ask he pay me back whenever he could... knowing of course that I might not ever see it all.

  • tatertottatertot Members Posts: 4,376 ✭✭

    Tell him you "won" a guest membership in a raffle.

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  • raynorfan1raynorfan1 Members Posts: 3,536 ✭✭

    I did this for a friend several years ago. In the end, it didn't work as hoped because the ancillary costs of membership (food, bar, tournament fees, etc.) were sufficiently out of his price range that he really didn't participate much.

  • DavePelz4DavePelz4 A golf course in the Chicago area.ClubWRX Posts: 24,309 ClubWRX

    No good deed ever goes unpunished.

  • Hawkeye77Hawkeye77 Countdown to The Masters! ClubWRX Posts: 17,671 ClubWRX
    edited Apr 26, 2019 9:01pm #13

    @IronHitter said:
    @Hawkeye77 said:

    Who knows in the tangled morass of interpersonal relationships - in general, seems odd.

    You say that, but in a life you live once and could be dead tomorrow is it really “odd”. Especially when he can’t afford a membership and I can afford one for us both.

    Okay, next time I'll try and guess what answer you want when you ask for "anyone's thoughts" and type the response that you are looking for.

  • BB28403BB28403 Members Posts: 3,586 ✭✭
    edited Apr 27, 2019 12:45am #14

    @Hawkeye77 said:
    Who knows in the tangled morass of interpersonal relationships - in general, seems odd.

    Hawkeye c’mon man. I know we’re close. Help a brother out. Haha

    On a serious note. I’ve helped people out of hard times before. A few times and 9/10 they take advantage of you. I guess it is human nature? Still, it feels good to give .

  • BMCBMC Members Posts: 3,555 ✭✭

    Give it to him on his birthday. It's a gift. Feel good about giving. I admire the OP for his generosity.

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  • @_the_crook@_the_crook Members Posts: 650 ✭✭

    several years back , bought the nephew a season pass so he could play in our permanent tee time group at a local course.
    the rules were that all four players had to pay the sign up fee and had to have either a full unlimited or twenty play deal to get in. myself and the others had the full unlimited which was kind of pricey. the twenty play package allowed him to get out on the weekends with us.
    he was about twenty two and just couldn't manage it - life is short and sometimes you pave the way for others.

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  • carreracarrera Members Posts: 2,548 ✭✭

    I've got to admit, I have been around for a long time and I have never heard of someone buying a membership at a course/club for a friend as described above. Just take him/her as a guest up until you hit the club maximum (and in these days, if you hit that maximum and want to take your friend as a guest - paying guest fees -several more times, most clubs would gladly take your $$$).
    I couldn't imagine buying a membership for a friend...YMMV.

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  • BB28403BB28403 Members Posts: 3,586 ✭✭
    edited Apr 28, 2019 2:26am #18

    @carrera said:
    I've got to admit, I have been around for a long time and I have never heard of someone buying a membership at a course/club for a friend as described above. Just take him/her as a guest up until you hit the club maximum (and in these days, if you hit that maximum and want to take your friend as a guest - paying guest fees -several more times, most clubs would gladly take your $$$).
    I couldn't imagine buying a membership for a friend...YMMV.

    Not to pigeon hole anyone. But I am seeing this a lot with the Millennials. They don’t move out till they are in their 30’s! 😱😱
    Of course there are some who have a good work ethic. I think our country is just harder on people these days. And they weigh their options and think, what the heck?! I’ll stay home!

  • Aaronwilson_95Aaronwilson_95 Members Posts: 828 ✭✭

    If you have a nice relationship with your parents and enjoy their time and don’t see any real reason not to live at home (wife family etc ) I have no personal issues with anyone doing so. I love my parents and gladly would live with them even if I’m paying rent .

    @BB28403 said:

    @carrera said:
    I've got to admit, I have been around for a long time and I have never heard of someone buying a membership at a course/club for a friend as described above. Just take him/her as a guest up until you hit the club maximum (and in these days, if you hit that maximum and want to take your friend as a guest - paying guest fees -several more times, most clubs would gladly take your $$$).
    I couldn't imagine buying a membership for a friend...YMMV.

    Not to pigeon hole anyone. But I am seeing this a lot with the Millennials. They don’t move out till they are in their 30’s! 😱😱
    Of course there are some who have a good work ethic. I think our country is just harder on people these days. And they weigh their options and think, what the heck?! I’ll stay home!

  • Man_O_WarMan_O_War Members Posts: 2,747 ✭✭

    this makes me feel better. I am currently giving my GF 500$ a month as she studies for her license exams. it's pretty much the same. She is a good friend after all (Lol)

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  • KillerPenguinKillerPenguin Members Posts: 567 ✭✭

    @Aaronwilson_95 said:
    If you have a nice relationship with your parents and enjoy their time and don’t see any real reason not to live at home (wife family etc ) I have no personal issues with anyone doing so. I love my parents and gladly would live with them even if I’m paying rent .

    @BB28403 said:

    @carrera said:
    I've got to admit, I have been around for a long time and I have never heard of someone buying a membership at a course/club for a friend as described above. Just take him/her as a guest up until you hit the club maximum (and in these days, if you hit that maximum and want to take your friend as a guest - paying guest fees -several more times, most clubs would gladly take your $$$).
    I couldn't imagine buying a membership for a friend...YMMV.

    Not to pigeon hole anyone. But I am seeing this a lot with the Millennials. They don’t move out till they are in their 30’s! 😱😱
    Of course there are some who have a good work ethic. I think our country is just harder on people these days. And they weigh their options and think, what the heck?! I’ll stay home!

    I'm right on the cut between millenial and Gen Z, but I was always raised to assume I'd move out at 18, college or otherwise, and I did so. Other than two summers during college, I've never moved back in with my parents. However, as I've gotten to know people from other countries (and even just from Hawaii), I've discovered that assumption isn't widely held across the globe. Sure, in developing countries, you'd expect it, but even well-to-do folks I knew had their well-to-do unmarried children live with them until marriage (and often afterwards too). Just a different way of looking at things. So long as the kid's not a mooch and not stunting his or her emotional growth (and the parents are happy with the arrangement), I don't see it as a problem to be fixed.

    Finally, as to the OP's question, if I'm good enough friends with someone to even consider making this gift, I'm good enough friends to discuss it with my buddy. The last thing you want is to make what is supposed to be a heartfelt gift into a financial anchor. I make a what I think most Americans would consider a very good living, and I'd still struggle to pay all of the other fees associated with a membership at nice club so unless you're willing to pay the whole enchilada, don't be surprised if he turns you down. Good luck and bless you for your generosity.

  • BB28403BB28403 Members Posts: 3,586 ✭✭

    @Man_O_War said:
    this makes me feel better. I am currently giving my GF 500$ a month as she studies for her license exams. it's pretty much the same. She is a good friend after all (Lol)

    Yeah, best advice I have for you is to just say that money is an investment in her as a person. And if it were me , I would say “that money is gone forever” and not even worry about it at all. Whatever you do, do not get into fights about it or hold it over her head. That is not healthy. Anyway, good luck to you both!

  • Man_O_WarMan_O_War Members Posts: 2,747 ✭✭

    @BB28403 said:

    @Man_O_War said:
    this makes me feel better. I am currently giving my GF 500$ a month as she studies for her license exams. it's pretty much the same. She is a good friend after all (Lol)

    Yeah, best advice I have for you is to just say that money is an investment in her as a person. And if it were me , I would say “that money is gone forever” and not even worry about it at all. Whatever you do, do not get into fights about it or hold it over her head. That is not healthy. Anyway, good luck to you both!

    truly appreciate that!!!

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  • cristphotocristphoto Members Posts: 3,311 ✭✭

    @IronHitter said:
    Thoughts on this? Noticed the threads mentioning the costs involved. I was wondering how the less well off financially of you would feel if someone offered to buy you membership for your local course? Or anyone's thoughts really. Feedback appreciated. Thanks.

    Are you talking about just paying the initiation or continually paying the monthly dues? If you are paying dues also what if he starts running up some large bills? It might stress your friendship. I knew a member that was related to someone in our clubs office and he got in with no initiation but paid the required dues. He admitted that he always felt a bit odd about being a member. Does the person you want to help actually want to be a member?

  • IronHitterIronHitter Members Posts: 84 ✭✭

    Sorry to confuse everyone, but it's a lump sum payment for membership of under $1000 with no joining fee. Then he gets to play 7 days per week without paying the green fees.

    If he wanted to get food or buy anything in the pro shop etc he would be paying for that - not me.

    Hope that makes more sense now I forgot how expensive a lot of courses are in the states to join and play at.

  • LeftDaddyLeftDaddy Members Posts: 709 ✭✭

    Without knowing the situation, I would just say to never underestimate people’s ability to take advantage of your kindness, and end up making you angry (or worse, creating a rift in the friendship).

    I have an immediate family member whom I’ve given to in certain situations, and the intent always seems to be good, etc etc. Yet they will go and do something incredibly stupid or insensitive with the gift, or worse...the gift ends up having the opposite effect I intended.

    Anyway, I’ve learned the hard way to never mix money with family/friends. It just invites too many potential issues.

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