The Authority for Temper Control

 mizzybrotitleist ·  
mizzybrotitleistmizzybrotitleist Members  2WRX Points: 0Posts: 2
Joined:  in Juniors/College Golf Talk #1
Dads.
Hey guys,

I have a little story.



So, I had pretty extreme problems with my temper when I first started playing this insane game 3 years ago, and now it has gotten a lot better but I still have my problems. I can choke down my emotions and play level-headed during competitive rounds, but when I am just playing a normal round of golf, I seem to have more problems. Ok, so two days ago I had a chip shot that was in a really weird lie in the rough, so I take my 60 and try to hit it high and land it soft, and my club went right underneath it. In impulsive reaction, my club majestically found its way to the dirt with pretty extreme force :P. Well, my dad goes "The next time you slam a club...." and I interrupted "You'll take it away and I'll never play golf again." He says, "Ok smart***, you just lost it for opening your mouth."



The biggest problem was dissrespecting my dad here, biting the hand that feeds me (literally and figuratively). My dads counterattack to my temper is taking the club that I lose my temper with, but he has taken the same 60 before for using it when I should not have. That was a long 6 months without it. Another problem is I won't be competing for who knows how long because of my outburst. It's a pretty big bummer.



Any of you guys had similar experiences?
Posted:
1

Comments

  • jszotjszot Members  323WRX Points: 0Posts: 323
    Joined:  #2
    I have the same problems. I used to have an awful temper to the point where I actually DQ'd myself out of a tourny. My dad never punishes me but it has gotten to the point where I start talking back to him or after he says good shot, ill say I know or no it wasnt and grabage like that. It has gotten better but I do feel bad about it all the time but at the moment its like you have no control of whats going on.
    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
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  • BDLzBDLz DON'T DRINK THE KOOL AID! Members  1117WRX Points: 0Posts: 1,117
    Joined:  #3
    Better take that 60* out of your avatar image/haha.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':drinks:' />
    Posted:
  • PutteditOB PutteditOB Members  148WRX Points: 0Posts: 148
    Joined:  #4
    I have always been trained to behave myself on the course by my dad and I don't show temper often. Honestly though with the SH*T that goes on in my head while playing just an average round shows just how extremely ridiculous this game can get. I don't blame you guys!
    Posted:
  • Swingtheclub  Swingtheclub Members  3752WRX Points: 2Posts: 3,752 Titanium Tees
    Joined:  #5
    Seriously when I was a kid if I back talked my Dad it would have meant and extra trip to the dentist.



    I once complained to a member what are we going to do about your sons temper thats the third club he has broken this summer.



    He did not want to deal with it and told me to handle it. So I took the kids clubs away from him. Told him he could have them back in the spring. This was like June in Wisconsin.



    His parents cracked after a month and asked me to give them back . I did and believe it or not the lesson was learned.



    I can not believe you are crying about a wedge.
    Posted:
  • xan_userxan_user Members  875WRX Points: 0Posts: 875
    Joined:  #6
    Sounds like something I would with my kids, if they had outburst problems on the course. Only it would be wedge and putter. =Practice only. If you want to play, its on your dime and your putting with a hybrid till you appreciate who pays for the golf in this house.



    To me Its Golf, not open heart surgery.



    I got my kids started in Golf to learn sportsmanship and etiquette, and above all to have fun.
    Posted:
    "Please accept my resignation.
    I don’t care to belong to any club that
    will have me as a member".
  • PdoughertyPdougherty Jr. Boomers  432WRX Points: 0Posts: 432
    Joined:  #7
    mizzybrotitleist wrote on Jul 1 2008, 06:38 PM:
    My dads counterattack to my temper is taking the club that I lose my temper with, but he has taken the same 60 before for using it when I should not have.




    What is that supposed to mean? How were you using it when you "shouldn't" have been using it?
    Posted:
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  • birdiemachine11birdiemachine11 Members  454WRX Points: 61Posts: 454 Greens
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    Lately it seems that I haven't gotten as mad during tournament rounds as I have in recreational rounds.
    Posted:
  • GaijinGolferGaijinGolfer Makeruna Nippon Members  1044WRX Points: 0Posts: 1,044
    Joined:  #9
    Personally, Id never talk back to my parents like that. Its a matter of respect and appreciation for all the things they did for me when I was a kid.

    Not to mention the fact that I would never conduct myself in that manner on a golf course. Golf is a gentleman's game and you should act accordingly.

    Granted, I get a little upset at myself when I make bad shots like that, but never to the point where Id lose my cool.

    Part of golf is maintaining control over your emotions. If you lose your cool like that, the game will beat you every time.

    When I first started playing golf, a friend gave me a piece of advice that I remember to this day: Never take this game seriously. The day you take it seriously, is the day when you need to quit.
    Posted:
  • alcap26alcap26 Charter Members  1379WRX Points: 142Posts: 1,379 Platinum Tees
    Joined:  #10
    I had a problem with a player on the middle school team I coached. During a match he displayed a very bad temper and foul language in front of his parents and I. I walked up to him and told him to put his clubs on my cart (2nd hole of the match) and he was to continue walking with the group as a scorer, flag tender, and bunker raker. If he left before the entire match ended or caused a problem in the group he was not welcome back. he was the #4 man and we lost the match by 3 strokes which we would have easily covered with him. His parents thanked me afterwards.
    Posted:
  • Triple-DoubleTriple-Double Members  533WRX Points: 0Posts: 533
    Joined:  edited Jul 11, 2008 #11
    *****IF YOU GET MAD ON THE COURSE YOU BETTER READ ALL OF THIS AND REALLY COMPREHEND IT*****

    I used to be the worst on the course. I've broken so many clubs it's not even funny, but we won't get into me listing all of those becasue it will take a while.(seriously) My mental game is the one thing that holds me back(still does today, just not as much). My attitude is the reason why I never flourished in junior golf like everyone around me predicted. I was always known as the amazingly talented kid that was "going places" and everyone always said to just be patient and I will get the tournament victories. I played alright in junior golf and got a few wins, but only on the local level. I never flourished in high school golf like everyone predicted. Now that I look back at everything I feel terrible about my attitude towards the game. I would let one bad shot take over my entire golfing career. I'm a perfectionist, which can be good, but I usually take it to the point of underminding my confidence. I have slowly learned to relax and just keep grinding out there. The key is to get the tournament success so when your in a bad situation in the future you can look back and say "hey I'm a good player and I've done it before, let's get back in this." but that's the catch, how can you get the success when you keep failing and criticizing yourself. It's a terrible circle that I am slowly getting out of. My advice would be to first get a girlfriend that you honestly care about so you can get your mid off of golf problems(warning, now you'll have girl problems LOL), but you can just chill and vent to someone you have a good relationship with and not your parents because you need to break away. From there just keep practicing and let it happen, yes I was told this and never listened and look at me now, I'm 18 and I have no real tournament succes worth noting and I couldn't even play on my local mediocre DII team. I dropped out even though I had a 3.6 gpa and I'm working at a golf shop to try and make money while I figure out my game so I can get to a good university. Just please listen to someone that could be you in the future. I would rather read a thread in a few years about how you kept your cool and are playing for a good DI university, as opposed to doing something like myself. Also remeber how priviliged you are to even be able to play golf and have expensive equipment and play on whatever course you do or maybe you have a membership, then you really need to take a step back and look at your life. I hope you hot heads read all of this.
    Posted:
  • BFCBFC Lefty Boomers  589WRX Points: 0Posts: 589
    Joined:  #12
    I pretty calm by nature but MY performance on the golf course could sometimes get the better of me until I had an eye opening experience.



    I was at a 4 day tourney and I got some kind of flu bug and got real sick the night after the first round. I didn't want to WD so I decided to try and play through it. I started triple/triple the second round. Normally I would have been fuming but I was litteraly too sick to care. I just kept telling myself just get through the day. I was saving my energy to focus 30 sec at a time, it's all I could do. I could not waste energy getting pissed, I had none to spare.



    I shot 83, I was a 11 h at the time.



    Lesson learned. It's just a game.



    Stay cool and stay out of your own way and don't look like a tool!
    Posted:
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  • epixepepixep If the wind will not serve, take to the oars Members  1425WRX Points: 0Posts: 1,425
    Joined:  #13
    As a beginner, people rarely get angry... they are new to the game - mistakes are inevitable.



    This never changes. Ever. We will continually make mistakes in thinking and execution that we can hardly believe. A golfer that realizes his or her anger is negatively impacting his game, and continually get angry does NOT care about golf. People think getting angry shows that they care about the game, it's the exact opposite. If you want to shoot high and never progress as a player, get pissed after every bogey.



    Bob Rotella believes a golfers greatest gift is free will.
    Posted:
  • AsleepAsleep Marshals  9056WRX Points: 4Posts: 9,056 Marshals
    Joined:  edited Jul 21, 2008 #14
    Platapus wrote on Jul 11 2008, 09:42 PM:
    *****IF YOU GET MAD ON THE COURSE YOU BETTER READ ALL OF THIS AND REALLY COMPREHEND IT*****

    I used to be the worst on the course. I've broken so many clubs it's not even funny, but we won't get into me listing all of those becasue it will take a while.(seriously) My mental game is the one thing that holds me back(still does today, just not as much). My attitude is the reason why I never flourished in junior golf like everyone around me predicted. I was always known as the amazingly talented kid that was "going places" and everyone always said to just be patient and I will get the tournament victories. I played alright in junior golf and got a few wins, but only on the local level. I never flourished in high school golf like everyone predicted. Now that I look back at everything I feel terrible about my attitude towards the game. I would let one bad shot take over my entire golfing career. I'm a perfectionist, which can be good, but I usually take it to the point of underminding my confidence. I have slowly learned to relax and just keep grinding out there. The key is to get the tournament success so when your in a bad situation in the future you can look back and say "hey I'm a good player and I've done it before, let's get back in this." but that's the catch, how can you get the success when you keep failing and criticizing yourself. It's a terrible circle that I am slowly getting out of. My advice would be to first get a girlfriend that you honestly care about so you can get your mid off of golf problems(warning, now you'll have girl problems LOL), but you can just chill and vent to someone you have a good relationship with and not your parents because you need to break away. From there just keep practicing and let it happen, yes I was told this and never listened and look at me now, I'm 18 and I have no real tournament succes worth noting and I couldn't even play on my local mediocre DII team. I dropped out even though I had a 3.6 gpa and I'm working at a golf shop to try and make money while I figure out my game so I can get to a good university. Just please listen to someone that could be you in the future. I would rather read a thread in a few years about how you kept your cool and are playing for a good DI university, as opposed to doing something like myself. Also remeber how priviliged you are to even be able to play golf and have expensive equipment and play on whatever course you do or maybe you have a membership, then you really need to take a step back and look at your life. I hope you hot heads read all of this.


    What a fantastic post!



    And a generous gift of honest personal experience from someone who appears to have matured beyond his 18 years.



    You have my respect, young man.
    image/clapping.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':swoon2:' />
    Posted:
    [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Treating others the way you want to be treated is the key component to preservation of our goals.[/font]
  • A-TrainA-Train Members  162WRX Points: 0Posts: 162
    Joined:  #15
    I have read a few of the stories that some of you have put on here and have seen that some of you have said that you get to the point that your so angry that you break clubs. i have been very angry on the course as some of you have said but i dont think that i would ever get to the point that i would damage clubs. i realize the value of my equipment and i dont know how many of you that have the money or even want to just go out and buy a brand new 7 iron every time you get mad. i have bought my own my driver 3wood putter 60*, 56*, and 50* and bag, by mowing yards. but my parents have bought my blades, hybrid, spikes, and my golf. that is alot of money, so i, as of late, have learned to look back and realize that i am fortunate and glad that they have bought me what they have, and that i have the ability to walk and to play the game. i hope that some of you will see the same.





    WITB

    Taylormade
    R5 Duel 10.5*

    Callaway Big Bertha +4 wood

    Tommy Armour 845 Silverscot 21* hybrid

    Ping I 10 irons Green dot True Temper Dynamic Gold

    Titleist Vokey Oil Can 50* Wedge

    Cleveland CG 12 56* Low bounce wedge

    Titleist Vokey Oil Can Spin Milled 60* wedge

    Odyssey Marxman Mallet 35"

    Srixon Soft Feel
    Posted:

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