Has your junior broken a club in anger?

It finally happened with my junior. How did/would you deal with it?

I'll describe our scenario for reference. He hit a tee shot just under a tree. Needed to hit low punch shot out to advance the ball, but it got up and hit the lowest branch of the tree. Ball went sideways and into a bunker about 5 yards from his initial spot. From the bunker he hit it thin that clipped the lip of the bunker but did advance about 80 yards into the rough. As he proceeded to walk to his ball he held the club by the clubhead, and with each stride hit the grip end into the ground. Probably hit the club about 3-4 times into the ground when it snapped about midway. I was behind raking the bunker when I saw it happen.

This was a non-tournament practice round and he was playing with some friends in a non-competitive round. He just got really flustered and upset on this particular sequence of shots.

Make him work or pay to replace it or he won't learn anything.

A few weeks before 10 year old Worlds the boy broke his US Kids Putter. I told him he would have to buy a new one. He had about $20.00. Took him to play it again and bought a Powebilt Taylormade Ghost knock off for $5.00. Then spent the other $15.00 getting it cut down and a new grip. He putted lights out with it at Worlds. Didn't even come with a head cover.

I'm from the "actions have consequences" school of thought. While dreams of a PGA Tour career are wonderful, the reality is that golf can teach many valuable life lessons. Sounds like you have opportunity here to teach your son one or more of those lessons.

I am all for accountability and agree with above comments. However, it sounds like there is a chance he wasn’t truly intentionally trying to break the club. I think I would sit my kid from golf for a month if he snapped one over his knee, threw it in the lake , or damaged the course. You’ve gotta take care of your equipment and jabbing the ground is NOT, but it sounds like he may of really not intended to break it. I was surprised when I leaned on my driver once too hard and it snapped , wasn’t expecting it. Either way it’s his fault and I say he pays for a new one...because actions(intentional or not) have consequences, but maybe your reprimand approach is different. I wish my kid had more fire sometimes- I don’t want him breaking clubs but I think sometimes that same fire that gets them in trouble is the same fire (passion) that makes them as good as they are.

> @hangontight said:

> I am all for accountability and agree with above comments. However, it sounds like there is a chance he wasn’t truly intentionally trying to break the club. I think I would sit my kid from golf for a month if he snapped one over his knee, threw it in the lake , or damaged the course. You’ve gotta take care of your equipment and jabbing the ground is NOT, but it sounds like he may of really not intended to break it. I was surprised when I leaned on my driver once too hard and it snapped , wasn’t expecting it. Either way it’s his fault and I say he pays for a new one...because actions(intentional or not) have consequences, but maybe your reprimand approach is different. I wish my kid had more fire sometimes- I don’t want him breaking clubs but I think sometimes that same fire that gets them in trouble is the same fire (passion) that makes them as good as they are.

I heard you. I wish my kid had more fire too. Right now, I’m the one who wants to break clubs lol.

> @hangontight said:

> I am all for accountability and agree with above comments. However, it sounds like there is a chance he wasn’t truly intentionally trying to break the club. I think I would sit my kid from golf for a month if he snapped one over his knee, threw it in the lake , or damaged the course. You’ve gotta take care of your equipment and jabbing the ground is NOT, but it sounds like he may of really not intended to break it. I was surprised when I leaned on my driver once too hard and it snapped , wasn’t expecting it. Either way it’s his fault and I say he pays for a new one...because actions(intentional or not) have consequences, but maybe your reprimand approach is different. I wish my kid had more fire sometimes- I don’t want him breaking clubs but I think sometimes that same fire that gets them in trouble is the same fire (passion) that makes them as good as they are.

He most certainly did not intend to break the club I will agree with you. The breakage was more of an accident but a well orchestrated one which he knew of his actions. Like playing ball in the house and breaking a vase, by accident. He had been warned about slamming the club into the ground, but started flipping the club around since the butt end didn't leave a gouge in the ground like a clubhead would, or muddy up the nooks and crannies of the clubhead that he had to then clean out.

> @heavy_hitter said:

> Make him work or pay to replace it or he won't learn anything.

>

Have already told him the club won't be replaced. He'll be playing Jr Worlds with 13 clubs. Lucky me as the caddie, a lighter bag.

He'll pay for the replacement club in the next set out of his savings he gets from birthday gifts and whatnot.

My wife and I have two very different personalities. I am the firey one at times and she is mostly the calm cool one. My oldest son has yet to do this as he came with her temperament. The younger son though is going to battle this issue if he picks up the game as he has a temper. I would definitely have him perform some type of retribution; however, you need to have a long discussion with him about channeling his passion in a positive way. It does not sound like he was truly raging and trying to break the club more just frustration. Passion is good and a huge component of success; however, it can be a fine line controlling that passion and this seems like a great opportunity to build up some psychological strength. Two great stories would be Bobby Jones, who notoriously broke and threw clubs as a junior before developing his mental strength and Roger Federer who was a nightmare as a junior and notorious for his temper. Now both are held as the absolute models for sportsmanship and being even keeled in stressful situations.

Mine hasn't and honestly I don't think he has it in him. For better or worse, my kid gets more sad than mad with bad shots. Also I'd love to see him snap a steal shaft.

> @kekoa said:

> Mine hasn't and honestly I don't think he has it in him. For better or worse, my kid gets more sad than mad with bad shots. Also I'd love to see him snap a steal shaft.

PReed Lover

When my 12 year old broke his club, we made him write a 500 word essay explaining why he should not have done it. It was actually hilarious. One part said he should have thrown himself since he hit the shot. I would, however, replace it for Jr. Worlds.

Outside of making sure he understands the need to take responsibility for his actions help him understand that you cannot get good things done when you lose your cool. Keeping calm in the face adversity is a very important lesson to learn in life whether it is on or off the course.

I've always told my son to play and act like someone important is watching. I'm curious if a top level D1 coach saw a prospect snap a club after a bad shot if it would put the kid at the bottom of the list for being a recruit? Honest question.

I have been told by multiple college coaches, they like to see how a player reacts after a poor shot is hit. I have also been told by coaches, they also look at the parents reaction when a poor shot is hit.

> @chrissdc said:

> I have been told by multiple college coaches, they like to see how a player reacts after a poor shot is hit. I have also been told by coaches, they also look at the parents reaction when a poor shot is hit.

While this is true, the new recruiting rules are going to change how coaches recruit kids. Men's programs are now only allowed to spend 45 days a year recruiting and can't have any contract with a player until their junior year. Even more so now than last year, coaches really don't care what a kid does until they are a sophomore in high school.

I saw a vid of the 10 yo boy who won from China. Probably the oddest swing ive seen but whatever works. I hear he was consistently hitting drives on the 220 range.

So , as a former college player and current minitour player I have some advice on this for parents. As a parent it’s kind of your job to teach them that anger isn’t right , but also they need to learn from you some ways to properly cope with that anger. If they never learn that they won’t go far . For example maybe teach your kid after a bad shut to break a tee in his hand , but the whole point of the anger is to let it be released so it doesn’t persist 9 more holes and affect your juniors day. I personally bought a lot of shafts on eBay that whenever I’m truly mad after a tournament I’ll break one over my knee , otherwise a cuss word under my breath or a tee snap is generally good enough to release the anger and be able to calmly move on and hit the next shot with a clear conscious

I have to disagree. Destructive release is a very poor anger management method in my book. It's more important to learn to harness anger and disappointment into understanding why you are angry and then releasing it by resolving to try harder, better manage situations so that you don't get into predicaments that can provoke anger or some other form of constructive release rather than simply releasing it by breaking something which is a destructive release which generally leads to a cascade of bad. Inevitably nearly all of of us are going to get angry at something in life, the hard part is learning to be assertive and not aggressive in your response to anger. I really feel that those who are able to do this unlock even greater potential in themselves. Just my two cents and my inner coach speaking of course!

I’ve read enough books though by “trying harder” you actually are being counter productive good golf should flow, it shouldn’t be effort. But if you don’t release that energy in some form it’s going to build , the trick is to release it and reset before the next shot. You have -10 seconds and then you’re question should be now what how can I fix what I just did .> @Dpavs said:

> I have to disagree. Destructive release is a very poor anger management method in my book. It's more important to learn to harness anger and disappointment into understanding why you are angry and then releasing it by resolving to try harder, better manage situations so that you don't get into predicaments that can provoke anger or some other form of constructive release rather than simply releasing it by breaking something which is a destructive release which generally leads to a cascade of bad. Inevitably nearly all of of us are going to get angry at something in life, the hard part is learning to be assertive and not aggressive in your response to anger. I really feel that those who are able to do this unlock even greater potential in themselves. Just my two cents and my inner coach speaking of course!

> @Aaronwilson_95 said:

> I’ve read enough books though by “trying harder” you actually are being counter productive good golf should flow, it shouldn’t be effort. But if you don’t release that energy in some form it’s going to build , the trick is to release it and reset before the next shot. You have -10 seconds and then you’re question should be now what how can I fix what I just did .> @Dpavs said:

> > I have to disagree. Destructive release is a very poor anger management method in my book. It's more important to learn to harness anger and disappointment into understanding why you are angry and then releasing it by resolving to try harder, better manage situations so that you don't get into predicaments that can provoke anger or some other form of constructive release rather than simply releasing it by breaking something which is a destructive release which generally leads to a cascade of bad. Inevitably nearly all of of us are going to get angry at something in life, the hard part is learning to be assertive and not aggressive in your response to anger. I really feel that those who are able to do this unlock even greater potential in themselves. Just my two cents and my inner coach speaking of course!

>

>

I probably was not as clear as I could have been in regards to what I wanted to indicate. Absolutely everyone should and needs to release anger when it happens! Nothing is going to work for everyone and most certainly each individual needs to determine what works best for them, but every anger management article, book, etc. that I have read advocates not doing so in any destructive manner. It's ok to get mad, it's ok to cuss the grass or the greens keeper's to start the release process, but breaking things or other acts of physical aggression are not generally viewed as acceptable release mechanisms. As for my point regarding building resolve to "try harder", that is just one of many potential end results of a constructive release process.

100% agree that’s something that works for me. Obviously kids need to learn not to do that out of anger and break clubs but it’s also a very teachable moment for parents to open the process of anger management & how being calm and flat lined is the greatest skill in golf. I’ll take a tee break versus a club slammer any day > @Dpavs said:

> > @Aaronwilson_95 said:

> > I’ve read enough books though by “trying harder” you actually are being counter productive good golf should flow, it shouldn’t be effort. But if you don’t release that energy in some form it’s going to build , the trick is to release it and reset before the next shot. You have -10 seconds and then you’re question should be now what how can I fix what I just did .> @Dpavs said:

> > > I have to disagree. Destructive release is a very poor anger management method in my book. It's more important to learn to harness anger and disappointment into understanding why you are angry and then releasing it by resolving to try harder, better manage situations so that you don't get into predicaments that can provoke anger or some other form of constructive release rather than simply releasing it by breaking something which is a destructive release which generally leads to a cascade of bad. Inevitably nearly all of of us are going to get angry at something in life, the hard part is learning to be assertive and not aggressive in your response to anger. I really feel that those who are able to do this unlock even greater potential in themselves. Just my two cents and my inner coach speaking of course!

> >

> >

>

> I probably was not as clear as I could have been in regards to what I wanted to indicate. Absolutely everyone should and needs to release anger when it happens! Nothing is going to work for everyone and most certainly each individual needs to determine what works best for them, but every anger management article, book, etc. that I have read advocates not doing so in any destructive manner. It's ok to get mad, it's ok to cuss the grass or the greens keeper's to start the release process, but breaking things or other acts of physical aggression are not generally viewed as acceptable release mechanisms. As for my point regarding building resolve to "try harder", that is just one of many potential end results of a constructive release process.

I kinda wish my kid had some fire in him. I like kids getting upset at themselves. Not so much breaking clubs, but frustration is nice to see. It's a hard game.

My Dad's solution ... I broke several clubs under the age of 15. Then one day he said: "I'll pay for this one, but the next one you break you pay for on your own and you also owe me $500 for the ones you already broke".

Haven't broken one since. $500 was a lot of lawn mowing.