From Good Golf to BABY...

Title really says it all. I went from a crappy ski season here in the northeast to decent golf to Covid-19 (Oncology team leader) to good golf and now to a baby... my wife is due the end of the month but could really go at any point and we will be okay.

I don't really think that there is a purpose to this post, just kind of "writing."

I honestly can't wait for the baby. It is our first and will be a whole new adventure. My Sat/Sun walking group is already asking me when i will be done. I keep laughing at it and say when the baby comes, but when should I be done? The course is only a few minutes from my house so really I could play almost up to the day of. The official date is 6/27. If nothing by that point, I"m thinking Sunday 6/21 will be my last golf outing for a while. I have already been told there will be no golf in July lol.

Just in time to come back and get some practice in before the end of the summer tournaments in August and September.

Thanks for reading!

It's not all doom and gloom. The first couple weeks that little person sleeps and your wife has a lot to do. Nap time, their good for a couple hours. I run into time constraints now that they are in elementary and middle school. Kids have sassy mouths, ride bikes and eat a lot.

Biggest change I noticed was when they started crawling and how fast they find stuff to drag and knock down things.

Haven't met a bad oncologist yet, keep it up!

My daughter is just over 2 yrs old now, she was born in April and i played about 50 rounds that year. It's definitely possible but if you are a decent guy (and it certainly sounds like you are) you will have to make some sacrifices.

The first year i didn't play any tournaments except my club championship, because most of them are like 9-10am tee offs and become full day events. I tried to play all of my rounds at like 6:30 or 7am so i could be home by 11 or so. However that is tough too because you won't be getting much sleep the first 2-3 months as it's likely your baby will still be waking up every 3 hours. So you'll be tired a lot

Your wife will need a lot of support the first year. Babies are hard, you really have to be "there" all the time. Even a 2yr old can watch TV and play a bit on their own. So someone being gone a full day REALLY sucks for the other person, it's hard to do anything while the baby is awake. You'll need to be there so she can go out and do some stuff too

But like i said man, if you can play early and be home, and support her to do her stuff aswell....no reason people can't have hobbies

Thanks Jeff. I actually play all of my rounds early now. My group usually tees off at 530am. We are all early risers. This weekend we are actually switching to 5. regardless I am normally home by 8am anyway. I'm honestly looking forward to putting the clubs away for a bit for the new adventure. Eventually I will have him on the golf course and I hope he falls in love with it. Can't wait for the baby to come and the new adventure that comes with it. Thanks for the reply and kind words.

I'm counting the days until i can put a golf club in my daughter's hands!

It's a lot of fun, the first couple of years it's crazy watching them learn everything. I still remember the first day my daughter learned how to control her hands. It's like they figure something out and then practice it all day. Really cool to watch

I've got a 6 almost 7 year old daughter and boy-girl twins that are almost 3. The twins are the ones you got to watch out for. We went from playing double team man defense to an out-numbered weak zone defense with the kids.

Before kids I played twice a week, once in a league match and then casually on the weekend wherever. I have hit three buckets of balls this year and played none. Kids do change things but don't give up on golf. I have been chipping away at wifey on getting us in the local country club so I can play a bit more and with more freedom.

My wife played up to about 5 weeks before our first was delivered. Walked all summer except for her last round. Ours came in September and I just quit for the season that year because there wasn’t much left of it. Was back out in the spring.

You adjust. No right or wrong. You’ll know if you should play or not. Little ones have their own ways of changing your life - it will all just happen and be fine.

Congratulations. Soon to be.

First of all, Congratulations!

Ive posted about this before, but kids are the greatest things in life. Your life will change forever and for the better. Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have, but probably the most important. You and your wife will enjoy it all (well, not all but “overall”) but you will certainly be making sacrifices. Golf will likely be one of them, but you will need your time and she will need hers. Just talk it out and be willing to make compromises, and it will be fine. Golf will be waiting on you when you get back. Enjoy, and congratulations again!

We had our first last year, there is still plenty of time for golf. It's once you get another one that you start to run low on time for a few years.

You can still play. Let your wife and baby rest for a few weeks. Talk to her nicely just say hey you know id really love to play a round at least once a week if you dont mind. Tell her you can play working around whats best for both of your schedules. I have 3 kids and still play about once a week. I play about 25 rounds a season maybe 30 if im lucky... would love 40+ but time money kids its not quite possibl lol. Im thankful for what i do have though. Dont worry you will probably play if your wife is understanding and schedules allow. My babys werent a handful until 2 which i currently have a 2 yr old ?

9 holes at first light is your friend as youll be back home before theyre awake. My wife loves to tell her friends how hard working I am that I'll wake up at 6am to go practice and exercise. More 9 holes and less 18 for a while will keep the fights down.

Just had no 2, laying w her now. No 1 is nearly 3.

No 1 was easy to work around and wife and he have good 1 on 1 time too sometimes.

No 2 is harder bc wife can't fight 2 fronts at present, so it's a real planned occasion. But I don't much mind. I get a little after work time here and there.

But I know what u mean re good golf. I just fixed some long standing problems with a good pro, and have been playing the best I've ever played. Hopefully it sticks around for the comeback.

Congratulations! the joyful face of your child when they see you coming home from work, it’s so pure and priceless.

for the first 3 months nights get really crazy, babies have small stomachs and need milk every few hours or dirty their diaper and cry non stop. It was destroying us. Someone has to get up and handle it and for 2 ppl to suffer is kinda crazy. I took this opportunity and struck a deal with my wife, I’ll do nights(every night). I got up 2 to 4 times a night(every night) to feed/change the baby if she would let me out guilt free to golf 5:30 am once a week.

My 1st kid set the pace and my 2nd, there wasn’t even a negotiation- automatic.

It’s painful but worth it. The stress level builds and you need a outlet.

First, congratulations! Like many have already said, there is nothing better than being a parent, even thought about 3 months from now, when you have not had a full nights sleep in what feels like 30 years, you may doubt it.

I have had my daughter (6 now) on the golf course since she was able to sit up. We bought a golf cart just so we could go to the course right before sundown when everyone else is done for the day.

Now, she "instructs" her 18 month old sister on the ins and outs of golf etiquette on nearly a daily basis while we are on the course. We moved to a house on the golf course a couple of years ago and honestly, I don't know who looks forward to me getting home from work me: me, because I get to spend a bit of time with my two girls while hitting balls, chasing squirrels and ducks and putting contests, or my wife who gets a couple of hours of "me" time while we are out.

Support your wife and be willing to sacrifice some and I promise it will be a great experience!

Having my first one in July. I don't expect to play much in July or August but I think I'll be able to get back out there once a week in September or so.

Worst case I have to play exclusively twilight rounds at night...it's better than nothing.

Congrats! You can still get out there. Just make sure your wife knows she and your kid are your #1 priority. Your formerly reasonable, even-keeled wife (as I'm sure you know, being a doc), will have her hormones go even more ridiculously crazy postpartum. It'll make pregnancy seem like a nice rational time of your/her life. Take the seeming craziness in stride, it's not her fault. However, you do have to deal with it, and that can mean giving up most things you like/want to do for a bit.

Don't forget grandparents! I get to go play pretty much every Sunday morning while my 6 year old daughter hangs with her grandma (My mom). Most of the time I take her over Saturday night and she spends the night. I have a quiet evening to myself, get up early to play, and there to pick her up by around noon.

Oh man the wonderful wonderful almighty power of grand parents.

My parents live out of state but my wife’s parents take them for a sleep over by special request. I swear if feel like we are only “dating” again when they are with grandma grandpa ..

even a few hours, what a blessing but you start missing the kids lol.

My wife and I were very schedule orientated which luckily made it pretty easy. Nap from 9-11 and 1-3 meant while they were young if I got out early she could do wake up, start a semi-break (can't leave the house but doesn't have any other motherly responsibilities) at nine and as long as I'm back by 11 I can do kid and lunch until afternoon nap. Same goes for if I woke up with him at nine I was free to leave and I had until 3 to be back (but I miss lunch and we like doing meals together).

That's not to say or imply all the days were easy. Sometimes they don't nap and that person gets the shaft but we really focused on not both being caretakers 100% of the time and alternating with each other to keep some sense of alone time where we can decompress and relax and then after dinner we spent more time all together.

Now that he's older and just in an afternoon nap its not as easy but if I play early I'm still home by lunch, can take primary responsibility when I get home and keep primary responsibility until after dinner, giving us both about equal alone time to spend as we want whether that be golf/taking a nap/pool without kids/reading/etc. He can also go with us if we want to ride a few holes together, smack some balls thirty yards and then go putt with us.

Biggest thing for us was committing. A 3 hour round is great. A 4.5 hour round, with a 30 minute warm-up, 10 minute commute each way, and a beer in the bar afterwards turns me being gone for 3 1/2 hours to 4 hours into me being gone for 6 hours which is of course a much harder deal to strike, for good reason. The golfing habits may have to change but there are certainly ways where you can both continue enjoying your hobbies if you work together on finding the time to make it happen.

I was back on the course a couple days after my daughter was born. She is 9 now.

Generally, I have more opportunity for range time during the week vs actual play. I save 18 holes for the weekend. This season, though...Corona-mageddon forced me into an online/work-from-home kind of thing, and my boss is in the process of retiring, so I play in the morning now...hop online in the afternoon and answer enough emails to keep up appearances, pull off the occasional high-profile opportunity, and all is good.

Dads find a way.

I've got a 2 year old and #2 is due August. Wife knows I need golf and bowling to keep my sanity, i don't see my friends otherwise. Bowl league weekly and play a round once a month. Both our parents help out a lot with baby sitting.

Bought a net so that i can get in reps and be close by, a byproduct of the 'rona.

You'll be fine. Just got to curb the FOMO (fear of missing out) is all.

You find things that you are willing to sacrifice along the way. Make sure they are things that you want that you sacrifice though. This will sound pretty stupid but I have went from mowing my lawn twice per week to once and using the afternoons after work to hit balls. Yard is a little taller and little scruffier than what I would want but I'll trade that for a little time at the range or course.

I also go into work much earlier so I can leave a little earlier to hit a bucket here and there in the afternoons but still get home to the family around 4:30-5:00.

some advice from a busy dad. as far as the kid 2 simple things 1. Whatever brings peace to your home is the right thing to do.2. If you are watching kid make her go away, if she tells you to take a break, go away, 2 parents 1/2 watching a baby = no body resting and recharging.

Golf: have the fight today, the fight is coming now, six months, a year, but its coming. Go Golf and come home, don't go to warm up for an hour and play, do not stay to drink, do not complain about round, do not come home tired,sore or lazy. incorporate it every week and offer her equal time to disappear and do her thing. Immediately tell her I'm going to play golf for this time and I encourage you to do something for that long or better yet longer. If she chooses not to, politely tell her that is her choice. sounds a bit rough but trust me you will thank me

It is not the end, it might be for a week or two but after that you should be able to get 9 holes in with no issues. I moved to early mornings so i was back to help out. We had kids in back to back years and still was no end. I have 3 kids now, i am in the good part of life, 1 is trying out for highschool team and youngest is starting to play. Wife is always happy for us to go and give her peace.

I play 3 days a week and practice 5 days so all it not lost.

During the spring and fall my weekend walking group tee off at 530/545am-ish and during the long days we tee off at 5am. I am completely happy taking off a month to get into a groove. My wife knows how much I love golf and she completely supports it. I will be back probably more sooner than later, but being a dad will always come first.

Our 1 year old sleeps all night, and I play golf almost every day.

I'm sure you can, too.

Where I lived when I had kids was not a great place to play early and get out and get back. So to be honest I didn't play more than a five times a year for about 4 years. (I had two kids and they were 23 months apart) Almost half of those were work travel related as well.

If you are a member or in a non resort area where you can get out early then you will just be playing golf tired. I had friends in with kids at similar times and their wives were fine with early tee off times as long as they didn't come home and need a nap. The wives have hobbies and need breaks too, a lot also depends on if she is going to go back to work after your child is born. If she is then it is easier. If she isn't and you don't have a nanny she will want and need more breaks.

You can definitely play and from what I have seen/heard playing very early is the way to go.

To me, it all depends on your wife or partner. If she understands your hobby and how much it means to you, then you are ahead of most guys. In the very early stages there is not much you can for the baby. The biggie, is keeping the house clean and provide food because she will be hungry a lot! I ordered pre-made meals that would arrive every other day. Pop them in the microwave and boom, wife is happy. Also, do the laundry. Doing all that stuff will give you some free time to get out and hit some balls or play at least once per week. Enjoy the time because it goes by so fast.

Thanks,

Jeff