Wasting Away in A Lonely Golf Existence

So I picked up the game rough 2 1/2 years ago, and spent the first 2 years of my golfing life learning the game alongside my best friend, who started when I did, as well as a few friends who had played for a while, and a couple friends who were veterans of the game and who could really play. I'd spent 10 years in Chattanooga and built some long-lasting, meaningful relationships with these guys and we all loved golf. It was rare that I couldn't find someone to play with at almost any point in time. If I couldn't, I'd still go as a single and join up with someone, but like I said, that was rare.

Fast Fwd to 6 months ago...my wife and I moved back to Virginia Beach, VA to be near my parents as we're hoping to begin a family of our own in the next year or so. My brother-in-law, who is really the one who got me hooked on this game, is a regular playing partner here, but he is a member at a country club, which I cannot afford, and so we play together when we can, but I often play using passes or discounted tee times, and by doing so he would eliminate the need to be a member at his course, so we often end up playing different places.

I've been here 6 months and in the 30 or so rounds I've played, I'd say at least 15-17 have been by myself, as I don't know anyone else here who loves the game like I do. If its below 70* they're not interested. If it's early in the morning on a Saturday...nope. They don't talk about golf, they don't watch golf, they don't like golf equipment.

Aside from the fact I am miserable being back home and I long to be back in Chattanooga, this golfing alone stuff is only so much fun ya know? What I'm looking for are tips to break into playing groups, clubs, etc. I work for a non-profit and make enough to live off of, but not enough to be a member at a private club, and I just feel kind of like....what the heck am I doing here? My dad can't play golf anymore btw due to health issues, and everyone here is into surfing and partying, neither of which interest me.

Any advice? Sorry if this comes across as sniveling....I just love the game, love the competition, and am not sure where to get tied in with other golfers who love to play as much as I do.

Maybe find some GolfWRXers close to you? Work friends?

I was in you shoes 10 years ago. I'll assume your local public/ muni course has some sort of men's league. Call those courses and see what they have available. It's a great way to meet local people and find some good matches along the way! Good luck.
-Pete

Two things:

1. Start walking on as a single during those mornings. i.e. 7am-9am You get to play the day you want, vs. when your friends are available and you get to meet new people. I enjoy waking on and meeting new people as much as I enjoy playing with my friends. You'll also end up meeting new groups to play with that way.

2. As Pete noted, look into the mens league at one of your favorite courses. It's usually inexpensive and covers your GHIN fees as well.

+1 for leagues and morning walks...and send a call out to all Wrx'ers in your area.

I'm in your shoes but I'm in Columbia, SC. The weather down here is great because of the VERY mild winters. But I just recently moved back to Columbia and having a hard time finding folks to play here. I get the same excuses from friends (either too expensive or too early). I've recently started to play as a single either in the mornings on weekends or early afternoon and have had a few great rounds with those I have been paired with.

[quote name='Kadin 25' timestamp='1357331395' post='6168665']
+1 for leagues and morning walks...and send a call out to all Wrx'ers in your area.
[/quote]

Are there forums broken down by state? That would be a tremendous help. Any chance we can get that started? Doesn't seem like it'd be that hard, if it doesn't already exist.

Thanks for the advice guys!

They are a couple broken down by State but most are by region. Just put Virginia Beach in the header so that others looking at the post can easily see where you are located.

Best thing is just to ask around,,start with one of the pros at the courses you want to play. The pros will know which groups are willing to add players. As long as you are willing to flexible in your starting times,,I'd bet it wont take too long to find a group.

I will give you my sad story.

My best friend and i used to play like once a month. Both hackers. I decided i wanted to get better and took some lessons. I got better, he stayed the same. He would still say he would play with me, but i would wake up, get all my golf stuff ready, and he would call and bail. It was kind of like one of those situations where your waiting on the curb for your dad to pick you up to go fishing, polein hand, and he wouldnt show. My wife actually tried to find people for me to golf with, thats how sad she felt for me.

Heres what i did. Go play as a single. But get paired up with people. If you get along with who you get paired up with, get their number. It can be awkward, because it might seem like you are hitting on them. But you just got to do it. I met the guy i play with every weekend that way, and now he is one of my better friends. Ive got 3-4 other guys i can play with as well. Just got to man up, and golf-hit on a guy.

[quote name='Duffner's Waggle' timestamp='1357327304' post='6168217']
So I picked up the game rough 2 1/2 years ago, and spent the first 2 years of my golfing life learning the game alongside my best friend, who started when I did, as well as a few friends who had played for a while, and a couple friends who were veterans of the game and who could really play. I'd spent 10 years in Chattanooga and built some long-lasting, meaningful relationships with these guys and we all loved golf. It was rare that I couldn't find someone to play with at almost any point in time. If I couldn't, I'd still go as a single and join up with someone, but like I said, that was rare.

Fast Fwd to 6 months ago...my wife and I moved back to Virginia Beach, VA to be near my parents as we're hoping to begin a family of our own in the next year or so. My brother-in-law, who is really the one who got me hooked on this game, is a regular playing partner here, but he is a member at a country club, which I cannot afford, and so we play together when we can, but I often play using passes or discounted tee times, and by doing so he would eliminate the need to be a member at his course, so we often end up playing different places.

I've been here 6 months and in the 30 or so rounds I've played, I'd say at least 15-17 have been by myself, as I don't know anyone else here who loves the game like I do. If its below 70* they're not interested. If it's early in the morning on a Saturday...nope. They don't talk about golf, they don't watch golf, they don't like golf equipment.

Aside from the fact I am miserable being back home and I long to be back in Chattanooga, this golfing alone stuff is only so much fun ya know? What I'm looking for are tips to break into playing groups, clubs, etc. I work for a non-profit and make enough to live off of, but not enough to be a member at a private club, and I just feel kind of like....what the heck am I doing here? My dad can't play golf anymore btw due to health issues, and everyone here is into surfing and partying, neither of which interest me.

Any advice? Sorry if this comes across as sniveling....I just love the game, love the competition, and am not sure where to get tied in with other golfers who love to play as much as I do.
[/quote]

[quote name='Duffner's Waggle' timestamp='1357327304' post='6168217']
So I picked up the game rough 2 1/2 years ago, and spent the first 2 years of my golfing life learning the game alongside my best friend, who started when I did, as well as a few friends who had played for a while, and a couple friends who were veterans of the game and who could really play. I'd spent 10 years in Chattanooga and built some long-lasting, meaningful relationships with these guys and we all loved golf. It was rare that I couldn't find someone to play with at almost any point in time. If I couldn't, I'd still go as a single and join up with someone, but like I said, that was rare.

Fast Fwd to 6 months ago...my wife and I moved back to Virginia Beach, VA to be near my parents as we're hoping to begin a family of our own in the next year or so. My brother-in-law, who is really the one who got me hooked on this game, is a regular playing partner here, but he is a member at a country club, which I cannot afford, and so we play together when we can, but I often play using passes or discounted tee times, and by doing so he would eliminate the need to be a member at his course, so we often end up playing different places.

I've been here 6 months and in the 30 or so rounds I've played, I'd say at least 15-17 have been by myself, as I don't know anyone else here who loves the game like I do. If its below 70* they're not interested. If it's early in the morning on a Saturday...nope. They don't talk about golf, they don't watch golf, they don't like golf equipment.

Aside from the fact I am miserable being back home and I long to be back in Chattanooga, this golfing alone stuff is only so much fun ya know? What I'm looking for are tips to break into playing groups, clubs, etc. I work for a non-profit and make enough to live off of, but not enough to be a member at a private club, and I just feel kind of like....what the heck am I doing here? My dad can't play golf anymore btw due to health issues, and everyone here is into surfing and partying, neither of which interest me.

Any advice? Sorry if this comes across as sniveling....I just love the game, love the competition, and am not sure where to get tied in with other golfers who love to play as much as I do.
[/quote]

A question for you.....would you be okay with being paired with a woman golfer? If she was at least as good a golfer as you, or could hold her own anyway?

Get to know your local golf industry peeps. You'd be surprised how much time some of them have to play golf especially in the "off season."

The industry peeps usually know a good network of players and when they can play.

Pick up a part time gig if you can at a range or pro shop. You'd be surprised how many new friends you can make that share the same level of insanity towards this sport.

I've met a bunch of guys who were into golf, gotten invitations to play and even found my foursome practicing putting and chipping for an hour or two.

UPDATE: Saw a 12:12 tee time on golf now tonight for a great price and it was only available to 1 or 2 players. I assume that means 2 signed up and they lowered the price looking to fill that slot, so tomorrow I'll be taking your advice and purposely hoping to "hook up" at the golf course haha. I mean I've paired up before, but I certainly never went to the course with that intent, so tomorrow begins a new approach.

And as for some of the stuff abt just meeting guys on the course, etc. I've met a few, even exchanged numbers with a couple, but they just don't play that often. once a month or so just aint cuttin it for me. Time to keep lookin I guess. I'm startin a Virginia Beach thread here as well.

[quote name='Kadin 25' timestamp='1357331395' post='6168665']
+1 for leagues and morning walks...and send a call out to all Wrx'ers in your area.
[/quote]
[quote name='SlowMotion' timestamp='1357340278' post='6169659']
They are a couple broken down by State but most are by region. Just put Virginia Beach in the header so that others looking at the post can easily see where you are located.
[/quote]
[quote name='bmellisen' timestamp='1357349380' post='6170437']
I will give you my sad story.

My best friend and i used to play like once a month. Both hackers. I decided i wanted to get better and took some lessons. I got better, he stayed the same. He would still say he would play with me, but i would wake up, get all my golf stuff ready, and he would call and bail. It was kind of like one of those situations where your waiting on the curb for your dad to pick you up to go fishing, polein hand, and he wouldnt show. My wife actually tried to find people for me to golf with, thats how sad she felt for me.

Heres what i did. Go play as a single. But get paired up with people. If you get along with who you get paired up with, get their number. It can be awkward, because it might seem like you are hitting on them. But you just got to do it. I met the guy i play with every weekend that way, and now he is one of my better friends. Ive got 3-4 other guys i can play with as well. Just got to man up, and golf-hit on a guy.
[/quote]

Well boys...I did it....[url="http://www.golfwrx.com/forums/topic/770611-calling-all-hampton-roadstidewatervirginia-beach-golfers/"]http://www.golfwrx.com/forums/topic/770611-calling-all-hampton-roadstidewatervirginia-beach-golfers/[/url]

[quote name='Kaysquare' timestamp='1357350109' post='6170523']

A question for you.....would you be okay with being paired with a woman golfer? If she was at least as good a golfer as you, or could hold her own anyway?
[/quote]

Yea I'd say so. I mean obviously I'm lookin for guys to hang out with off the course as well, and being a young married guy, I don't really have interest in making new female friends, but as far as walking up to the course as a single and being paired for 18 holes? Yea if she could play, I'm cool with that.

[quote name='Duffner's Waggle' timestamp='1357327304' post='6168217']
So I picked up the game rough 2 1/2 years ago, and spent the first 2 years of my golfing life learning the game alongside my best friend, who started when I did, as well as a few friends who had played for a while, and a couple friends who were veterans of the game and who could really play. I'd spent 10 years in Chattanooga and built some long-lasting, meaningful relationships with these guys and we all loved golf. It was rare that I couldn't find someone to play with at almost any point in time. If I couldn't, I'd still go as a single and join up with someone, but like I said, that was rare.

Fast Fwd to 6 months ago...my wife and I moved back to Virginia Beach, VA to be near my parents as we're hoping to begin a family of our own in the next year or so. My brother-in-law, who is really the one who got me hooked on this game, is a regular playing partner here, but he is a member at a country club, which I cannot afford, and so we play together when we can, but I often play using passes or discounted tee times, and by doing so he would eliminate the need to be a member at his course, so we often end up playing different places.

I've been here 6 months and in the 30 or so rounds I've played, I'd say at least 15-17 have been by myself, as I don't know anyone else here who loves the game like I do. If its below 70* they're not interested. If it's early in the morning on a Saturday...nope. They don't talk about golf, they don't watch golf, they don't like golf equipment.

Aside from the fact I am miserable being back home and I long to be back in Chattanooga, this golfing alone stuff is only so much fun ya know? What I'm looking for are tips to break into playing groups, clubs, etc. I work for a non-profit and make enough to live off of, but not enough to be a member at a private club, and I just feel kind of like....what the heck am I doing here? My dad can't play golf anymore btw due to health issues, and everyone here is into surfing and partying, neither of which interest me.

Any advice? Sorry if this comes across as sniveling....I just love the game, love the competition, and am not sure where to get tied in with other golfers who love to play as much as I do.
[/quote]

Two summers back I was in a similar place. I love playing with my group the best, and playing with strangers can be stressful, and playing alone can be lonely. However, two great things happened out of that summer. When I was alone I really worked on my game by keeping better stats and analyzing shots and I really improved my game. Also that summer I met some people that I now regularly play with, but it took a while. Good luck out there.

I see what you mean about your topic being moved, it is more of a general golf topic. But as I am reading this I can't help to think that this is me. Almost to the tee. I love golf, I really started playing about 4 years ago. The problem is I am from Ohio originally so that's where all my friends are. I moved to Michigan when I was 20 for work but wasn't to far from home so I still saw my friends. But as I got older I started traveling more for work so I didn't get to seem them much because when I came home I didn't want to drive 1.5 to Ohio. But I also had no friends in Michigan either. Now I've moved again even farther into Michigan and still don't know anybody. It's hard as a 26 year old male to make friends. It's not as if you go to the bar and say hey you're wearing a titleist hat we should go golfing sometime lol. Sorry about going on forever just thought I'd say I'm in the same boat

Most of my college buddies moved out of MI for work so I know what you mean. Join a league once a week on weekdays, get your wife to start playing, find people to play with on here. I'm lucky enough to have my brother to play with regularly but I probably tee'd it up with 10 wrx'rs this year and all of them are great guys.

Edit - Also you would be surprised with who falls in love with the game, I have a buddy I wouldn't have thought would enjoy it much be he's got it just as bad as I do now even being his first year playing. Maybe try inviting some friends who rarely play, you never know.

[quote name='swizbeatz' timestamp='1357495656' post='6178477']
Most of my college buddies moved out of MI for work so I know what you mean. Join a league once a week on weekdays, get your wife to start playing, find people to play with on here. I'm lucky enough to have my brother to play with regularly but I probably tee'd it up with 10 wrx'rs this year and all of them are great guys.

Edit - Also you would be surprised with who falls in love with the game, I have a buddy I wouldn't have thought would enjoy it much be he's got it just as bad as I do now even being his first year playing. Maybe try inviting some friends who rarely play, you never know.
[/quote]

I have thought about leagues and clubs many times and I might still join a CC in the area, but for me I literally travel so much its hard to dedicate my time to league or a club. I may be working at home this month and then next month I will travel to PA for work for 6 months or a Hurricane will hit and I will be in LA or NY for a month. It just makes it hard because I can't be counted on to be there.