POLL: Urinating on the course...



  • LokiLoki Members Posts: 1,110 ✭✭
    Do it all the time, discretely.

    Once saw a Chicago idiot do it in the middle of the 18th fairway on a course in Lake Geneva, WI. What a pig.
  • rsj1360rsj1360 Member of the Resistance Members Posts: 2,414 ✭✭
    Never mind urinating on the course, some people like urinating on beds, apparently.
  • HankshankHankshank Members Posts: 1,556 ✭✭
    I do try to find someting a little more hidden than "a tree". But I seek the forest in times of need.
  • ohioglfrohioglfr Municipal Junkie Members Posts: 728 ✭✭
    I'm 63 years old and am at the age where I could get a sudden urge to go. I usually go at the clubhouse and again at the halfway loo with no problems. But several times I've found myself meandering into a thicket of hedge and relieving myself. If anyone is around (hopefully 200 yds or more), I'll shuffle around, like I'm looking for a ball. Coffee plays a large part of the problem, so I shouldn't drink it before a round. That sucks . . . no coffee first thing in the morning. But I'm not going the adult diaper route.

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  • Rookie1422Rookie1422 Members Posts: 148 ✭✭
    Public or private doesn't matter. A restroom is a restroom and a golf course is a golf course.
  • MillbrookMillbrook Members Posts: 1,711 ✭✭
    Mixed armed forced evening dinner and an army guy and airforce guy in the restroom together.

    Army guy finishes and washes hands as airforce guy goes to leave without doing so.

    'In the army, says the army guy, they taught us to wash our hands afterwards.'

    Airforce guy 'in the airforce they taught us not to pi$$ on our hands in the first place.'
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  • Tigermatt31Tigermatt31 Members Posts: 103
    As long as its not facing a house and no one is watching it doesn't matter
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  • BigUnit68BigUnit68 Members Posts: 257 ✭✭

    As long as its not facing a house and no one is watching it doesn't matter


    If you're a guy and never pi$$ed on the course you're either fibbing or you don't play much.
  • tekin112000tekin112000 Big Shooter Members Posts: 418 ✭✭
    I play with a guy that can stealth pi$$ better than anyone.

    He can stand in the middle of a a fairway with one hand in his pocket near the back of the cart and pretend to be busy cleaning a club or checking his GPS and it almost impossible to tell what is really going on.

    His body language is so nonchallant
  • SmiterOfPv1xSmiterOfPv1x Banned Posts: 371
    My dad owned a small roofing company growing up. As such he taught me the art of stealth peeing. Spend 10 straight hours on a residential roof in a busy neighborhood in the summer drinking 2 gallons of water on a 90 degree day and tell me you can hold it? Yeah right. If you were lucky they might have a chimney around. The biggest takeaway was that so long you as it didn't look like you were taking a leak most people wouldn't pay no attention to you. So just whip it out and go but be pointing at things and in general trying to make it look like you were doing something other then peeing. He was a roofer for 20 years and never had a problem, but this was long enough ago that folk weren't so overly sensitive and probably most importantly everyone wasn't walking around carrying a handheld computer that could also record what he was doing and call the cops at the same time.

    To the issue at hand, yes, of course I go on the course. No I will never have a problem as there I no way that anyone will ever see me doing it. Every course around here has sufficient woods to go in to take a leak so it's never an issue. I'll stop short of going in the woods and go behind a tree (but never one that should be in play for anyone so as to not expose them to urine) but only after several 360 scans to make sure no one is within view. Now my little golfing buddy who's 5 doesn't have the pee control game developed yet so when he has to go he HAS TO GO. In that situation we be as discreet as possible, but since he's still a full "drop trow" pee'er its possible that a few people have been mooned by him. But he's 5. I doubt anyone would take exception.
  • ks6970ks6970 Members Posts: 65
    If you have to go you have to go
  • BeerPerHoleBeerPerHole Members Posts: 1,130 ✭✭
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  • EJohnBEJohnB Members Posts: 6
    Someone told me early on that God invented hunting and fishing so that men could pee on trees.

    He then invented golf so that they could pee on trees while dressed as pimps - obviously a quote from a couple of decades ago!
  • St JimmySt Jimmy Members Posts: 406 ✭✭
    I usually pee behind the port-o-john. They make great cover!
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  • SwingEZSwingEZ Members Posts: 135 ✭✭
    When it's time to go, I don't hold back.
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  • JonPacNWJonPacNW Members Posts: 67
    A full bladder causes tension in my golf swing, and a tree is just a urinal that nature installed...
  • TheGeekGolferTheGeekGolfer Just beat the Huskies! Go Cougs! Members Posts: 1,439 ✭✭
    I played once with this "friend/client" of my wife. He stopped in the middle of the fairway on the 17th hole and peed right next to the golf cart. Didn't even try to find a bush or hide it. Last time I played with him for that and several other reasons.
  • BamaPennyBamaPenny Members Posts: 4
    edited Jun 25, 2017 #229
    Several years ago I was playing at one of our nearby munis when, on about hole #7, the urge to go hit me. I fought the good fight and held it until we got to the turn and the snack bar and bathrooms, and I was rewarded by opening the bathroom and being hit with the most God awful stench, a screaming and crying child, and a dad with crap on his hands turning and screaming at me to "CLOSE THE **** DOOR!!!". Needless to say, I almost pissed my pants. I was scarred from the stench and the sight, and I've never been the same. I ended up finding a convenient row of shrubs and took care of my business right there. Since that day, I've lived by the motto "When I gotta go, I gotta go", and I just find the nearest discreet spot.

    P.S. This is why I think parents should use their best judgement before deciding to bring their kids to the golf course to play a round with them.
  • BishopBreaking80BishopBreaking80 Members Posts: 76
    somaplr wrote:

    Halebopp wrote:

    I just can't understand how people can get through life if they can't anticipate the need to go in ten minutes. Yet certain shrubs next to 2nd and 11th tee boxes have a distinctively different color thanks to them being used as public bathrooms. I use the loo at the turn and before/after the round

    I'm not sure how the temperatures in Finland are, but if you play in the midwest during the thick of summer, the hummidity is enough to kill you. Sometimes you have to constantly drink water...a lot of times that leads to having to take a leak before the turn without a stall for a few holes. It just happens sometimes and is unavoidable. It's not pleasant, but just be discreet.

    This. However, replace the word "water" with "beer".

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  • Bramsuer10Bramsuer10 Members Posts: 89
    Don't see a huge issue with it
  • JarrethJarreth Members Posts: 177
    I help water the course frequently, and volume varies depending on amount of beer consumed.
  • ShilgyShilgy Members Posts: 11,386 ✭✭

    I play with a guy that can stealth pi$$ better than anyone.

    He can stand in the middle of a a fairway with one hand in his pocket near the back of the cart and pretend to be busy cleaning a club or checking his GPS and it almost impossible to tell what is really going on.

    His body language is so nonchallant
    I played with that guy a few months ago. Bugged the sh+t out of me. If you want to pee in the woods, or in the cactus here in Phoenix, that's fine but not in the middle of the fairway. Please no!!
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  • jb20jb20 Members Posts: 61 ✭✭
    Depends on where I’m at on the course. If I’m close to the turn I’ll wait but if I’m in the middle of the course I’ll find a spot out of bounds in the trees and go
  • uitar9uitar9 Members Posts: 379 ✭✭
    Played a fairly high profile mountain course in our area a few weeks back. The starter gave us the usual directions, location of facilities and then indicated the other facility, 360 degrees around us. There was more brown grass from elk pee.

    On Monday mens night past, I watched two beer guzzling team mates, stand on either side of the porta pottie , to takea.

    Just don't get arrested
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  • BarfolomewBarfolomew #worstWRXer Members Posts: 1,244 ✭✭
    One of Gods blessing to men that women really miss out on is the ability to pee outdoors easier then indoors.....cheers God
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  • NoTalentLeftyNoTalentLefty Members Posts: 3,456 ✭✭
    Don’t like to change the feel of my bladder until the clubhouse. It throws my game off.
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  • PulledabillPulledabill Members Posts: 334 ✭✭
    Lol....i try not to but on an occasion I will. My course has houses and is semi private so really only a few oppurtunities and they are on the back. The front has zero chance unless you want to be seen.
  • Matt JMatt J Members Posts: 8,716 ✭✭
    I'm definitely on the more liberal side of judging an appropriate location, as I've had renal system health problems and I hate playing while holding back urine, I think it makes me too tense.

    Obviously, you don't want guys flapping it out in front of women and children, but I think it's lame some women seem to complain if a guy discreetly goes in the bushes simply because they can't. My wife is outdoorsy and she squats and pees outside pretty easily, so I don't get the issue. If you want to let loose, make sure no one's in the line of sight of your privates and let it rip. I've very rarely found a place on a golf course that seems negatively effected by too much urine, either by smell or damage to the plant life. I think those complaints are largely fictitious.

    One course I play recently put up signs on the walk up to the 8th green that actually cites the local ordinance. Seems to be an extreme measure, but I guess it keeps the neighbors happy. I guess if they call the police they can say you were warned although I've never heard of that happening.
  • KaBoom21KaBoom21 Members Posts: 1,573 ✭✭
    Loki wrote:

    Do it all the time, discretely.

    Once saw a Chicago idiot do it in the middle of the 18th fairway on a course in Lake Geneva, WI. What a pig.

    Honestly, depends on the course in those parts. How did you discern Chicago residency?
  • doctorodoctoro Members Posts: 181
    Some courses are sparsely tree lined but luckily on the east coast, we can usually go off into the woods and relieve without fear of breaking any etiquette rules. If it is an emergency, I go. Put more Porta Potties on the course if it is a huge issue. People who do it openly on the course, are usually drunk or just plain idiots. Hopefully, the Marshall will give them the boot.
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