Baby in daycare to golf...

Here's a 'what would you do?' type of situation. My wife and I just had our first child in November so he's just over 3 months old. She had 12 weeks off from work so she returned to work a couple of weeks ago and we started taking him to daycare. I work an alternate work schedule that allows me to have one extra day off every other week, so I have every other Monday off. Prior to having our baby boy, I would always just go out and play golf all day on those Mondays. Yesterday was the first day we didn't have snow on the ground since we've been taking him to daycare and I wanted to play some golf. Our daycare requires us to pay the same amount every week regardless of how many days we take him to daycare. So I took him to daycare and went out and played golf. I felt a little guilty for doing so because I feel like I should spend that time with him, but at the same time I feel like I need some me time...and we pay daycare no matter what. Have you been faced with a similar situation or what would you do if you had something like this come up?

I get what you are saying and agree with you. There are a couple friends that do similar stuff, such as leave the baby with a sitter until them or their wife can go get the kid.

I wouldn't feel too badly about it. Not to say it's not important to spend time with your child and family, but assuming you're doing that nights and weekends I can't see much harm in using your Monday off for a little golf. Be mindful that your wife will need/want her own free time too, most likely on the weekends, so maybe that's the fair trade?

I have a nanny watch my kids on Saturday mid morning so I can play. Otherwise I'd lose my mind.

I agree with what you are saying. I have one child and one on the way. I felt a little guilty at 1st but everyone needs a little "me time". I say if you still feel guilty try to get one of the 1st tee times then pick him up after you are done. You still spend most of the day with him.

[quote name='SheriffBooth' timestamp='1393342821' post='8741498']
I wouldn't feel too badly about it. Not to say it's not important to spend time with your child and family, but assuming you're doing that nights and weekends I can't see much harm in using your Monday off for a little golf. Be mindful that your wife will need/want her own free time too, most likely on the weekends, so maybe that's the fair trade?
[/quote]

Yep, nights and weekends for sure. I also encourage my wife to have some time to herself all of the time and even try to make her plan stuff haha. She's one of those people that doesn't really have a hobby that she's passionate about so that can be difficult at times.

I say take advantage of the opportunity...gotta keep yourself sane with a baby around. I do the same thing whenever I get a day off during the week.

I doubt your 3 month old cares!

I have 2 kids, both in daycare. Weekdays are really the only time I can get out and play/practice without having to give anything up (aka, I don't get flack from my wife). You have a new kids, it's understandable, you have to find a balance in your life to do the things for you also. And like you said, you are paying for it regardless.

I am/was in the exact same situation. I always felt a twinge of guilt when I would do it. I still do. This answer will differ from person to peron, and family to family. You mention that you feel guilty doing it. I think that just shows how much you love your son. However, you need some 'me' time. As SheriffBooth mentioned, you wil want to make sure that your wife is allowed the same 'me time' as well. If you take 4-5 hours for yourself once every two weeks it's not like you are leaving him every day.

Take advantage of it while you can. It has gotten increasingly harder for me to have time to play golf as my son has hit the toddler age (3). He now knows when I am going to play golf because of what I wear. He will beg and plead for me to stay at home and play with him. I normally end up staying home and playing with him because I get wrecked with guilt if I still go after that. The round loses it's fun and appeal. I still fit golf in, I just have to be more creative about when it happens.

It sounds like you have thought about this alot. That is a great first step. Playing golf occasionally will not warp his childhood. If you are thinking about it this much, you are bound to make the best decision for your family.

[quote name='bhj83' timestamp='1393343324' post='8741564']
[quote name='SheriffBooth' timestamp='1393342821' post='8741498']
I wouldn't feel too badly about it. Not to say it's not important to spend time with your child and family, but assuming you're doing that nights and weekends I can't see much harm in using your Monday off for a little golf. Be mindful that your wife will need/want her own free time too, most likely on the weekends, so maybe that's the fair trade?
[/quote]

Yep, nights and weekends for sure. I also encourage my wife to have some time to herself all of the time and even try to make her plan stuff haha. She's one of those people that doesn't really have a hobby that she's passionate about so that can be difficult at times.
[/quote]

My wife is the same way. She doesn't have any hobbies. She feels like if she isn't working which is a lot, she has to spend time with our child. I'm always saying go do something with your friends and get away from family life. She is going to go crazy or drive me nuts, one of the other. I was going to buy her a membership to a tennis club just to give her something to do but we found out #2 is on the way so I guess I can get that for her next year.

You have to take time out for yourself. It doesn't make you a bad father for doing that. I think that's where my guilt comes from. Two kids (4 and almost 2) - they are the center of my world but I still need to be away from them. I am leaving them for Myrtle beach for 4 days...I feel so guilty already.

Why the hel! are you asking us .... What did the wife say?

[quote name='shaffe' timestamp='1393344244' post='8741698']
Why the hel! are you asking us .... What did the wife say?
[/quote]

Haha...well, I kind of just told her I was planning to play golf yesterday. She didn't really say anything, but I kind of got the feeling from her body language that she would've preferred that I stayed home with him. Then again, as I mentioned earlier, she doesn't really have any hobbies so she wouldn't have anything better to do on a day off...

3 month old boy? Get him fit with some Tour issue Fisher Price and strap the car seat in the cart!

[quote name='KILLEDBYASHANKEDWEDGE' timestamp='1393344869' post='8741772']
3 month old boy? Get him fit with some Tour issue Fisher Price and strap the car seat in the cart!
[/quote]

Maybe when the weather warms up It was 40 degrees yesterday. Someone needs to come up with a Baby Bjorn type thing that doesn't get in the way of your swing!

[quote name='bhj83' timestamp='1393345013' post='8741796']
[quote name='KILLEDBYASHANKEDWEDGE' timestamp='1393344869' post='8741772']
3 month old boy? Get him fit with some Tour issue Fisher Price and strap the car seat in the cart!
[/quote]

Maybe when the weather warms up It was 40 degrees yesterday. Someone needs to come up with a Baby Bjorn type thing that doesn't get in the way of your swing!
[/quote]

Get one of those joggers and strap your clubs to the side. I zip tied my Sunday bag to the back of my son's jogger. I was able to get out and play 9 a few times during the summer doing that.

Until they start offering golf carts with seat belts where you play, a sitter is going to be a lot safer than the car seat in a golf cart.

Do NOT feel bad. Seriously, just because you have a child it does not mean you have to leave behind the things you loved prior to being a parent. You just have to do more balancing and compromising.

Soure: I have a 1 1/2 year old daughter.

Think this is one of those "no wrong answer" situations. I faced similar situations when my kids were younger and I chose to not golf, and glad now that I did. But that's only relevant to me and my situation.

I'm in the same boat. We pay for the week even if the little guy isn't there. I would suggest dropping him off for a 1/2 day, playing a round, then picking the little one up early. I have already done that numerous times, not for golf but it easier getting stuff done at home with giving him total attention. Plus you are paying for it.

[quote name='KILLEDBYASHANKEDWEDGE' timestamp='1393344869' post='8741772']
3 month old boy? Get him fit with some Tour issue Fisher Price and strap the car seat in the cart!
[/quote]

But should he get his son Fisher Price SGI's or FP blades?

I am not suggesting what you should do, only you can answer that question, but this is what I would do. I say "would have" in past tense as both of my kids are older now, 12 and 16. If I could go back, and hind sight is 20/20, for me personally I would spend every second I could spend with my kids when they were babies. They grow up so fast. I wish I could go back and have those days back.

One day you may feel like I do and wish your kids were still babies. I can play golf the rest of my life. I can't have time with my kids when they are "kids" for the rest of my life.

That is just me looking back. I don't miss much of anything they do for golf. I fit my golf around my kids. But to each their own.

You'll find a balance. There is nothing wrong at all with what you did. Sure as a parent you want to be there for as much as possible, but you also need to take some time to yourself now and then. It'll keep you mentally fresh and make you a better parent.

[quote name='DavePelz4' timestamp='1393351916' post='8742558']
[quote name='KILLEDBYASHANKEDWEDGE' timestamp='1393344869' post='8741772']
3 month old boy? Get him fit with some Tour issue Fisher Price and strap the car seat in the cart!
[/quote]

But should he get his son Fisher Price SGI's or FP blades?
[/quote]


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[quote name='DavePelz4' timestamp='1393351916' post='8742558']
[quote name='KILLEDBYASHANKEDWEDGE' timestamp='1393344869' post='8741772']
3 month old boy? Get him fit with some Tour issue Fisher Price and strap the car seat in the cart!
[/quote]

But should he get his son Fisher Price SGI's or FP blades?
[/quote]

Got to go with blades, he'll learn to be a better ball striker.

Op, look at it this way; taking care of yourself will make you a better father. I have summers off and I still bring my boy (who I love more than everything) to pre-school/summer camp. He gets a chance to hang with his peers (finger paint and WETF) and I take care of me. I usually pick him up early to hang with him, but that solo time goes a long -long- way for your morale.

Once in a while maybe. It might sound corny but you will feel like you blink and he will be 15. My experience is you will not regret a second you spend with him but you might regret not doing it.

Having kids is 50 times harder and 100 times more fun than I ever would have though possible.

Also ........get him the blades.

I was in a very similar situation when my first child went to daycare. I worked a job where I had Sundays and a weekday off. I didn't play every week but when I did my wife would drop my son off at daycare on her way to work and I would go get him when I was done. I usually had him picked up by noon so he was only in daycare for 4 or 5 hours and I got some time to relax. Then my son and I had the rest of the day together.

I have an older cousin of mine with a 3 month old baby (who by the way is fatter and cuter than all of your respective babies combined) and he takes him out to the golf course with him. The little guy gets some sunshine and outdoor air and my cousin gets to play golf. He usually puts him on the grass behind the ball like a trackman!

[quote name='np78' timestamp='1393343091' post='8741526']
I have a nanny watch my kids on Saturday mid morning so I can play. Otherwise I'd lose my mind.
[/quote]

Me too...Sat she comes at 12:30 - I am on the first tee by 1:15.

I do it all of the time man. I did all of the time last year.. I drop my 2 now 3 year old off around 930 and they eat arond 1130 and nap from 12ish to 2. So, I tee of at 10 and Iam usaully picking her up around 230. So, really I am just paying somone to watch my kid sleep. Don't feel bad about it because you and the misses need some time away from the child together or separate.. Good luck man and in no time you will be able to take your kid on the golf course at your own risk