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Unique golf phrases/words that you use...


Mike_C

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[quote name='knockdstiff' timestamp='1409993075' post='10074175']
Putt left severely short:

"Did the putter get caught in your skirt?"
[/quote]

In our group we always say "I never thought of laying up"

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I have a few cocky friends I play with. Thing is they struggle to break 90 and I'm a 4 hdcp. When they start getting annoying I'll wait until I blow a drive well past them. I'll then ask them if they've heard about that new Super Walmart they are building? If they say where, I say between your ball and mine. They hate that.

You didn't plan to fail, you failed to plan!

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Have a few good ones
A son in law shot
Not quite what we expected
Mother in law shot
You know ure up there and you know you shouldn't be
Ryanair shot
Looked good taking off but landed nowhere near where it should have
My personal favourite
Removal in thompsons funeral home at 630
When one of my regular four ball hits an errant shot never to be seen again
In ireland when people die part of the funeral process is friends and family would gather at funeral home to pay their respects to the deceased

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My dad has a name for everything i swear. I love it. He comes up with crap all the time.

Buddy of mine will say when you stick a shot really close you knocked it tighter than a nuns c***. Kills me

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[quote name='isles1' timestamp='1409942121' post='10071177']
One of our caddies on the old course called a pulled shot a Mickey Mantle, "A dead Yank"
[/quote]

I've heard this one referred to also as a "Billy Martin."

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Played with a guy in a tourney one time that called his ball "white boy". Sounds simple, but when attached to the end of normal phrases it had me dying laughing.

"Get down white boy!"
"Go in white boy!"
"Where the hell you going white boy?"

Pretty comical.

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  • 4 years later...

Bumping an old thread. Anybody got any new ones?

 

Wanted to add one I use now and then when somebody ask for help on a long putt: Keep it low, or I would flight this one down......

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> @DeCuchi said:

> I have a few cocky friends I play with. Thing is they struggle to break 90 and I'm a 4 hdcp. When they start getting annoying I'll wait until I blow a drive well past them. I'll then ask them if they've heard about that new Super Walmart they are building? If they say where, I say between your ball and mine. They hate that.

 

I play with similar group, but am always accused of playing a Linda Ronstadt. (Blue Bayou). I tell them I'd hit it shorter, but I don't like to talk to them in the fairway.

 

Maybe we should have a new one. Had A Duvall. (snowman or greater for hole)

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I dunno if it was unique to us or not but on my high school team, we adopted the term "mule" as a distance of measurement equal to approximately 100 yards. It could also be a verb to describe a long drive:

 

*hits big drive*

"How far was that?"

"About three mule."

"Damn - muled it."

 

I still use this on occasion and people look at me weird; so I guess it was just us.

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My friend's wife always uses, "oh, damn, my purse got in the way" on a putt that comes up well short.

 

My favorite for that situation that always makes people crack up:

"Next time, make sure your labia are out of the way before you hit." (yes, I have used that when playing with the ladies, but never on one of their putts).

 

Another personal fave for a hard pull left:

"Yanked that like a teenager watching porn".

 

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"Feels good when you pull it"

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> @"Ed Settle" said:

> knockdstiff wrote:

>

>

>

> Putt left severely short:

>

>

>

> "Did the putter get caught in your skirt?"

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> In our group we always say "I never thought of laying up"

 

From that lie? Smart golf

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I have a few that are off-color. One of them is a bit despicable so I don’t often use it but it is a somewhat modern day variant of the Liberace. I like Liberace better and so will be using that going forward. A caddie in California told me the despicable one, and it had to do with someone who is now in jail for his actions. I’ll stop there.

 

Anyway, another couple:

 

Prom date - all lip and no hole

Porn star, for when a putt “came across the face”.

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> @3ack said:

> I once played with someone who had a decently long putt and as it was on a good line about halfway to the hole he just yells "ROLL THAT BEAUTIFUL BEAN FOOTAGE!" out of nowhere. It was pretty funny.

 

On another food-related note: when you have a fast downhill putt for example and just need to get it started I like to use the phrase "just kiss that egg"

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a good lie in the rough - 'sittin up like a honeymoon d*ck'

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A Seve is any amazing shot that is unconventional from trouble. Hit it on the green from next to a fence...that's a Seve. Hit it in-between tree limbs...that's a Seve.

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