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POLL: Urinating on the course...


stealthrt91

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I'm 63 years old and am at the age where I could get a sudden urge to go. I usually go at the clubhouse and again at the halfway loo with no problems. But several times I've found myself meandering into a thicket of hedge and relieving myself. If anyone is around (hopefully 200 yds or more), I'll shuffle around, like I'm looking for a ball. Coffee plays a large part of the problem, so I shouldn't drink it before a round. That sucks . . . no coffee first thing in the morning. But I'm not going the adult diaper route.

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  • 5 weeks later...

Mixed armed forced evening dinner and an army guy and airforce guy in the restroom together.

 

Army guy finishes and washes hands as airforce guy goes to leave without doing so.

 

'In the army, says the army guy, they taught us to wash our hands afterwards.'

 

Airforce guy 'in the airforce they taught us not to pi$$ on our hands in the first place.'

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  • 3 weeks later...

I play with a guy that can stealth pi$$ better than anyone.

 

He can stand in the middle of a a fairway with one hand in his pocket near the back of the cart and pretend to be busy cleaning a club or checking his GPS and it almost impossible to tell what is really going on.

 

His body language is so nonchallant

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  • 3 weeks later...

My dad owned a small roofing company growing up. As such he taught me the art of stealth peeing. Spend 10 straight hours on a residential roof in a busy neighborhood in the summer drinking 2 gallons of water on a 90 degree day and tell me you can hold it? Yeah right. If you were lucky they might have a chimney around. The biggest takeaway was that so long you as it didn't look like you were taking a leak most people wouldn't pay no attention to you. So just whip it out and go but be pointing at things and in general trying to make it look like you were doing something other then peeing. He was a roofer for 20 years and never had a problem, but this was long enough ago that folk weren't so overly sensitive and probably most importantly everyone wasn't walking around carrying a handheld computer that could also record what he was doing and call the cops at the same time.

 

To the issue at hand, yes, of course I go on the course. No I will never have a problem as there I no way that anyone will ever see me doing it. Every course around here has sufficient woods to go in to take a leak so it's never an issue. I'll stop short of going in the woods and go behind a tree (but never one that should be in play for anyone so as to not expose them to urine) but only after several 360 scans to make sure no one is within view. Now my little golfing buddy who's 5 doesn't have the pee control game developed yet so when he has to go he HAS TO GO. In that situation we be as discreet as possible, but since he's still a full "drop trow" pee'er its possible that a few people have been mooned by him. But he's 5. I doubt anyone would take exception.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I usually pee behind the port-o-john. They make great cover!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Several years ago I was playing at one of our nearby munis when, on about hole #7, the urge to go hit me. I fought the good fight and held it until we got to the turn and the snack bar and bathrooms, and I was rewarded by opening the bathroom and being hit with the most God awful stench, a screaming and crying child, and a dad with crap on his hands turning and screaming at me to "CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!!!". Needless to say, I almost pissed my pants. I was scarred from the stench and the sight, and I've never been the same. I ended up finding a convenient row of shrubs and took care of my business right there. Since that day, I've lived by the motto "When I gotta go, I gotta go", and I just find the nearest discreet spot.

 

P.S. This is why I think parents should use their best judgement before deciding to bring their kids to the golf course to play a round with them.

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I just can't understand how people can get through life if they can't anticipate the need to go in ten minutes. Yet certain shrubs next to 2nd and 11th tee boxes have a distinctively different color thanks to them being used as public bathrooms. I use the loo at the turn and before/after the round

 

I'm not sure how the temperatures in Finland are, but if you play in the midwest during the thick of summer, the hummidity is enough to kill you. Sometimes you have to constantly drink water...a lot of times that leads to having to take a leak before the turn without a stall for a few holes. It just happens sometimes and is unavoidable. It's not pleasant, but just be discreet.

 

This. However, replace the word "water" with "beer".

 

-Bishop

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 11 months later...

I play with a guy that can stealth pi$$ better than anyone.

 

He can stand in the middle of a a fairway with one hand in his pocket near the back of the cart and pretend to be busy cleaning a club or checking his GPS and it almost impossible to tell what is really going on.

 

His body language is so nonchallant

I played with that guy a few months ago. Bugged the sh+t out of me. If you want to pee in the woods, or in the cactus here in Phoenix, that's fine but not in the middle of the fairway. Please no!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Played a fairly high profile mountain course in our area a few weeks back. The starter gave us the usual directions, location of facilities and then indicated the other facility, 360 degrees around us. There was more brown grass from elk pee.

 

On Monday mens night past, I watched two beer guzzling team mates, stand on either side of the porta pottie , to takea.

 

Just don't get arrested

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Don’t like to change the feel of my bladder until the clubhouse. It throws my game off.

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  • 5 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

I'm definitely on the more liberal side of judging an appropriate location, as I've had renal system health problems and I hate playing while holding back urine, I think it makes me too tense.

 

Obviously, you don't want guys flapping it out in front of women and children, but I think it's lame some women seem to complain if a guy discreetly goes in the bushes simply because they can't. My wife is outdoorsy and she squats and pees outside pretty easily, so I don't get the issue. If you want to let loose, make sure no one's in the line of sight of your privates and let it rip. I've very rarely found a place on a golf course that seems negatively effected by too much urine, either by smell or damage to the plant life. I think those complaints are largely fictitious.

 

One course I play recently put up signs on the walk up to the 8th green that actually cites the local ordinance. Seems to be an extreme measure, but I guess it keeps the neighbors happy. I guess if they call the police they can say you were warned although I've never heard of that happening.

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