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Most ridiculous thing heard on the range


StarFleetGolfer

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There’s an old man at my course who comes wandering over to the practice green to give unsolicited short game lessons. I have no idea where he comes from or where he walks off to after (not the parking lot). There’s a decent chance he’s homeless and/or some type of predator. He’s also got a thick Scottish accent and talks about links golf non-stop, so there’s a chance he’s a ghost. I’d say any of those options are equally likely.

Former professional golfer. Current amateur human being.

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A nice older gentleman who’s there just to let his young grandchildren hit some balls says to me “You hitting those 300 yards?”

 

Now that qualifies as ridiculous! I politely told him that my shots were carrying 240-250 and that was only because there was a lot of tailwind...

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Had a good one today.

 

3 guys show up at the range. All look youngish and give the “good golfer” vibe. Youngest guy sets up to hit driver (standing about 6 feet away from the ball), hits a decent drive, and proceeds to brag to his buddies about how he’s now hitting it flush and it is going to the back of the range and why wasn’t he doing that last time. Note that my 3 iron was going past his driver (no brag, just that he wasn’t all that). He then sets up to hit 3 wood and cold tops 3 of them, puts it down, and says words to the effect of “I’ll just hit the driver today “.

 

I’d bet he was a 20 hcp. Talked like he was a 5.

 

Had a guy at member-member dinner tonight claim to hit hybrid 250. He’s a 25 hcp.

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Would you mind if I hit your BRAND NEW JUST GOT HERE EXPENSIVE DRIVER?

 

Not happening! Lol...

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Had a guy at member-member dinner tonight claim to hit hybrid 250. He's a 25 hcp.

 

TL;DR - handicap is not at all a good indicator of potential distance.

 

Just for arguments sake, this is entirely possible. My wife's brother used to be like this (he's a better golfer now, cause he plays more). Incredible athlete, played NCAA hockey for Union and generates a ton of swing speed (and a lot of distance), but zero consistency a couple years back. I've seen him hit multiple drives that are in the 350 range (my city is at ~3500ft elevation, but it's still a long drive). Before he started practising/playing more though, I'm sure he was a 25 cap that could hit a hybrid 250.

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Yeah HCP has little correlation to distance. A guy joined our club who's the first 30 HCP anyone has ever met and he legit hits the ball 270-280 off the tee.

 

The issue is very few of them find the correct fairway. And on the par fives when he has a mid iron into the green, umpteen bits of turf will fly down the fairway before he makes contact with the ball.

 

He had a 14 on a par 3 last week for heaven's sake.

 

But if you only saw the one tee shot that hits the correct fairway you'd think he was a player. Everyone's terrified of getting him in the ballotted medal when any HCP gets paired together because two things are guaranteed:

 

1) You'll be letting groups play through as you'll be looking for a ball on every shot.

 

2) You'll hear "There's definitely a golfer in here I just need to make a few more putts" every tee box.

 

But no, distance has no bearing on HCP and vice versa.

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TL;DR - handicap is not at all a good indicator of potential distance.

Yeah HCP has little correlation to distance. A guy joined our club who's the first 30 HCP anyone has ever met and he legit hits the ball 270-280 off the tee.

...........................

But no, distance has no bearing on HCP and vice versa.

 

A lot of people know someone who who can hit the crap out of the ball but can't keep it on the course or make it go in the hole. That is the exception, not the rule. There is a very strong correlation between handicap and distance. You'll find very few 5 handicaps who can't get it out there a ways, and very few 25 handicaps who can.

 

This chart has made it onto a number of golf websites.

http://www.swingmangolf.com/average-golf-swing-speed-chart-2/

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I knew if I didn’t clarify I’d get this response. I saw him swing in a little closest to the pin contest. He can’t hit a hybrid 250. He’s very likely someone who also claims to hit 300 yd drives.

 

I do have one friend with a massive out to in slice, but he is a BIG BOY and he can definitely hit 275+ yard drives if he actually makes good contact, etc, so I know it is possible. But it ain’t probable.

 

But I should probably shut up since I shot 9 strokes above my handicap in our first round today (all in the back 9). I could just tell this guy was “that guy” within 5 seconds of him opening his mouth. Bragged about all kinds of things.

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I knew if I didn't clarify I'd get this response. I saw him swing in a little closest to the pin contest. He can't hit a hybrid 250. He's very likely someone who also claims to hit 300 yd drives.

 

I do have one friend with a massive out to in slice, but he is a BIG BOY and he can definitely hit 275+ yard drives if he actually makes good contact, etc, so I know it is possible. But it ain't probable.

 

But I should probably shut up since I shot 9 strokes above my handicap in our first round today (all in the back 9). I could just tell this guy was "that guy" within 5 seconds of him opening his mouth. Bragged about all kinds of things.

 

The probability of you shooting 9 over your handicap is way, way higher than a 25 handicap hitting a hybrid 250 yards.

 

Now, if you shoot 9 UNDER your handicap, we need to talk. :)

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Had this happen recently, empty driving range except for a few guys hitting off mats. I walk to the end with my small bucket to hit off the grass, checking out some wedges. Two kids walk up and park it 5 ft to my back side, one kid had two large plastic range buckets (empty) the other two large full buckets. Kid with the empty buckets throws down a ball and frames the it with the buckets. He then sayʻs to his buddy “ this will get rid of your slice “ he then takes out a 5 wood and blasts the outside bucket waist high at me i give it the “oleʻ” move and give em the “WTH” look. lol

Kid is petrified, i said letʻs try this guys. “Give me two teeʻs, letʻs put one back right and front left (gate drill) now you wonʻt smack anybody and maybe help get rid of the slice.” They looked relieved. Probably about 10-12 yrs old.

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Had this happen recently, empty driving range except for a few guys hitting off mats. I walk to the end with my small bucket to hit off the grass, checking out some wedges. Two kids walk up and park it 5 ft to my back side, one kid had two large plastic range buckets (empty) the other two large full buckets. Kid with the empty buckets throws down a ball and frames the it with the buckets. He then sayʻs to his buddy “ this will get rid of your slice “ he then takes out a 5 wood and blasts the outside bucket waist high at me i give it the “oleʻ” move and give em the “WTH” look. lol

Kid is petrified, i said letʻs try this guys. “Give me two teeʻs, letʻs put one back right and front left (gate drill) now you wonʻt smack anybody and maybe help get rid of the slice.” They looked relieved. Probably about 10-12 yrs old.

 

Good on you GW for helping them out instead of just chewing them out.

 


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TL;DR - handicap is not at all a good indicator of potential distance.

Yeah HCP has little correlation to distance. A guy joined our club who's the first 30 HCP anyone has ever met and he legit hits the ball 270-280 off the tee.

...........................

But no, distance has no bearing on HCP and vice versa.

 

A lot of people know someone who who can hit the crap out of the ball but can't keep it on the course or make it go in the hole. That is the exception, not the rule.

 

Guilty. The Grint says I am 14-16. Distance says I should be better, double bogeys argue against it. Three jacks conspire against my handicap as well.

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I knew if I didn't clarify I'd get this response. I saw him swing in a little closest to the pin contest. He can't hit a hybrid 250. He's very likely someone who also claims to hit 300 yd drives.

 

I do have one friend with a massive out to in slice, but he is a BIG BOY and he can definitely hit 275+ yard drives if he actually makes good contact, etc, so I know it is possible. But it ain't probable.

 

But I should probably shut up since I shot 9 strokes above my handicap in our first round today (all in the back 9). I could just tell this guy was "that guy" within 5 seconds of him opening his mouth. Bragged about all kinds of things.

 

The probability of you shooting 9 over your handicap is way, way higher than a 25 handicap hitting a hybrid 250 yards.

 

Now, if you shoot 9 UNDER your handicap, we need to talk. :)

 

I followed up my first day with essentially the exact same performance the second day. Lost about 9 strokes to my handicap, all on 9 holes. I looked like a decent golfer for half of the tournament. And looked like a 25 hcp for the other half. And my partner was easily 10 strokes worse than I've ever seen him play. The ultimate karma? The group that contained the guy that was bragging about his 250 yd hybrids finished second. So I think I will just shut up about my "heard / seen at the range" stories next time :-)

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I knew if I didn't clarify I'd get this response. I saw him swing in a little closest to the pin contest. He can't hit a hybrid 250. He's very likely someone who also claims to hit 300 yd drives.

 

I do have one friend with a massive out to in slice, but he is a BIG BOY and he can definitely hit 275+ yard drives if he actually makes good contact, etc, so I know it is possible. But it ain't probable.

 

But I should probably shut up since I shot 9 strokes above my handicap in our first round today (all in the back 9). I could just tell this guy was "that guy" within 5 seconds of him opening his mouth. Bragged about all kinds of things.

 

The probability of you shooting 9 over your handicap is way, way higher than a 25 handicap hitting a hybrid 250 yards.

 

Now, if you shoot 9 UNDER your handicap, we need to talk. :)

 

I followed up my first day with essentially the exact same performance the second day. Lost about 9 strokes to my handicap, all on 9 holes. I looked like a decent golfer for half of the tournament. And looked like a 25 hcp for the other half. And my partner was easily 10 strokes worse than I've ever seen him play. The ultimate karma? The group that contained the guy that was bragging about his 250 yd hybrids finished second. So I think I will just shut up about my "heard / seen at the range" stories next time :-)

 

It’s hard to ignore an American Loudmouth Doosh sighting.

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I knew if I didn't clarify I'd get this response. I saw him swing in a little closest to the pin contest. He can't hit a hybrid 250. He's very likely someone who also claims to hit 300 yd drives.

 

I do have one friend with a massive out to in slice, but he is a BIG BOY and he can definitely hit 275+ yard drives if he actually makes good contact, etc, so I know it is possible. But it ain't probable.

 

But I should probably shut up since I shot 9 strokes above my handicap in our first round today (all in the back 9). I could just tell this guy was "that guy" within 5 seconds of him opening his mouth. Bragged about all kinds of things.

 

The probability of you shooting 9 over your handicap is way, way higher than a 25 handicap hitting a hybrid 250 yards.

 

Now, if you shoot 9 UNDER your handicap, we need to talk. :)

 

I followed up my first day with essentially the exact same performance the second day. Lost about 9 strokes to my handicap, all on 9 holes. I looked like a decent golfer for half of the tournament. And looked like a 25 hcp for the other half. And my partner was easily 10 strokes worse than I've ever seen him play. The ultimate karma? The group that contained the guy that was bragging about his 250 yd hybrids finished second. So I think I will just shut up about my "heard / seen at the range" stories next time :-)

 

Its hard to ignore an American Loudmouth Doosh sighting.

 

Especially when he backs it up

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My partner and I - last weekend. Predawn. We usually arrive an hour before our first tee time to warm up.

On this day, it seemed we were facing a two hour frost delay.

Midway thru the buckets, standing in the gloom, looking at ice crystals forming around our feet on the practice mats, realizing we were going to end up in the clubhouse waiting for quite some time, I looked up and said, "We are just being idiots now, aren't we?"

Partner agrees and decides, "Well, let's finish these and we can always come back out a half hour before they let us play."

 

So we did. Two dopes in the dark.

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A husband and wife hitting balls on the two mats behind me a couple of nights ago. Husband is clunking it all over the place. Thin shots, fat shots, a few hosel bombs that fly through my line of vision. I never turn around, and the husband is getting cranky. Lots of awesome comments:

"It's like I don't even know what I'm doing!"

"My 7 iron is going further than my 3 iron!"

"This is the worst range session I've ever had!"

 

He goes at it for quite awhile and finally the wife says:

"You don't hit the ball very good when I'm here, but it sounds like you hit them great when I stay home!"

 

I detected no sarcasm at all, but I could hear the husband seething.

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  • 3 weeks later...

"These range balls don't go nowhere."

 

"It's easier to swing in jeans."

 

"The First Settlers on Thanksgiving had goose and fish, not turkey."

 

"I was hitting it so much further on the range"

 

"Man, range balls suck, I hit it much further on the course"

 

choose one

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Take that Tiger!

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“Check your Ego at the Club House and Play the Correct Tees”

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I was hitting balls at work over lunch and member comes over, exchanged pleasantries we had not seen each other since spring as he went north to New York area. He saw I had an orange whip leaning against my bag. He asked if he could use it and I said of course, so he grabs it and proceeds to tee up a ball and I asked, “Mr. so-and-so, ah what are you doing?” And he says well “I’ve always wanted to try this...don’t you have to swing perfectly to hit it straight with the ball at the end and keep a smooth tempo because of the flexy shaft?” I just laughed and explained what it actually is, but that he might have a great idea for a new swing trainer. I spent the rest of the day wondering if that would work, in too scared to try it though....maybe I’ll ask an intern lol.

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I was hitting balls at work over lunch and member comes over, exchanged pleasantries we had not seen each other since spring as he went north to New York area. He saw I had an orange whip leaning against my bag. He asked if he could use it and I said of course, so he grabs it and proceeds to tee up a ball and I asked, “Mr. so-and-so, ah what are you doing?” And he says well “I’ve always wanted to try this...don’t you have to swing perfectly to hit it straight with the ball at the end and keep a smooth tempo because of the flexy shaft?” I just laughed and explained what it actually is, but that he might have a great idea for a new swing trainer. I spent the rest of the day wondering if that would work, in too scared to try it though....maybe I’ll ask an intern lol.

 

Don't spend too much time on it: http://tempomaster.com/

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I was hitting balls at work over lunch and member comes over, exchanged pleasantries we had not seen each other since spring as he went north to New York area. He saw I had an orange whip leaning against my bag. He asked if he could use it and I said of course, so he grabs it and proceeds to tee up a ball and I asked, “Mr. so-and-so, ah what are you doing?” And he says well “I’ve always wanted to try this...don’t you have to swing perfectly to hit it straight with the ball at the end and keep a smooth tempo because of the flexy shaft?” I just laughed and explained what it actually is, but that he might have a great idea for a new swing trainer. I spent the rest of the day wondering if that would work, in too scared to try it though....maybe I’ll ask an intern lol.

 

Don't spend too much time on it: http://tempomaster.com/

 

Doesn’t have the ball though. You’d have to be the ultimate ball striker

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I was hitting balls at work over lunch and member comes over, exchanged pleasantries we had not seen each other since spring as he went north to New York area. He saw I had an orange whip leaning against my bag. He asked if he could use it and I said of course, so he grabs it and proceeds to tee up a ball and I asked, “Mr. so-and-so, ah what are you doing?” And he says well “I’ve always wanted to try this...don’t you have to swing perfectly to hit it straight with the ball at the end and keep a smooth tempo because of the flexy shaft?” I just laughed and explained what it actually is, but that he might have a great idea for a new swing trainer. I spent the rest of the day wondering if that would work, in too scared to try it though....maybe I’ll ask an intern lol.

 

Don't spend too much time on it: http://tempomaster.com/

 

Doesn’t have the ball though. You’d have to be the ultimate ball striker

I’ve tried out of boredom , it’s comes off the ball interestingly. Kind of like a trick shot

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Some old guy at the chipping green told me to put a cracker in my mouth to reduce tension when chipping and pitching. NO JOKE he pulls out some friggin saltines and offers one, I said no thanks hahahahha it was so strange I just kept giggling through out the session.

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