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Unworthy par


Habrownlee

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Why do the Golf Gods play games and twist the knives into my soul?

Today on 14 par 3 over water to an green guarded by a huge oak on left. I pull my 7 iron hits cart math 3 times and ends up 20 yards back left. 2nd shot is over a 20 ft hill to a runaway green with a lake long. I shrug open my 58 degree wedge took a full Phil Mickelson swing and flew the stupid ball to within 6” !!

Now the Gods of golf decided I was way too lucky I didn’t have a good swing from then till I picked up in disgust on 18! Man I love this game!

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No such thing as an unworthy par.

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I once had an undeserved birdie of epic proportions: Cypress at Sunol, 18: 475 yard par 5 with a marsh/bushes 250 out on the right and left and a dry creek across the fairway. Trying to keep it short of that I block it right into the bushes. My next shot was a sideways putter from the bushes that I walloped a good 100 yards with 100 yards of slice, putting me on the left side of fairway 160 out. Shot 3 was short, leaving me 40 feet up to the upper teir. I barely aimed the putt, which had to roll onto and off of the fringe on its trip. But it did go for a very undeserved birdie...

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Well, long story from 1995. I'll tell the whole thing to set it up, but the 18th hole the second day is relevant to the thread...

 

OK, here goes...

 

To set it up, I have never been a tournament player, my nerves always get the best of me. I was usually a rules official at the big events so I would feel like part of the gang. In 1995 the Minnesota PGA Championship was set to be at the Pines in Brainerd, a very tough course if played from the back tees. The owner is n old friend of mine, and he talked me into playing instead of officiating.

 

So I get there, nervous as all get out and my nightmare is confirmed, the course is set up all the way back and very tough. It was just under 7200 yards, and 20 years go that was a long golf course with balata balls and very tight. I had to figure out a way to break 80 and not embarrass myself too badly. I decided I would keep the driver in the bag and try to find the fairways with 3 wood, even though I would have very long shots left to the par 4’s.

 

I start out pretty good, 4 solid pars. The 5thhole is pretty short and tight, I hit 3 iron off the tee. I’ve just got a PW left, about 110 yards but all carry over water to a tight pin. I hit it about 130 yards and have a really tough pitch down the hill towards the water. I chicken out and leave my pitch about 20 feet short and three putt. Yikes, if you knew me you would realize that after double, I am trying to figure out in my head how many bogeys I can make and still break 80.

 

Then lightning strikes. #6, chip in for eagle from 20 feet. #7 is the scariest 160 yard par three I have ever played. Somehow manage to hit a 7 iron on and two putt from 50 feet. #8 is a good par 4, I hit 3 wood off the tee, but a little left. There is a gap between a couple big trees I can hit it through. I am about 160 yards with a back pin. I’m going to try to get a 9 iron on the front of the green and try to two putt from there for par. I catch a flyer, big time, and it goes in!

 

#9 I’m not thinking about where I stand, and hit a 5 iron to 6 inches. I barely shake the putt in for birdie. For some reason we were behind and rushed to the 10thtee. Without thinking about where I stand I stripe it down the middle with driver, first driver of the day, and knock it on the par 5 in two, two putts for birdie. Now I realize what’s happening, I’m 4 under! Now I start thinking, man I can now make lots of bogeys and still break 80. I make a bunch of solid pars and get to the 16thtee. Now I’m thinking, hell, forget 80, I can be a contender and maybe get my name in the newspaper. You guessed it, 16 is a good par four and I take out my 3 wood and cold top it about 50 yards. Somehow I manage to make a great bogey and finish par – par coming in. After round one I’m tied for the lead at 69. The guys I am tied with are Steve Whillock, a really good guy, fairly new to our section just coming off the mini tours. The other was George Shortridge, a former tour player and at that time fully exempt on the senior tour. George was the best player at the time and we all looked up to him as though he was Jack Nicklaus. I couldn’t choke down much dinner, so I just drank a whole bunch of Brandy Manhattans. I was scared to death. I didn’t sleep much that night, and woke up VERY hung-over.

 

This is getting too long already, but the first 16 holes were pretty uneventful. George had been stiffing it all day, and never made a putt. I was even through 16 and I had made every putt I looked at all day including an 80 footer for birdie on #9. You know what I had been thinking… don’t make any big numbers and don’t embarrass yourself. Try to break 80 twice in a row. Steve was having a tough day and was about 6 over, George and I were tied. George should have been 6 under if he made anything at all, and I was hitting it like a fifteen handicapper, but putting out of my mind.

 

On the 17thtee it dawned on me. Breaking 80 is not a question, and I am tied for the lead! 17 is a long par 4 and I striped a 3 wood off the tee about 220 yards. George hits driver about 300 and just has a little 9 iron in. The pin is cut on the far right of the green behind a bunker with about 10 feet of green to work with behind the pin. No way I can go at that pin with my 3 iron. I aim at the left side of the green and push slice it. It lands in the long grass which slows it down and it rolls about 6 feet past the pin. George decides to hit a little 8 at the pin and catches a flyer and goes way over the green into the woods. He somehow makes bogey from there, a great bogey. You know I’m nervous now that I realize I am tied. I leave my 6 footer 3 feet short, and somehow shake in the 3 footer I left myself. I have the lead!!!

 

18 is a great par five through the woods with water left and short of the green. I have the honor, and of course there is no chance I’m going to hit driver. I snap hooked my three wood about 50 yards into the deep dark forest. George kills a driver down the right side of the fairway about 300 yards again. I realize he can get there in two, and have to figure out a way to make five for a playoff. I am so deep in the woods I can’t even figure out a way to chip out. I’m on a cart path with a bare lie, but don’t want to drop into the rough. The only way out I can find is to hit a pitching wedge up and over the trees towards the fairway. I blade it. It never gets up over knee high and miraculously doesn’t hit anything. To top it off, I hit that wedge so badly that it rolled about 200 yards down the fairway! George can get home, but has a tough shot to a back left pin over the water. He hits the most beautiful 3 wood I had ever seen. He has 15 feet for eagle. I have about 100 yards, and for the first time notice we have a sizable gallery. Oh my, please let me not chunk it into the water. I semi=blade my Pitching wedge over the green into a bunker. I hear one of the other pros say “Yep George wins again.” That really pissed me off. Now I’ve got about a 20 foot bunker shot staring at the water about 15 feet behind the pin, and the green is running away from me. I catch it fat, it catches the rough which slows it down and it rolls down the hill about 6 feet past the pin. I sort of black out at this point, George charges the eagle and three putts and I somehow make my 6 footer for par, and all I can remember are all the pros running onto the green to shake my hand.

 

Funny thing, at the awards ceremony the executive director of the PGA gave me a form to fill out for Q-school. I was exempted into the second stage! I just laughed at him. George out played me tee to green by at least 10 shots, but I got the trophy. That is my story of how a HACK wins the PGA. The next year I went back with some friends to play. That cart path on 18 was now a road to a new neighborhood. They named it Carter Drive!

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Well, long story from 1995. I'll tell the whole thing to set it up, but the 18th hole the second day is relevant to the thread...

 

OK, here goes...

 

To set it up, I have never been a tournament player, my nerves always get the best of me. I was usually a rules official at the big events so I would feel like part of the gang. In 1995 the Minnesota PGA Championship was set to be at the Pines in Brainerd, a very tough course if played from the back tees. The owner is n old friend of mine, and he talked me into playing instead of officiating.

 

So I get there, nervous as all get out and my nightmare is confirmed, the course is set up all the way back and very tough. It was just under 7200 yards, and 20 years go that was a long golf course with balata balls and very tight. I had to figure out a way to break 80 and not embarrass myself too badly. I decided I would keep the driver in the bag and try to find the fairways with 3 wood, even though I would have very long shots left to the par 4’s.

 

I start out pretty good, 4 solid pars. The 5thhole is pretty short and tight, I hit 3 iron off the tee. I’ve just got a PW left, about 110 yards but all carry over water to a tight pin. I hit it about 130 yards and have a really tough pitch down the hill towards the water. I chicken out and leave my pitch about 20 feet short and three putt. Yikes, if you knew me you would realize that after double, I am trying to figure out in my head how many bogeys I can make and still break 80.

 

Then lightning strikes. #6, chip in for eagle from 20 feet. #7 is the scariest 160 yard par three I have ever played. Somehow manage to hit a 7 iron on and two putt from 50 feet. #8 is a good par 4, I hit 3 wood off the tee, but a little left. There is a gap between a couple big trees I can hit it through. I am about 160 yards with a back pin. I’m going to try to get a 9 iron on the front of the green and try to two putt from there for par. I catch a flyer, big time, and it goes in!

 

#9 I’m not thinking about where I stand, and hit a 5 iron to 6 inches. I barely shake the putt in for birdie. For some reason we were behind and rushed to the 10thtee. Without thinking about where I stand I stripe it down the middle with driver, first driver of the day, and knock it on the par 5 in two, two putts for birdie. Now I realize what’s happening, I’m 4 under! Now I start thinking, man I can now make lots of bogeys and still break 80. I make a bunch of solid pars and get to the 16thtee. Now I’m thinking, hell, forget 80, I can be a contender and maybe get my name in the newspaper. You guessed it, 16 is a good par four and I take out my 3 wood and cold top it about 50 yards. Somehow I manage to make a great bogey and finish par – par coming in. After round one I’m tied for the lead at 69. The guys I am tied with are Steve Whillock, a really good guy, fairly new to our section just coming off the mini tours. The other was George Shortridge, a former tour player and at that time fully exempt on the senior tour. George was the best player at the time and we all looked up to him as though he was Jack Nicklaus. I couldn’t choke down much dinner, so I just drank a whole bunch of Brandy Manhattans. I was scared to death. I didn’t sleep much that night, and woke up VERY hung-over.

 

This is getting too long already, but the first 16 holes were pretty uneventful. George had been stiffing it all day, and never made a putt. I was even through 16 and I had made every putt I looked at all day including an 80 footer for birdie on #9. You know what I had been thinking… don’t make any big numbers and don’t embarrass yourself. Try to break 80 twice in a row. Steve was having a tough day and was about 6 over, George and I were tied. George should have been 6 under if he made anything at all, and I was hitting it like a fifteen handicapper, but putting out of my mind.

 

On the 17thtee it dawned on me. Breaking 80 is not a question, and I am tied for the lead! 17 is a long par 4 and I striped a 3 wood off the tee about 220 yards. George hits driver about 300 and just has a little 9 iron in. The pin is cut on the far right of the green behind a bunker with about 10 feet of green to work with behind the pin. No way I can go at that pin with my 3 iron. I aim at the left side of the green and push slice it. It lands in the long grass which slows it down and it rolls about 6 feet past the pin. George decides to hit a little 8 at the pin and catches a flyer and goes way over the green into the woods. He somehow makes bogey from there, a great bogey. You know I’m nervous now that I realize I am tied. I leave my 6 footer 3 feet short, and somehow shake in the 3 footer I left myself. I have the lead!!!

 

18 is a great par five through the woods with water left and short of the green. I have the honor, and of course there is no chance I’m going to hit driver. I snap hooked my three wood about 50 yards into the deep dark forest. George kills a driver down the right side of the fairway about 300 yards again. I realize he can get there in two, and have to figure out a way to make five for a playoff. I am so deep in the woods I can’t even figure out a way to chip out. I’m on a cart path with a bare lie, but don’t want to drop into the rough. The only way out I can find is to hit a pitching wedge up and over the trees towards the fairway. I blade it. It never gets up over knee high and miraculously doesn’t hit anything. To top it off, I hit that wedge so badly that it rolled about 200 yards down the fairway! George can get home, but has a tough shot to a back left pin over the water. He hits the most beautiful 3 wood I had ever seen. He has 15 feet for eagle. I have about 100 yards, and for the first time notice we have a sizable gallery. Oh my, please let me not chunk it into the water. I semi=blade my Pitching wedge over the green into a bunker. I hear one of the other pros say “Yep George wins again.” That really pissed me off. Now I’ve got about a 20 foot bunker shot staring at the water about 15 feet behind the pin, and the green is running away from me. I catch it fat, it catches the rough which slows it down and it rolls down the hill about 6 feet past the pin. I sort of black out at this point, George charges the eagle and three putts and I somehow make my 6 footer for par, and all I can remember are all the pros running onto the green to shake my hand.

 

Funny thing, at the awards ceremony the executive director of the PGA gave me a form to fill out for Q-school. I was exempted into the second stage! I just laughed at him. George out played me tee to green by at least 10 shots, but I got the trophy. That is my story of how a HACK wins the PGA. The next year I went back with some friends to play. That cart path on 18 was now a road to a new neighborhood. They named it Carter Drive!

 

BEST STORY EVER! And it couldn't have happened to a better guy! This needs to be made into a movie on the Golf Channel and maybe they get Clooney or Pitt to play the role of KC!

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BEST STORY EVER! And it couldn't have happened to a better guy! This needs to be made into a movie on the Golf Channel and maybe they get Clooney or Pitt to play the role of KC!

 

Thank you Brother, but more appropriate to play me, if they could bring back Oliver Hardy... :lol: :D :lol: :D

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I've been wrong before
I'll be wrong again
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Patriotic Par

 

Long story from 1973 (prior century when woods were made of persimmon).

 

I was a Marine lance corporal (E-3) stationed in Okinawa. I showed up as a single, and got paired with a Navy captain (06) and his wife at the Kadena AFB course. No. 18 was a 400-yard par 4 that day. I hit a solid drive that rolled into the left rough and right into the back of a palm tree.

 

I took a penalty drop, and hit a 7i shot pin high on the left fringe. I went up to the green, waited my turn, and hit a putter off the fringe that ran up about a quarter-inch above the hole. Right when I hit the putt, colors sounded.

 

As taps played on the sound-system bugle, everyone stood at attention, commemorating fallen US warfighters. Just as taps ended, I heard a "rattle" of a ball going into the cup. The head wind had blown my ball the last quarter-inch into the hole.

 

As we finished up, I said I guess I got a bogie, because the ball took more than 10 seconds to drop. The captain overruled me. He said, "Son, mark it down as a par. When taps plays, the world and time stop!"

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A few months ago I was playing a course with a short and very steep downhill par 3 with woods to the right. Went for a choked down PW and hit a pure hosel rocket. Because the hole is so downhill, the ball actually covered the necessary distance and I heard it smack one of the trees directly. That much was expected, but what was not was it ricocheting directly to the left onto the green and rolling to 7 feet of the pin. I missed the birdie putt which was natural as there was no way I deserved a birdie after that, so I gladly took my par and ran away to the 5th tee.

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