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Why do some kids never move on to higher level


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I agree with that but if you are not ranked and a 2023 graduate then your way behind.

 

Way behind what?

 

The specific plan that you have for your child may be different for other people. It's undoubtedly true that such kids are behind what you've formulated as your ideal plan.

 

But if you had a kid who never played a "ranked" tournament, but came out of nowhere as a Junior/Senior to win everything, it's not like college coaches (and others) are going to ignore them because they haven't been ranked since they were 8 years old.

 

I don't think you understand how rankings work. You are not going to come out of nowhere by winning 1 tournament. To be honest your not even going to be allowed to play in the tournament that matter in the first place.

 

If you're a senior and have not played in ranked JGS tournaments by then the chances of getting a scholarship is slim to none.

 

Just hypothetically. If the first and only tournament you ever play in is the Junior Amateur, and you win it, I think you'll get a few offers.

 

Is that going to happen? Probably not. But talent can make up a lot of ground quickly.

 

Yeh but you're going to have to qualify for that tournament in the first place. To win a tournament like that your going to have be mentally tournament hardy and if you have even played a 2 day local event I highly doubt anyone could realistically achieve that having only played in 1 day events all they're life. There is more to wining tournaments than just skill.

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I agree with that but if you are not ranked and a 2023 graduate then your way behind.

 

Way behind what?

 

The specific plan that you have for your child may be different for other people. It's undoubtedly true that such kids are behind what you've formulated as your ideal plan.

 

But if you had a kid who never played a "ranked" tournament, but came out of nowhere as a Junior/Senior to win everything, it's not like college coaches (and others) are going to ignore them because they haven't been ranked since they were 8 years old.

 

I don't think you understand how rankings work. You are not going to come out of nowhere by winning 1 tournament. To be honest your not even going to be allowed to play in the tournament that matter in the first place.

 

If you're a senior and have not played in ranked JGS tournaments by then the chances of getting a scholarship is slim to none.

 

Just hypothetically. If the first and only tournament you ever play in is the Junior Amateur, and you win it, I think you'll get a few offers.

 

Is that going to happen? Probably not. But talent can make up a lot of ground quickly.

 

Yeh but you're going to have to qualify for that tournament in the first place. To win a tournament like that you are going to have be mentally tough and know how to play in tournaments. You only get that from playing tournaments similar in size and importance. I highly doubt anyone could realistically achieve that having only played in 1 day events all they're life. There is more to wining tournaments than just skill.

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Puberty.

 

In our case, my son is actually a very talented player. But, has gone downhill with his self control (autism) and, lately, has demonstrated a loss of work ethic. I finally told him, "When and if you're ready to be a great player I'll be here to help." and I almost never play with him anymore. Can't make a kid want to play a sport. I really worked at my athletics growing up. I'd run hills whenever I could, lifted weights, actually enjoyed it. I'm realizing now that's very unusual. But, it's really hard to see my boy just squander the game. Perhaps he'll get tired of playing like Tiger did upon his return to the game (very bad joke there...please don't get wound up) and buckle down. But, at this point, I doubt it. So...long answer short...work ethic combined with puberty, social pressures, etc.

 

A year ago when we were out on a round celebrating my wife's birthday, our boy got an ace with my whole family standing together on the tee. It was one of the most special moments of our lives. For her birthday this year we're not even having him out - just my wife and I. Breaks my heart something fierce.

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Puberty.

 

In our case, my son is actually a very talented player. But, has gone downhill with his self control (autism) and, lately, has demonstrated a loss of work ethic. I finally told him, "When and if you're ready to be a great player I'll be here to help." and I almost never play with him anymore. Can't make a kid want to play a sport. I really worked at my athletics growing up. I'd run hills whenever I could, lifted weights, actually enjoyed it. I'm realizing now that's very unusual. But, it's really hard to see my boy just squander the game. Perhaps he'll get tired of playing like Tiger did upon his return to the game (very bad joke there...please don't get wound up) and buckle down. But, at this point, I doubt it. So...long answer short...work ethic combined with puberty, social pressures, etc.

 

A year ago when we were out on a round celebrating my wife's birthday, our boy got an ace with my whole family standing together on the tee. It was one of the most special moments of our lives. For her birthday this year we're not even having him out - just my wife and I. Breaks my heart something fierce.

 

Seriously!! Are you not playing with him because he does not have work ethic to compete ! Cant he just play golf and not try and be a college level player or serious athlete?

 

Enjoy golf with him, it does not have to be about competition all the time.

 

BTW - this comes from a dad who pushes his son a lot... only because he wants to compete. My motto is simple, you need to work hard in order to play tournament golf. If you do not want to work hard.. we can play all the time at the golf club; just do not ask me to waste my weekend/money driving you around for tournaments.

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Puberty.

 

In our case, my son is actually a very talented player. But, has gone downhill with his self control (autism) and, lately, has demonstrated a loss of work ethic. I finally told him, "When and if you're ready to be a great player I'll be here to help." and I almost never play with him anymore. Can't make a kid want to play a sport. I really worked at my athletics growing up. I'd run hills whenever I could, lifted weights, actually enjoyed it. I'm realizing now that's very unusual. But, it's really hard to see my boy just squander the game. Perhaps he'll get tired of playing like Tiger did upon his return to the game (very bad joke there...please don't get wound up) and buckle down. But, at this point, I doubt it. So...long answer short...work ethic combined with puberty, social pressures, etc.

 

A year ago when we were out on a round celebrating my wife's birthday, our boy got an ace with my whole family standing together on the tee. It was one of the most special moments of our lives. For her birthday this year we're not even having him out - just my wife and I. Breaks my heart something fierce.

 

Seriously!! Are you not playing with him because he does not have work ethic to compete ! Cant he just play golf and not try and be a college level player or serious athlete?

 

Enjoy golf with him, it does not have to be about competition all the time.

 

BTW - this comes from a dad who pushes his son a lot... only because he wants to compete. My motto is simple, you need to work hard in order to play tournament golf. If you do not want to work hard.. we can play all the time at the golf club; just do not ask me to waste my weekend/money driving you around for tournaments.

No. Not because of his work ethic. His behavior on the course has become unmanageable. His brain is f*cked up. Sorry. I should have been more clear.
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I have two examples in my family. My daughter began playing golf at about age 7. She was able to get so far but hanging out with her friends and having other experiences besides golf became more important to her than golf. She took up playing the Mandolin and is on the middle school track team. She has also tried competitive swimming, basketball, soccer and softball. I think it's great. I want her to be happy and couldn't care less if she plays golf. If she is happy and healthy, I am a proud and happy father!

 

My nephew began playing baseball at about age 6. It got to the point he was playing 300 games per year all over the country without anything resembling free time. He was an excellent catcher and started getting the attention of some ACC and SEC baseball programs by the beginning of high school. At which point, he burned out and hasn't played baseball since. My brother has been nothing short of supportive. My nephew is happy, healthy and enjoying what little time he has left being a kid.

 

As parents, we should be careful not to live our childhood regrets through our children! Let them be who they are, not who we may want them to be!

 

Wish I could like this more than once ... Parents, please let your kids be kids. They shouldn't be working on college scholarships at age 6. The they'll never be a kid again. They'll have years and years to earn money and do plenty of "adult" things with adult responsibilities. Give them opportunities, but let them decide if they want to take them.

 

I really don't think anyone does golf for college scholarships. I do however think a lot people play golf for many reason and those that play golf have a lot doors opened for them and should take advantage of those opportunities. Those doors can mean a lot things too. Also as the kids get older a lot times it is the kids leading the parents into more competitive golf.

 

Believe it not some kids crave the competition and will do anything to play more. I actually think that is the norm more as kids get older. This golf stuff is tough and expensive for parents. Kind of jealous of those california parents who can't be a spectator and drop the kids off for the day to play golf.

 

What doors open by being good at golf? And how good are you talking? Just curious where your mind is when taking this journey with your daughters.

 

Is college not a means to an end? That’s how I view college. Good high school, easier to get into a good college. The better college, the easier it is to get certain jobs or easier path to a good grad school. Ultimately, is it not to make a living?

 

So golf, unlike basketball or football, can’t fully mask the academic requirements to get into a good college. But it can provide an amazing opportunity to be a student athlete. Then what? It’s not like going to a better golf college increases your chances to go pro - there’s Q school open for all.

 

So if the drive of parents or kids to be the best golfer possible as a junior is not for college or pro, not sure what it’s for. To be the best golfer that junior can be because the junior truly loves golf? If that’s your only motivation then you don’t need to spend money playing national tournaments or chase rankings and can just stick to your local pga section - plenty of competitive amateur and open events to get the competition you need/are seeking.

 

So let’s not kid ourselves - everyone (junior or parent) has aspirations of college golf or professional golf if they are training and competing to be an elite junior golfer. It’s not so you can make business relationships - you need to first be in a position where those relationships would come to any fruition.

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I have two examples in my family. My daughter began playing golf at about age 7. She was able to get so far but hanging out with her friends and having other experiences besides golf became more important to her than golf. She took up playing the Mandolin and is on the middle school track team. She has also tried competitive swimming, basketball, soccer and softball. I think it's great. I want her to be happy and couldn't care less if she plays golf. If she is happy and healthy, I am a proud and happy father!

 

My nephew began playing baseball at about age 6. It got to the point he was playing 300 games per year all over the country without anything resembling free time. He was an excellent catcher and started getting the attention of some ACC and SEC baseball programs by the beginning of high school. At which point, he burned out and hasn't played baseball since. My brother has been nothing short of supportive. My nephew is happy, healthy and enjoying what little time he has left being a kid.

 

As parents, we should be careful not to live our childhood regrets through our children! Let them be who they are, not who we may want them to be!

 

Wish I could like this more than once ... Parents, please let your kids be kids. They shouldn't be working on college scholarships at age 6. The they'll never be a kid again. They'll have years and years to earn money and do plenty of "adult" things with adult responsibilities. Give them opportunities, but let them decide if they want to take them.

 

I really don't think anyone does golf for college scholarships. I do however think a lot people play golf for many reason and those that play golf have a lot doors opened for them and should take advantage of those opportunities. Those doors can mean a lot things too. Also as the kids get older a lot times it is the kids leading the parents into more competitive golf.

 

Believe it not some kids crave the competition and will do anything to play more. I actually think that is the norm more as kids get older. This golf stuff is tough and expensive for parents. Kind of jealous of those california parents who can't be a spectator and drop the kids off for the day to play golf.

 

What doors open by being good at golf? And how good are you talking? Just curious where your mind is when taking this journey with your daughters.

 

Is college not a means to an end? That’s how I view college. Good high school, easier to get into a good college. The better college, the easier it is to get certain jobs or easier path to a good grad school. Ultimately, is it not to make a living?

 

So golf, unlike basketball or football, can’t fully mask the academic requirements to get into a good college. But it can provide an amazing opportunity to be a student athlete. Then what? It’s not like going to a better golf college increases your chances to go pro - there’s Q school open for all.

 

So if the drive of parents or kids to be the best golfer possible as a junior is not for college or pro, not sure what it’s for. To be the best golfer that junior can be because the junior truly loves golf? If that’s your only motivation then you don’t need to spend money playing national tournaments or chase rankings and can just stick to your local pga section - plenty of competitive amateur and open events to get the competition you need/are seeking.

 

So let’s not kid ourselves - everyone (junior or parent) has aspirations of college golf or professional golf if they are training and competing to be an elite junior golfer. It’s not so you can make business relationships - you need to first be in a position where those relationships would come to any fruition.

 

Golf opens a lot doors. For instance knowing how to play golf well may get you invited to a 4 some with manager higher up during the yearly company tournament.

 

When your talking about college you may actually not get an atheletic scholarship but the coach may actually help you get the academic one to play on the team.

 

Just playing golf and hanging around where golf clubs are will help you make contacts in life.

 

Then if your actually really good like say tiger woods you will make millions.

 

I could go on but just actually playing a sport like golf has a lot good qualities and I haven’t even mentioned the health benefits yet.

 

 

That’s why I said golf opens up doors. Generally speaking I rather my kids hang around golfers then play video games online or at the mall.

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This thread has veered astray so I'm going to add my $.02 which is at least based on experience.

 

My daughter is/was athletic and strong, and pretty good at every sport she played. I love golf, so as a little kid, so did she...and being athletic she had a knack for it.

 

Now, if I were to have listened to the "let kids be kids" crowd, i can pretty much guarantee that she would NOT be playing D1 collegiate golf on a full ride.

 

I actually wonder how many folks in the "let kids be kids" camp are even parents, and speculate further that most likely have kids with no or little talent.

 

Being a parent of a talented athlete ain't easy. Some kids are self-motivated, some need an occasional kick in the azz, and some need more extensive parental involvement.

 

In any case, it is extremely nuanced and case specific, so if you've never been through it as a kid or parent, please save the prophesying. Most of us want the ver best for our children and realize that many opportunities are fleeting...

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This thread has veered astray so I'm going to add my $.02 which is at least based on experience.

 

My daughter is/was athletic and strong, and pretty good at every sport she played. I love golf, so as a little kid, so did she...and being athletic she had a knack for it.

 

Now, if I were to have listened to the "let kids be kids" crowd, i can pretty much guarantee that she would NOT be playing D1 collegiate golf on a full ride.

 

I actually wonder how many folks in the "let kids be kids" camp are even parents, and speculate further that most likely have kids with no or little talent.

 

Being a parent of a talented athlete ain't easy. Some kids are self-motivated, some need an occasional kick in the azz, and some need more extensive parental involvement.

 

In any case, it is extremely nuanced and case specific, so if you've never been through it as a kid or parent, please save the prophesying. Most of us want the ver best for our children and realize that many opportunities are fleeting...

 

My son plays high level select soccer, so I've been through it to this point.

 

I realize all parents and kids are different, but I've also worked with a ton of kids through soccer, and I've seen a lot of them forced into playing out their parents dreams of athletic success. That's why I say give kids opportunities, but let them be kids.

 

I played golf and basketball growing up, and would love to have my son play those things. And he tried them. Along with baseball and everything else he wanted. He chose what he wanted to play and now seriously he wanted to play it.

 

Good for your daughter that she's playing D-1 golf on scholarship. Hopefully that was her dream and not yours. Sometimes "parental involvement" turns into living their lives for them. Not saying you did it, but I've seen it happen. And I've seen really talented kids burn out and quit sports they were good at ... Or forced to play sports they really didn't want to and quit others they were more interested in. All because their parents knew what was best for their future.

 

And of course, we all think we're doing the best for our kids at the time. Do you think Todd Marinovich's dad (worst case scenario) thought he was destroying his son at the time?

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This thread has veered astray so I'm going to add my $.02 which is at least based on experience.

 

My daughter is/was athletic and strong, and pretty good at every sport she played. I love golf, so as a little kid, so did she...and being athletic she had a knack for it.

 

Now, if I were to have listened to the "let kids be kids" crowd, i can pretty much guarantee that she would NOT be playing D1 collegiate golf on a full ride.

 

I actually wonder how many folks in the "let kids be kids" camp are even parents, and speculate further that most likely have kids with no or little talent.

 

Being a parent of a talented athlete ain't easy. Some kids are self-motivated, some need an occasional kick in the azz, and some need more extensive parental involvement.

 

In any case, it is extremely nuanced and case specific, so if you've never been through it as a kid or parent, please save the prophesying. Most of us want the ver best for our children and realize that many opportunities are fleeting...

 

My son plays high level select soccer, so I've been through it to this point.

 

I realize all parents and kids are different, but I've also worked with a ton of kids through soccer, and I've seen a lot of them forced into playing out their parents dreams of athletic success. That's why I say give kids opportunities, but let them be kids.

 

I played golf and basketball growing up, and would love to have my son play those things. And he tried them. Along with baseball and everything else he wanted. He chose what he wanted to play and now seriously he wanted to play it.

 

Good for your daughter that she's playing D-1 golf on scholarship. Hopefully that was her dream and not yours. Sometimes "parental involvement" turns into living their lives for them. Not saying you did it, but I've seen it happen. And I've seen really talented kids burn out and quit sports they were good at ... Or forced to play sports they really didn't want to and quit others they were more interested in. All because their parents knew what was best for their future.

 

And of course, we all think we're doing the best for our kids at the time. Do you think Todd Marinovich's dad (worst case scenario) thought he was destroying his son at the time?

 

TT, I totally respect your opinion.

 

All I'm saying is that raising kids is a very nuanced and case-by-case endeavor that requires good parental instincts, intuition, and hopefully knowledge, wisdom, and experience.

 

There will always be extreme cases in each direction

 

Edit to add: ...and there ain't no guarantees

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Ping i200 5-UW (2 flat) - Nippon Modus 105X
Taylormade HiToe 54 (bent to 55 & 2 flat)
Taylormade HiToe 64 (Bent to 62 & 2 flat)
Palmer AP30R putter (circa 1960s)
Taylormade TP5X Ball

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This thread has veered astray so I'm going to add my $.02 which is at least based on experience.

 

My daughter is/was athletic and strong, and pretty good at every sport she played. I love golf, so as a little kid, so did she...and being athletic she had a knack for it.

 

Now, if I were to have listened to the "let kids be kids" crowd, i can pretty much guarantee that she would NOT be playing D1 collegiate golf on a full ride.

 

I actually wonder how many folks in the "let kids be kids" camp are even parents, and speculate further that most likely have kids with no or little talent.

 

Being a parent of a talented athlete ain't easy. Some kids are self-motivated, some need an occasional kick in the azz, and some need more extensive parental involvement.

 

In any case, it is extremely nuanced and case specific, so if you've never been through it as a kid or parent, please save the prophesying. Most of us want the ver best for our children and realize that many opportunities are fleeting...

 

At what age did you start to push your daughter more (in all sports and/or golf in particular)?

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This thread has veered astray so I'm going to add my $.02 which is at least based on experience.

 

My daughter is/was athletic and strong, and pretty good at every sport she played. I love golf, so as a little kid, so did she...and being athletic she had a knack for it.

 

Now, if I were to have listened to the "let kids be kids" crowd, i can pretty much guarantee that she would NOT be playing D1 collegiate golf on a full ride.

 

I actually wonder how many folks in the "let kids be kids" camp are even parents, and speculate further that most likely have kids with no or little talent.

 

Being a parent of a talented athlete ain't easy. Some kids are self-motivated, some need an occasional kick in the azz, and some need more extensive parental involvement.

 

In any case, it is extremely nuanced and case specific, so if you've never been through it as a kid or parent, please save the prophesying. Most of us want the ver best for our children and realize that many opportunities are fleeting...

 

A couple of thoughts.

 

First, I totally agree that every kid is different. Some kids are driven, some kids need a push. I couldn't possibly doubt your assessment that your daughter needed your push.

 

To speculate that parents who don't feel like they need to push have talentless kids is one of the most tasteless things I've ever read on GolfWRX.

 

Second: the OP didn't really do a great job of defining success in the first post. I don't really care if my daughter plays D1 Golf, gets a scholarship, plays on the LPGA tour. I hope she loves the game of golf and enjoys competing. To me, those outcomes are "success". If I felt like my her goal was to play D1 golf on a full ride, I might agree with the OP that the best path is through playing all the "right" tournaments. But you've got to understand that the things that you care about and think are "success" are not per se the same things that I care about and think are "success".

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This thread has veered astray so I'm going to add my $.02 which is at least based on experience.

 

My daughter is/was athletic and strong, and pretty good at every sport she played. I love golf, so as a little kid, so did she...and being athletic she had a knack for it.

 

Now, if I were to have listened to the "let kids be kids" crowd, i can pretty much guarantee that she would NOT be playing D1 collegiate golf on a full ride.

 

I actually wonder how many folks in the "let kids be kids" camp are even parents, and speculate further that most likely have kids with no or little talent.

 

Being a parent of a talented athlete ain't easy. Some kids are self-motivated, some need an occasional kick in the azz, and some need more extensive parental involvement.

 

In any case, it is extremely nuanced and case specific, so if you've never been through it as a kid or parent, please save the prophesying. Most of us want the ver best for our children and realize that many opportunities are fleeting...

 

A couple of thoughts.

 

First, I totally agree that every kid is different. Some kids are driven, some kids need a push. I couldn't possibly doubt your assessment that your daughter needed your push.

 

To speculate that parents who don't feel like they need to push have talentless kids is one of the most tasteless things I've ever read on GolfWRX.

 

Second: the OP didn't really do a great job of defining success in the first post. I don't really care if my daughter plays D1 Golf, gets a scholarship, plays on the LPGA tour. I hope she loves the game of golf and enjoys competing. To me, those outcomes are "success". If I felt like my her goal was to play D1 golf on a full ride, I might agree with the OP that the best path is through playing all the "right" tournaments. But you've got to understand that the things that you care about and think are "success" are not per se the same things that I care about and think are "success".

 

The question had nothing to do with pushing kids. The original question is why do people never move there kids up to a higher level. I really don’t have a clue why someone would invest time and money and even home school a kid but seem content with there kid winning low level tournaments. A good number probably don’t have motivation to pursue higher level and just love winning angainst kids who just started playing.

 

The reason it matters to me is if say 20% of talented kids never advance to the next level the rankings then that simply means the odds go up for the kids that do. It very tough to understand rankings and where a kid is going to stand in a class.

 

 

I also happened to include some advice in the question too because a lot people think my kid won a local tournament the scholarships are going to fall out the sky for them. This is especially true for parents of girls. I also think liike dpb that if a lot the posters here don’t have kids or have kids that they showed any promise.

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Well...

At 23 when I thought about going overseas to play professional sports my parents said, it doesn’t sound like a path to financial security. So really why wait to get started?

At 17, when colleges started knocking on our door for my child, I asked what they wanted to do. The answer was, “I just want be a normal kid. I don’t love it enough to be a good teammate.”

 

I firmly believe in letting kids be kids. And most every other satisfied athlete would agree. It has nothing to do with the kids talent (or lack thereof) it has to do with the parent’s.

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This thread has veered astray so I'm going to add my $.02 which is at least based on experience.

 

My daughter is/was athletic and strong, and pretty good at every sport she played. I love golf, so as a little kid, so did she...and being athletic she had a knack for it.

 

Now, if I were to have listened to the "let kids be kids" crowd, i can pretty much guarantee that she would NOT be playing D1 collegiate golf on a full ride.

 

I actually wonder how many folks in the "let kids be kids" camp are even parents, and speculate further that most likely have kids with no or little talent.

 

Being a parent of a talented athlete ain't easy. Some kids are self-motivated, some need an occasional kick in the azz, and some need more extensive parental involvement.

 

In any case, it is extremely nuanced and case specific, so if you've never been through it as a kid or parent, please save the prophesying. Most of us want the ver best for our children and realize that many opportunities are fleeting...

 

A couple of thoughts.

 

First, I totally agree that every kid is different. Some kids are driven, some kids need a push. I couldn't possibly doubt your assessment that your daughter needed your push.

 

To speculate that parents who don't feel like they need to push have talentless kids is one of the most tasteless things I've ever read on GolfWRX.

 

Second: the OP didn't really do a great job of defining success in the first post. I don't really care if my daughter plays D1 Golf, gets a scholarship, plays on the LPGA tour. I hope she loves the game of golf and enjoys competing. To me, those outcomes are "success". If I felt like my her goal was to play D1 golf on a full ride, I might agree with the OP that the best path is through playing all the "right" tournaments. But you've got to understand that the things that you care about and think are "success" are not per se the same things that I care about and think are "success".

 

I apologize if my post has offended anyone as that certainly was not my intention. Provocative perhaps, but tasteless? Really...lol :huh: ? I'm just firmly of the opinion that the "let kids be kids" statement is way overplayed here and elsewhere, has become practically cliche', and is often (but not always) a passive-aggressive shot at parents who are actively invested in helping, or trying to help their kids succeed.

 

The vast majority of children are impulsive and short-sighted by nature...mostly due to immaturity, common distractions, and just flat-out being kids. That's OK, perfectly normal, and should be expected. Most kids require encouragement, enthusiasm, discipline, the occasional nudge, nurturing and parental involvement in one shape or another to succeed at whatever the endeavor...athletic or otherwise. There will always be exceptions, but we're not talking about exceptions here, we're talking about parenting everyday kids. In my case, my kid did not require a constant push, but on those occasions when she veered off course we were there to help right the ship and help her stay on track. That applies to academics, athletics, and her social life. I suppose we could have left it all up to her and just rolled the dice, but there's not a lot of wiggle room or time for mistakes after a certain point. Hopefully (and I'm fairly confident on this) if you were to speak with her now she'd echo my sentiments and express appreciation that we pushed her to a degree when we deemed it necessary. Again, it's a balancing act!

 

I've never suggested that there's a perfect recipe' and/or that my way is ideal. I've also never expressed that what worked for me and my family is right for others. Every kid is different ant that's up to each parent/family. And BTW, there are plenty of kids in our world that should be so lucky as to have a parent or anyone in their life that actually gives a sh!t about anything they do.

 

I fully understand that every individual and every family is going to have different goals and values. What I think is important may not be important to others, and likewise. In fact, that's substantive to my point...

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Well...

At 23 when I thought about going overseas to play professional sports my parents said, it doesn't sound like a path to financial security. So really why wait to get started?

At 17, when colleges started knocking on our door for my child, I asked what they wanted to do. The answer was, "I just want be a normal kid. I don't love it enough to be a good teammate."

 

I firmly believe in letting kids be kids. And most every other satisfied athlete would agree. It has nothing to do with the kids talent (or lack thereof) it has to do with the parent's.

 

So, if your kid is 100% resolute and consistent in his/her expressed thoughts and opinions about whatever the issue that's an easy one and I'd agree with you as well as your kid.

 

But what if your kid (like many, if not most) has a mindset that goes from one end of the spectrum to the opposite in a relatively short period of time, whether due to some external influence or whatever that plays on his or her natural impulsivity and immaturity? Two weeks ago he wanted to play college soccer and actually showed some promise in it through his travel team play etc, yet today he doesn't give a crap because he doesn't want to miss a local party. Oh, and BTW....next week he's going to be begging you to go to a $5k soccer camp in the summer? What's the answer now? Can you not see that it's not always so cut and dry?

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This school principal would say that it is because child development is not a straight line, but rather reads more like an earnings chart...up and down.

 

Kids are not just "little adults." Their achievement is tied to their emotional, social, and physical development. Adults can push past barriers by having the maturity to stick to process and entertain perspective while doing so. That isn't how it works with kids.

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Well...

At 23 when I thought about going overseas to play professional sports my parents said, it doesn't sound like a path to financial security. So really why wait to get started?

At 17, when colleges started knocking on our door for my child, I asked what they wanted to do. The answer was, "I just want be a normal kid. I don't love it enough to be a good teammate."

 

I firmly believe in letting kids be kids. And most every other satisfied athlete would agree. It has nothing to do with the kids talent (or lack thereof) it has to do with the parent's.

 

So, if your kid is 100% resolute and consistent in his/her expressed thoughts and opinions about whatever the issue that's an easy one and I'd agree with you as well as your kid.

 

But what if your kid (like many, if not most) has a mindset that goes from one end of the spectrum to the opposite in a relatively short period of time, whether due to some external influence or whatever that plays on his or her natural impulsivity and immaturity? Two weeks ago he wanted to play college soccer and actually showed some promise in it through his travel team play etc, yet today he doesn't give a crap because he doesn't want to miss a local party. Oh, and BTW....next week he's going to be begging you to go to a $5k soccer camp in the summer? What's the answer now? Can you not see that it's not always so cut and dry?

 

It’s their life. I honestly couldn’t have cared less if he played a sport in college. My parents didn’t care if I did either.

I probably would have paid the $5K if they thought it’d be fun. For me, it’s about what they want to do and support them. And really, if there was a concern, well there is no guarantee it wouldn’t come up again. After the commitment for money. At that point it’s not a game, it’s a job. On the other hand, if it’s still encouraged and accepted, who’s to say the kid doesn’t walk on if the spirit moves them.

The issue isn’t about whether a child is “focused” the question is do they want to be focused. And every kid is different, some kids live to compete, some kids don’t. But it isn’t tied to aptitude, it’s attitude.

And those kids who truly forge their own way are the ones who become great (with exceptions like Tiger). Parents who push run more talented kids out of sport than the vice versa.

I truly believe that. And after 20 years of coaching I saw much more of that than success. Over 70% of all high school athletes quit by their senior year. Is it bc they all got cut? I doubt it.

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It’s their life. I honestly couldn’t have cared less if he played a sport in college. My parents didn’t care if I did either.

I probably would have paid the $5K if they thought it’d be fun. For me, it’s about what they want to do and support them. And really, if there was a concern, well there is no guarantee it wouldn’t come up again. After the commitment for money. At that point it’s not a game, it’s a job. On the other hand, if it’s still encouraged and accepted, who’s to say the kid doesn’t walk on if the spirit moves them.

The issue isn’t about whether a child is “focused” the question is do they want to be focused. And every kid is different, some kids live to compete, some kids don’t. But it isn’t tied to aptitude, it’s attitude.

And those kids who truly forge their own way are the ones who become great (with exceptions like Tiger). Parents who push run more talented kids out of sport than the vice versa.

I truly believe that. And after 20 years of coaching I saw much more of that than success. Over 70% of all high school athletes quit by their senior year. Is it bc they all got cut? I doubt it.

 

This makes no sense at all. If you want your kid to succeed you need to push them and give them encouragement. You can’t just let’s kid do what ever they want to do. That how you raise a gangbanger or future loser who just plays video games all day and does drugs.

 

No kid who has done well has not had a parent behind pushing them and helping them make good descisions in life.

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Maybe some kids don't have a need (i.e., internal burning desire) to go further in golf? When I was on faculty at Purdue Univ, I set up a departmental golf outing like I used to do when I was a grad student, including faculty, grad students, undergrads.....anyone that wanted in. It was mostly guys, but I was approached by one young female freshman undergrad who asked if she could play and I said of course, we'd love to have women mixed in. OK, it just so happened, she ends up in our group and we are on the men's tee and I see her grabbing her driver and I said (not knowing how well she was acquainted with golf), uhm, the ladies tee is up there. To which she replied "oh, I just thought I'd play from here and keep the group together" and I just said "oh, OK". So several guys already tee'd off thinking she was going from the ladies tee otherwise I'm sure the gentlemen we were would have let her go first....she goes last and SMOKES all of our drives. I think someone said 'beginners luck'. So after 3-4 holes and she has smoked everyone for those 4 holes I'm getting asked for information on who this female bomber is, so I just asked her "ok, you're killing us....what's the backstory here?"....and she says "I was the top high school female golfer in Indiana last year. I asked, well certainly you could have gotten a golf scholarship for college?....and she said, yes, she had offers but wanted to focus on her school work. Wow, as a college professor, I had to admire her tenacity to let her sport go.

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An 8th grader not being ranked means nothing. Ranking really won’t matter until later part of sophomore year of high school. Even more so for girls than boys

 

To me it not so much about the ranking as playing in 2 day tournaments. I just think you need to be used of playing tournaments for more then 1 day as soon as it makes sense you can actually play them. On 1 day tournaments if have a few bad holes you can give up and just have a bad day. With a 2 day you have to show up and overcome that bad day. Mentally a lot different game.

 

The ranking part is well I haven’t seen that many 2 day tournaments not get ranked.

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Well...

At 23 when I thought about going overseas to play professional sports my parents said, it doesn't sound like a path to financial security. So really why wait to get started?

At 17, when colleges started knocking on our door for my child, I asked what they wanted to do. The answer was, "I just want be a normal kid. I don't love it enough to be a good teammate."

 

I firmly believe in letting kids be kids. And most every other satisfied athlete would agree. It has nothing to do with the kids talent (or lack thereof) it has to do with the parent's.

 

So, if your kid is 100% resolute and consistent in his/her expressed thoughts and opinions about whatever the issue that's an easy one and I'd agree with you as well as your kid.

 

But what if your kid (like many, if not most) has a mindset that goes from one end of the spectrum to the opposite in a relatively short period of time, whether due to some external influence or whatever that plays on his or her natural impulsivity and immaturity? Two weeks ago he wanted to play college soccer and actually showed some promise in it through his travel team play etc, yet today he doesn't give a crap because he doesn't want to miss a local party. Oh, and BTW....next week he's going to be begging you to go to a $5k soccer camp in the summer? What's the answer now? Can you not see that it's not always so cut and dry?

 

A guy I work with has a son who 6 years ago had several full ride D1 offers to pitch in college. The kid wanted to play, but his girlfriend wanted him to stay home. The dad let him. He worked at Target while going to a CC and is now going to Fire School. He and his girlfriend broke up a year later.

I am GenX.  If you really think I care about what you have to say, I don't.

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why doesn't every hockey player make it to the NHL. I didn't. LOL

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Well...

At 23 when I thought about going overseas to play professional sports my parents said, it doesn't sound like a path to financial security. So really why wait to get started?

At 17, when colleges started knocking on our door for my child, I asked what they wanted to do. The answer was, "I just want be a normal kid. I don't love it enough to be a good teammate."

 

I firmly believe in letting kids be kids. And most every other satisfied athlete would agree. It has nothing to do with the kids talent (or lack thereof) it has to do with the parent's.

 

So, if your kid is 100% resolute and consistent in his/her expressed thoughts and opinions about whatever the issue that's an easy one and I'd agree with you as well as your kid.

 

But what if your kid (like many, if not most) has a mindset that goes from one end of the spectrum to the opposite in a relatively short period of time, whether due to some external influence or whatever that plays on his or her natural impulsivity and immaturity? Two weeks ago he wanted to play college soccer and actually showed some promise in it through his travel team play etc, yet today he doesn't give a crap because he doesn't want to miss a local party. Oh, and BTW....next week he's going to be begging you to go to a $5k soccer camp in the summer? What's the answer now? Can you not see that it's not always so cut and dry?

 

A guy I work with has a son who 6 years ago had several full ride D1 offers to pitch in college. The kid wanted to play, but his girlfriend wanted him to stay home. The dad let him. He worked at Target while going to a CC and is now going to Fire School. He and his girlfriend broke up a year later.

 

Exactly! Short-sighted, impulsive, and foolish, but hey, it's his life! ?

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Well...

At 23 when I thought about going overseas to play professional sports my parents said, it doesn't sound like a path to financial security. So really why wait to get started?

At 17, when colleges started knocking on our door for my child, I asked what they wanted to do. The answer was, "I just want be a normal kid. I don't love it enough to be a good teammate."

 

I firmly believe in letting kids be kids. And most every other satisfied athlete would agree. It has nothing to do with the kids talent (or lack thereof) it has to do with the parent's.

 

So, if your kid is 100% resolute and consistent in his/her expressed thoughts and opinions about whatever the issue that's an easy one and I'd agree with you as well as your kid.

 

But what if your kid (like many, if not most) has a mindset that goes from one end of the spectrum to the opposite in a relatively short period of time, whether due to some external influence or whatever that plays on his or her natural impulsivity and immaturity? Two weeks ago he wanted to play college soccer and actually showed some promise in it through his travel team play etc, yet today he doesn't give a crap because he doesn't want to miss a local party. Oh, and BTW....next week he's going to be begging you to go to a $5k soccer camp in the summer? What's the answer now? Can you not see that it's not always so cut and dry?

 

A guy I work with has a son who 6 years ago had several full ride D1 offers to pitch in college. The kid wanted to play, but his girlfriend wanted him to stay home. The dad let him. He worked at Target while going to a CC and is now going to Fire School. He and his girlfriend broke up a year later.

 

The dad "let him"? The "kid" is 18 or 19, he's making his own decisions, it's time for mommy and daddy to let go.

 

Nothing wrong with CC and Fire School. Full ride, D1 and pitching in college is not a guarantee to a happy life. As parents, you have to realize it's not your life.

 

Well...

At 23 when I thought about going overseas to play professional sports my parents said, it doesn't sound like a path to financial security. So really why wait to get started?

At 17, when colleges started knocking on our door for my child, I asked what they wanted to do. The answer was, "I just want be a normal kid. I don't love it enough to be a good teammate."

 

I firmly believe in letting kids be kids. And most every other satisfied athlete would agree. It has nothing to do with the kids talent (or lack thereof) it has to do with the parent's.

 

So, if your kid is 100% resolute and consistent in his/her expressed thoughts and opinions about whatever the issue that's an easy one and I'd agree with you as well as your kid.

 

But what if your kid (like many, if not most) has a mindset that goes from one end of the spectrum to the opposite in a relatively short period of time, whether due to some external influence or whatever that plays on his or her natural impulsivity and immaturity? Two weeks ago he wanted to play college soccer and actually showed some promise in it through his travel team play etc, yet today he doesn't give a crap because he doesn't want to miss a local party. Oh, and BTW....next week he's going to be begging you to go to a $5k soccer camp in the summer? What's the answer now? Can you not see that it's not always so cut and dry?

 

A guy I work with has a son who 6 years ago had several full ride D1 offers to pitch in college. The kid wanted to play, but his girlfriend wanted him to stay home. The dad let him. He worked at Target while going to a CC and is now going to Fire School. He and his girlfriend broke up a year later.

 

Exactly! Short-sighted, impulsive, and foolish, but hey, it's his life!

 

Exactly ... it is his life, not his daddy's.

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Well...

At 23 when I thought about going overseas to play professional sports my parents said, it doesn't sound like a path to financial security. So really why wait to get started?

At 17, when colleges started knocking on our door for my child, I asked what they wanted to do. The answer was, "I just want be a normal kid. I don't love it enough to be a good teammate."

 

I firmly believe in letting kids be kids. And most every other satisfied athlete would agree. It has nothing to do with the kids talent (or lack thereof) it has to do with the parent's.

 

So, if your kid is 100% resolute and consistent in his/her expressed thoughts and opinions about whatever the issue that's an easy one and I'd agree with you as well as your kid.

 

But what if your kid (like many, if not most) has a mindset that goes from one end of the spectrum to the opposite in a relatively short period of time, whether due to some external influence or whatever that plays on his or her natural impulsivity and immaturity? Two weeks ago he wanted to play college soccer and actually showed some promise in it through his travel team play etc, yet today he doesn't give a crap because he doesn't want to miss a local party. Oh, and BTW....next week he's going to be begging you to go to a $5k soccer camp in the summer? What's the answer now? Can you not see that it's not always so cut and dry?

 

A guy I work with has a son who 6 years ago had several full ride D1 offers to pitch in college. The kid wanted to play, but his girlfriend wanted him to stay home. The dad let him. He worked at Target while going to a CC and is now going to Fire School. He and his girlfriend broke up a year later.

 

Exactly! Short-sighted, impulsive, and foolish, but hey, it's his life!

 

The dad "let him"? The "kid" is 18 or 19, he's making his own decisions, it's time for mommy and daddy to let go.

 

Nothing wrong with CC and Fire School. Full ride, D1 and pitching in college is not a guarantee to a happy life. As parents, you have to realize it's not your life.

 

And yes, it IS his life, not his daddy's ... that's the point.

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It’s their life. I honestly couldn’t have cared less if he played a sport in college. My parents didn’t care if I did either.

I probably would have paid the $5K if they thought it’d be fun. For me, it’s about what they want to do and support them. And really, if there was a concern, well there is no guarantee it wouldn’t come up again. After the commitment for money. At that point it’s not a game, it’s a job. On the other hand, if it’s still encouraged and accepted, who’s to say the kid doesn’t walk on if the spirit moves them.

The issue isn’t about whether a child is “focused” the question is do they want to be focused. And every kid is different, some kids live to compete, some kids don’t. But it isn’t tied to aptitude, it’s attitude.

And those kids who truly forge their own way are the ones who become great (with exceptions like Tiger). Parents who push run more talented kids out of sport than the vice versa.

I truly believe that. And after 20 years of coaching I saw much more of that than success. Over 70% of all high school athletes quit by their senior year. Is it bc they all got cut? I doubt it.

 

This makes no sense at all. If you want your kid to succeed you need to push them and give them encouragement. You can’t just let’s kid do what ever they want to do. That how you raise a gangbanger or future loser who just plays video games all day and does drugs.

 

No kid who has done well has not had a parent behind pushing them and helping them make good descisions in life.

 

This is so wrong on so many different levels ... believe or not, kids have succeeded out of many different environment, including ones without supportive parents, or adults of any kinds.

 

You are a big part of your child's success ... but you are putting yourself in the driver's seat, and you are not. It is not your life. You had your chance. Give them theirs. Just because you reproduced doesn't give you the right to puppet another human's life. "Pushing" your kid in extracurricular activities may lead to short term success, but it's going to lead to burn out and failure.

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UW: Titleist Vokey SM8, 52°F

LW: Titleist Vokey SM8, 60°D
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      Wyndham Clark - WITB - 2024 Genesis Invitational
      Cam Davis - WITB - 2024 Genesis Invitational
      Nick Taylor - WITB - 2024 Genesis Invitational
      Ben Baller WITB update (New putter, driver, hybrid and shafts) – 2024 Genesis Invitational
       
       
       
       
       
      Pullout Albums
       
      New Vortex Golf rangefinder - 2024 Genesis Invitational
      New Fujikura Ventus shaft - 2024 Genesis Invitational
      Tiger Woods & TaylorMade "Sun Day Red" apparel launch event, product photos – 2024 Genesis Invitational
      Tiger Woods Sun Day Red golf shoes - 2024 Genesis Invitational
      Aretera shafts - 2024 Genesis Invitational
      New Toulon putters - 2024 Genesis Invitational
      Tiger Woods' new white "Sun Day Red" golf shoe prototypes – 2024 Genesis Invitational
       
       
       
       
       
      • 22 replies
    • 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open - Discussion and Links to Photos
      Please put and questions or comments here
       
       
       
       
      General Albums
       
      2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open - Monday #1
      2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open - Monday #2
       
       
       
       
      WITB Albums
       
      Ben Taylor - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Garrick Higgo - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Billy Horschel - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Justin Lower - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Lanto Griffin - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Bud Cauley - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Corbin Burnes (2021 NL Cy Young) - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Greyson Sigg - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Charley Hoffman - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Nico Echavarria - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Victor Perez - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Sami Valimaki - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Ryo Hisatsune - WITB - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
       
       
       
       
       
       
      Pullout Albums
       
      Jake Knapp's custom Cameron putters - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      New Cameron putters - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Tyler Duncan's custom Cameron putter - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Greyson Sigg's custom Cameron putters - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Sunjae Im's custom Cameron putter - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Ping's Waste Management putter covers - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Vincent Whaley's custom Cameron - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Odyssey Waste Management putter covers - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Super Stroke custom grips - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Cameron putters - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Zac Blair's custom Cameron putter - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
      Bettinardi Waste Management putter covers - 2024 Waste Management Phoenix Open
       
       
       
       
       
       

       
      • 12 replies

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