What to tell a wife that hates golf

[baller4opca]

Thanks for all the sage advice albeit some are quite out there. Lol. Just to clarify, I highly encourage my wife to do things on her own and I am glad to watch our child. Secondly, I took up golf after we met, not before so she had no idea and neither did I that I would call hard for the game. Thirdly, my guess is that she always talks about her grandmother being a "golf widow" and doesn't want to be one.

[DancingShadows]

Sheesh this thread making me absolutely want to stay single. The current gf constantly complains about my weekend tourneys (like 7 or 8 this year) and just imagining that progress sounds like a hell I want no part of.

[SilverBullets]

Sheesh this thread making me absolutely want to stay single. The current gf constantly complains about my weekend tourneys (like 7 or 8 this year) and just imagining that progress sounds like a hell I want no part of.

 

Nah just have to find the right partner. My wife is pretty awesome. She gets that golf makes me happy, it's my way of relaxing, connecting with my buddies and/or just getting away. As long as I don't over do it she encourages me to play. Over doing it is when I start getting into the 4 day a week range. Like both weekend days and a couple nights.

 

My main thing is I am just always mindful of her/our plans on the weekend. So I don't have a set time. She's not a huge early bird so I know if I get out before 9am I am all clear. I just make sure golf fits into the schedule so we can do everything we want to do and have a great week. Like we like to cycle (well I like to cycle, she loves to cycle) so on the weekends I make sure there is to get a ride in when she wants to ride. I just adjust my golf around it.

 

It's a give and take. She gets that it's a huge part of who I am and what makes me happy and I get that I shouldn't be at a course all weekend long. So we both compromise a bit. I shift my times and make sure golf isn't really interfering with the weekend and she's cool with it. It's also a lot easier because we don't have kids (nor do we want kids).

 

A handful of years ago she finally got the itch to see what golf was all about. She loves it now. She doesn't like playing more than once a week (unless it's 18 on the weekend and a week night 9) but she really enjoys it. That has certainly made some things easier. She knows part of why I love golf is the competition and having some guy time. So weekend where she wants to golf, it becomes 2 round weekends for me. one with my buddies and one with her.

 

I started this post by saying my wife is pretty awesome right? The fact is, we are best friends and we both just understand each. We understand what make each other tick. I feel like having a partner who didn't want me to play golf would make me want to be less flexible and would lead to more issues. But she is considerate of my interests so I make sure it fits in with her plans as well...

[Double Mocha Man]

Sheesh this thread making me absolutely want to stay single. The current gf constantly complains about my weekend tourneys (like 7 or 8 this year) and just imagining that progress sounds like a hell I want no part of.

 

Nah just have to find the right partner. My wife is pretty awesome. She gets that golf makes me happy, it's my way of relaxing, connecting with my buddies and/or just getting away. As long as I don't over do it she encourages me to play. Over doing it is when I start getting into the 4 day a week range. Like both weekend days and a couple nights.

 

My main thing is I am just always mindful of her/our plans on the weekend. So I don't have a set time. She's not a huge early bird so I know if I get out before 9am I am all clear. I just make sure golf fits into the schedule so we can do everything we want to do and have a great week. Like we like to cycle (well I like to cycle, she loves to cycle) so on the weekends I make sure there is to get a ride in when she wants to ride. I just adjust my golf around it.

 

It's a give and take. She gets that it's a huge part of who I am and what makes me happy and I get that I shouldn't be at a course all weekend long. So we both compromise a bit. I shift my times and make sure golf isn't really interfering with the weekend and she's cool with it. It's also a lot easier because we don't have kids (nor do we want kids).

 

A handful of years ago she finally got the itch to see what golf was all about. She loves it now. She doesn't like playing more than once a week (unless it's 18 on the weekend and a week night 9) but she really enjoys it. That has certainly made some things easier. She knows part of why I love golf is the competition and having some guy time. So weekend where she wants to golf, it becomes 2 round weekends for me. one with my buddies and one with her.

 

I started this post by saying my wife is pretty awesome right? The fact is, we are best friends and we both just understand each. We understand what make each other tick. I feel like having a partner who didn't want me to play golf would make me want to be less flexible and would lead to more issues. But she is considerate of my interests so I make sure it fits in with her plans as well...

 

 

And hopefully you showed this to your wife for reading. You know, this was essentially a love letter to your wife.

[BeerPerHole]

Was listening to an interesting podcast on the way in this morning. It was a recent interview of the guy who wrote Men are from Mars... I immediately thought of this thread and the various viewpoints on it. What this guy was talking about, though, brings it back to providing for your spouse what they emotionally need to help with their happiness and health. Being a golfing husband with a woman who fights it fits the discussion perfectly.

 

Thank god my wife loves to play golf...oh thank god...she even likes to go fishing. There is a god...

[bscinstnct]

I say,

 

"I'm going to go play golf, back in 6 hours"

 

 

Wife be like,

 

 

[JerseyBoy]

I say,

 

"I'm going to go play golf, back in 6 hours"

 

 

Wife be like,

 

 

 

And Warren Haynes is your avatar. My man.

[N8dogg2669]

Tell her good bye

[Jacked_Loft]

Hate to say this but, I doubt she hates golf. She hates you enjoying yourself.

 

Hate to say it, but this sounds terribly correct.

[baller4opca]

I tried to explain to her that this is an investment into our future. How else am I going to go pro and make millions?

[Larry The Golfing Doc]

I played very little for about 10 years. Maybe 4-5 times a year during this time frame at most. The reason for it was we were establishing a family and our careers. Prior to that I played daily almost from 18 until then. Once the kids got old enough to start playing some with me or at least hanging out with me while I played, it made a lot more sense to play again. It's tough to find the time when you have youngins and are working 70 hour weeks establishing yourself.

 

I now usually work around 50 hours a week and my kids are old enough to play with me. That becomes a pretty easy sell. "Hey, I'm taking the kids golfing Sunday-unless you have other plans? If not enjoy a free house for 5 hours!" She enjoys the less loud time and I enjoy the hell out of playing golf with my kids. Sure I play some without them, but 90% of my golf time is spent with some combination or all of them with. Helps that they all like to golf so it's not like I ever get a "dad! I don't want to!" from any of them.

[St Jimmy]

I say yes to anything the wife says or wants.

 

That way when I golf 3-4 times a week I can throw it back in her face.

[Jacked_Loft]

What's the old saying?

 

"If she don't play, she won't stay"?

[spazo]

You're asking this question one a golf forum...just think about that one

 

Figure out if golf is more important than martial peace. If it is, tell her to deal with it. If you realize the truth--ie, that it's not--maybe you can find ways to meet her needs without completely sacrificing your game. Play less, but don't cut it out completely. Play 9. Do it only when the kids are already being cared for. Skip golf every once in awhile just to take her to lunch. Show her golf isn't more important than her.

 

Unless it is, in which case, get your divorce papers ready

[Imp]

It was satire, guys. I'm a woman and I find the "women from culturally sexist countries make better wives than American women" offensive. Just to make that crystal clear.

I wasn't going to respond to this thread until I read this and the other post where you spoke for all women in the world saying

Speaking as a woman who loves golf, plays 2x a week, and has managed successful relationships: women don't hate something just because you enjoy it. And if you think that's the case, I feel sorry for your prospects at a happy relationship.

 

YOU may not, your friends may not. However, I know many that do. Please don't speak in absolutes like that. You're only fooling yourself.

 

As for the top quote, That's fine. You can take offense to anything you please, but please understand this: your interpretation of the statement (not sexist countries, especially Sweden) and your offense to it doesn't make your offense itself valid. I've got friends in 20 countries, not just passing acquaintances, but friends that would open the door up to me if I showed up on it and let me stay. People in general, consider themselves and treat each other with much more respect and as equals MUCH BETTER than here in the US. Here in the US, and you highlight a perfect example of it, people get offended at almost everything, as if it means something.

 

Over there? LOL. They get it. And this is both women and men. They get that being offended changes and does nothing but reflect more on the offended, which leads to a nice relaxed atmosphere where people are NOT afraid to speak their mind, because they can speak knowing that civility is proper discourse and conversation, not the wall of "being offended". When someone is offended, you cannot hold a discussion with them. It ends there, because they are closed to any other options but their own. And believe me, the women, especially in Scandinavia are NOT repressed, but also don't get offended, and if they are, they'd rather talk about it than saying "I'm offended!".

 

As far as the OP, I'll give the same advice that time tests and works: you have to talk about it to your wife and get to the root of it. ANY resentment of anything the spouse does is not healthy to a relationship. It may seem hard, may even be emotional, but it needs to happen. Use many of the points made by others, decompresses, clears the head, etc... you HAVE to have some time to yourself.

 

--kC

[HoosierHacker89]

Dude you need to communicate with your wife. Figure out a plan that work best for both of you guys. Marriage is a partnership. Lying just for golf? That's gross! If I found out about that I would really question what else you're lying about. Without trust there is nothing.

[KTEXAS1316]

Tell her you are working on your shut club face at the top! LOL

 

Sorry I just couldn't resist

[sheppy335]

If she likes something alot. Nag on her about it 24/7. She might get the picture if not sorry divorce is only option.

[JDFish]

I'm fortunate in that my father in law told my wife before we married that she can't mess with my golf or drinking with my buddies. But, like with all issues, there should be a compromise that can be reached. It takes communication and may not be easy. I cut way back on golf when my kids were younger. But now, with one in college and the other having her driver's license, I'm able to get more golf in. You wife may need to find a hobby or activity that she enjoys.

[ode1]

Yikes, reading thru this thread confirms why I am not married.

 

Good luck OP!

[jerebear21]

I’ll be on the other side of the extremes here. Marriage is the reason I get to golf even more. Because there are family duties I’ve become the most efficient human being known to man kind. No. I’m not exaggerating. I’ve cut out the fat that’s held me down and most people down. Television? What’s that. Out drinking on a weekday? Decline. I’ve also stop playing with friends who can’t keep up. Yes it sounds like there’s no joy but you really appreciate the time you have when you start a family. Time is of the essence. And balance of a family is more important.

 

I do however have the luxury of playing 18 during lunch time. And my home club is 100 yards from my house.

 

And to touch base with what to tell your wife. You tell her nothing. You show her how great of a husband you are and whatever spare time that’s available it should be yours. I often see a double standard where her free time is her but your free time is not.

 

Worst case scenario tell her it’s better than cocaine and gambling.

[sheppy335]

I agree it doesntake compromise, when my kids were born i cut back also. As they got older it has ramped up, now that one plays it is easy to go. My wife also suggested i get in a league. I also make sure to help her out also with things.

[GooseHook]

I'm newly married, but one of the things my wife always says about me is that my hobby is to collect hobbies. Consuming information and staying active is what attracted her to me in the first place.

 

She understands that I need to play to maintain my own mental health, and that when other priorities arise I won't be on the course with a phone on silent. We both have very good incomes for our age and separate accounts, so there aren't any fights about the cost of the game and I try to keep my ho'ing down (one bought, one sold). That being said, I wish she had a personal hobby of her own because I don't want her to depend on my presence for company.

 

Her dad fly fishes, at least I don't disappear to Montana three times a year for a week.

[BeerPerHole]

This thread is depressing to read. Probably because I've experienced a selfish wife. I must have a little PTSD from that. The comments here about needing to "sack up", or man up or whatever really ring true. If a man doesn't lay the ground rules early with some gusto it could turn sour in a way that costs you lots of time, and money (not to mention friends and family). I feel blessed now that 3/4 of my family, including my lovely wife, really love golf.

[lefty1978]

A lot of this could be avoided with open communication during dating and what each other's expectations are. I've been married 16 years to the same wonderful women, have 2 kids together.

 

I play golf once or twice a week, plus play in a baseball league in the summer. She knew when we were dating that sports were very important to me. There is plenty of time in the day and week to fit family time and fun time.

 

If you are dating and your girl is having issues with your activities and wants you to spend every waking hour with her...run fast. It's only going to get worse, especially when the kids come.

[ohioglfr]

Sounds like . . .

 

[ssfranny]

> @baller4opca said:

> I have had to use every excuse in the book to get a round in. For years now she has hated any chance for me to play golf. She says it takes time from the family, waste of money, etc. Even when neither reason is accurate, she makes it a pain for me to go out and tries to guilt me. Anyone else get this and what do you say or do? Divorce is not an option. Lol.

 

Tell her to get to steppin? My wife plays and is pretty good. If she wasnt prob not have gotten married haha

 

 

[LeftDaddy]

I’ve posted about this before, but will again. To the OP, it can get better. Early in our marriage, my wife wasn’t exactly encouraging of me picking up golf. I think that at the time, she didn’t have a lot of hobbies nor friends (we had just moved to a new place). And to be totally truthful, she didn’t exactly like that I was enjoying myself while she was at home and she never hesitated to let me know that.

 

She’s a great wife overall, but we did have some fights over things like this in the early days. And I do believe that at one time she fell into the “doesn’t like me golfing because she doesn’t want me enjoying myself “ category (not anymore though).

 

But she grew up some, made some friends, started a hobby (tennis), and slowly became more open to me playing golf, etc. Now, I play about once a week and have a way-too-expensive club membership (that she encouraged me to do). I certainly did years and years of encouraging her to do her things, rarely complaining about what she bought, encouraging her to spend time with friends, etc. I think she now understands all that I do for her and the kids, and all I ask in return is golf and some college football.

 

My point is that it can get better. It took some arguments. It took practically a lifetime of me giving her what I wanted her to give me. It took me sacrificing pretty much any time for myself when our kids were younger. But it all started to change, and we have a great marriage and great kids, etc. Marriage takes work, but it is totally worth it. Best of luck to you!