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Parents communicating on sidelines


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I saw something interesting recently. Out ahead on a par 4 spotting balls as usual. The players were waiting to hit. OB down the entire right side and wind was blowing hard toward the OB. Father rips off some grass and holds it until its time for the boys to hit. When he sees his son look our way, he tosses the grass in the air and repeats this 3-4 times. Clearly he wanted his son to see what he was doing. Not sure if that is against any specific rule but...

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This is something we are just starting to have experience with, and I must say watching my son have to play with no help from me has been tough. 1st event was a straight in front course that he could manage on his own and did decent. The next event was really a tricky layout with hazards in strange locations. It was really tough to watch him get so deflated as his score climbed higher than he has shot since he was 7 just starting out. I know every competitive golfer has to go through this learning curve, but it’s tough on dad.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have have witnessed on 2 occasions in 9 and 10 year old girl's dad acting as human aiming targets. Walking up the fairway and say to aim at me or standing on the green for chip shots as the aiming point then moving when their daughter hits. I find the Human Aiming Point completely annoying.

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Since this thread popped up again I'll add to my previous experience with the dad giving advice to his son in a 'spectator only' event. We ended up paired with him in a three day event on the second day. Since this event allowed caddies I didn't think there would be an issue. I was wrong... on one hole the boy had hit a wedge shot that landed short of the green and rolled back a little (maybe three feet). The boy decided to putt it onto the green but went and used his pitch mark tool (or maybe a tee) to fix the pitch mark in the fringe that was in line with his putt. I told the dad that he couldn't do that and it would incur a penalty. The dad immediately jumped down my throat saying that rule had changed in January but I told him that fixing marks on the green was ok but he's fixing a mark in the fringe off of the green on his intended line which would incur a penalty. My son wrote a 6 on the card for the rules infraction but noted it to speak with the rules people at the end of the round. So that we could enjoy the remainder of our round I just told the dad that the kids should talk it out with the tournament folks at the end of the round and they could decide from there. It just so happened that at this event my wife was walking with our group and lagging behind but on the way into the clubhouse she overheard the dad coaching his son on what to say at the scoring table about how the ball mark was at least ten feet away off to the side and he was just helping maintain the course (all not true). The kid ended up not receiving the penalty because his dad coached him to lie.

 

On another hole the same boy hit his tee shot into a fairway bunker up against a tree. He tried to hit it out and onto the green but ended up in the lake. The boy then slammed his club multiple times into the sand and started kicking the golf cart over and over again while completely sobbing and yelling.

 

This coming weekend the same boy will be in the group behind my son that again is spectators only. I can't wait to see how this plays out.

 

 

There's definitely something more important that I should be doing.
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Our first tournament a couple weekends ago was eye-opening... Apparently one of the parents of a 14 yo player was caught dropping a ball in the rough close to the out of bounds and then yelling that he had "found" the ball. So yeah, it doesn't surprise me when I read some of these posts about people coaching their kids to lie, etc.

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Good Lord, these last two posts are just incredible.

My son has played jr, HS and college golf. I know this happens, but I've never seen it. It's just incomprehensible that a father can be so short sighted to INSTILL this type of behavior into his child. No doubt that these to fathers would have excuses for doing so. Just incredible.

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> @"Bob Cat" said:

> Good Lord, these last two posts are just incredible.

> My son has played jr, HS and college golf. I know this happens, but I've never seen it. It's just incomprehensible that a father can be so short sighted to INSTILL this type of behavior into his child. No doubt that these to fathers would have excuses for doing so. Just incredible.

 

My daughter played in the High School State Championship every year from 9th to 10th grade. Her first year there as a freshman, her team was paired with their rival from the same District and Region. The other team won Districts, but we won Regionals. My daughter was playing number 4 and it was odd from the get go. Their numbers 1-3 were stout while numbers 4 and 5 were not very good. The girl had been coached to putt out and then run to the next hole to tee off before the other girl's were finished. We didn't put the pieces to this puzzle together until later in the day. Their coaches would always be on the next hole. The first part of strangeness was a par 4 dogleg right. This girl hits her drive and everyone knows it is in the woods. I mean it wasn't even close it was in the woods. They come around the bend to this dogleg and their her coach is right next to her ball in the rough. Wow, what a break. Coach wouldn't cheat right? So this happened several times in the round. My wife are discussing what is happening and start keeping an eye on him. Get to number 18 which is a par 5. There is a creek that runs through the fairway that is reachable with driver. Almost every girl is teeing up with a hybrid at most because there is a lot of trouble next to this creek. This girl on the other team goes Driver and no one know where the ball is because it went into the middle of the creek. We were there and saw it hit a creek and fall down. We are 20 ft. from the coach and started helping him look for the ball. We walked up, down, through and it was know where. We looked on both sides of that damn creek. As soon as my wife and I both turn our heads we hear "Here it is". Coach is standing 20 feet on the other side of the creek in not so deep rough and his front right pocket was hanging out. He flipping pulled a ball from his pocket. Said something to our coach who said something to the officials. Officials confronted the coach and he denied it. Since we didn't physically see him drop it, they could do nothing. Wouldn't you know it, the team they were paired with the next day accused them of doing the same thing with the officials, but since no one saw them physically do it they got away with it.

I am GenX.  If you really think I care about what you have to say, I don't.

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My sons younger and has only played a handful of tournaments where I could only spectate. But even when I caddy and his ball goes into the woods towards put of bounds I try and get another dad to go in with me. Also I make sure I dont have any extra balls in my pocket l. My son my never make it to a high level of golf but I emphasize the importance of not being that guy and having a good reputation. No one wants to play with that guy.

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During competitions where I do not know the parents:

 

When searching for my daughter's errant drives in the rough, I extend my arms out (as if stretching) to "show" others my hands aren't in my pocket. I also keep an eye out on other parents' hands when they are in the rough searching for balls...especially the ones who don't count whiffs, grounding in the bunker or accidental contact when preparing for the putt, etc. This started a couple months back after reading the posts on this forum. :)

 

 

 

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> @heavy_hitter said:

> > @"Bob Cat" said:

> > Good Lord, these last two posts are just incredible.

> > My son has played jr, HS and college golf. I know this happens, but I've never seen it. It's just incomprehensible that a father can be so short sighted to INSTILL this type of behavior into his child. No doubt that these to fathers would have excuses for doing so. Just incredible.

>

> My daughter played in the High School State Championship every year from 9th to 10th grade. Her first year there as a freshman, her team was paired with their rival from the same District and Region. The other team won Districts, but we won Regionals. My daughter was playing number 4 and it was odd from the get go. Their numbers 1-3 were stout while numbers 4 and 5 were not very good. The girl had been coached to putt out and then run to the next hole to tee off before the other girl's were finished. We didn't put the pieces to this puzzle together until later in the day. Their coaches would always be on the next hole. The first part of strangeness was a par 4 dogleg right. This girl hits her drive and everyone knows it is in the woods. I mean it wasn't even close it was in the woods. They come around the bend to this dogleg and their her coach is right next to her ball in the rough. Wow, what a break. Coach wouldn't cheat right? So this happened several times in the round. My wife are discussing what is happening and start keeping an eye on him. Get to number 18 which is a par 5. There is a creek that runs through the fairway that is reachable with driver. Almost every girl is teeing up with a hybrid at most because there is a lot of trouble next to this creek. This girl on the other team goes Driver and no one know where the ball is because it went into the middle of the creek. We were there and saw it hit a creek and fall down. We are 20 ft. from the coach and started helping him look for the ball. We walked up, down, through and it was know where. We looked on both sides of that **** creek. As soon as my wife and I both turn our heads we hear "Here it is". Coach is standing 20 feet on the other side of the creek in not so deep rough and his front right pocket was hanging out. He flipping pulled a ball from his pocket. Said something to our coach who said something to the officials. Officials confronted the coach and he denied it. Since we didn't physically see him drop it, they could do nothing. Wouldn't you know it, the team they were paired with the next day accused them of doing the same thing with the officials, but since no one saw them physically do it they got away with it.

 

So please correct me if I'm wrong. If a player holes out first and goes to the next tee box, that player can setup and prepare for the shot but is not allowed to hit their shot unless additional player joins him/her to witness it, or so that's what I've been told. Otherwise, there will be incidents such as this.

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> @mrshinsa said:

> > @heavy_hitter said:

> > > @"Bob Cat" said:

> > > Good Lord, these last two posts are just incredible.

> > > My son has played jr, HS and college golf. I know this happens, but I've never seen it. It's just incomprehensible that a father can be so short sighted to INSTILL this type of behavior into his child. No doubt that these to fathers would have excuses for doing so. Just incredible.

> >

> > My daughter played in the High School State Championship every year from 9th to 10th grade. Her first year there as a freshman, her team was paired with their rival from the same District and Region. The other team won Districts, but we won Regionals. My daughter was playing number 4 and it was odd from the get go. Their numbers 1-3 were stout while numbers 4 and 5 were not very good. The girl had been coached to putt out and then run to the next hole to tee off before the other girl's were finished. We didn't put the pieces to this puzzle together until later in the day. Their coaches would always be on the next hole. The first part of strangeness was a par 4 dogleg right. This girl hits her drive and everyone knows it is in the woods. I mean it wasn't even close it was in the woods. They come around the bend to this dogleg and their her coach is right next to her ball in the rough. Wow, what a break. Coach wouldn't cheat right? So this happened several times in the round. My wife are discussing what is happening and start keeping an eye on him. Get to number 18 which is a par 5. There is a creek that runs through the fairway that is reachable with driver. Almost every girl is teeing up with a hybrid at most because there is a lot of trouble next to this creek. This girl on the other team goes Driver and no one know where the ball is because it went into the middle of the creek. We were there and saw it hit a creek and fall down. We are 20 ft. from the coach and started helping him look for the ball. We walked up, down, through and it was know where. We looked on both sides of that **** creek. As soon as my wife and I both turn our heads we hear "Here it is". Coach is standing 20 feet on the other side of the creek in not so deep rough and his front right pocket was hanging out. He flipping pulled a ball from his pocket. Said something to our coach who said something to the officials. Officials confronted the coach and he denied it. Since we didn't physically see him drop it, they could do nothing. Wouldn't you know it, the team they were paired with the next day accused them of doing the same thing with the officials, but since no one saw them physically do it they got away with it.

>

> So please correct me if I'm wrong. If a player holes out first and goes to the next tee box, that player can setup and prepare for the shot but is not allowed to hit their shot unless additional player joins him/her to witness it, or so that's what I've been told. Otherwise, there will be incidents such as this.

 

AJGA rules state that this is the way to play to keep pace up. First player that holes out packs their cart and moves to the next hole to tee off. 2nd player grabs the flag. They discuss scores at the next tee box.

I am GenX.  If you really think I care about what you have to say, I don't.

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