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Best golf insults or one liners


ldandrea

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I rarely get angry, but one poser wannabe I played with years ago was so ridiculously slow that I let loose with, "For heaven's sake, just hit the damn ball! Our clothes are going out of style waiting for you!"

 

 

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bought out by private equity.

capitalization, grammar and reasoning slashed as a cost reduction.

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Got paired up with a twosome. One guy was a solid golfer and the other was a beginner.

The good golfer was trying to help his buddy out during the round. They weren't holding us up or anything so it was fine, and my view is, at some point we were all beginners.

Finally at about the 14th hole or so the beginner is frustrated and his buddy, the good golfer, just says, "Maybe you're left-handed?"

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High pressure situation ... Buddy (whose a single cap) cold tops a drive and there is an uneasy silence broken by "Catch that one a groove low?"

Driver #1: Callaway Epic Max LS, 9°

Driver #2: Adams Speedline F11, 9.5°

Fairway: Callaway Rogue ST Max LS, 18°

Utility Iron: Titleist 718 AP3, 19°

Irons: Titleist 718 AP1, 5-GW, 24°-48°
UW: Titleist Vokey SM8, 52°F

LW: Titleist Vokey SM8, 60°D
Putter: Cameron Studio Style Newport 2.5, 33"
Ball: Bridgestone Tour B RX
Bag: Sun Mountain Metro Sunday Bag

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> @ldandrea said:

> I played with a guy the other day who gave me the best one liner I’ve ever heard. I shanked my drive on the first tee and he turned to me straight faced and said “shake it off you had a bad lie”. I almost pissed myself! What’s the best one liner or insult you’ve heard on the course?

 

That's a great one, I say something similar when someone leaves a putt short "Smart choice to lay up from there. From that lie? Smart golf"

WITB
Taylormade SIM2 10.5* Ventus Black 6X
Taylormade SIM 19* AD-DI 7X

Taylormade Stealth 3h Ventus Blue 9X
Mizuno MP-69 4-PW Modus 120 S
Vokey SM9 50 - 55 - 60 DGTI S400 

Scotty Cameron GoLo 6

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I personally love "that's a good shot for you"

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Ping G400 LST 11* Ventus Black TR 5x

Ping G400 3w 15.1* GD AD IZ 5x

Ping G400 7w 19.5* Ventus Red 6x 

Ping G425 4h 22* Blueboard HY 80x

Ping i210 6i & s55 7i - PW Steelfiber 110s

Ping Glide Wrx 49*, 54*, 59*ES, Tour W 64* SF 125s

EvnRoll ER9
 

 

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Had a guy in our group, that when marking his ball on the green, was very generous with replacing it. He would mark and replace at least 2 times and sometimes a third time. One day, a new player that joined us watched this in wonder as we didn't say anything. Finally on about the 5th hole, after he watched marking 2 times, he just blurted out........."mark it again and it's a gimme".

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In group with two older gentleman at a nice resort course and one playing partner hit an iron shot very fat, guy blurted out "does anyone else smell Chinese food?"?

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Titleist TSR2 10* (d4 surefit) Fujikura Motore Speeder 7.2s
Titleist 904f 17* YS7+s
Titleist 962b 3-pw s300
Cleveland zipcore tour rack custom 52* s400
Cleveland zipcore tour rack custom 58* s400
Ping Zing2 BeCu

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My go-to is "Right club, wrong player"

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WITB

Titleist TSi2 9º w/ Ventus Blue 7-TX

Callaway Apex UW 17º w/ Hazardous Smoke

Callaway Apex UW 21º w/ Hazardous Smoke

Srixon U85 w/ UST Recoil 95

6-43º Titleist T400 w/ DG AMT Red

48º Vokey SM6, 54º Vokey SM8 Raw, 60º SM9 Raw

Titleist Scotty Cameron Newport Masterful Tourtype SSS CT A048277

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A severely lipped - out putt: "she had it in her mouth, and then her mom walked in."

 

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Club Fitter/Builder (Wishon)

719MW  11* Red R Shaft - 919THI 11* Black S 65 shaft 
EQ1-NX 3, 927HS 5, 7 woods Red R-Flex
797HS 4 & 5 Red R Shaft 
585's, EQ1-NX, 550 combo, 575's, 565's various shafts
20+ wedges!

Wishon Cavity Black CB4 putter

Willy, Bridgy, Srixy Balls

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"with how often you're in the woods, i'm sure you have a tree iron"

PING G430 LST / 9* (dialed to 10.5*) / HZRDUS Smoke Green 60 6.5

Dark Speed LS / 3w (dialed to 15.5*) / Denali Blue 70TX

Mizuno Pro 24 Fli-Hi / 3i / HZRDUS Smoke Black RDX 100 6.5
Mizuno Pro 245 / 4-GW / KBS Tour X

SM9 Black / 54,58 / KBS Tour S+

____________________________________________

Odyssey AI-ONE 7CH 35”

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