How would YOU deal with this guy ?

[Augster]

Cut him out altogether. On days you are to be paired with him, refuse the pairing and force a redraw. Tell everyone in the group you won't be playing with this guy again. That way, when they do the pairings, they know in advance to avoid that pairing.

 

Let the guys know that life is too short to spend 4+ hours with an A-hole. If they don't respect your wishes and continue to pair him with you, just leave on days you get paired up until they take the hint and realize you're serious about this.

[golfortennis]

I still think a sincere hug is worthwhile.

 

If that doesn't work, how about smoking a joint together?

 

This tough talk and preparation for a brawl seems a bit much. Do two grumpy old men really have to go that route? What would Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon do?

 

"I'm am going to catch catfish hunter."

 

"You couldn't catch crabs from a $10 hooker."

[chrismikayla]

Put the needle to him. When you play with him ride him about whatever. He will shut up. People like that don't like it when the tide is turned.I played with a guy like this and I put it to him in a nice quiet style. If he gets mad after a few times of this tell him, " You don't need to be so sensitive " and smile when you do it. A well place needle can shut him up for the day. I know he is your partner for the day, but when he acts like a As#h*l@ he brings the whole group down.

 

I like this. Turn the tables.

 

"My goodness, in all our years playing together, I don't think I've ever seen you hit it this bad", or maybe, "if you spent a little less time worrying about your partner maybe you could actually help him a little".

 

In all actuality, I'd like to say something but really am pretty quiet, probably would just suffer in silence.

:D :D

[golfortennis]

Put the needle to him. When you play with him ride him about whatever. He will shut up. People like that don't like it when the tide is turned.I played with a guy like this and I put it to him in a nice quiet style. If he gets mad after a few times of this tell him, " You don't need to be so sensitive " and smile when you do it. A well place needle can shut him up for the day. I know he is your partner for the day, but when he acts like a As#h*l@ he brings the whole group down.

 

I like this. Turn the tables.

 

"My goodness, in all our years playing together, I don't think I've ever seen you hit it this bad", or maybe, "if you spent a little less time worrying about your partner maybe you could actually help him a little".

 

In all actuality, I'd like to say something but really am pretty quiet, probably would just suffer in silence.

:D :D

 

The one in our group when one of us gets peeved at ourselves for playing badly is "You're not good enough to get that mad about golf!"

[BlackDiamondPar5]

Next time he strikes first with a negative comment, upon his next bad shot, ask him if he ever considered taking up bowling instead?

[mark m]

Next time he strikes first with a negative comment, upon his next bad shot, ask him if he ever considered taking up bowling instead?

 

My responses would be like the above. I would point out how negative he is each and everytime. Calmly. and try to use some humor or biting humor.

 

"Man you are negative. Did someone pee on your Wheaties this morning?"

 

"Or did you have a tough night?"

 

"There you go again. You would be a great caddie. Very supportive."

 

"Do you talk this way to yourself? If so, I can see why your game has gone in the toilet."

 

If you get the other guys in your group laughing, it will stop.

[SNIPERBBB]

“You shouldn’t have humiliated him,” Tomer said. Janson peered at him. “This whole world is full of ‘shouldn’t haves,’ Tomer. Without that humiliation, there was no chance he’d learn anything. With it, I figure he has about a five percent chance of realizing that he’s a big bag of Hutt droppings. Which is five percent more than he had a few minutes ago.” He shrugged. “Who’s hungry?”

 

Starfighters of Adumar by Aaron Alston

[PattySal]

I'd would have told him to **** *** long ago.

 

+1 Golf is a gentleman's game, if you don't want to be a gentleman, you can go **** yourself.

[dcfas]

I'd see if I can switch groups to avoid playing with him. Defeats the purpose of golfing- enjoyment.

[larrybud]

If it was this over the top, I think I'd just start laughing!

[MeikoKaji]

We have a daily game of 10 to 25 mostly older fellows. We play a team game. Each player counts him score each hole, lowest score goes on the card. Different partners most every day so I don't get him every day. This guy and I go back many years. He was a good player . Got along OK but when I started beating him on a regular basis, he became very condescending to me. It showed up more when he was playing bad, which he does a lot anymore. He's literly shouted at me several times in the past,. I usually just turn the other cheek or tell him I hope he gets feeling better soon.. He'll comment on my bad shots, missed putts etc , generally making light of things I might say. Mind you, he's mostly OK if he's playing well. Only have to put up with his bragging then. lol. Today he jumped on me for asking if we had a par down before I putted for a birdie.. It was on the last hole and I'd had enough so I barked back. . Most of the guys know the history between him and I but I hate to have a shout down in front of the guys. Even though I know I'm in the right, I think it's rude to do this. How would you fellows handle this. I'm not going to whip his azz so don't tell me that.

I bet you're not the only one and I bet the club or organizer knows it.

 

Our club used to let you x-out people you didn't want to pair with in tournaments which was great. But, in the end, the one big a**h*** was left out so they went to computer matching and no changes.

 

Then, because the guy was a problem the golf committee sat him down and told him that there are complaints and they need to stop. He was given 'rules' he has to follow or be banned from tournaments. They are: he has to share a cart so he can't drive ahead and take free drops for *plugged* lies or *find* lost balls. He had to identify his ball and show his competitors before play and whenever he changes the ball. He can't drive the ball into the group ahead.

 

I paired with him in the last tourney and he was a different person. Dare I say he was actually enjoyable to play with.

 

I am proud of the club for doing something. Sometimes it take someone in authority to correct bad behavior.

[vjtexp]

Geez he sounds miserable to play with.

[Sean2]

Thanks everyone for the Very good comments about my problem guy. It sounds like and I'm sure, everyone has dealt with guys like this. I've tried ignoring him but he'll be nice for awhile (hours not weeks) and then, koboom, the jerk comes out. I do not want to cause a fuss as nobody wants to see 2 old guys arguing but I'm not good in these confrontational situations. It appears I could/should be more assertive.

 

I played in something similar. There was this one guy I was occasionally paired with who was absolutely no fun to play golf with...throwing clubs, cursing, etc. I once asked him a question about my lie. He looked at me and yelled, "What do I look like, a f'ing rules official!"

 

I simply stopped playing with that group. I am out there to enjoy myself, I don't need the aggravation.

[Cwebb]

I'd would have told him to **** *** long ago.

 

+1 Golf is a gentleman's game, if you don't want to be a gentleman, you can go **** yourself.

 

Although gentlemen don't tell people to go **** themselves

[LeoLeo99]

I'd would have told him to **** *** long ago.

 

+1 Golf is a gentleman's game, if you don't want to be a gentleman, you can go **** yourself.

 

Although gentlemen don't tell people to go **** themselves

 

Sometimes, it's unavoidable.

[Cwing]

Three sides to every story. Your side, we read it. His side? What would he tell us about you? Truth likely lies in the middle.

[HatsForBats]

I wonder how many golfers would be left if you took away all the players that are not gentleman. In my experience there would be a very small percentage left. Your mileage may vary or your definition of what makes a 'gentleman' is greatly skewed.

[sumed]

well if his comments are the worst when he's playing bad then that's the perfect time to heckle him, on the putting green or tee box preferably when you're around the whole group... if he leaves a put short ask him if you've mistaken his gender, miss reads a put tell him he has too much "loft" when he looks at you quizzically tell him "yeah, loft... lack of f'n talent".

 

You get the idea... be creative, but don't take any crap off him...

[billh17]

Just curious..you mentioned that all the other guys in your group are aware of the history between the two of you.That would have me thinking

whether i wanted to be around this guy at all. also ,.Friends dont let sore spots fester until they become infected. Talk to him,and get the issues

resolved,or make it clear that you won't be talking to him ,and tell him why.

[bassman1308]

I started this tread 2 years ago. I appreciated all the comments so I thought I'd fill you fellows in on how this all ended up. I started ignoring him, not starting any conversation and answering his questions with few words. I carried on with the other golfers as I always do. His play has gotten worse and one day he had a fit and threw a golf ball , point blank, into the side of my new car, left a ball sized dent and chip and actually shoved me while threatening me. unknown to him, there were 2 witnesses , 1 was in the cart barn within 20 feet of us. I brought them to my car , showed them the damage, and went directly to the policy dept and filed a report. Someone called on his behalf and I offered to drop charges with a written, signed apology and payment for the damages. I got neither but dropped the battery charge as it would be a felony. Judge found him guilty and fined him for damages. I then made sure he was never put on my team. He seldom plays anymore. Knowing him, he's extremely embarrassed. The police officer told me people like him are hard to reconcile with so I guess it was going to end up this way sooner or later. Turning the other cheek does not always work. It took me a long time to learn that I guess.

[bladehunter]

Wow op.

 

 

Not shocked by this. Sounds a lot like my father in law. He rode me for 4 years after my wife and I. Married. And it came to a head one day while working in the field burning a brush pile. He threatened to “ use this pitch fork on you “ ( me). To which I replied. “ look around. Who’s going to help you once you start down that road. ? When you come at me you better be ready to kill me. And don’t start for your truck. I know where your gun is and you’ll never get there alive”. . For context we where in the middle of 40 acres. Well out of shouting range for him.

 

 

An hour later I put my hand out and said “ we can put this behind us if you can act right and treat me like a human “. He shook my hand without a word. But he’s never treated me like dirt again.

 

 

It’s crazy that people will take it that far.

[golfortennis]

> @bassman1308 said:

> I started this tread 2 years ago. I appreciated all the comments so I thought I'd fill you fellows in on how this all ended up. I started ignoring him, not starting any conversation and answering his questions with few words. I carried on with the other golfers as I always do. His play has gotten worse and one day he had a fit and threw a golf ball , point blank, into the side of my new car, left a ball sized dent and chip and actually shoved me while threatening me. unknown to him, there were 2 witnesses , 1 was in the cart barn within 20 feet of us. I brought them to my car , showed them the damage, and went directly to the policy dept and filed a report. Someone called on his behalf and I offered to drop charges with a written, signed apology and payment for the damages. I got neither but dropped the battery charge as it would be a felony. Judge found him guilty and fined him for damages. I then made sure he was never put on my team. He seldom plays anymore. Knowing him, he's extremely embarrassed. The police officer told me people like him are hard to reconcile with so I guess it was going to end up this way sooner or later. Turning the other cheek does not always work. It took me a long time to learn that I guess.

 

So the thing is, had you called out his d-baggery sooner, does it reach the point of all of that? I don't know, I'm just wondering. A lot of time avoiding confrontation leads to a worse outcome later. As this seems to be. And why did you drop the assault charge? I mean a threat and a shove.... over golf. I'm curious about your thought process.

[golfortennis]

> @Cwebb said:

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> Although gentlemen don't tell people to go **** themselves

 

When it comes to that, I suggest they enjoy personal coitus, Usually takes long enough that I've walked away before they figure it out.

[Moo]

I play with a couple of hundred people each year, but I'm in 3 regular groups and 2 of those groups have a random pairing thing like you have. And we have a few jerks and a few guys that even in their 50's and 60's still haven't learned proper golf etiquette.

 

This is what I do.

 

1. Don't play with them. And in my case, I let it be known I don't want to play with them. The odd thing is this seems to be like a flu and several other people followed on and also hinted they didn't want to play with this one guy. Believe it or not, that guy got the message and changed his behavior.

2. Just take all their nonsense and keep beating them. Beat them badly if you can. Again, we have a guy in the Monday skins game that is a game player. Does all kinds of stupid things to throw off another player. I play my very best golf against that clown and it's fun to watch him get madder and madder as he gets beaten more and more.

3. Dish it back and do it better. I don't like this option as much, because it forces you to compromise on who you are.

 

 

[Dpavs]

Have you tried having an open discussion with him over a beer and a pizza? It's amazing how that can help sometimes.

But the bottom line in the end is, if you don't like him, don't play golf with him.

[cardoustie]

What set of his fit?

 

guys that misbehave with me get:

 

> the needle "that's a good shot for you" "how did that not go in" "nice hands" etc etc

> then the suggestive criticism "stop acting like a clown on the golf course with this angry behavior"

> Then the concerned intervention "is something going on with you bud? We can have a chat any time. But just so you know you are regarded as a PITA to play with for me and everyone else ... change now or nobody will play with you. I am not joking, you are out of line"

 

Then no play EVER if the Tiger hasn't changes his stripes

 

I fully ditched a hot head like this about 10 years ago, he nearly killed a friend of mine greenside with a violent helicopter toss of a wedge, my buddy had to duck ffs !

 

Bullies get away with antics if nobody sets them straight .. lesson of the day

[WarEagleGolf]

> @dicko999 said:

> Have you ever slept with any of his family members? Now might be the time to tell him...

 

This is the one. Nail his wife - ugly or not (or just act like you did - your choice) On a key hole, press the bet. When he accepts, tell him about the birthmark on his wife's inner thigh during his back swing. He will likely never return.

 

*Note. Have a club in your hand and be in defensive position just in case. Some people can't take a joke especially if you did nail his wife or you didn't and she does have a birthmark on her inner thigh.

[Graymulligan]

I'm always amazed at how these threads never include a suggestion to have a rational conversation like two grown adults. "sir, I don't like the way that you're acting, and this is why...let's talk this out and find a solution" is an amazing way to actually solve problems.

Glad it worked out, OP.

[Sean2]

I was new to golf and playing in something similar to what you described. I had a similar guy. I asked him for a clarification on a ruling and he jumped all over me. I just stood there, looked at him after he finished and asked nicely, "Dude, what is your problem? It's a simple question, why are you jumping all over me?" He mumbled something under his breath and walked away. I played with him another time and he was playing poorly and displaying his temper. On a par three, he hit his tee shot in the water, slammed his club down and we watched the head of the club follow the ball. I never played golf with him again. I am out there to enjoy myself, and I don't need a guy like that around to ruin the day.

[charli]

I would definitely have to say something back. But I’d go about it a little differently. I would make comments like remember when you used to beat me.. if he shanks one badly my god one of the worst shots I’d ever seen out of you what happened to your game.. and all with a smile on your face. Send digs his way but don’t lose your cool. I find this works great when people decide to try and ruin others time