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Most Embarrassing Golf Confession


Jtalberda

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Myrtle beach buddies trip in my 20s about 30 yrs ago 7 guys, pick up a single, preacher from Tennessee . So hung over 2 of us throw up in bushes on first tee at Kings North. Gentlemen said he would pray for us

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I saw almost the same thing back in 2000 or 2001. The difference is the guy chased his down and tackled it on the edge of the water. I'm pretty sure I pee'd a little on that one as I had a terrific vantage point above him.

My most embarrassing shot was a topped drive in a tournament. The ball plugged about a foot in front of my tee. That sucker was deep too.

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I had 110 into the pin. Gap wedge. My sister had called during the round, so I was distracted before I hit my shot. There was a group ahead, and they were clearing as I hung up.

The weird thing was the parking lot was right behind the hole, given the 12th hole was adjacent to the clubhouse. However, it was around 60 yards from the back edge of the green to the front part of the asphalt.

I noticed one of the guys had pulled out from the 12th into the parking lot. I hit my shot, and as I did, my sister's words randomly came into my head, and I'll be damned if I bladed my wedge shot, it bounced off the concrete, almost hit the guy near his car, and rolled all the way to the cartbarn.

I dropped another, playing 5, and knocked it 2 feet. What an incident.

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Push sliced a 120 yards shot and hit a plate glass window.Took a full 100% drive swing and took a divot 12 inches before the ball. The ball never moved.Rolled my pushcart down a hill and I guess the wheels were mis-aligned because it took a 45 degree right turn down the relatively straight downhill and rolled into the pond. Was playing with my wife and I'm sure i looked like a fool running after it once the cart got about halfway down the big slope.

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Not exactly embarrassing, but I can think of a few memorable bad shots I've hit in my two plus decades of this great game. I remember having a 110 yard second shot into a par 5 on a local course. I pulled my lob wedge as the second shot was downhill and a little down wind. I set up and swung. I thinned it and watched as it became a window seeking missile. I remember saying to my playing partner, "This is gonna be expensive" while it was still airborne. The ball bounced off what I now know is a plexiglass window. No damage. A lot of relief after that one.

Same course during league. The fifth hole is a dogleg left with houses lining the left hand side of the fairway. I hit driver and watched as my usual 3 yard draw turned into a 20 yard one. I heard it hit a house. So I hit my provisional and away I went. The homeowner was in his backyard and yelled at me as I approached. It went like this:

Him: Are you the one who hit my house?

Me: I am, sir.

Him: Do you know how to golf?

Me: I do

Him: You hit my house.

Me: Are you new? These houses get hit all the time.

Him: This is my first day here and I've been hit a few times. You guys stink.

Me: Are you serious? You have no idea what you're in for.

Him: You need to pay for the damage?

Me: What damage?

Him: I don't know yet. Your ball hit off of my roof and bounced back onto the course.

Me: You saw it bounce back. Where exactly? This is a big match!

He stomped away. He wasn't happy about my last line, but it was a big match. I didn't find the original ball and played my provisional. I lost the hole and the match.

 

I played another course in California and bounced a ball off of some lady's sliding glass door. No damage, but she was not happy.

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Playing Celebration in Florida. We're from the UK and paired for the second time on the trip but at a different course, with a guy from Nova Scotia we played with 4 days earlier, talk about coincidence....horrendous downpour just straight out of nowhere as we were getting off one green. My mate is then dicking about in the cart pulling rainpants on, oblivious to the fact our new buddy is on the tee. He lets out an enormous fart middle of the guys backswing, initiating some kind of swing spasm......Ping G5 driver is let go of mid downswing, missing ball completely, partly due to rain on the grip, partly due to fart induced bodily spasm, straight into the lake in front of the tee box. Conclusion - G5 drivers float well enough to recover.

Same mate, trying to chat up the cart girl at another course. Getting nowhere. Beverage cart departs, leaves a puddle of water on the fairway, I guess from the ice box drain. 'She was wet for me though!!' he says !!!

I threw a lob wedge up towards a large tree one time, bloody thing stayed up there. Late one following evening, I parked nearby on a quiet road and went back with a ladder. Up said tree, wedge in hand, Captain of the club happens to appear on the green below.....

Captain's Day, (highlight of club comp calendar) mate of mine is the Captain and his longest standing pal at the club is in my 3 ball. Captain and his wife standing on the putting green right by the 1st tee watching his 'party' tee off. Guy launches 3 brand new Pro V1's into the allotments, OB on the right. Medal play, playing 7 before a ball is in play so game over. Other member of the 3 ball asks him for the sleeve the balls came from so he can throw that into the allotments too.

 

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Not playing, but working. I was mowing greens for the course’s annual amateur event. Full field. We’re out mowing before the sun comes up and I’m on the par 3 11th. I make my first pass through the middle of the green and turn for my second to see one of the locking arms had come loose and I dug a 1 inch trench diagonally across the green. Needless to say the pro was pissed.

To add insult to injury, while I was playing in the tournament, the pin had been moved to the front of the green and I put my tee shot about 6 inches behind my trench. Not only was it a bad next put but I had to listen to my playing partners laugh about the dumb guy who dug the trench in the green. I did not admit it was me.

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my dad and i got paired with this one gentleman at a local course. my dad shanks a shot and nearly kills him. my dad says sorry and i laugh. then i realize that its my time to hit. and yes.... i shanked the ball right at him. hit him on his thigh. my dad and i were very apologetic but we couldn't help but to chuckle at ourselves.

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16th hole with my normal group. Green is very elevated and it's been raining for about a week. I walk over to the edge of the green and see my ball at the bottom of the steep incline. I step off the green onto the slope and its really wet. I don't know how many of you have experience with North Carolina red clay, but it's slick when it's wet. My feet fly out from under me and I'm on my a$$. I make it back to my feet after a short slide and start short-stepping down the incline. Doesn't last long and I'm back on my a$$ for the last 15 feet or so. My buddies are trying not to laugh but not doing very well at it. I get up, clean my hands in the grass and hit my ball to about 10 ft.

I finally make it back up the incline with lots of slipping and cursing involved to find my buddies giggling like school girls. I walk over to my ball and realize I've got quite a bit of NC red clay in my shorts. I start shaking out the mud and a huge night crawler falls out of my shorts and starts crawling across the green. Everyone lost it at that point and they still laugh about it today.

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Fresh in mind- played a round at my old club on Sunday, and on the hardest/longest par 4 I hit the best drive I had EVER hit on that hole. I was looking at a flip wedge in from the perfect angle, which of course I shanked to pin high. The weather horn blew immediately after the ball came to rest and we never finished the round :(

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Not mine but a kid in my group in a tournament in college cold topped and pulled his drive, it got no more than shoelace height before it hit the tee marker in front of us and ricocheted 60 yards behind us. His next shot proceeded to hit the tree next to the tee box and bounce back 20 yards, so his first 3 shots on the hole come from behind the tee markers. It didnt get much better from here, his 4th shot landed in a bush and had to take 2 unplayables.

My most embarrassing moment has to be in my last college tournament on the last hole of my college career, it was a "reachable" par 5 so i decided to try and go for it. I was the last group to finish so everyone is watching and i proceed to pull my 3 wood 60 yards left of the green onto the 1st first tee box.

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member guest i am the guest - we win our flight and get into the shootout. alternate shot 3 holes. we birdie the first hole, feeling amazing. next hole i am on the tee and starting to feel the nerves that we could win. (big dollars too in the bombay). i slice my drive into the trees, not off the planet but a crappy shot. my partner punches out, stays in the right rough barely but it is sitting up, maybe 70 yds left. par 4. i get to the ball and it is sitting up a lot. my head is spinning so i tell myself dont go under this ball, hover the club a little. (i never do that). proceed to blade the shot 150 yards out of bounds onto the highway over the green. we took a 7. lost the shootout by 2. a bogey and a par would have won it. i drank a lot that night.

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Freshman year spring golf tryouts, first tee shot went into the parking lot and bounced off of our assistant coaches fathers car. Head coach started chewing me out and I said that at least I was laying 1 instead of 3 after the bounce. I'm nearly 100% sure that is the only reason I made the team.

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Every 5-10 rounds I cold top a tee shot on par 3 out of the blue... I've had 100-120 yards for my second on a par 3 more times than I'd like to admit... including last night in the rain

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Around 7 years old, I was at the local driving range getting my first lessons on how to swing. It was just my dad, brother, myself, and one other man 3 or 4 bays away. On one swing, I lost my grip on my finish and launched the club into the air and just to happened to come right down on the guys head. Thankfully he was wearing a hat and it came down on him with the shaft from my junior sized iron. My dad thought he was for sure getting sued, but the man shook it off like a champ and didn't cause any scene about it.

More recent funny things include my brother-in-law who's learning how to golf killing a sea gull with a line drive to the head, and then a few weeks later killing a duck at a different course with a line drive to the head. I don't know if he's played since then.

Just this past Sunday my dad was up to the 1st tee and somehow hit only the tee about 20 feet with the ball popping up about a foot and then right back to the ground almost exactly where it was teed up. Thing was it wasn't teed up that high, so it had to have been the perfect height between ground and ball for his driver to slide right through.

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Easy one....35 years ago while playing in college, I helicoptered my 6-iron 3x down the fairway. I realized after the round about how foolish and stupid I looked that day. I haven't thrown a club since then, but I still get angry with myself although I try to channel it into being more positive on the next shot.

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Dumbest thing I did was hitting a 5i on a 130 yard par 3. The 5 and 9 are next to each other in different rows. Hit a perfect high straight shot that sailed over the green and into the houses behind the green. Who can’t tell the difference between a 5 and a 9? Me apparently. It gets worse. Same hole a month or so later- did the same thing. That one resulted in some well-earned razzing from my buddies.

One embarrassing event involved me walking down the steps from the pro shop to my cart carrying a large bucket. One misstep resulted in an avalanche of balls at the feet of the foursome walking up the steps. Like a Plinko machine. They were cool and helped me gather the balls but I wish they would have just walked on as it prolonged my agony.

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I was playing with some guys that I didn’t know and one of them was having a bad day and had a nasty temper.

We get to the 17th and I was daydreaming and as I walk onto the green I pick something up As I’m walking I say “oh someone must have dropped some money”... then I realise that I have just picked up the coin that captain grumpy was using to mark his ball. I’ll never forget the look he gave me.

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The one and only time I played the Links at Bodega Harbour in Sonoma County (awful course btw). I was paired up with a twosome. On the first tee one of them hit his drive way right, but found his ball. He tried hacking it out of the tall grass back into play and could barely move the ball. He decides to just pick up his ball and drop it back into play. I could tell right away this guy is a terrible golfer as opposed to just having a bad hole.

He drops his ball in the right hand rough on a downhill lie and there is an angled rock wall along the cart path 20 yards in front of him. He is still a mile from the hole and going uphill and has no way of hitting his next shot within 100 yards of the hole. And by the way there are houses down the left side of the hole and the rock wall is angled perfectly in that direction. In his infinite wisdom he decides to pull out his 3 wood and this is when I got that oh shit look on my face. Simple math: 3 wood + thick rough + downhill lie + perfectly angle rock wall = damaged house

Well his ball does not get even two feet off the ground hits the angled wall and goes screaming across the fairway and slams right into a house just missing the big living room window, but left a divot in the side of the house. The whole neighborhood had to be able to hear the impact as it sounded like someone fired off a shotgun into the side of a house. I immediately drove all the way uphill to my ball to play my next shot as quick as possible so I could go up to the green and have enough time to laugh my ass off before they finally caught up to me. Fortunately for him nobody was home I guess.

Both of them really sucked and the course was terrible so that was a long long day. The only reason I even went there was to get away from the week and a half long heat wave that was going on in Sacramento at the time.

 

 

 

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This just happened a couple months ago.

Playing former PGA Matchplay course Ritz/Dove Mountain with their fancy all electric/gps golf carts. Got to a long par 5 and the "course limit" was apparently set to about 150 yards out but I wasnt paying attention to the screen part. I drive up about 20 yards past this and still well outside of the "no carts behind here" sign. Well anybody thats driven these knows that once you let off the gas/hit your shot, they only go in reverse until youre clear of the gps. So here I am first wondering why my cart wont go forward until I see the screen. So reverse it is... at an absolute snails pace. Took me what felt like 10 minutes to back up that 20 yards while a 4 is waiting behind me for their approach shots and my playing partners laughing their asses off.

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