The Thrill Seems to be Gone (A thread on apathy...)

[The Pearl]

Hey Mello,

I will maybe take a different approach to advice for you. Just let it go. If you want to play, go play. If you don't want to play, don't play. Do something else. Not everything has to have deep meaning. Part of being human is evolving and changing over time.

One thing I see with lots of folks is that they tend to over analyze many issues. This can be a good trait to have in many instances but can be a real achilles heel in everyday life. It is golf, no different from playing checkers or watching a movie. A simple recreational activity. One of a zillion options. At 57, there are activities that I used to never miss in my 30s, now I could care less. There is stuff I do now that I would have laughed at when I was in my 30s. Just part of the deal.

Put the clubs in the closet and see what happens. In a week or two you might get them out and go play. You might never play again. Or you might play again when you are 50.

Did you say you are a member of a club? That might be part of the problem...a sunk cost...a feeling of obligation...I am paying for it so I have to play.

Anyway, you will figure it out. Just not a big deal in the big picture.

[LeftDaddy]

I know what you are describing, and I battle the question of why I play golf somewhat regularly, but I’d say for almost opposite reasons to yours.

You describe some success with the game, but simultaneously some apathy toward the whole endeavor. I am obsessed with golf and getting better, but an honest assessment would say I’m pleased with how I played in about 1 in 10 rounds or so (lack of success but the opposite of apathy for the game).

So I ask myself, why put so much effort into something that you basically stink at? Is it worth all that time and money? Go do something you are good at for Pete’s sake. And I’ve had many moments in the last say two years or so where I’ve just wanted to quit. But I can’t. I’m obsessed with “mastering” this God-forsaken game probably because it has been one thing in my life that I’ve struggled to get good at in a reasonable time frame. It challenges me in ways so many other things don’t.

Ive also wrestled with the “rich, non-inclusive” aspect of golf. I felt almost embarrassed to be a golfer in some of the circles I find myself in. And golf has certainly had its issues with this stuff in the past, and there are still jerks out there today. But to heck with all that...I’ve generally come to this conclusion about it. What’s so wrong about pursuing an activity that I enjoy with a group of similarly successful, mostly like-minded people, that happens to cost a fair amount of money? Does my golf hurt anyone in any way? Am I denying someone else an opportunity of some sort by partaking in an activity that tends to be pursued primarily by the “privileged”? No politics here, but at least on this aspect I’m done apologizing for enjoying something that I’m “privileged” to be able to enjoy when I suspect that most anyone in my situation would make the same choice (pursue an activity that you enjoy, even if you know others might not be able to participate in due to the cost). I’m very welcoming of anyone who’d like to play with me and will even pay for their round if they can’t afford it (and have done so). I don’t let golf get in the way of being a great Dad, Husband, employee etc so the handful of hours I devote to it each week are mine, and I’m sorry to anyone that offends in any way but am not planning to change it. I’ve earned most of it. Maybe I was blessed with a mind that allowed me to be successful in school and work. But I had to put in the effort to capitalize on it

Anyway, I have the bug. Sounds like you may not. If not, go find your new “bug”. And golf will be here if/when you come back. I hope by then I’ve finally figured this darn game out!!!

[Dpavs]

OP- It sounds to me like you are going out to play out of habit and do have an objective when you are playing now. I know that anything I engage in I need to understand the reason I am doing it or it becomes just as boring as twiddling my thumbs. So it might be as simple as asking yourself what is my goal in going out to play golf? This can be making less putts, hitting more fairways, to exercise, just to relax, to socialize, get some fresh air and enjoy the scenery, waste a good walk... almost anything you can think of that is part of playing golf... but you need to understand what is motivating you to go. If you cannot find any motivation or have any reason to play.. it maybe that then it just becomes a dull exercise of repetitive (good or bad) moves and that is hardly any fun for anyone.

[Roy_Donk]

I'd suggest doing something "bucket list" to break the monotony. I was in a similar state two years ago. My hdcp hadn't improved in any significant way in about 3 or 4 years and I found myself playing less and caring less.

Then my buddy invited me on a trip that had two U.S. Open venues, a Raynor and a Tillinghast on our rota. I played like s*%# mostly, but got better as the trip went. Walking with caddies and taking in the classic architecture (simplicity, little quirky nuances) reinvigorated me and I've been re-hooked on golf ever since. Looking forward to the next adventure does a lot for me.

I know we can't all hop a plane to Bandon and force seduction on ourselves, but reminding ourselves of the things that make the game truly special by indulging in something awesome can do wonders.

Also, every once in a blue moon, I'll drive three hours and play the course where I learned the game and won my first (and only) high school tournament. The magic's still there if you know where to look.

[jrice19]

Hi MelloYello,

In my opinion, it is not the game but who you play with day in and day out. It is a bummer you are at the age where your friends are in different place while your playing partners have a different perspective on life. The cool thing is you can learn a lot from them. Such as, ask them...based on what you know now, what are three things you change or do at my age if you could go back in time? By doing this you create some really interesting conversations and maybe learn something very valuable. Experience is something you cannot just create, it takes time.

Golf is a funny game. There are more days than not I play pretty well but know to get better it takes more time. It is really about priorities in your life and where you want to go. It seems you know what it would take to get better but know it is now worth the effort because other things in your life would have to be sacrificed. Also, you are at a level where golf is somewhat boring because you spraying it all over the place and hitting more good shots than bad. Yes, that can get boring. It is not the same when you started and when you did hit a good/great shot that feeling keeps bringing you back. That feeling is gone right now...and that is normal when you are good consistent player (based on my experience).

What is your are feeling is normal but to get you out of this funk is WHO you play with but also have more of interaction with your playing partners.

Thanks, Jeff

[Pepperturbo]

@cardoustie - brings up excellent points.
Forget scoring, and mix up where you play, even try more challenging courses, that gets anyone's attention. There's a nearby hilly course that I hadn't played in years, not sure why. Must have had an adventuresome moment, so I set up a tee time to ride by myself. The other two players were friends, playing senior tees and kept to themselves. Perfect weather for golf and cigars. And for the fun of it, I changed the sleeve setting on my TS2 driver, increasing loft. Hadn't done that before and walked to the big kid tees with hopes and a calmness about me.
Long good story short. The round was filled with fun and demanding shots and surprised myself with longer than my normal drives. Not really big but 5-10yds extra carry is nice. I am keeping the new sleeve setting, as it matches up with Ventus shaft really nice, course the cigars were mighty good too. Best part, though my score was the same 76 as a few days before, however, it was a bit more satisfying on a new course. I left excited to play later this week and weekend. Can't wait to repeat some of those long iron shots and maybe the ole man will out drive my 50 something buddy's. That'll be cool.

[bonvivantva]

If your apathy is limited to golf, then no big deal and I think there are plenty of people that have already provided some pretty good advice. If your feelings of apathy are more generalized, you may want to consider the broader issue of depression. I will say that we're in some pretty difficult and unusual times right now, and that can manifest in strange ways. My dad is doing well now, but for a while during lockdown he was really down on his golf game. I could tell that the issue was more than golf, but I don't think he could or maybe it was just easier for him to talk about it in the context of golf. He's a single digit handicap, but for a while there he was struggling with shanks, poor contact, etc. It just seemed purely mental and I really do think it had to do with the pandemic and stress/depression/etc.

As a high handicap, I can only imagine what feeling bored with the game would be like. Honestly I don't think I'm the type that would have that issue though. Even when I'm playing poorly (which is most of the time, and recall that as a 18ish handicap my idea and your idea of poorly are probably two very different things) I really do just enjoy being outside, drinking a beer, driving the cart, hanging out with friends. I probably would say that golf is the hobby I devote the most time to right now, but that has more to do with current circumstances and golf being a great excuse for me and my buddies to spend a Saturday together or go on a trip. If golf just becomes more of a social pastime rather than your main hobby, I don't think that's the end of the world. Just pursue whatever makes you happy, and if you don't know what that is right now, try some new things.

[tkwilliamson22]

I hope this never happens to me, but I would suggest talking to a sports psychologist about gold and the feeling it used to give you vs what it does now. You might uncover something interesting about yourself that you didn't know. But I agree on taking a break for a couple weeks or a month or two. I know for me when winter rolls around I miss the game much more because I can't play or watch it.

I hope you can find peace with whatever decision you make.

[wobgon]

Sent Mellow Yellow a pm.

[Pearson10M]

I played a few days ago and walked off at the end of 14 holes. Just wasn't into it then. Don't know if it is the start of the end my relationship with golf or not, I hope not. It was hot, I was playing lousy, not seeing a lot of improvement in my scores even though my knowledge of the game and my swing has improved over the last 3 years with considerable playing, and completed only 14 holes in just under 4 h because of waiting a few minutes or more on each hole.

Same thing happened when I was sailing, competttive cycling, fishing, skiing. All of a sudden there was a moment where it stopped being enjoyable and then something else came along. For cycling, it was an injury that didn't allow me to further compete at the level before the injury, sailing we were spending about $4K a year on costs and only getting to use the boat 20 or days a year and mostly by ourselves. Skiing just became a hassle of getting up early in the AM driving 2+ h, skiing on a crowded mt on expensive lift tix, then driving back exhausted and maybe getting 10 or runs in for $80+.

Take a break or go out with some friends and see if that feeling comes back the next time that you play.

[Kentendo]

I think anyone who has played golf for a length of time experiences this. I regularly played 200 rounds a year as a junior golfer in the early 90's. When I went off to my first fall semester of college, I packed the clubs away and played 3 times over the next 5 years. I never thought about playing regularly again.

I relocated to a different state and started working at a place with guys who played regularly on the weekends. Being a stranger in a new town, I picked up the clubs and started going out to make new friends. It was the best thing I could have done. My rounds went back up to over 100 per year, and I was a regular at the driving range.

I understand your apathy because I have felt it many times over the past 30 years. This game has constantly worn on my emotions and mind because there is no chance of perfection. Golf is one of the few games where the player is always losing, if that makes sense. There is no perfect game available to us like the 300 game is available to a bowler. It is maddening to think that a golfer can birdie every hole and actually leave shots on the course. My personal apathy towards golf has come from that reality.

I seriously considered giving up golf last year. The enjoyment was basically gone and taking the time to practice and play was more hassle than excitement. My thought was "What's the point of doing this when I am not getting any better and not enjoying it? Why don't I pick up another hobby/interest?". The $250+/month that I spend on playing could easily fund another activity. Then I met some guys who take the first tee time every Sunday, so my wife encouraged me to tag along. I have really enjoyed it and have grown to appreciate those handful of perfect shots every round knowing that perfect is only relevant to my current skill level.

 

[DallasDan]

For me and my circle of friends it is about competing amongst friends. We always play for a few bucks but in the end it's about pride and coming out on top. When I was living in Chicagoa few years ago (now in Dallas) I had a group of friends that would go on a trip 3-4x per year. We spent the months in between doing our best to get better and be ready for the trip which was usually 3-4 days and 4-6 rounds of golf. It was all about the golf. When i moved to Dallas all of the trips went away but I still found a group of golf buddies that enjoy getting out and playing once per week. I look forward to every single round.

If I ever got to a point of apathy then I would just stop playing. It happened to me once in Vegas. It was the last round of one of our Chicago guys trips and after a series of events I just didn't want to be out there. I slapped shots around for 18 holes and the only thing that made me happy was that it was over. I decided not to continue my trips with the Chicago guys because it had morphed into something toxic rather than competitive. Soon after that round i moved to Dallas where i resumed playing and now the only thing holding me back is a bad back from 25 years of basketball and a bad car accident 3 years ago.

Play the game that you love. You obviously still have something inside that wants to play or else you would not have spent so much time thinking about it. Honestly sounds like a form of depression to me. Get help. You never know if you don't get yourself checked out.

[jbrunk]

I’m no expert, but apathy isn’t a problem you can fix. Emotions are a reaction to physiological changes, mental and life circumstances. This has been a difficult year to be a human, making all “non-essential” activities much less purposeful than they used to be. And golf is perhaps the most pointless activity to engage in, even when the world is not facing so many huge problems.

I don’t think taking a break from golf to take up a different pointless hobby will address the root cause of your apathy. Find something truly meaningful to do outside of work, family, friends (i.e., donate services to a social justice group or environmental non-profit, volunteer for an arts organization, organize a charity fundraiser, grow an organic vegetable garden), something that will bring greater fulfillment into your life, and you may start to enjoy golf again.

[Pepperturbo]

@jbrunk - hit on something that feeds apathy, life circumstances. But I disagree with golf being "the most pointless" activity; not if your seeing what it gives you and playing with the right attitude. Golf constantly challenges us to measure up. Plus, each of us needs healthy, diverse and fun activities to distract us from the mundane challenges we face everyday, especially now. The problem I see most often, people can't see the good in their lives while wallowing in the bad. Like a fine single-malt dram enjoyed later this evening, golf is never the same and worth looking forward to. Our lives are filled with our good choices and or ladened with bad choices, it's your pick.
Sure, there are times when I feel like walking off the course but I don't. I have walked off mid-round 3 or 4 times; by the time I arrived home each time I regretted leaving because it felt like I quit on myself. Quitting on anything or anyone because of a brief case of apathy can have unexpected consequences, particularly if done repeatedly. Ask yourself if you love "X".

[FakeClubPro]

On 7/11/2020 at 10:58 AM, caniac6 said:

Sounds like you need a break. I play almost every weekday, play the same course, play with the same guy, who can be a pain at times. I pulled a muscle in my lower back about two weeks ago, and haven't been able to play, and I've missed, but not as much as I thought. It was getting a bit stale, but I know I'll enjoy it when I get back.

 

Try a new course.  GolfNow has dozens probably in your area.  I prefer playing by myself instead of playing with some pain in the neck.

 

As far as the Op.  If you play at a nice club then take up a martini lunch after the first 9.  You might develop a drinking issue which will make golf apathy look like a minor concern.

[elpollosuperloco]

Hey man, you posted some really good advice in my topic about wanting to straight up quit (and I'm about to do a follow-up to that post) so I have to tell you the short version of how that helped: I took a break, stopped clenching so hard, and relaxed. It worked from a scoring standpoint, but it also made me feel similar to how you are feeling now. Not that I don't care about golf anymore, it's just that I'm able to take it or leave it. And although I'm double-digits away from your handicap, anyone that's as good as you has to have cared a lot about it to get better. You fret, and you think, and you spin out. 

 

I did take a couple weeks off, and no lessons, and then when I came back I didn't always keep score. Now I'm back playing better than ever, and I'm happy about it! But I'm also not as ecstatic as I would have been with my recent scores had I experienced them two months ago when I was absolutely hellbent on scoring well. Now it's just like "Oh hey! Pretty cool!" and I've sort of liked the fact that it means I can explore what else there is about who I am outside of golf.

 

Take a 10 day break. Then go back, and just dick around out there. Play games with yourself. Play two balls, see who is better: MelloYello or MellOyello.

 

Thanks for the help, and I hope you get some of your passion back, too. I think the reality is loving something so much also might not be sustainable for 50+ years. Maybe you mellow out on it and you simply have it as one of the things about you instead of like me where it was the thing about me.

Edited August 25, 2020 by elpollosuperloco

[goaliedad30]

I started playing when I was seven ... so fifty years ago! People are shocked when they ask me "how long have you played?" and they get the answer "Fifty years". Up through high school and college, I played a ton of competitive golf at a reasonable level, but was never really regionally or nationally competitive. Didn't play much in graduate school, and when I moved to the West Coast to start my career, private clubs were way too expensive, and public golf in this area was crowded, slow, and just not that much fun. So I really didn't play much for a number of years.

 

In 1996, we moved into a country club community and for a few years I played quite a bit, got back into some tournaments, and won a couple of local events. Then the kids started being busy with activities on weekends, and my golf dwindled. My career also took off, which increased travel tons. My wife was playing three days a week, and I was lucky to play once a month! It got to the point that one year, I played 6 rounds, and 3 of those were in India!

 

18 months ago, I was able to retire at an early age. Since then, I've played a ton of golf ... at our club, at other courses nearby, and at some great mountain tracks near our vacation home. My handicap is back down from 9 to 4, and working on getting back to scratch.

 

Now, though, the joy in golf for me comes differently. I really don't have the urge to play tournament golf ... been there, done that, got the trophies. Now I find true joy in other things in and around the golf course:

• Watching my wife get better, to where she's close to consistently breaking 100
• Playing daily singles matches against her, just for bragging rights. Best day was me shooting 73, and losing 4&3 to her 95! She was giddy .... ?
• Playing weekday mornings with the other dewsweepers ... playing with many of the same couples / players, and finishing in a shade over three hours
• Hosting a couple of my buddies who are 9-to-fiving a blue-collar gig here in VERY expensive Northern California, and watching them enjoying  the course
• Playing in the bi-weekly "couples scramble" just for fun
• Watching my wife score her first hole-in-one, in the first group out, on the first day courses re-opened here. We think it was the first in the county!
• Playing with my 82 year old father and watching him shoot his age (which he's now probably done 10-12 times)

I did agree to help out one of those guys by filling in for his injured partner at an upcoming two-man tournament, and prepping for that has been fun. Going back to playing practice rounds, looking at a new golf course and figuring out how to play it "cleanly" brings back great memories from the competitive days.

 

Overall, golf adds to my life by letting me be with others, outdoors, and enjoying the opportunity.

 

Not sure that solves the OP's problem, but for me, golf is like an old friend that when I come back, welcomes me (and sometimes reminds me how hard it is!)

[Roody]

I have gone through the same ups and downs that most of you describe in this thread. Honestly, I think if I lived down south and could play almost year-round, I probably would get sick of golf and want to quit. I guess that's an upside to living in a place like NY where I'm pretty much forced to take a few months off every year.

 

The downside of that though is I always have this overpowering feeling that I have to play as many rounds as possible because the season is short, and I know I'll be cranky during the winter because I miss golf. So that sometimes leads to me playing even when I can tell I really don't want to. "It's a nice day. I can't waste a nice weather day! Gotta golf!". That can sometimes lead to burnout. 

Maybe that's what you're experiencing... burnout? 

 

 

[MelloYello]

Hey all, 

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement! I didn't mean to ghost this thread but I got sort of busy. I kept meaning to come back and post something big. I started writing it out but I just never quite got around to making it into something post-able. Thankfully, things have really turned around though. 

 

Several things reduced my rounds played:

- Lots of rain

- A club member who I'd sometimes play 9 with moved away

- Work picked up slightly 

 

And several other things have me more motivated:

 

- I played in a Club event and won some money

- I got a swing assessment from our club Pro who's sort of a big deal (more on that)

- I played in a 2nd club event which was fun but I sucked (LOL)

 

What has me really excited is that for the first time I feel like I'm actually working on *real things.* The swing assessment was great. It lasted an hour and literally involved me making a total of 2 swings which were beautifully capture on video from multiple angles (and on Trackman as well). From that, the instructor and I talked about a lot of what I might do to improve where I was at position-wise. We looked at several Tour Pros and I could see what a huge advantage it would be to work in that environment on a regular basis.

 

I have to say, it's a joy to actually visit the range again now that I have something I'm actually working on. This feels a lot more like when I had just picked up the game and was making incremental progress each and every day. So I've signed up for a series of lessons which I'll use to improve the consistency of my ball-striking. Again, this will all be in a studio environment (open to a driving range) with video and Trackman and a coach who works with numerous high-level college players. I'm beyond stoked for this.  

 

Side note:

Contrary to what you hear from a lot of Ams, ball-striking is not my strength. On the contrary, I have good rhythm which covers up a very sloppy and unrefined swing. As such, my contact varies from day to day and my GIR is never where I want it to be. I get around the course making smart decisions. So for me, mechanical changes are welcome. 

 

Also, my inclusion in the two club events was fun but it really exposed my putting. I kept the ball in play off the tee all through both events but putted as poorly as I ever have. That said, I've realized that there's a lot to putting that is purely mental. I realized I didn't know anything about grain and that lack of knowledge was screwing up my reads and leading me to often misjudge speed as well. My stroke had problems but so did my approach. 

 

So with a bunch of new stuff on my plate I'm now really excited and motivated. I think playing for something helped. I think testing my game helped. I think talking to a professional swing coach whose expertise I trust really helped. In the end, I now have a clearer picture of what I need to be doing in order to improve. I've never really looked at golf as a leisure activity because that's not what makes me want to play. I'm not out there to "have fun" or to drink cheap beer. That's not me, nor is it my group. Golf's no fun when you're not playing well. Everyone at my club is social -- trust me, we're social -- but we're also a *golf club* so the majority of us are looking to improve. That's certainly true of the guys I'm with. All I can tell you is that it's no fun being the guy whose handicap is on the rise and that's been me over the last month. 

 

Anyhow, I'm quite happy to be working on something which feels like it's moving me and my game in a positive direction. 

Edited August 25, 2020 by MelloYello

[Steve P OAK]

I joined a CC to get away from Munis for 4 years, quit, take a year off, and now play 20 different munis in my area now.  Used to dislike the hit or miss of joining a group as single, but now have been focusing so much on my own game it doesn't matter.  You are dead right, lots of us need golf to feed that competitive SELF improvement.  It is nice to know lots of us go through it.  You were right in finding goals beyond scoring.  There is a purity sports swing actions, like golf, baseball, and tennis.

[caniac6]

Our fairways have not been mowed in a week. The greens are being mowed every other day. I had a confrontation with another member over something that was agreed upon between me and the pro, and then, the pro didn't back me up. Had a club employee initiate a political conversation with me, which I thought inappropriate, and really give me the stink eye when I told him his facts were wrong. I was the low man in two consecutive inter club matches, and left off the roster for last match after committing to play. Not having much fun, and probably, with everything going on in the world, a bit over sensitive. I feel like I really need a change of scenery, but dues are paid until the end of the year. I realize these are first world problems, but I'm in a funk.

[cardoustie]

You guys in a funk

 

- get a fitting for a driver or irons .. it’s the arrows and not the Indian 

- get a putter fitting and build a dream billy baroo 

- get a lesson in some area of your game ... Like sand play

 

try tweaking your equipment with a tester club ... flatter lies, heavier swingweight, diff shaft flex, graphite vs steel etc etc. You mind find a unicorn set up you’ve never tried or considered

 

play a classic course nearby

 

go on a road trip

 

play the tips

 

play 18 with 7 clubs

 

 

 

[elwhippy]

Remember all the positives...fresh air, friendship, exercise, banter, great surroundings. Golf can do your head in at times but it sure beats work.

[llewol007]

Part of the game of golf is sharing your great shots and your crappy ones with guys you know. There is a disconnect on some level with playing the game in a group of complete strangers. I think the game has gotten boring because there is no sharing of those experiences. I have gone through spell of skipping out on playing alone. Its not that uncommon. Now I see myself only playing on a Saturday with my buddies and I actually look forward to it every week. Its my signal to the start of the weekend for me. One thing I suggest is getting a foursome of guys you know and start from there. In between those times, put down the clubs and dont mind not playing. It actually does start to peak your interest after a while of not playing. Either you know you gotta get back out to the driving range or even like you putting in 9 holes. To me, I think playing 9 holes is a waste of time. Almost makes me feel unaccomplished knowing its half of a full round. Not sure if that makes sense. I usually will skip out on playing 9 holes and instead work on my short game. Not sure why. Now playing an 18 hole practice round is more inviting. Just walking the course at your leisure and dropping a couple of extra shots on the fairway from my go to yardages and iron out my distances. That to me is interesting and beats on a range session in my opinion as well. So take a break from the game and get your golf buddies to start playing on a consistent basis and who knows, the light will start once again for you.

[MelloYello]

On 9/5/2020 at 8:03 AM, llewol007 said:

Part of the game of golf is sharing your great shots and your crappy ones with guys you know. There is a disconnect on some level with playing the game in a group of complete strangers. I think the game has gotten boring because there is no sharing of those experiences. I have gone through spell of skipping out on playing alone. Its not that uncommon. Now I see myself only playing on a Saturday with my buddies and I actually look forward to it every week. Its my signal to the start of the weekend for me. One thing I suggest is getting a foursome of guys you know and start from there. In between those times, put down the clubs and dont mind not playing. It actually does start to peak your interest after a while of not playing. Either you know you gotta get back out to the driving range or even like you putting in 9 holes. To me, I think playing 9 holes is a waste of time. Almost makes me feel unaccomplished knowing its half of a full round. Not sure if that makes sense. I usually will skip out on playing 9 holes and instead work on my short game. Not sure why. Now playing an 18 hole practice round is more inviting. Just walking the course at your leisure and dropping a couple of extra shots on the fairway from my go to yardages and iron out my distances. That to me is interesting and beats on a range session in my opinion as well. So take a break from the game and get your golf buddies to start playing on a consistent basis and who knows, the light will start once again for you.

 

I have to agree. 

 

I've been lucky enough to find 4-5 guys with whom I've been playing regularly at my new club and we've become a sort of regular pairing now on weekends. Having people at the club who you like and appreciate definitely feels way better than being paired with a random person (or group) that you don't. I like playing with *someone* most of the time, but there's only so much you can share with people you don't really know unless that person just happens to really click with you. 

 

 

[MelloYello]

On 9/5/2020 at 6:35 AM, elwhippy said:

Remember all the positives...fresh air, friendship, exercise, banter, great surroundings. Golf can do your head in at times but it sure beats work.

 

This is good and it's also important to remember not to be a jerk. Golf can sometimes bring out the worst in people. 

 

You have to make sure that above all else you're remaining supportive and respectful of those around you. The best way to do that is usually by just being good company. The funnier and more entertaining someone is, the better.

 

 

[MelloYello]

On 9/4/2020 at 5:55 PM, cardoustie said:

You guys in a funk

 

- get a fitting for a driver or irons .. it’s the arrows and not the Indian 

- get a putter fitting and build a dream billy baroo 

- get a lesson in some area of your game ... Like sand play

 

try tweaking your equipment with a tester club ... flatter lies, heavier swingweight, diff shaft flex, graphite vs steel etc etc. You mind find a unicorn set up you’ve never tried or considered

 

play a classic course nearby

 

go on a road trip

 

play the tips

 

play 18 with 7 clubs

 

 

 

 

I'm not much for the spending big money on bucket-list courses or leaving half my clubs at home, but I totally agree with the lesson bit. 

 

If you can improve one little part of your game, it can really help shift the perspective. 

 

I did just that last week with a random driver lesson. My instructor and I were planning to work on some putting drills, but instead we ended up on Trackman hitting driver and we noticed a couple things that didn't take much to fix. I widened my stance to add trajectory and I adjusted the tee-height and setup position a bit to hit more in the center (as opposed to the toe). 

 

Consequently, I drove the ball amazingly well yesterday with just a couple simple tweaks and literally shot 1-under on my last 9, which is only the second time I've ever done that. 

[mukster]

On 7/11/2020 at 7:09 AM, MelloYello said:

I played a round yesterday and couldn't help but notice how little I was interested. This was a casual, after-work 9-hole affair w/o any playing partners. I usually play with club members/friends these days so it's rare to go out alone but it seemed harmless. It was spur of the moment really. I didn't play particularly poorly. There were some great shots and a few mediocre shots...I just felt numb to the whole concept of playing though. This feeling seems to have been creeping up for awhile but this was the first time I honestly felt like I would've preferred to have been at work. It struck me as early as the 2nd hole. I wasn't depressed. I wasn't frustrated. It was more a feeling of being 100% uninterested. So having slept on it, I figured I'd post this with a clear head.

It's funny, I get a lot of complements on my game and on my swing in particular. I've worked hard to play within myself and smooth out my tempo. I hit it plenty far. My ball-striking is as consistent as ever and my ability to manufacturer hooks and slices is pretty impressive if I do say so myself. My handicap has come down from 7 to 4 in the last few weeks and I've been playing a great new track. I've had a lot of chances to play, too. And I've met a lot of great folks who seem really nice. One would figure I'd be having a great time.

But inside I feel the opposite of what you'd think. I just don't see the point in golfing, LOL. It's hard to express how little I really care about the outcome of any single shot. In a sense, that's good. I don't get frustrated. I sort of have the opposite problem. I struggle to come up with a reason why I'm out there at all. If hitting shots doesn't give me the thrill it once did, what about it actually makes it enjoyable? I've hit some dead perfect shots and I'm telling you, I quietly pick up the tee or step on the divot without feeling a single thing inside. It's like I'm a zombie or something. There is no joy in Mudville, LOL. None.

So I'm wondering if maybe this is how my love affair with golf ends, LOL, in a slow whimper? Normally I would just relax on doing it and make being social the central point, but it seems pointless to do it at all if one doesn't actually want to be there for the golf. Does that make sense? I mean, even the social stuff still involves a lot of bonding around an enjoyment of the game after all.

Has anyone found a solution for this weird loss of interest? I'm very curious what others think because I would bet this is just what happens when you sort of grow out of a particular hobby. Are there any ways to help ensure golf stays exciting I wonder? I don't really have alternative hobbies that get me outside so I don't really want to lose golf. I haven't gotten to the point that I dislike the game. I guess I just wish I had more desire for it. Maybe it's actually sort of good to apply some pressure/stress? I think maybe I've pulled my emotion so far back in an attempt to remain cool and calm during play that I've lost all connection entirely. But is that even possible?

I have gone through this a few times. Once I did not play for a large part of the summer. Lost all interest. Then I bought new gear. This is my answer whenever anything goes wrong with the game for me.

Buy.New. Gear.

Smart? Definitely not. Fun? Heck yeah!

[Lincoln_Arcadia]

To make things really interesting again, I’ve learnt to play left handed.

 

Golf has been everything in between obsession to humdrum.

It should be mainly about enjoying yourself.

[Titleist99]

What a waste, Use your knowledge and ability to bring someone else into the game. Teaching someone else will bring excitement and joy in ways you can't imagine. your selfishness is pathetic.....but I digress.