Most Embarrassing Golf Confession

[soregongolfer]

I didn't know that was a thing.

[Mikey5e]

I had sort of a similar situation last week when driving off the cart path on a par-3 is prohibited. The cart would not go forward anymore and I was ready to call into the Clubhouse and tell them my cart's batteries had died and I need a new cart. I then put it into reverse and was able to go real slow until I got back to the cart path and realized why it was doing that. It recognizes that you are in a forbidden area and kills the cart from going forward. It wasn't ebarrassing because nobody noticed but of course me.

[jmc1313]

At my old club, the 9th hole was a dogleg right. The first 240 yards are straight and level, then a steep drop and the dogleg right. The cart path is on the left, then a narrow section of rough then the road to the lower part of the clubhouse.

A good drive catches the downslope and leaves a short iron in. I left it on the edge of the drop, about 150 to the pin. I struck the ball well but sent it hard left. It hits the cart path and bounces really high, then the street, the street again, the concrete circle around the flagpole, the turnaround, hits a barrel of range balls (really loud) and ricochets onto the grass surrounding the putting green.

I have a 200 yard walk of shame and it’s a busy Sunday morning. Takes forever and everyone is watching, including the restaurant on the second floor. I finally reach my ball and look for a place to drop it. There are no stakes anywhere. I figured I was still inbounds, took out my rangefinder and shot the pin, hit a wedge on and 2 putted for a bogey.

Really never lived that down.

 

[driveandputtmachine]

Gross Match play event, through 13 I am 2 under and I am 3 holes up. Tee shot on par 3 with a 9 iron hits the flag near the green and goes into the water. My only drop is way off to the side. Proceed to blade that one over the green OB. Playing my next hit it fat, then hit it thin, then thin again down into the water. I ended up with a given 6 footer for a 11 on the hole after some back and forth's chipping. The guy I was playing hit his first two after me into the water, he made a 25 footer for a 8. Unfortunately for me I was so wrapped up in how off the rails I had gone I probably should have given him the hole earlier.

This was the semi finals. I proceeded to lose 15, 16, and 17. I won 18 and then holed out for eagle from the fairway on the first playoff hole to win.

[fillwelix]

That's why I love match play lol I can use all my bad shots on one hole

[bonvivantva]

We had a fraternity golf tournament a few years back. My buddies and I were about 8 years out of college I'd guess. We had a ton of mexican food and margaritas the night before. On the way to the course, one of us demands starbucks, so we put it in the navigation, and we end up at a food lion (with a starbucks inside). We wait on him about 30 minutes, and eventually find out that while he did get a coffee, he was mostly in the bathroom. The course is only about 30 minutes away, but that same friend starts having an emergency about 10 minutes out. I turn onto the property, which has 15 mph limit signs everywhere, and now two guys are screaming at me to hurry up and get to the bathroom. We are getting closer and now three of us are in trouble. I finally see the clubhouse and drive straight up to it. The car doors start opening before I even stop, and all three of my friends pile out to make a run for it. I casually park the car, but then my stomach starts rumbling as well. When I get to the fancy clubhouse, I go in the mens locker room, and the I'm greeted with terrible noises and smells. Unfortunately, I end up adding my own.

So we're at the shotgun start listening to the marshall talk about rules, and one of my friends literally runs to a portapotty. The portapotty is only maybe 20 yards from the marshall that is talking about this hole is cartpath only, etc. The noises start and everyone starts laughing. Finally the marshall gives up on his intro and just starts shaking his head. A few minutes later my buddy emerges from the portapotty to thunderous applause.

[me05501]

I was playing with a close friend and a not-as-close friend at a super hard course that plays very slow on the weekends. We had waited on every shot. We were standing on the ninth tee on a pace for a 6-hour round when we decided that would be our last hole for the day. It was just excruciating.

Somehow I hit a really good drive and would up in the "go zone" on this par five. My partners both hit their shots while I waited for the green to clear. They were in no hurry up there and I was feeling the heat from the group standing on the tee.

When it was finally safe to hit, I rushed my shot and cold-topped it. It went about 30 yards. And that's when the entire situation caught up with me and I boiled over. I carelessly helicoptered my four wood as hard as I could down the fairway. It whizzed over the roof of the not-as-close friend's cart just as he was stopping and stepping out of it. The club didn't hit him, thank God, but it didn't miss by more than a foot.

I was absolutely mortified and apologized profusely and repeatedly to no avail. We had a 90-minute drive home that seemed like a lot longer.

That guy never spoke to me again and I don't blame him.

[HyzerFlipDG]

Why was he standing in a spot where a mishit ball could hit him anyway?

[golftejas]

Back in college, a fun round on Sun morning after a late Sat night of drinking. 1st shot of the morning, my playing partner pulls his drive hard left, hits a tree, and the ball comes back towards the tee like a lazy fly ball to a center fielder. He catches the ball, turns and looks at us with a stunned "f--- it" smile and throws the ball as hard as he can down the fairway. When we stop laughing another buddy says "Good throw - play it!"

[D-TRAIN]

Some good laughs in this thread!

[GA_Golfer]

I played college golf at a small school (was about a 2 handicap at the time).

On the way to my first ever golf tournament as a freshman, my teammate and I had a wreck. Not seriously injured (we still played) but jarred us a bit mentally for sure.

Got to the course 15 minutes before my tee time. Literally topped my drive 50 yards off the first tee.

Shot a 93 that day in a freaking college golf tournament. I was the highest score by 8 strokes.

My teammate that was in the car with me managed an 83 I believe. This was 15 years ago.

[taporsnap17]

Booked a Saturday morning slot at a course that's not my home course. Members hadn't booked as the forecast was supposed to be quite poor but it turned out to be a great day. Members tried to get in ahead of my and my group as it was a prime morning time. Pros said no go, get in behind them..... so group of about 20 all lined up behind me on the first tee.

 

I pulled out my off the rack driver (these days I've realised that driver is overkill for that hole) that I couldn't NOT slice to save my life.. The tee is a raised tee and it so happened to be into a huge wind that day. I stepped up and crowned the ball straight up into the air.... It got to the point where I swear the ball stopped going up and actually started coming back into me before plopping into a bush around 30yards in front of us. I turned around and the look of digust the kid that couldn't have been older than 14 gave me I'll never forget lol. I bet he was thinking "What do you mean I've got to follow this joker around for the next 4 hrs?!?!?!??!!"

[salmon1a]

Last week it was shanking a pitch and almost hitting the mower guy - I'll let you know what this week brings...

[Guest]

I bought a practice net and hitting mat for the first time a few weeks ago. Not being familiar enough with nets, I’d set it up in the back yard a bit too far from the mat. The first full shot I took with a 50* wedge cleared the net, landed in the street 2 houses away, came down on the roof of a pickup truck and disappeared into a garage with the door open. I sheepishly went over to meet the guy who lived in the house. No real damage done, fortunately, he laughed it off.

[caeye0710]

On 6/26/2020 at 11:50 AM, GSDriver said:

Playing in a 2 person scramble, missed a 1 foot downhill side hill tap in that lipped out and rolled about 10 feet down the slope....fortunately my partner made the come back putt.

Hard to be embarrassed - sounds like your partner missed the tap in, too!

[wkndhckr]

Before last year I played once a year for an annual best ball tournament at work. I drove the golf cart everywhere I needed to go with no regard for the cart path. Though I didnt drive "on" the green, I parked right on the fringe as a courtesy to others. My buddy told me on the next hole that wasn't allowed. I commented that he missed everywhere else I had taken the cart.

Edited October 1, 2020 by wkndhckr
Clarity spelling

[Roody]

Not a story for something I did, but something I saw last season.

 

At my home club the 9th hole is an uphill par 3, about 125-150 yards depending on tee. Our clubhouse is behind the hole, at least 60-70 yards back. 
 

My wife and I are sitting at the bar inside with some friends. The bar is on the adjacent side of the side that backs to the 9th hole. I just happened to be turned around in my chair, and see an orange golf ball just glance the side of the clubhouse window. We all rush over to the window, and look down into the pool area. I see a girl in a bathing suit lounging and laughing, as she looks down at the orange golf ball that's in her lap. The pool is pretty busy that day, and within seconds many people have taken notice of what just happened. Either this guy hit way too much club off the tee, or more likely he hit a little too much and caught the cart path and bounced all the way to the pool.

A couple minutes later we see the guy walk up, the girl gets up and hands him his ball. Everyone is getting a good laugh, so he stands still, takes off his cap, and waves. 

[sheppy335]

I have 2, one I was playing a long par 5 trying to get home in 2, swung so hard i had to play commando the rest of the round and this was only hole 5. 

 

One early morning round get to 5th hole and nature called and Porto was to far of a walk. So i was hitting the trees but didnt want to use a towel from my bag, looked at ball washer and took the green towel. used that to cover the mess LOL. Took them 3 to 4 weeks to replace it. 3 years later i finally admitted i did that to my group of friends. 

[MikeW2]

On 6/26/2020 at 11:47 AM, Roy_Donk said:

18th tee, slap-hooked a drive. Second bounce killed a duck instantly. Head shot.

I was playing with two women.

The other ducks in the group gathered around their fallen friend, letting out these persistent mournful, broken, desperate bellows.

Complete, crushing, inescapable disaster. Mortifying...

... if you take the par save out of the equation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

😞

This made me laugh way harder than it should have😂

[Jtgavigan]

Here are a few:

 

#1 I was playing a local course back in Memphis with some work friends. One of them, a rather heavyset fellow named Mike, decides to walk out into the drained pond mud to collect golf balls. He is ecstatic and telling us to come get some. We just chuckle and keep playing. I get to the green and hear him yelling as he is knee deep in mud. Looked like Dorf on golf. He finally gets it in 4 wheel drive and gets out of there. He gets up to the green and you just hear him coming "clomp, clomp, clomp" as each shoe must have weighed 5 pounds. A few holes later, he sees a lady watering her flowers and proceeds to go ask her to borrow the hose. We all sit there for a minute in disbelief as he is washing the mud off of his shoes next to this lady's flowerbed as she looks on in horror. We just drove off, couldn't believe it.

 

#2 When I was 12 and playing an executive 9 hole course with some baseball buddies, we get to #2, a straight away par 4. There are guys in hard hats working at the bottom of the hill maybe 80 yards in front and just to the right of us. My friend Keith says "wouldn't it be funny of one of us hits them?" I hit over them thank goodness. Then, Keith hits the big ball before the little ball and the little ball flies hopelessly right at one of the workers and knocks his hard hat off. They scamper well right as Bobby steps up to hit. He aims about 100 yards left and proceeds to top his ball about 75 yards. Bobby and I both go look for his ball leaving Keith to retrieve his.

 

#3 I am playing as a single behind a twosome one day. I have 6 iron into a reachable par 5 number 8. They were slow, so as soon as they cleared the green, I hit and see it drawing left toward their cart. I yell "FORE!!!!" They sit there a moment or two and then start driving off. My ball lands between their bags on their cart as they drive away, oblivious. If they hadn't moved, it would have hit the top of their cart. I had to chase them down on the 9th tee to retrieve my ball. I thanked them as they save my ball from bouncing OB. 

 

#4 Same friend as the first story, Mike. I am playing with him, my boss, and another guy at our company in the annual Coors golf tournament. My boss blows his duck call in the middle of Jim's swing and he wipes one about 100 right yards right on about our 8th hole. Then Jim gets John back on #1, our 16th hole of the day as he farts in John's backswing on a putt. John misses the 25 footer 10 feet left and 10 feet short. Then, we all start telling fart stories. 

 

Mike tells us his all timer when he cleared out 6 rows in a movie theater after some bad Mexican food and everyone is throwing candy and popcorn at his buddy who is still asleep in the chair next to where Mike was, as they thought it was the buddy. We are all laughing until Mike says "If you had grinned, it would have stuck to your teeth, I mean it would have gagged a maggot!" We all lost it. My boss, John, was taking a swig of beer as this was being said and proceeds to blow beer and snot everywhere. The snot literally looked like it was swinging between his bowed legs. I laughed so hard I literally thought I was going to explode and die right there. 

 

None of us could do anything for 10 to 15 minutes and the group behind us who was at least a hole behind caught up to us and forced us to hit our tee shots. We all backed away laughing at least once and none of us hit the fairway. 

[Shiprx]

When I first took up the game in college I had no one to show me the ropes.  I also had a preconceived notion that golf was somewhat elite, and that deals and connections were to be made on the golf course. After a few weeks of trying to figure out a swing on the driving range, it was time for my first round ever.  I wanted to make a great impression for that first 18, so I paid my fees and tipped the guy at the register $20 fully thinking I was out there greasing the wheels and networking in all the right places.  This was at the  municipal course in Greenville, NC, and the guy looked at me like I was insane. 

 

Obviously there is nothing wrong with tipping, and 10 years later I still tip at all appropriate points of contact, but I still cringe a bit to this day when I think about how skewed my perceptions were as to what you were supposed to do at a golf course.  I had a million other embarrassing memories at that course, but it was a cool track and I'd love to get back there some time. 

[MikeW2]

Had a very good Saturday during a club championship one year, finished the day with lead. So inexperience and immaturity decided to kick in and I took it deep that night. Overslept and just made my tee time by about two minutes. First tee shot I smoked, drove a short par 4 and the ball stopped 1” from the hole. This was a gross 2 and a net 1 and would have been worth about 2500 in skins money except because I was a hungover mess and late to the course I didn’t pay into it that day. Thirty years later, still pissed at myself.

[LeftDaddy]

On 6/29/2020 at 2:41 PM, pepo211 said:

St. Andrews Old Course hole #1! I was 27 at the time this was in 2007 I got so nervous on the tee box after they announced our group I got up there and duck hooked it almost up against the white fence coming up 18. I had to walk allllll the way over there with my caddie as ashamed as you could be. He tells me to grab a 5 iron and just get it back in the fairway of number 1. I tell him no give me 3 wood I am gonna lay up to the water. I hit at least 12" behind the ball and it advances about 15 yards. Walked up and did it again with same club but it probaly went 40 yards. Now i am on the left side of 1 and going to lay up to the water, I grab 5 iron and hozel it straight to the practice area on the right of 1 where there is a kid camp going on........Needless to say I take a 9 on hole 1 at The Old Course and have been the butt of every golf joke my buddies have told since!!

I have one at the Old Course but on hole #2. I was nervous as heck on 1 but eked out a par despite a poor drive and a mediocre approach. Made a nice 2 putt par. So I relax a bit and head to #2 tee. Cold top my drive 80 degrees right of me into some bushes. Can’t find it. Retee. Eventually hit an approach into one of the dreaded pot bunkers. Took me 3 tries to get out of it. Card an 11. Oh boy, so embarrassing. I actually played pretty well the rest of the way and I posted an 82 because of my handicap, but was really an 87 because of the 11. I enjoyed the Old Course so much. But I’ll never forget hole #2. 
 

And oddly a very similar thing happened to me at Pebble Beach. I bogeyed 1 and made a par on 2. So I relaxed a bit and proceeded to just absolutely hack my way around an easy hole #3. I didn’t really recover from that until around hole #8. I enjoyed Pebble overall, but that disaster on hole 3 and the nondescript holes on the back made it more “meh” for me (whereas I’d love to play the Old Course another 1,000 times!).

[rizzo66]

WQow this brought back too many bad memories - but probably the most embarassing was when a friend and I played early one morning on Ladies day at his club ( verty snooty club in st.paul)  the pro said just keep a low profile and get out of here as soon as your done - wekl on the 9th hole in front of the clubhouse I managed the blade a sand wedge on a easy par 5 and it smashed through the screen in the out door dining area right into the womens club brunch  - needless to say he was suspended for a month and I had a bill for broken dishes and screen - 20 years later he still reminds me of it every time I have a sand wedge shot into a short 5 :).

 

[rizzo66]

Wow this brought back too many bad memories - but probably the most embarassing was when a friend and I played early one morning on Ladies day at his club ( verty snooty club in st.paul)  the pro said just keep a low profile and get out of here as soon as your done - wekl on the 9th hole in front of the clubhouse I managed the blade a sand wedge on a easy par 5 and it smashed through the screen in the out door dining area right into the womens club brunch  - needless to say he was suspended for a month and I had a bill for broken dishes and screen - 20 years later he still reminds me of it every time I have a sand wedge shot into a short 5 :).

 

Edited November 17, 2020 by rizzo66

[Dr. Block]

A buddy and myself are waiting on the first tee. We've hit our tee-shots. The twosome we've been paired with that day is now up on the white tee getting on with it. This first tee happens to be precariously close to the 9th green and at a dangerous angle.

 

Up to the ninth green walks a fella and his pull cart. Not old, but probably into his 50's, decent disposition, looked fairly athletic. He was making his way to a 30 yard pitch he had remaining to the green, but his position put him about tour gallery distance from our new friends on the tee. I already had the situation playing out in my head when old boy hauls off and smashes a warning track power ground ball right at this poor guy. Now thankfully he saw it coming, but no matter which way he moved, the golf ball moved with him - like a heat seeking missile. That screaming liner ate him up like a short-hop eats up a second baseman! I have never seen anything like it before or since.  

 

It looked like it stung, and he was mad, but he couldn't really do anything about it. He walked over there without paying attention after all. 

 

Me and my buddy probably didn't help the situation by laughing a bit. Now when I say we laughed, please also understand we immediately yelled, "fore" which helped him try to evade that missile. It just didn't work out for him. That golf ball was on him like it was a Monty Python routine.

 

So, how was this embarrassing for me?  It came in the sudden realization that I had lost nearly all empathy for my fellow man. It was not an appropriate moment to laugh, and several sets of eyes burning through my skull reinforced that for me. I've tried to not be such a sarcastic jacka-$-$ moving forward. I don't think I've made much progress, though. 

Edited November 18, 2020 by Dr. Block

[Members Only]

Not mine personally, I've had too many random ones none of which are too notable, but my buddy in high school in a league match has a great one. We were playing at this super pristine country club against one of the best schools and teams in the county. Both of our teams were pretty stacked and my playing partner and I were in the first group. We had our school camera crew out there and there were at least 20 members looking on along with our coaches and teammates. It was the match of the year for sure. Anyways the first hole is a tight par 4 with OB left and right but it's only about 310 from the tips so we just elect to play short of trouble into the widest parts during our patches to ensure an easy par. My teammate wanted to be aggressive this time around and whipped out his 4 iron which carried like 220 for him at the time (he was trying to carry the fairway bunker to leave himself a short pitch shot in). He was a pretty nervous player overall so I never really understood what his brain was doing at the time but he was pretty stiff with very little warm up. He swung as hard as he could at the ball and shank topped it dead right. If it wasn't for the multitude of trees planted on both sides of the tee box which continues through to the fairway he would have to re-tee but he was saved. His first shot went about 50 yards and everyone around couldn't believe it. I was laughing and crying in my head at the same time.

 

The best part of the story is that he literally walks up to his ball, whips out 4 iron again and sticks it to like 20 feet and makes par. What a comeback from a disaster start!

[RSinSG]

5 hours ago, Dr. Block said:

"It was not an appropriate moment to laugh"

Welcome to my world. After 30 years as a LEO my sense of humor is often dark and twisted. It was how we coped with the horrible things we had to handle, and sadly it carried over to my personal life. My poor wife often had to deal with me being literally the only one laughing at a scene in a movie theater.  Oh well. 

[Dr. Block]

11 hours ago, RSinSG said:

Welcome to my world. After 30 years as a LEO my sense of humor is often dark and twisted. It was how we coped with the horrible things we had to handle, and sadly it carried over to my personal life. My poor wife often had to deal with me being literally the only one laughing at a scene in a movie theater.  Oh well. 

That is a tough job. You have my respect. St. George, Utah looks like a beautiful place to patrol, though.

 

I can only imagine the difficulties in coping, but keeping a sense of humor about things is probably a lot healthier then some of the other avenues. 

 

In my younger days, my inability to keep from sharing my sense of humor got me thrown on the hood of a car or two, but It also led to some very entertaining learning experiences as well. Thankfully, I'm older and somewhat wiser now, so when I deal with a person wearing a badge, it's nothing but respect and professionalism. I still smile at some of the memories I have of dealing with clever and entertaining cops, though. You guys are out there.  

Edited November 18, 2020 by Dr. Block

[RSinSG]

9 hours ago, Dr. Block said:

That is a tough job. You have my respect. St. George, Utah looks like a beautiful place to patrol, though.

 

I can only imagine the difficulties in coping, but keeping a sense of humor about things is probably a lot healthier then some of the other avenues. 

 

In my younger days, my inability to keep from sharing my sense of humor got me thrown on the hood of a car or two, but It also led to some very entertaining learning experiences as well. Thankfully, I'm older and somewhat wiser now, so when I deal with a person wearing a badge, it's nothing but respect and professionalism. I still smile at some of the memories I have of dealing with clever and entertaining cops, though. You guys are out there.  

I worked in Palm Springs so while it also was a beautiful place we had our share of gangs, crime etc. Most visitors to PS never see that part of the city though.