I want to play more golf!

[moptop]

I have the golf bug bad, but I can't get out to play much. I would like to play and practice enough that I can actually improve. I'm playing about once a week this year. I also cannot play year round as I'm in Pittsburgh. I'm actually off every friday and have 3 day weekend every weekend. The major impediment is wife and kids (don't get me wrong, I love them very much). I have a 3 year old and a 9 month old. Does anyone have advice to get out to the course or range a little more, or do I just have to suck it up for a few years?

[bluedot]

Yes, I do have advice for you. Be careful what you wish for.

Enjoy the 3 yr. old and the 9 month old with all your heart and soul and mind, and forget about playing a lot of golf for now. Before you blink, they'll be grown and gone, and you'll have all the time you want for golf. Play as much as you can on vacations and such, and when they get old enough take them with you. But understand that your time with them is irreplaceable; golf isn't.

I'm 68 and retired, and I play 150+ rounds a year now. But for almost 20 years, I never played more than 30 rounds a year while my kids were little; I spent every minute that I could with them, and I've never regretted it a bit. My son is now 30 and lives 400 miles away, and my daughter died of cancer 8 years ago at age 24, and I'd give up ALL 150 rounds of golf that I play and never touch a club again for the chance to go back to when they were little. There are no second chances for some things, and parenting is maybe the biggest.

[Obee]

Bluedot's perspective is certainly valid, but there is another one.

If your kids learn early that you have something that is important to you and that you are willing to fit into your life, that is certainly something positive to be modeled for young people. If you really want to play more golf, then figure out a way to add it into your routine.

Maybe you play once after work one day of the week (during the summer you can easily play 18 if you tee off at 5:30) and then you play every Friday or Saturday or Sunday morning and you play early and don't stick around to drink with the boys afterwards (that's the really killer for young people with families, not the golf itself). That's two rounds, every week during the playing season -- and you could probably figure out a way to make it three times per week if you really wanted to.

The other thing is that you have to get the wife to understand that golf keeps you sane. That it's important to you to feel "whole," or however you want to explain it.

Bottom line: I know many, many guys who play golf 3 to 5 times a week and are still excellent fathers/husbands. I alway had a difficult time "regulating" my time, so I would stay and drink and go out for a second 18 on the weekends, etc. But I know lots of dads who are very structured with their time and who rarely play more than weekly max commitment to their spouse.

One last thing. I know/knew several dads who fit that "extra" day of golf into their routine by taking one of the kids with them when they golf and/or practice late. And it doesn't matter if they like it at first. Just get them out there with you.

Best of luck to you in crafting a life of meaning for yourself that also respects your commitments to your spouse and children.

[PhilsFanDrew]

Most of my buddies that have kids and golf have to tee off very early on the weekends. This has multiple advantages because not only will you still have mid morning and the rest of your day but you can usually zip right through as the course is not going to be backed up. As far as getting to the range, offer to pick up dinner, groceries, or run an errand before or after you hit up the range to help out your wife. She's going to be far more likely to give you that extra hour or so of range time if you are able to free up her schedule a bit. Another thing is your kids are young enough now to get on a napping schedule. If you get them on a consistent nap schedule you can maybe plan 9 holes around that.

[robdalky]

"My son is now 30 and lives 400 miles away, and my daughter died of cancer 8 years ago at age 24, and I'd give up ALL 150 rounds of golf that I play and never touch a club again for the chance to go back to when they were little."

Worth writing this down.. Thank you for that Bluedot. I find myself occasionally resentful at the inconveniences of work, family, etc., almost me not controlling my own life in a way, but you have a much wiser and better perspective on it..

I struggle with this myself, having been an avid golfer, then having 2 kids, and now having 2 more on the way.

It's definitely more of a challenge to get out. I've started trying to go to the range or play 9 during nap time or bring at least one of my boys along. Plus: This is really fun and at least I can tell my older one is really getting into golf... I don't try to coach him at all, just go out and let's have fun.. He's 4 1/2 and can play a solid 9 holes with me, which is awesome.

I've also tried to find the lowest-stress least-inconvenient times to play (nap time as above or as early as possible to get back home by 1030 AM). Usually, this means throwing out my warmup and going from 18 green to my car ASAP (no beers today, fellas).

I got 63 rounds in in 2019 and so far 32 this year, so I get out about 1x a week. I wish I could play 4-5x a week, but honestly once a week ain't bad, I am grateful for that much.. I did this primarily by giving up all of my other hobbies and building golf time around when it works for the family (not the other way around)... got to pick and choose.. I am fully prepared for that to go down more after the new kids on the block arrive, there's just no way around it... hope that helps!

[Krt22]

If you want to golf more, private clubs typically make that easier. You can play 9 in an hour or 18 in 2 when the course is empty, easy enough to sneak in time at the course before/after work. You also don't feel quite as bad if you go out, play a few holes, and have to bail if SHTF at home

[Guest]

I'd echo the sentiment of playing early. First tee time on most courses is ~7am, if not earlier. If you can't get a full 18 in, you could easily play 27 between the 3 days and still be back by ~10am depending on how far the local course is.

[Tanner25]

Do you have any grandparents nearby? My mother-n-law loved my golf day and I played every other Saturday. I had no guilt leaving because the mother-n-law was more than happy to take my place. When my son was 8 years old, I took him to the course. He played every hole like a par 3 150 yards out. Another win-win.

[moptop]

Thanks for the ideas guys!

[Eric267]

If your hardcore you can play in Da Burgh pretty much year round. Get yourself some FJ wintersof gloves, some warm non bulky layers, and some Bright orange low compression balls. As long as there’s not snow on the ground there are quite a few courses open depending on which side of town your on. I played the past few years when I was home for Xmas. My parents neighbor plays 3-4 days a week year round weather permitting.

 

Its definitely a different kind of golf, it’s hard to score well. Sometimes you need a screwdriver to break a hole into the frozen ground so you can get a tee in. Lots of bump and runs into the greens and you get some crazy bounces off the tee for sure, but it’s a blast!

 

just a thought

[BrysonD400]

Join a club if u can. My daughter and I have a great routine: range, play 6 or 9 holes, and then jump in the pool and get some ice cream. We just had our official lesson together too. Getting ur kids involved in golf is great. She's been coming out w/ me since she was an infant.