Goofiest, Most Delusional Golfer Played With

[SmiterOfPv1x]

One last point, there's been very few bragging posts. Sure, when frustrated I may have challenged with tales of long hit balls, but talking about what you do isn't a brag. Being excited about something isn't a brag. I was excited when I found this site. It seemed like a golf online Mecca. I had just bought a new driver and had killed the ball with it. So yeah, I was jazzed. Found out it wasn't ok to talk about hitting a new club well or posting distances, so stopped doing so for a bit, but it was always brought back up. So now I embrace it. I know I'm right and anyone that doubts what I post is guessing that they're right. So go ahead and continue to underestimate someone that you don't know. Someone that does things that you can't. I'll continue to post what I feel like, and sleep well knowing that nothing I've posted is wrong. I'll continue to be envious of those that can post scores on real courses, something I usually don't do, and certainly won't call a man a liar about it just because I can't do so.

?

 

So because you can't, it's impossible. Right? You know what, I find it impossible to call a man a jerk without knowing him to be one.

 

But when the hat fits one must wear it. You'd be better off spending your time taking some lessons in physics. What I state isn't impossible. Far from it. I could hit the snot out of a baseball growing up too. So why call me a liar? Someone you know nothing about? Someone that has many faults but lying isn't one of them. I don't claim to be great at golf. I'm not. I can however hit the ball a long ways. Hello???? I used to compete in long drive competitions. You don't do that without being able to smack the crap out of a ball. I've been known to grunt when I really want to smack one. Is that normal? Does someone with a smooth swing that hits it , say, 300 typically grunt? You want to take a stab at how many name brand drivers I've broken? How's about a new 2 piece Titleist golf ball? You seen that before? I have. No one I was playing with that day had ever seen it before yet they weren't really surprised.

[SmiterOfPv1x]

Circa 1983. Some fool with a Muirfield 1 iron. Couldn't break 90 and tried to play that butter knife. AKA: me

 

I won't say that I've never been able to hit a one iron. I will admit that I'd be much better off if I'd have not known they were invented. But on those one in 20 that did what they were supposed to do? Let's just say that I've fathered children that have been less satisfying (joking, joking-put down the pitchforks! Lol).

 

I was 0 for my entire lifetime with that club. Grounders that sliced and stung.

 

If it was a baseball average it would have read .050 BA. I hit just enough of them to know that it could be done, but nowhere near enough of them to think that I was the one that could do it. But that one in 20 that went close to 300 without getting more than 25 feet off the ground was enough for me to waste way more time than I should have. Mine was an old ping eye 2 1i (iirc) and I don't know where it is anymore so I'm guessing I probably offered it as a blood sacrifice to just be able to somewhat consistently hit the 3i.

[thug the bunny]

 

What the hell is that?

 

Jimmy Fallon's ADHD skit on SNL, also making fun of the parents who put their kids on a leash at that time. Pretty f'n funny. Now, of course it's not PC.

[SmiterOfPv1x]

 

What the hell is that?

 

Jimmy Fallon's ADHD skit on SNL, also making fun of the parents who put their kids on a leash at that time. Pretty f'n funny. Now, of course it's not PC.

 

PC, phhhhhh. Who cares. I personally (probably?) wouldn't tie up my child but I've been tempted with some other "parent of the years" offspring a time or two. Never would, but wished that I could.

[oikos1]

One last point, there's been very few bragging posts. Sure, when frustrated I may have challenged with tales of long hit balls, but talking about what you do isn't a brag. Being excited about something isn't a brag. I was excited when I found this site. It seemed like a golf online Mecca. I had just bought a new driver and had killed the ball with it. So yeah, I was jazzed. Found out it wasn't ok to talk about hitting a new club well or posting distances, so stopped doing so for a bit, but it was always brought back up. So now I embrace it. I know I'm right and anyone that doubts what I post is guessing that they're right. So go ahead and continue to underestimate someone that you don't know. Someone that does things that you can't. I'll continue to post what I feel like, and sleep well knowing that nothing I've posted is wrong. I'll continue to be envious of those that can post scores on real courses, something I usually don't do, and certainly won't call a man a liar about it just because I can't do so.

 

What does this even mean? Who are you fighting with?

[SmiterOfPv1x]

One last point, there's been very few bragging posts. Sure, when frustrated I may have challenged with tales of long hit balls, but talking about what you do isn't a brag. Being excited about something isn't a brag. I was excited when I found this site. It seemed like a golf online Mecca. I had just bought a new driver and had killed the ball with it. So yeah, I was jazzed. Found out it wasn't ok to talk about hitting a new club well or posting distances, so stopped doing so for a bit, but it was always brought back up. So now I embrace it. I know I'm right and anyone that doubts what I post is guessing that they're right. So go ahead and continue to underestimate someone that you don't know. Someone that does things that you can't. I'll continue to post what I feel like, and sleep well knowing that nothing I've posted is wrong. I'll continue to be envious of those that can post scores on real courses, something I usually don't do, and certainly won't call a man a liar about it just because I can't do so.

 

What does this even mean? Who are you fighting with?

 

Pretty much the entire site man. Read my posts that state to such. From the get go. No one believes that I can hit a dang golf ball, a long way. I get called a liar daily if not hourly. When no one has seen I what I can do.

 

So you'd be pretty hot in my shoes.

[jwash112]

One last point, there's been very few bragging posts. Sure, when frustrated I may have challenged with tales of long hit balls, but talking about what you do isn't a brag. Being excited about something isn't a brag. I was excited when I found this site. It seemed like a golf online Mecca. I had just bought a new driver and had killed the ball with it. So yeah, I was jazzed. Found out it wasn't ok to talk about hitting a new club well or posting distances, so stopped doing so for a bit, but it was always brought back up. So now I embrace it. I know I'm right and anyone that doubts what I post is guessing that they're right. So go ahead and continue to underestimate someone that you don't know. Someone that does things that you can't. I'll continue to post what I feel like, and sleep well knowing that nothing I've posted is wrong. I'll continue to be envious of those that can post scores on real courses, something I usually don't do, and certainly won't call a man a liar about it just because I can't do so.

 

What does this even mean? Who are you fighting with?

 

Pretty much the entire site man. Read my posts that state to such. From the get go. No one believes that I can hit a dang golf ball, a long way. I get called a liar daily if not hourly. When no one has seen I what I can do.

 

So you'd be pretty hot in my shoes.

 

Record yourself doing it and then post it if you like. From what I've seen, you've gotten extremely defensive. Its fair for people to doubt someone when they've never seen them do what they claim to do.

[lloyyd]

No one believes that I can hit a dang golf ball, a long way. I get called a liar daily if not hourly. When no one has seen I what I can do.

If I say I believe you will you stop posting about it?

[stickfish]

Tony Romo

 

I played Balmoral the next few days after Romo won, to post what he did back then with the weather at hand would put him close to the top in WRX land at least. Not to imply he can do it again against a better field and track, but it is what it is (or was anyway). Not too many sub par rounds are posted at that course to begin with, and he did it with the layout set up for tournament conditions and rules.

[Neverfadeaway86]

 

Why you got that poor child tied up Gretch? Also when you click the reply button it shows the dreaded "r" word in the pick discription. Even a Neanderthal like me got the memo that that word ain't exactly cool.

 

That said carry on. I'm working on evicting a kidney stone tonight (get them chronically with no known cause or real treatment or prevention) so between sweating, puking, crying, and even the occasional "screaming like a little girl" bout im having as much fun as I care.

 

Still waiting on the "in pain to the point of hallucinations " part of the night to start. Good times. Hopefully this is an hours long event this time and not a days long event.

 

its from an SNL skit

[Thrillhouse]

One last point, there's been very few bragging posts. Sure, when frustrated I may have challenged with tales of long hit balls, but talking about what you do isn't a brag. Being excited about something isn't a brag. I was excited when I found this site. It seemed like a golf online Mecca. I had just bought a new driver and had killed the ball with it. So yeah, I was jazzed. Found out it wasn't ok to talk about hitting a new club well or posting distances, so stopped doing so for a bit, but it was always brought back up. So now I embrace it. I know I'm right and anyone that doubts what I post is guessing that they're right. So go ahead and continue to underestimate someone that you don't know. Someone that does things that you can't. I'll continue to post what I feel like, and sleep well knowing that nothing I've posted is wrong. I'll continue to be envious of those that can post scores on real courses, something I usually don't do, and certainly won't call a man a liar about it just because I can't do so.

 

What does this even mean? Who are you fighting with?

 

Pretty much the entire site man. Read my posts that state to such. From the get go. No one believes that I can hit a dang golf ball, a long way. I get called a liar daily if not hourly. When no one has seen I what I can do.

 

So you'd be pretty hot in my shoes.

 

So post a swing vid, itll be obvious what you can and can't do, problem solved.

[AceCatKY]

One last point, there's been very few bragging posts. Sure, when frustrated I may have challenged with tales of long hit balls, but talking about what you do isn't a brag. Being excited about something isn't a brag. I was excited when I found this site. It seemed like a golf online Mecca. I had just bought a new driver and had killed the ball with it. So yeah, I was jazzed. Found out it wasn't ok to talk about hitting a new club well or posting distances, so stopped doing so for a bit, but it was always brought back up. So now I embrace it. I know I'm right and anyone that doubts what I post is guessing that they're right. So go ahead and continue to underestimate someone that you don't know. Someone that does things that you can't. I'll continue to post what I feel like, and sleep well knowing that nothing I've posted is wrong. I'll continue to be envious of those that can post scores on real courses, something I usually don't do, and certainly won't call a man a liar about it just because I can't do so.

 

What does this even mean? Who are you fighting with?

 

Pretty much the entire site man. Read my posts that state to such. From the get go. No one believes that I can hit a dang golf ball, a long way. I get called a liar daily if not hourly. When no one has seen I what I can do.

 

So you'd be pretty hot in my shoes.

 

Record yourself doing it and then post it if you like. From what I've seen, you've gotten extremely defensive. Its fair for people to doubt someone when they've never seen them do what they claim to do.

 

Yeah, an easy way to stop all of the perceived criticism is to just post a video of you hitting your 320 yard 3 iron or 140 mph SS and tell everyone to suck it.

[Chief Illiniwek]

I don't care if you post a vid, just stop ruining one of the best threads on the site currently.

[double_d]

Last fall, we were out and it was about 40 degrees. Both it pretty good drives on one hole, nothing spectacular, but carry distance was just under 240 and we were side by side. He told me his boss (who he golfs with sometimes) would have said we carried those drives 280.

 

I've said this before, but I think most people feel like anything hit over 250 yards is somehow 300 yards. It's a huge misconception. And the overwhelming majority of golfers don't fly their drives 250. Plenty of people on this site do, but if you go to your average golf course and watch group after group tee off, there just aren't a ton of guys hitting the ball 250+ on the fly.

 

I think courses are partly to blame for this. There are plenty of holes on different courses that I play where the yardage marked on the card or tee box sign is much longer than the tees almost always play. I played with a guy who could hit the ball pretty well. On a decent length Par 5 he crushed a drive and thought he hit it 350+ yards when the GPS showed it was a bit over 300. No, I didn't show him the GPS.

 

lol, so true. There's one course near me with a driveable par 4. It's listed at something like 297. You can walk to the very back of the very back most tee box, put a laser on it, and it's like 269. From the white tees it probably plays about 240 most days. That one hole has singlehandedly given birth to an awful lot of dudes who hit the ball 300.

 

 

This is gold , GOLD Jerry!

[jmck]

 

What the hell is that?

 

Jimmy Fallon's ADHD skit on SNL, also making fun of the parents who put their kids on a leash at that time. Pretty f'n funny. Now, of course it's not PC.

 

Nah, much older. It's Mike Myers as a hyperactive hypoglycemic kid.

 

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/philip-and-grace/n10504?snl=1

[joey2aces]

I will never understand people who brag about their golf game, or anything for that matter, especially when their brags are delusional to boot.

 

It has been my experience that whomever brags about money or a golf game have neither.

[cardoustie]

So last night we had our "soft" Men's Opening

 

New guy joined last week, he told me he was an 8. I told him he'd be an 11 or 12 in a month. He thought I was full of it but I explained our course in under-rated and all our caps are overstated

 

His net score was ????

 

Last place of 80 guys to hint

 

Now to be fair the course was very wet but we had ball in hand. The greens were running 12.5 and 6 pins were extremely nasty. On #10 all 4 of our pro's putted off the green

 

Anyways - the right guess on his NET score would impress me

[justasgood]

So last night we had our "soft" Men's Opening

 

New guy joined last week, he told me he was an 8. I told him he'd be an 11 or 12 in a month. He thought I was full of it but I explained our course in under-rated and all our caps are overstated

 

His net score was ????

 

Last place of 80 guys to hint

 

Now to be fair the course was very wet but we had ball in hand. The greens were running 12.5 and 6 pins were extremely nasty. On #10 all 4 of our pro's putted off the green

 

Anyways - the right guess on his NET score would impress me

 

Net 89

[cardoustie]

you were close .... he was a NET Gretzky

[justasgood]

you were close .... he was a NET Gretzky

 

Was he humbled or full of excuses?

[jmck]

Jeez. I think you were low on where he's heading. At that rate he'll be an 18 or 20 in a few months, forget an 11 or 12.

[cardoustie]

he looked a little shocked. ((( FWIW our course is 73.8 and 143 was 6600 yards )))

 

Making it worse we had a new scoring system that was putting everyone scores / skins etc across all the TV's in our dinner area. There was no hiding

 

Meanwhile my 18 cap buddy, who was a plus 2 back in the day shot a 114 and said he was quitting .. right after he gets back from the RTJ Trail. The thing is he believes he will find it again

[cardoustie]

Jeez. I think you were low on where he's heading. At that rate he'll be an 18 or 20 in a few months, forget an 11 or 12.

 

 

Our course has been open a week and the greens were running 9. Then boom 12.5. You have to putt these things to believe them. 10 footers with 8 feet of break not uncommon

Plus we have no bailouts left or right on 90% of the holes, straight or you are in a hazard or the woods (or OOB)

[AceCatKY]

Jeez. I think you were low on where he's heading. At that rate he'll be an 18 or 20 in a few months, forget an 11 or 12.

 

 

Our course has been open a week and the greens were running 9. Then boom 12.5. You have to putt these things to believe them. 10 footers with 8 feet of break not uncommon

Plus we have no bailouts left or right on 90% of the holes, straight or you are in a hazard or the woods (or OOB)

 

What course?

[bcflyguy1]

Guys, seriously, you all need to quit talking about me as if I weren't here... :cheesy:

 

Some real gems in here, thanks to all for sharing!

[lumberman2462]

Jeez. I think you were low on where he's heading. At that rate he'll be an 18 or 20 in a few months, forget an 11 or 12.

 

 

Our course has been open a week and the greens were running 9. Then boom 12.5. You have to putt these things to believe them. 10 footers with 8 feet of break not uncommon

Plus we have no bailouts left or right on 90% of the holes, straight or you are in a hazard or the woods (or OOB)

 

Sounds like a course I would not enjoy playing....

[Lenny7]

This kind of fits the subject. In high school some buddies and I were hanging out in the pro shop BSing with the pro and this guys comes in saying he made a hole in one on a par 4. Dogleg right over trees, 390-400 yards. Back then the course would put holes in one in the newspaper, am I dating myself? Anyway, the pro took down his info and when the guy leaves the pro throws the paper in the trash and says, "That's BS, I've seen that guy play."

[SmiterOfPv1x]

3i as the crow flies, circa 1998 #8 Valley View GC. Crestline OH. 3 putt par, lol.

 

2nd one is the recreation shot circa 2016 with the exact same 3 iron since I had told my kids about it and they wanted to see it. Both were big sweeping hooks that started just right of the tree line and bent around it. The first one in 1998 was an accident, I was just trying to hit it to the end of the fairway and somehow turned on it. I'd never had a ball fly like that before, my misses back then were always right. I did get up and down last year tho, lol.

[jmck]

Jeez. I think you were low on where he's heading. At that rate he'll be an 18 or 20 in a few months, forget an 11 or 12.

 

 

Our course has been open a week and the greens were running 9. Then boom 12.5. You have to putt these things to believe them. 10 footers with 8 feet of break not uncommon

Plus we have no bailouts left or right on 90% of the holes, straight or you are in a hazard or the woods (or OOB)

 

Well at least your handicap travels well. So you've got that going for you......which is nice.

[8602081]

This kind of fits the subject. In high school some buddies and I were hanging out in the pro shop BSing with the pro and this guys comes in saying he made a hole in one on a par 4. Dogleg right over trees, 390-400 yards. Back then the course would put holes in one in the newspaper, am I dating myself? Anyway, the pro took down his info and when the guy leaves the pro throws the paper in the trash and says, "That's BS, I've seen that guy play."

 

BS move by club pro...

 

I've been playing golf for around 16 years.. My only hole in one and an eagle came early (within first 3 years of playing).. Yes, I got lucky, but still counts.. I've never had another hole in one or an eagle since... It can happen...