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Zach Johnson splits with caddie


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And here's Damon's wife to squash all the speculation in here.....

 

Joy Green @caddiewife

 

"Thanks Kip, you rock! Good grief, my man is not a drinker. It’s not easy for anyone to get fired and during the holidays stings more. Tis the season I guess to kick a man while he’s down. #NotCool #CaddieHaters"

 

Might be another substance other than alcohol.

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I last talked to Damon the day before he left for Mexico the week he got sick.... Damon was my roommate when he met his current wife Joy, she used to come to the house and hang out with us, that was when she still worked for the Golf Channel. I was in Damon and Joy's wedding, he is not only a good friend, but he's always been like a big brother to me.

 

I'm sure Damon will have no trouble picking up another bag, but the last few times I talked to him he had mentioned that it might be time for me him to move on from caddying for Zack, so while it might be a shock to him for actually to be on Zack's terms, Damon was also thinking down those same lines. I remember in 2003 or so when he called me and told me that he was firing Scott Hoch and was going to start caddying for this young guy named Zack Johnson that he thought was going to do really well on the PGA Tour.... I thought he was nuts because Scott was known as the "Human ATM Machine" for how many top tens he had, but he was also getting ready to go on the Champions Tour and according to Damon Scott was getting more and more difficult to work for.

 

In regards to finances, Damon is doing just fine, he doesn't spend much money and is pretty good at investing wisely too.... he's pretty financially savvy, probably more so than some Tour Players. I actually caddied at Finals of PGA Tour School for Damon when he missed his PGA Tour card by 1 shot after bogeying his 108th and final hole, an easy par 5 where he left a 4 footer 1" short, I'll never forget it it, he turned to me and said "I better not miss this mother f**cker by a shot" and he did, he cried like a baby after that.

 

Damon is a great guy, I'm sure it will end up being a blessing in disguise in the long run for him and might even open up newer and better doors. His worse year caddying on the PGA Tour he made $300k and his best year was the year that Zack won the Masters and that year Damon made $650k, and from what I know Damon's net worth is in the $5m range from caddying and investing wisely. I'm waiting for the dust to settle before I give him a call and get the full story, but I do know that Damon mentioned to me himself within the last few months that he was thinking of moving on before this news.

 

Regardless of what that Golf magazine article says, that putt final putt that Damon missed at Q-school was 4 feet, not 2 feet..... trust me, I was there!

 

 

Wow! You haven't talked to him since being let go, and you drop this on a public forum????

 

Not sure I would want my "good friends" and "little brother" being this open with information that I may have thought to be confidential. Just sayin.

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I last talked to Damon the day before he left for Mexico the week he got sick.... Damon was my roommate when he met his current wife Joy, she used to come to the house and hang out with us, that was when she still worked for the Golf Channel. I was in Damon and Joy's wedding, he is not only a good friend, but he's always been like a big brother to me.

 

I'm sure Damon will have no trouble picking up another bag, but the last few times I talked to him he had mentioned that it might be time for me him to move on from caddying for Zack, so while it might be a shock to him for actually to be on Zack's terms, Damon was also thinking down those same lines. I remember in 2003 or so when he called me and told me that he was firing Scott Hoch and was going to start caddying for this young guy named Zack Johnson that he thought was going to do really well on the PGA Tour.... I thought he was nuts because Scott was known as the "Human ATM Machine" for how many top tens he had, but he was also getting ready to go on the Champions Tour and according to Damon Scott was getting more and more difficult to work for.

 

In regards to finances, Damon is doing just fine, he doesn't spend much money and is pretty good at investing wisely too.... he's pretty financially savvy, probably more so than some Tour Players. I actually caddied at Finals of PGA Tour School for Damon when he missed his PGA Tour card by 1 shot after bogeying his 108th and final hole, an easy par 5 where he left a 4 footer 1" short, I'll never forget it it, he turned to me and said "I better not miss this mother f**cker by a shot" and he did, he cried like a baby after that.

 

Damon is a great guy, I'm sure it will end up being a blessing in disguise in the long run for him and might even open up newer and better doors. His worse year caddying on the PGA Tour he made $300k and his best year was the year that Zack won the Masters and that year Damon made $650k, and from what I know Damon's net worth is in the $5m range from caddying and investing wisely. I'm waiting for the dust to settle before I give him a call and get the full story, but I do know that Damon mentioned to me himself within the last few months that he was thinking of moving on before this news.

 

Regardless of what that Golf magazine article says, that putt final putt that Damon missed at Q-school was 4 feet, not 2 feet..... trust me, I was there!

 

 

Wow! You haven't talked to him since being let go, and you drop this on a public forum????

 

Not sure I would want my "good friends" and "little brother" being this open with information that I may have thought to be confidential. Just sayin.

 

Agreed, not that I care at all if Damon is a drinker, but that is what this entire thread has been about, his "friend" outlines his entire financial position, but doesn't speak a word to the drinking.

.."with friends like these"....

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And here's Damon's wife to squash all the speculation in here.....

 

Joy Green @caddiewife

 

"Thanks Kip, you rock! Good grief, my man is not a drinker. It’s not easy for anyone to get fired and during the holidays stings more. Tis the season I guess to kick a man while he’s down. #NotCool #CaddieHaters"

 

Might be another substance other than alcohol.

 

Didn't think anyone could be more ridiculous than a previous poster with the stupid nonsense. I was wrong.

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I last talked to Damon the day before he left for Mexico the week he got sick.... Damon was my roommate when he met his current wife Joy, she used to come to the house and hang out with us, that was when she still worked for the Golf Channel. I was in Damon and Joy's wedding, he is not only a good friend, but he's always been like a big brother to me.

 

I'm sure Damon will have no trouble picking up another bag, but the last few times I talked to him he had mentioned that it might be time for me him to move on from caddying for Zack, so while it might be a shock to him for actually to be on Zack's terms, Damon was also thinking down those same lines. I remember in 2003 or so when he called me and told me that he was firing Scott Hoch and was going to start caddying for this young guy named Zack Johnson that he thought was going to do really well on the PGA Tour.... I thought he was nuts because Scott was known as the "Human ATM Machine" for how many top tens he had, but he was also getting ready to go on the Champions Tour and according to Damon Scott was getting more and more difficult to work for.

 

In regards to finances, Damon is doing just fine, he doesn't spend much money and is pretty good at investing wisely too.... he's pretty financially savvy, probably more so than some Tour Players. I actually caddied at Finals of PGA Tour School for Damon when he missed his PGA Tour card by 1 shot after bogeying his 108th and final hole, an easy par 5 where he left a 4 footer 1" short, I'll never forget it it, he turned to me and said "I better not miss this mother f**cker by a shot" and he did, he cried like a baby after that.

 

Damon is a great guy, I'm sure it will end up being a blessing in disguise in the long run for him and might even open up newer and better doors. His worse year caddying on the PGA Tour he made $300k and his best year was the year that Zack won the Masters and that year Damon made $650k, and from what I know Damon's net worth is in the $5m range from caddying and investing wisely. I'm waiting for the dust to settle before I give him a call and get the full story, but I do know that Damon mentioned to me himself within the last few months that he was thinking of moving on before this news.

 

Regardless of what that Golf magazine article says, that putt final putt that Damon missed at Q-school was 4 feet, not 2 feet..... trust me, I was there!

 

 

Wow! You haven't talked to him since being let go, and you drop this on a public forum????

 

Not sure I would want my "good friends" and "little brother" being this open with information that I may have thought to be confidential. Just sayin.

 

Agreed, not that I care at all if Damon is a drinker, but that is what this entire thread has been about, his "friend" outlines his entire financial position, but doesn't speak a word to the drinking.

.."with friends like these"....

 

Why would he stoop to the level of some of the stupid posts in this thread?

 

Seems like a pretty reasonable post - a couple of folks that actually know the guy post and they get laid into? Far too common on here.

 

Damon himself has indicated he doesn't need to work a day the rest of his life if he doesn't want to.

 

Maybe it's a Seinfeld thing and Zach beat Damon to the "ignore".

 

Still sounds like both moving on, good for them.

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I last talked to Damon the day before he left for Mexico the week he got sick.... Damon was my roommate when he met his current wife Joy, she used to come to the house and hang out with us, that was when she still worked for the Golf Channel. I was in Damon and Joy's wedding, he is not only a good friend, but he's always been like a big brother to me.

 

I'm sure Damon will have no trouble picking up another bag, but the last few times I talked to him he had mentioned that it might be time for me him to move on from caddying for Zack, so while it might be a shock to him for actually to be on Zack's terms, Damon was also thinking down those same lines. I remember in 2003 or so when he called me and told me that he was firing Scott Hoch and was going to start caddying for this young guy named Zack Johnson that he thought was going to do really well on the PGA Tour.... I thought he was nuts because Scott was known as the "Human ATM Machine" for how many top tens he had, but he was also getting ready to go on the Champions Tour and according to Damon Scott was getting more and more difficult to work for.

 

In regards to finances, Damon is doing just fine, he doesn't spend much money and is pretty good at investing wisely too.... he's pretty financially savvy, probably more so than some Tour Players. I actually caddied at Finals of PGA Tour School for Damon when he missed his PGA Tour card by 1 shot after bogeying his 108th and final hole, an easy par 5 where he left a 4 footer 1" short, I'll never forget it it, he turned to me and said "I better not miss this mother f**cker by a shot" and he did, he cried like a baby after that.

 

Damon is a great guy, I'm sure it will end up being a blessing in disguise in the long run for him and might even open up newer and better doors. His worse year caddying on the PGA Tour he made $300k and his best year was the year that Zack won the Masters and that year Damon made $650k, and from what I know Damon's net worth is in the $5m range from caddying and investing wisely. I'm waiting for the dust to settle before I give him a call and get the full story, but I do know that Damon mentioned to me himself within the last few months that he was thinking of moving on before this news.

 

Regardless of what that Golf magazine article says, that putt final putt that Damon missed at Q-school was 4 feet, not 2 feet..... trust me, I was there!

 

 

Wow! You haven't talked to him since being let go, and you drop this on a public forum????

 

Not sure I would want my "good friends" and "little brother" being this open with information that I may have thought to be confidential. Just sayin.

 

Agreed, not that I care at all if Damon is a drinker, but that is what this entire thread has been about, his "friend" outlines his entire financial position, but doesn't speak a word to the drinking.

.."with friends like these"....

 

Why would he stoop to the level of some of the stupid posts in this thread?

 

Seems like a pretty reasonable post - a couple of folks that actually know the guy post and they get laid into? Far too common on here.

 

Damon himself has indicated he doesn't need to work a day the rest of his life if he doesn't want to.

 

Maybe it's a Seinfeld thing and Zach beat Damon to the "ignore".

 

Still sounds like both moving on, good for them.

 

 

I should have been more specific...

 

I wouldn't want my friends outlining my specific financial situation (right down to dollar amounts) and/or my thoughts of changing players on a public forum. Those items in conversations are usually meant to remain private.

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I last talked to Damon the day before he left for Mexico the week he got sick.... Damon was my roommate when he met his current wife Joy, she used to come to the house and hang out with us, that was when she still worked for the Golf Channel. I was in Damon and Joy's wedding, he is not only a good friend, but he's always been like a big brother to me.

 

I'm sure Damon will have no trouble picking up another bag, but the last few times I talked to him he had mentioned that it might be time for me him to move on from caddying for Zack, so while it might be a shock to him for actually to be on Zack's terms, Damon was also thinking down those same lines. I remember in 2003 or so when he called me and told me that he was firing Scott Hoch and was going to start caddying for this young guy named Zack Johnson that he thought was going to do really well on the PGA Tour.... I thought he was nuts because Scott was known as the "Human ATM Machine" for how many top tens he had, but he was also getting ready to go on the Champions Tour and according to Damon Scott was getting more and more difficult to work for.

 

In regards to finances, Damon is doing just fine, he doesn't spend much money and is pretty good at investing wisely too.... he's pretty financially savvy, probably more so than some Tour Players. I actually caddied at Finals of PGA Tour School for Damon when he missed his PGA Tour card by 1 shot after bogeying his 108th and final hole, an easy par 5 where he left a 4 footer 1" short, I'll never forget it it, he turned to me and said "I better not miss this mother f**cker by a shot" and he did, he cried like a baby after that.

 

Damon is a great guy, I'm sure it will end up being a blessing in disguise in the long run for him and might even open up newer and better doors. His worse year caddying on the PGA Tour he made $300k and his best year was the year that Zack won the Masters and that year Damon made $650k, and from what I know Damon's net worth is in the $5m range from caddying and investing wisely. I'm waiting for the dust to settle before I give him a call and get the full story, but I do know that Damon mentioned to me himself within the last few months that he was thinking of moving on before this news.

 

Regardless of what that Golf magazine article says, that putt final putt that Damon missed at Q-school was 4 feet, not 2 feet..... trust me, I was there!

 

 

Wow! You haven't talked to him since being let go, and you drop this on a public forum????

 

Not sure I would want my "good friends" and "little brother" being this open with information that I may have thought to be confidential. Just sayin.

 

Agreed, not that I care at all if Damon is a drinker, but that is what this entire thread has been about, his "friend" outlines his entire financial position, but doesn't speak a word to the drinking.

.."with friends like these"....

 

Why would he stoop to the level of some of the stupid posts in this thread?

 

Seems like a pretty reasonable post - a couple of folks that actually know the guy post and they get laid into? Far too common on here.

 

Damon himself has indicated he doesn't need to work a day the rest of his life if he doesn't want to.

 

Maybe it's a Seinfeld thing and Zach beat Damon to the "ignore".

 

Still sounds like both moving on, good for them.

 

 

I should have been more specific...

 

I wouldn't want my friends outlining my specific financial situation (right down to dollar amounts) and/or my thoughts of changing players on a public forum. Those items in conversations are usually meant to remain private.

 

I agree Ozark. Speedster's post was a bit odd, Friends wouldn't post that kind of information.

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You guys sure know how to overreact. Anyone with 10 brain cells that fire in sequence could roughly figure out how much Damon was making with Zach.

 

I took Speedster's post as simply, don't cry for Damon and Joy Green, they're going to be okay, they didn't sell the farm to buy a collection of Ferrari's or anything dumb.

 

I wish both Damon and Zach the best. Hopefully the new blood will jolt ZJ into action and put to bed the speculation that he can't win with PXG in the bag. Until that happens...

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I last talked to Damon the day before he left for Mexico the week he got sick.... Damon was my roommate when he met his current wife Joy, she used to come to the house and hang out with us, that was when she still worked for the Golf Channel. I was in Damon and Joy's wedding, he is not only a good friend, but he's always been like a big brother to me.

 

I'm sure Damon will have no trouble picking up another bag, but the last few times I talked to him he had mentioned that it might be time for me him to move on from caddying for Zack, so while it might be a shock to him for actually to be on Zack's terms, Damon was also thinking down those same lines. I remember in 2003 or so when he called me and told me that he was firing Scott Hoch and was going to start caddying for this young guy named Zack Johnson that he thought was going to do really well on the PGA Tour.... I thought he was nuts because Scott was known as the "Human ATM Machine" for how many top tens he had, but he was also getting ready to go on the Champions Tour and according to Damon Scott was getting more and more difficult to work for.

 

In regards to finances, Damon is doing just fine, he doesn't spend much money and is pretty good at investing wisely too.... he's pretty financially savvy, probably more so than some Tour Players. I actually caddied at Finals of PGA Tour School for Damon when he missed his PGA Tour card by 1 shot after bogeying his 108th and final hole, an easy par 5 where he left a 4 footer 1" short, I'll never forget it it, he turned to me and said "I better not miss this mother f**cker by a shot" and he did, he cried like a baby after that.

 

Damon is a great guy, I'm sure it will end up being a blessing in disguise in the long run for him and might even open up newer and better doors. His worse year caddying on the PGA Tour he made $300k and his best year was the year that Zack won the Masters and that year Damon made $650k, and from what I know Damon's net worth is in the $5m range from caddying and investing wisely. I'm waiting for the dust to settle before I give him a call and get the full story, but I do know that Damon mentioned to me himself within the last few months that he was thinking of moving on before this news.

 

Regardless of what that Golf magazine article says, that putt final putt that Damon missed at Q-school was 4 feet, not 2 feet..... trust me, I was there!

 

 

Wow! You haven't talked to him since being let go, and you drop this on a public forum????

 

Not sure I would want my "good friends" and "little brother" being this open with information that I may have thought to be confidential. Just sayin.

 

Agreed, not that I care at all if Damon is a drinker, but that is what this entire thread has been about, his "friend" outlines his entire financial position, but doesn't speak a word to the drinking.

.."with friends like these"....

 

Why would he stoop to the level of some of the stupid posts in this thread?

 

Seems like a pretty reasonable post - a couple of folks that actually know the guy post and they get laid into? Far too common on here.

 

Damon himself has indicated he doesn't need to work a day the rest of his life if he doesn't want to.

 

Maybe it's a Seinfeld thing and Zach beat Damon to the "ignore".

 

Still sounds like both moving on, good for them.

 

 

I should have been more specific...

 

I wouldn't want my friends outlining my specific financial situation (right down to dollar amounts) and/or my thoughts of changing players on a public forum. Those items in conversations are usually meant to remain private.

 

Get where you are coming from, I guess I interpreted it more as support.

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I am always fascinated how people are interested in a golfers caddie, and are distraught when they fire them. In my opinion these guys hang on to their caddies too long in this day and age. it wasn't that many years ago when a tour player picked up a local caddie for the week for most events. The whole "show up, shut up and keep up" mantra applied. Nothing more than glorified push carts. When Jack won the US Open in 1972 at Pebble, a local gym teacher carried his bag for example, you pulled your caddies name out of a hat essentially. The skill belonged to the golfer in the US Open, there was no "we" if he did a good job he got a nice tip.

 

Now days I suppose they are some sort of psychologist for most of these guys, but still in my opinion they are the most over valued and discussed people in sports.

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The Phil /Bones and Kelly/Golf Channel splits were intense, interesting and timely.

 

Put the Damon Green split thread in June or July - it gets 12 replies.

Damon Green - the guy is from Florida. big deal.

 

LOL, the only person who made the Bones thread intense was you Ferguson, I mean seriously you made it your personal mission to defend Bones and use it to justify your extreme irrational hatred for Phil. No offense but it was all very obvious.

 

Bones seems to be doing pretty good these days, I do REALLY like him on the telecasts. Oh and Phil won this year without him on the bag.

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Ping G410 3, 5 and 7 wood
Ping G 400 4 hybrid
Ping G 4-U
Ping Glide 2.0 Stealth 54, 58 SS
Grips NDMC +4
Odyssey Pro #1 black
Hoofer
ProV1x-mostly
ECCO Biom Hybrid 3

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Show up (with your pants on), shut up (without being too hungover), keep up (without shaking from coke or booze withdrawals). :cheesy:

 

Well now youre just asking way too much.

 

I be gettin bored out there. Whats the job? Carry bag, and say,

 

"Yawn, 58 to front, 72 to the hole. Lil cut shot 8i be money?"

 

I be like hittin the flask all day and scrollin Tinder between shots.

 

That a problem?

 

; )

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I guess I should of read all the previous posts in the thread before posting..... I have no idea what Damon's exact net worth is, but I do know how much he approximately has made each year, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out if you know caddy pay scales. I'm pretty sure that my guesstimate is pretty accurate, sorry if some you conclude that guesstimating makes me a bad friend, then oh well, but Damon is a great guy that was raised in the church, not a bar... his Dad was a pasture at a church in Pensacola.

 

I do know two things for sure though, Damon is frugal and is definitely not a drinker. My whole point of my post was that Damon is set for life and will be fine if he retires.

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I guess I should of read all the previous posts in the thread before posting..... I have no idea what Damon’s exact net worth is, but I do know how much he approximately has made each year, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out if you know caddy pay scales. I’m pretty sure that my guesstimate is pretty accurate, sorry if guesstimating makes me a bad friend.

 

I do know two thing though, Damon is frugal and is definitely not a drinker. My whole point of my post was that Damon is set for life and will be fine if he retires.

 

Lucky you didn't read them all! Some pretty dumb stuff spouted.

 

Sure seems like he enjoys his family, can't ever be a bad thing if you are lucky enough to spend more time with them. And play a little golf.

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So I've been reading this thread and didn't want to say anything but there's been so much speculation I thought I'd just clear the air. I've known the D-man for many many years, in fact I grew up with his wife who we call J-Wow on a farm in Nebraska, I was her adopted brother. She handled the swine, I handled the beef. Anyway, a long while back long before any of us met him Zach got involved with a shady group of people who lived on an LSD commune in the woods of a town called Beaconsfield in Iowa, it was I guess one of those cult groups that did all sorts of weird stuff in cornfields. He's always been super religious since that time but the issue we've always had with him is he constantly needs blood sacrifices. It sounds nuts but basically he just wants you to give him like a pint of blood sealed up in a bag every so often, typically once every two months. Damon was the primary source and was cool about it. Then all of a sudden Zach isn't playing so well and he's asking us for blood like all the time. I'm getting text messages at like 4AM for "just one more pint, all i need bro". The next morning J-Wow was making a quiche and she nearly knocked herself out on the granite countertop because she couldn't keep her balance - I'm like what's going on? She's like he's taking it all. All of it. I knew what she was referring to. Then D-Man walks in with massive bags under his eyes and I knew immediately what was going on. Zach's appetite couldn't be satiated. He'd gone off the deep end. Damon isn't a druggy alcoholic meth addict - he's a human being living off of like 20% blood capacity. No one can carry a bag for 18 holes in that condition. Guaranteed the next caddie is a massive fellow who has endless pints to spare. It's a shame what these religious cults can do to a person, all in the name of a ball going into a little hole. I hope it was all worth it Zachary, I hope.

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So I've been reading this thread and didn't want to say anything but there's been so much speculation I thought I'd just clear the air. I've known the D-man for many many years, in fact I grew up with his wife who we call J-Wow on a farm in Nebraska, I was her adopted brother. She handled the swine, I handled the beef. Anyway, a long while back long before any of us met him Zach got involved with a shady group of people who lived on an LSD commune in the woods of a town called Beaconsfield in Iowa, it was I guess one of those cult groups that did all sorts of weird stuff in cornfields. He's always been super religious since that time but the issue we've always had with him is he constantly needs blood sacrifices. It sounds nuts but basically he just wants you to give him like a pint of blood sealed up in a bag every so often, typically once every two months. Damon was the primary source and was cool about it. Then all of a sudden Zach isn't playing so well and he's asking us for blood like all the time. I'm getting text messages at like 4AM for "just one more pint, all i need bro". The next morning J-Wow was making a quiche and she nearly knocked herself out on the granite countertop because she couldn't keep her balance - I'm like what's going on? She's like he's taking it all. All of it. I knew what she was referring to. Then D-Man walks in with massive bags under his eyes and I knew immediately what was going on. Zach's appetite couldn't be satiated. He'd gone off the deep end. Damon isn't a druggy alcoholic meth addict - he's a human being living off of like 20% blood capacity. No one can carry a bag for 18 holes in that condition. Guaranteed the next caddie is a massive fellow who has endless pints to spare. It's a shame what these religious cults can do to a person, all in the name of a ball going into a little hole. I hope it was all worth it Zachary, I hope.

This makes perfect sense and explains alot. I have a feeling there may be more to this story. Is Parsons somehow involved ?
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Spieth next?

 

Nobody wears their caddie out on the course as much as Spieth. NOBODY. If he moves on from Michael he better find someone really, really patient.

 

I'm guessing that Greller is just fine getting "worn out" by Spieth. He's a wealthy man after working for Jordan for, what, three years? He was teaching school and probably pinching pennies before taking the job of looping for YJS. I know several people who know Jordan very well and they say that he's as magnanimous as they come.

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Spieth next?

 

Nobody wears their caddie out on the course as much as Spieth. NOBODY. If he moves on from Michael he better find someone really, really patient.

 

I'm guessing that Greller is just fine getting "worn out" by Spieth. He's a wealthy man after working for Jordan for, what, three years? He was teaching school and probably pinching pennies before taking the job of looping for YJS. I know several people who know Jordan very well and they say that he's as magnanimous as they come.

 

Who wouldn't choose one whiny brat over 36 of them?

 

Greller needs a towel contract, that hand towel sees more air time than Jordan's bag.

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Spieth next?

 

Nobody wears their caddie out on the course as much as Spieth. NOBODY. If he moves on from Michael he better find someone really, really patient.

 

I'm guessing that Greller is just fine getting "worn out" by Spieth. He's a wealthy man after working for Jordan for, what, three years?

Greller/Speith have been together since 2012. A whole lot of dumb being expended in this thread.
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So I've been reading this thread and didn't want to say anything but there's been so much speculation I thought I'd just clear the air. I've known the D-man for many many years, in fact I grew up with his wife who we call J-Wow on a farm in Nebraska, I was her adopted brother. She handled the swine, I handled the beef. Anyway, a long while back long before any of us met him Zach got involved with a shady group of people who lived on an LSD commune in the woods of a town called Beaconsfield in Iowa, it was I guess one of those cult groups that did all sorts of weird stuff in cornfields. He's always been super religious since that time but the issue we've always had with him is he constantly needs blood sacrifices. It sounds nuts but basically he just wants you to give him like a pint of blood sealed up in a bag every so often, typically once every two months. Damon was the primary source and was cool about it. Then all of a sudden Zach isn't playing so well and he's asking us for blood like all the time. I'm getting text messages at like 4AM for "just one more pint, all i need bro". The next morning J-Wow was making a quiche and she nearly knocked herself out on the granite countertop because she couldn't keep her balance - I'm like what's going on? She's like he's taking it all. All of it. I knew what she was referring to. Then D-Man walks in with massive bags under his eyes and I knew immediately what was going on. Zach's appetite couldn't be satiated. He'd gone off the deep end. Damon isn't a druggy alcoholic meth addict - he's a human being living off of like 20% blood capacity. No one can carry a bag for 18 holes in that condition. Guaranteed the next caddie is a massive fellow who has endless pints to spare. It's a shame what these religious cults can do to a person, all in the name of a ball going into a little hole. I hope it was all worth it Zachary, I hope.

 

The death of a thread usually follows posts like this. It won’t be long now.

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50, 54, 60 RC Dual Bite - SteelFiber i125
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