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Hi guys,

Unsure if this is the right thread, so I apologize if it's incorrect.

Just wanted to see if anyone has been in a similar position that I'm going thru now, and how they dealt with it.

I decided to put the clubs away for a bit, cause I don't have the time (and money) to continue to play right now. I have 2 small kids (2 & 4) and my wife and I make sure we have a very active life with them. Our weekends are typically busy with adventures with the kids, and we all have a great time. That being said, the time to play golf or even hit balls is nowhere to be found. I only played 1 round last year and again, this year is looking the same. I don't want to be that guy that plays 3-4 times a year and absolutely stinks up the joint. When I played regularly, I was in the mid to low 80's and now I'd struggle to break 100.

 

So, I don't see myself playing regularly again till my kids get out of daycare and into school - about 2 years. Sucks, but that's it. I sold off my old wedges and 3wood/hybrid combo, with the idea if I play again I'll get some more updated stuff. I kept my irons as they're fairly new and custom fit (Taylormade Rsi 2).

 

Sorry again, if this is in the wrong place - just needed to vent a bit and see if anyone else has been thru something similar. I feel when I do come back playing, I'll get some proper lessons and hopefully get out and start getting that score down a bit

Mark

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I was blessed to raise my sons on my own and went about 7 years with only playing 1-2 times/year, if that. Coached them in most sports, went to every practice, recital, play, etc. Looking back, whil

Absolutely. Put the family first. When you’re an empty nester, you’ll have great memories of those years and won’t regret it.

Golf will always be there, but your kids will only be young for a little while.. I was playing my best golf (6 handicap) when my son was born, and while the wife was supportive of me playing, I didn'

When my kids were still pretty young I would make a habit of taking them out once a week for dinner and I would go to the driving range. They would sit behind me in their folding chairs and eat and I would hit balls. This was a win, win, win situation because it gave Mom a break and I got to go hit some balls. The kids enjoyed it because they got to have Wendy's for dinner. I was lucky that there is a range near me that wasn't too busy at that time and I could grab a spot away from other golfers. Many dad's would walk by me and say "What a great idea."

 

I don't want to say time with the kids isn't important, but so it time to yourself. Find a way to play one day a week. Again, I was fortunate with my work situation that I could play first thing on a weekday and get in to the office without any issues.

 

Good luck, it gets better. Both of mine are out of the house now and I can play whenever I want.

 

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My wife didn't want me to sell the stuff, but I was struggling on what to do (especially with the typical daycare bills all the time). Hopefully another year older, I can figure out a plan that works that I can take my girl to the range, and get out with her to hit some balls. A friend of mine has a son that's around the same age as my oldest, and he takes him with for a late night round per week. The son loves driving around in the golf cart, and the dad gets his 9 holes in at least

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Absolutely. Put the family first. When you’re an empty nester, you’ll have great memories of those years and won’t regret it.

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Golf will always be there, but your kids will only be young for a little while..

I was playing my best golf (6 handicap) when my son was born, and while the wife was supportive of me playing, I didn't feel "right" about leaving them for hours at a time on the weekends. So I pretty much gave up weekend golf, but I did play morning 9 hole rounds, twice a week, teeing off at 7:00 and getting in to work at 9:00.

 

When my daughter came, it was 2 little kids, so I stopped playing altogether. My wife stopped working, so $$$$ was a little tight, I abandoned all expensive hobbies so we could keep up the lifestyle, and buy diapers...

 

Now my kids are teens, don't need too much attention, and I am back to playing Sunday afternoons every week...

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> @shanx said:

> Golf will always be there, but your kids will only be young for a little while..

> I was playing my best golf (6 handicap) when my son was born, and while the wife was supportive of me playing, I didn't feel "right" about leaving them for hours at a time on the weekends. So I pretty much gave up weekend golf, but I did play morning 9 hole rounds, twice a week, teeing off at 7:00 and getting in to work at 9:00.

>

> When my daughter came, it was 2 little kids, so I stopped playing altogether. My wife stopped working, so $$$$ was a little tight, I abandoned all expensive hobbies so we could keep up the lifestyle, and buy diapers...

>

> Now my kids are teens, don't need too much attention, and I am back to playing Sunday afternoons every week...

 

Yea sounds like my situation. With our 2nd child, things got tight, and it's hard to tell the wife I'll be away for 4-5 hours while she takes the kids.

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That's why I only played 9 holes once a week when my kids were small. But if you can't do that family comes first.

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I took 15 years off with 3 kids born within 20 months. Money and time were at a premium, and golf was a luxury of time and money we couldn't swing.

Got back into it a few seasons ago (this is my 3rd season back) and fell in love with the game again.

Time with the kids goes by so damn quickly, I wouldn't trade the memories for the world.

That being said, I appreciate the game more now that I was away. I realize how lucky I am now to be able to play frequently, and make a point to enjoy every chance I get to be on the course.

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I'm dealing with some of the same frustrations my man. I've got a couple little ones at home and barely get out for a few rounds a year. Tried going off at six last weekend so I could get back home and still have a full day with the little ones. After hitting the turn in two and a half hours behind two foursomes I just bagged it. Will probably be the last time I go out by myself for a few years.

 

I just can't live with myself spending five hours out on the course these days. I guess some things have to take a step back. My summer weekends are now spent out camping and activities I can do with the family. I get a lot more for much less out of our science center membership than I did out of golf. That being said, I cant wait till their old enough to come to the course with their old man.

 

 

 

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I pretty much quit when my daughter was born until she was about 6. She's 10 now. Once she started going over to her friends house or to the pool all day on Saturday and Sunday, I realized I didn't need to just sit around the house all day.

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Twilight golf after reading bed time stories and putting kids to bed... Cheep. Least thats what i do and im in the EXACT same situation as you. 1 or 2 days a week this time of year this dad is in a hurry to get kids in bed ON TIME and i can usually get to the course by 7:15-7:30 and for $12 i can get 7-9 holes in. Bonus points if the course lets you take the kiddos with you. Lucky for me the muni by me is totally cool with it. Heck i saw a whole family of 6 out there tonight playing. Dad and the 2 oldest were playing while mom was pushing the babies in a stroller. Looked like the whole fam was having a blast. That man is my hero for pulling that off. I took my 3 year old out at my old course and she had the time of her life and keeps asking "Dad when can we go golfing again?" I just wasnt sure about the new courses' policy. Now i cant wait to take her!!

 

I also been debating selling all my stuff off and hanging up golf for a few years. Almost makes this grown man wanna cry thinking about the idea. OR there is the other option of building a sim in the garage... Can get a decent skytrack set up with a nice mat, archery net for screen and projector for around $4-5k. Im seriously debating downgrading my car since i dont owe anything on it and could probably get about $18k for it then buying something cheeper to not feel the financial pain of building a sim.

 

I also had a net set up in the backyard for a while till i finally put a hole in it. Least that way i was able to still go out everyday and get that satisfying feeling of ABSOLUTELY NUTTING (CPG reference for those that dont know) a few iron shots. Being able to do that helped keep the withdrawal shakes down but only left me wanting more sometimes. Kinda like what a strip club can do to ya if you dont have a hot date lined up afterwards.

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I personally never quit golf, but I can't play as much as before my 5 old son was born.

But my wife is supportive (and a 19 handicapper too) and my son loves to come with us at the GC and to ride the cart for 9/18 holes, watching mom and dad playing and hitting some shots too!

When he was really young me and my wife played pushing the stroller, I can't wait to play full rounds with him playing and beating me.

 

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I feel you OP.. I have 2 girls that are exactly 2 and 4 years old in a few weeks and it’s not easy.

But, At least we get some good sleep compared to last year right lol?

 

I worked out a deal with my wife, 3 weekends a month at the crack of dawn... I tee off at 5:20am (glow ball first 2 holes) and I’m done by 8:30 to 9 and home by 9 - 9:20... then, full family day and I am purposely in great dad mode no matter how tired I am.

 

I play at a cheaper course, tee times are like $30 to 40 at that early am time. I stop drinking Starbucks/ eating out during the weekday and eat like a prisoner in another country to pay my fees.

 

But family is always priority before work and golf.

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> @TIM929 said:

> I feel you OP.. I have 2 girls that are exactly 2 and 4 years old in a few weeks and it’s not easy.

> But, At least we get some good sleep compared to last year right lol?

>

> I worked out a deal with my wife, 3 weekends a month at the crack of dawn... I tee off at 5:20am (glow ball first 2 holes) and I’m done by 8:30 to 9 and home by 9 - 9:20... then, full family day and I am purposely in great dad mode no matter how tired I am.

>

> I play at a cheaper course, tee times are like $30 to 40 at that early am time. I stop drinking Starbucks/ eating out during the weekday and eat like a prisoner in another country to pay my fees.

>

> But family is always priority before work and golf.

 

Man, that's awesome - and I love the "eating like a prisoner"

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Man, you guys are awesome, and I really appreciate all the feedback. It's great to know other people are in a similar boat and can feel my pain lol. It's weird, cause some of the guys I used to play with are full into golf - bought the club membership, playing all the time, going on golf trips = but they're also the ones with no significant partner, no kids, etc. Plus, green fees are not too cheap in my neck of the woods (Newfoundland) and to make things more difficult, we kinda have a horrible playing season with the weather (June early Oct)

So - wedges, 3wood/hybrid are gone (made $300 on those). I'll still keep the irons , and like I mentioned, I'll keep them in the trunk of the car and get out to the range to satisfy the feeling of hitting some balls. I also found out there's no dedicated spot here that can actually custom fit irons/woods with Golftown leaving, so keeping the irons is a good idea.

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> @KAndyMan said:

> Twilight golf after reading bed time stories and putting kids to bed... Cheep. Least thats what i do and im in the EXACT same situation as you. 1 or 2 days a week this time of year this dad is in a hurry to get kids in bed ON TIME and i can usually get to the course by 7:15-7:30 and for $12 i can get 7-9 holes in. Bonus points if the course lets you take the kiddos with you. Lucky for me the muni by me is totally cool with it. Heck i saw a whole family of 6 out there tonight playing. Dad and the 2 oldest were playing while mom was pushing the babies in a stroller. Looked like the whole fam was having a blast. That man is my hero for pulling that off. I took my 3 year old out at my old course and she had the time of her life and keeps asking "Dad when can we go golfing again?" I just wasnt sure about the new courses' policy. Now i cant wait to take her!!

>

> I also been debating selling all my stuff off and hanging up golf for a few years. Almost makes this grown man wanna cry thinking about the idea. OR there is the other option of building a sim in the garage... Can get a decent skytrack set up with a nice mat, archery net for screen and projector for around $4-5k. Im seriously debating downgrading my car since i dont owe anything on it and could probably get about $18k for it then buying something cheeper to not feel the financial pain of building a sim.

>

> I also had a net set up in the backyard for a while till i finally put a hole in it. Least that way i was able to still go out everyday and get that satisfying feeling of ABSOLUTELY NUTTING (CPG reference for those that dont know) a few iron shots. Being able to do that helped keep the withdrawal shakes down but only left me wanting more sometimes. Kinda like what a strip club can do to ya if you dont have a hot date lined up afterwards.

 

Man, love the idea of a SIM in the garage. I used to always think about what it would take to put something in like that.

Congrats on grinding and getting out to the course after bed-time.

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The only thing I can really offer up is that both you and your wife need some "me" time. You take the kids a few hours a week so she can get out and just be her and not Mom/wife and you should get the same in return. Even if it's only 9 holes you should be able to get out once a week to recharge the brain.

 

Can't help much on the money thing, it's easy to say you can make it work if you budget but I know plenty of families right now that are just scraping by even being financially responsible. Kids aren't cheap, especially when they start getting into activities. 9 hole rounds might help and once in a while you can find those awesome golfnow hot deals.

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A couple hard-earned life lessons on my side.

 

As a parent you are not responsible to entertain your child every second of the day. Boredom Is an important incubator for imagination and creativity in children. Although I did many activities with my parents as a child my most cherished memories growing up were when my mom would say in the summer time just be home when the streetlights turn on. ( obviously your children are too young for this at the moment )

 

The most important lesson I learned though was if you sacrifice your happiness for others both your wife and your children will see that you are living a life with less passion. It’s important for you to show your children and your wife that you have passions hobbies and pursuits. A life dedicated to serving others is a life of servitude.

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I've definitely been there, probably about the same age as you. With it now many years behind me I can tell you what a brief, important chapter of your life it is, and how important it is to give everything you have to it. People talk about "how fast those years go" because they really do. It's a tiny blip, but the most important thing you'll do in your life!

 

And you'll absolutely find time to hit a bucket or get out and play here and there, just not play all the time. I can also share from personal experience that what you really don't want to do is think in black and white, kind of self-pitying terms and say things things like "if I can't play every week I don't want to play," (about golf or any of the many other things that you have less time for). I've done that, and think most parents have at one time or another. Your life balance and values really have changed, but it's still your one life, like right now, every day, so don't try to prove any points by throwing the bathwater out with the baby (see what I did there? Lol)...just adapt and do what you can, always keeping the family first.

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> @Gautama said:

> I've definitely been there, probably about the same age as you. With it now many heads behind me I can tell you what a brief, important chapter of your life it is, and how important it is to give everything you have to it. People talk about "how fast those years go" because they really do. It's a tiny blip, but the most important thing you'll do in your life!

>

> And you'll absolutely find time to hit a bucket or get out and play here and there, just not play all the time. I can also share from personal experience is that what you really don't want to do is think in black and white, kind of self-pitying terms and say things things like "if I can't play every week I don't want to play," (about golf or any of the many other things that you have less time for). You're life balance and values really have changed, but it's still your one life, like right now, every day, so don't try to prove any points by throwing the bathwater out with the baby (see what I did there? Lol)...just adapt and do what you can, always keeping the family first.

 

Thanks for the post - the black/white is really true. I'm in mindset now that if I can't get a consistent round in, then I don't want to go out and hack around the course. Maybe with a full year gone (and my oldest heading to school in September), I can re-focus and get back to finding a bit of time here and there

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Absolutely, take the time off. I took 12 years. Did my game suffer? You bet! But being a good husband/dad is infinitely more important than a good golfer. For some golf is a family activity that doesn't require sacrificing one for the other, but I can guarantee that ANYONE who desires to be a committed, supporting, present parent/spouse is sacrificing some things along the way. For me it needed to be golf. It was the right decision and I don't regret it for a moment. Best thing is, I spent so much time over the last 15 years with my family, now my wife can't wait to get me out of the house to go golfing! :p

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I get far less sleep than i need, thats my sacrifice. but im lucky to be able to sneak out of the house at 530, play at the course where i am a member (unlimited golf, and i can just hop out there and play a few holes without having to go to the clubhouse). Walk 5 holes or so, takes about 45 minutes, im done in time to get back and deal with everyone just then waking up for the day. Lots of yawns by the end of the day, but im pretty good at catching up on the weekends. Im able to play about 3-4 times a week doing it this way!

As others have said, the sacrifice, whether sleep or golf or personal time or what have you, is definitely worth it. I love being the best golfer in my group, best dad i can be. Ill sleep when i die :)

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> @marksquires said:

> Man, you guys are awesome, and I really appreciate all the feedback. It's great to know other people are in a similar boat and can feel my pain lol. It's weird, cause some of the guys I used to play with are full into golf - bought the club membership, playing all the time, going on golf trips = but they're also the ones with no significant partner, no kids, etc. Plus, green fees are not too cheap in my neck of the woods (Newfoundland) and to make things more difficult, we kinda have a horrible playing season with the weather (June early Oct)

> So - wedges, 3wood/hybrid are gone (made $300 on those). I'll still keep the irons , and like I mentioned, I'll keep them in the trunk of the car and get out to the range to satisfy the feeling of hitting some balls. I also found out there's no dedicated spot here that can actually custom fit irons/woods with Golftown leaving, so keeping the irons is a good idea.

 

by the way, im in new brunswick right now. I play in a rain jacket, pants, and waterproof hiking shoes. a little rain is nothing. plus with how bad the misquitos have been with the humidity, i wear that stuff on dry days too. has surprisingly helped my game a ton, its like taking off a suit of armor when i play in nice weather with regular clothing.

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Same deal here, and I couldn’t be happier about it. About 4 years ago I made a commitment to playing and practicing more with the intent of playing am golf again. About 3 years and 10 months ago I hurt my right foot very badly and at times could barely walk. Shortly after that my wife was pregnant and I haven’t played but maybe 10 rounds since, 3 in the last year. Our son is 2 1/2 and I have so much fun with him I don’t even think about playing golf. I still watch on tv sometimes and enjoy this board greatly, but for now playing is meaningless to me. It doesn’t look

Like a return to any sort of tournament golf is realistic so another year or whatever of not playing isn’t hurting anything. The days at the zoo, in the pool, at the aquarium, playing cars, looking at trucks, seeing T. rex at the dino place, weekend trips to wherever with him are way more fun than golf ever was. Enjoy your kiddo time, golf will be fine again soon enough. It’s not like you were going to be on tour or make the field at the us am anyway. You aren’t missing anything on the golf course, are you really going to regret not shooting a bunch of 84’s on a golfnow hot rate with 3 guys you don’t know?

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> @marksquires said:

> on a side note, when I do come back and play, I really want to smoke the few guys I played with in the past that said "you're making a bad decision" and "you'll regret it" "and "I know lots of guys with kids that golf". These are same guys with no kids, no GF/wife's and have all the time in the world to play lol

 

Well, I don't think anyone is justified in saying it's a "bad decision" to prioritize family over golf. That's pretty callous. And unless you're making money with your golf game, I don't see much to really "regret" about taking a couple years off. Odds are you'll sneak in a round or two anyhow. I just don't see how taking a couple years off would matter in the grand scheme of things.

 

That said, most of my golf buddies have kids. Every one of them is constrained to a some degree because of that fact, but playing golf can still be on the table if the situation is right. If the wife understands that helps. If parents are around to help out every once in awhile, that goes a long way. If you love golf enough to push hard and make the time, that means a lot.

 

Truth is there's probably always going to be a reason to give up golf from here on out. First, it's the baby and everything that comes with that. Then it's constantly having to do family stuff (i.e. weekend trips, relatives, vacations, etc.). Then it's the kids' activities taking priority. And when it's not that, it's work that gets in the way. Then one day you wake up and you're not young anymore. Truth is, you have to make time for any personal thing. Golf is not all that different.

 

All I'm saying is, don't expect to wake up in 2-3 years and all of a sudden have a ton of time. It's probably not going to happen like that. You'd do better simply accepting a limited schedule, I think. There might be months where you don't get to think about touching a club. There might be months where to play 2-3 times. Based on seeing how it is for my friends, it varies.

 

You're probably better off just rolling with it.

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> @MelloYello said:

> > @marksquires said:

> > on a side note, when I do come back and play, I really want to smoke the few guys I played with in the past that said "you're making a bad decision" and "you'll regret it" "and "I know lots of guys with kids that golf". These are same guys with no kids, no GF/wife's and have all the time in the world to play lol

>

> Well, I don't think anyone is justified in saying it's a "bad decision" to prioritize family over golf. That's pretty callous. And unless you're making money with your golf game, I don't see much to really "regret" about taking a couple years off. Odds are you'll sneak in a round or two anyhow. I just don't see how taking a couple years off would matter in the grand scheme of things.

>

> That said, most of my golf buddies have kids. Every one of them is constrained to a some degree because of that fact, but playing golf can still be on the table if the situation is right. If the wife understands that helps. If parents are around to help out every once in awhile, that goes a long way. If you love golf enough to push hard and make the time, that means a lot.

>

> Truth is there's probably always going to be a reason to give up golf from here on out. First, it's the baby and everything that comes with that. Then it's constantly having to do family stuff (i.e. weekend trips, relatives, vacations, etc.). Then it's the kids' activities taking priority. And when it's not that, it's work that gets in the way. Then one day you wake up and you're not young anymore. Truth is, you have to make time for any personal thing. Golf is not all that different.

>

> All I'm saying is, don't expect to wake up in 2-3 years and all of a sudden have a ton of time. It's probably not going to happen like that. You'd do better simply accepting a limited schedule, I think. There might be months where you don't get to think about touching a club. There might be months where to play 2-3 times. Based on seeing how it is for my friends, it varies.

>

> You're probably better off just rolling with it.

 

Thanks - and I really appreciate the feedback. It's great to hear from people in a similar situation, and to provide some insight. Most of the guys I've golfed with in the past, are in a total different space in life, and they really don't understand the time constraints with a young family - that being said, I wouldn't change it for the world

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      Bettinardi putters and covers - 2021 3M Open
      Kuch putting right armlock - 2021 3M Open
       
       
       
       
       
       
      • 12 replies
    • 2021 TPC Colorado Champ. @ Heron Lakes WITB Photos- Discussion & Links
      Please put any questions or comments here...
       
      2021 TPC Colorado Championship @ Heron Lakes - Tuesday #1
      2021 TPC Colorado Championship @ Heron Lakes - Tuesday #2
      2021 TPC Colorado Championship @ Heron Lakes - Tuesday #3
      2021 TPC Colorado Championship @ Heron Lakes - Tuesday #4
      2021 TPC Colorado Championship @ Heron Lakes - Tuesday #5
      2021 TPC Colorado Championship @ Heron Lakes - Tuesday #6
      2021 TPC Colorado Championship @ Heron Lakes - Tuesday #7
       
      Titleist T200 2& 3 irons - 2021 TPC Colorado Championship @ Heron Lakes
       

       

       
      • 16 replies
    • 2021 Rocket Mortgage Classic WITB Photos- Discussion and Links
      Please put any questions or comments here.
       
      2021 Rocket Mortgage Classic - Monday #1
      2021 Rocket Mortgage Classic - Monday #2
      2021 Rocket Mortgage Classic - Monday #3
      2021 Rocket Mortgage Classic - Monday #4
      2021 Rocket Mortgage Classic - Monday #5
       
      Cameron putters - 2021 Rocket Mortgage Classic
       

       
       
       
       
      • 15 replies
    • 2021 Travelers Championship - Discussion & Links
      2021 Titleist T100 irons (in hand photos) - Travelers Championship
      2021 Titleist T100S irons (in hand photos) - Travelers Championship
      2021 Titleist U 505 (in hand photos) - Travelers Championship
      Mitsubishi Tensei K series (red, white & blue US Open) shaft - 2021 Travelers Championship
       
      Rickie Fowler's custom Cameron putters - 2021 Travelers Championship
      Scotty Cameron putters - 2021 Travelers Championship
       
      2021 Travelers Championship - Tuesday #1
      2021 Travelers Championship - Tuesday #2
       
      • 20 replies
    • Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Discussion and Links
      Please put any question or comments here.
       
      Links to the galleries...
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #1
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #2
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #3
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #4
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #5
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #6
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #7
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #8
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #9
       
      Adam Svensson with new model of Puma golf shoes - 2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry)
       


       
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #1
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #2
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #3
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #4
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #5
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #6
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #7
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #8
      2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry) - Tuesday #9
       
      Adam Svensson with new model of Puma golf shoes - 2021 Wichita Open (Korn Ferry)
       

       
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      • 4 replies

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