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Advice on introducing golf to wife

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I used to play a fair amount years ago and there were a handful of couples I'd run across while I was playing solo and I'd end up joining them either on the first tee or when I caught up to them. The couples I ran into always had fun together even if their games were different.


My wife doesn't golf and isn't a fan of the game. We recently relocated and will be joining the course near us at some point. The membership covers the entire family, they don't offer separate solo memberships. She has said she'd try it at some point. I've told her about the couples that I have seen playing together and how they seemed to have fun together and how it'd be awesome if we could golf together. This would be a great chance for us to spend time together doing something outdoors. We already have a number of mutual hobbies, so this would just add a new one to the list.


Do any of you have advice on how you got someone new into the game? My thought is to get her on the range and show her the basics. I can also show her the basics of chipping. I think she would enjoy practicing together and I can see her getting excited by her own progress as well. There's a chance she just won't like it and I'm fine with that. I'd just like that not to happen for an avoidable reason.


Additional background.

I took up the game in my 30s and am not a natural talent. It took me a long time to get to be an okay golfer that could break 90. Many lessons and hours practicing. So I know the basics but am not a pro. I can show her the basics on the range but am leery of doing much more than that myself. I'm no expert and I know it.


I don't care what other people I play with shoot or if they even follow the rules. I'm fairly laid back in that regard. I do care about pace of play though. The course does seem to have dead periods where we could play and not feel rushed. I also have mentioned that we could do a scramble format, etc, if/when she's ready to try things on the course. I don't want her to get discouraged, if she does find it to be fun.


She's 5'9, so could probably use my cavity back irons which have R flex shafts initially. I already have a second set of irons I could use. If she does like the game, then we'd probably look into her own set of clubs etc.


Thanks for your time.

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If you really want her to like golf buy a set of inexpensive clubs that fit her and get her an instructor. Once she learns the basics she can learn more by joining a woman's league. "WARNING" Do NOT

I love to play golf with my wife - - and I taught her how to play. We both like to hike, so a big part of golf for us is to walk the course and just enjoy being outside in the (hopefully) nice weather. I think the key for us/her was to go to the range first and get her flying the ball in the air. I did this mostly by example of showing how I did it for a couple of shots and then let her try to do the same on her own. I tried to keep it as "natural" and non-technical as possible. The two things that are hardest for her are: 1) pace of play - she hates having to rush shots - so we only play when I know we can take our time, and 2) chipping - this is what's taken the longest to get competent at - - so I focused on trying to have her hit good chip shots, but not worry about the result - - that is, once again, demonstrating how to get the chips airborne and not fat or skulled - - but without worrying about distance control (which takes a loooong time to get). Anyway, the bottom line is that I try to make it, with a nod towards Mark Twain: "a good walk not spoiled".

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I introduced my wife by joining her in a series of very low key beginner group lessons put on by the county. I didn't learn anything but it was quite fun.


Then we played almost exclusively a very shore PAR 3 course.


Now she only plays about once every 2 or 3 years when we go to Kauai and play 9 holes for $9 at the Kukuiolono golf course. She hits a tee shot, tees it up in the fairway to hit her approach, picks up and when I get to the green she drops her ball and hits 2 putts, picks up made or not. She scores quite well that way and pace is fast. It's about the ocean views for her.


If she struggles I will only give a simple suggestion like stand closer to the ball if she's hitting off the toe. Her swing is very simple and solid so not much to do there.


One time we got paired with a couple guys that were coaches of a High school girls team. They told me they wished they had some girls that could hit like my lady, I don't think they were just being nice.

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No issues with getting the wife into golf... Just not MY wife.


She was forced to play as a child in Ireland and hated every second of it. Only time she came out with me, we met my parents in Myrtle Beach and she only came along because I told her she could drive the cart. She brought a book and would read between drives to various balls.

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If you really want her to like golf buy a set of inexpensive clubs that fit her and get her an instructor. Once she learns the basics she can learn more by joining a woman's league. "WARNING" Do NOT attempt to teach her 99.9% of the time it will backfire. My wife loves the game and plays to a 12 and I play to 2-5 depending on the time of year.


PS, yesterday at the range I watched a father attempt to teach his son the basics. Not a good way to try and save money. Bad advice and TOO much instruction. I am sure he thought it was correct too.


Also, when my wife took up the game she was fitted with women's shafts. Turns out they were wrong for her. Titleist fitted her into men's senior shafts which she's still playing today.

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Start slow. Head to the range and just let her swing a club a time or two. If it's something she feels like she could enjoy from there, get some very basic lessons for her, at least get her the basics. Keep up the range time until she is feeling comfortable enough to move to the course. In the past, I have pushed playing a little too hard with a significant other, but with my current, it has been a very slow process, letting her do her thing and dictate what she is comfortable with. We now play together maybe 2 times a month, while I play maybe 4 times a week. She will sometimes head to the range at our club and hit some balls, some putts, whatever, while I am playing and we grab some food or a drink after. The more she enjoys herself, the more likely you are to have it continue.

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awesome idea. at the end of the day , no one has your back like your spouse. Figuratively et al

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This is exactly what I was looking for and at least my thoughts are too far off base. I'd have posted this in the ladies section but it seems to be a ghost town.


Regarding learning - She can get lessons if she wants and there is a ladies golf clinic in the spring as well. I don't see that being an issue provided she wants to go down the path and likes the pro. The most I feel comfortable with would be some initial basics during the first range session or two to get her started. Of course if she comes to me with a question or looking for advice, I'll do my best to answer.


Playing - would be when she's ready for it and wants to. We should be able to find times to play when the course is slower. I figure we can find ways for her to have fun and hit balls. Don't worry about the score, etc.


Clubs - This is interesting. I'd definitely suggest she get her own clubs and have them fitted if she likes it enough to hit balls on the range. I personally have no problem with getting the clubs sooner not later, but she's the thrifty type. I can see her possibly not wanting to get a set of clubs, even cheap ones, just to have them gather dust if she decides hitting golf balls isn't fun. I'll start researching clubs for her though. I know poorly matched clubs can make life difficult. I can ask the club pro what he thinks when the time comes as well. Maybe he has something we could use on the range. I assume they do not have loaner clubs since it's a private course but I have no clue about such things..


Many thanks.

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Pay for lessons.


I’m getting my wife back into golf, we used to play together pre-kids. She is a natural athlete and with time will probably be beating me.


Keep it simple and fun, no need to keep score or play by the rules as she is picking it up. Move her ball and give her a decent shot no matter where she ends up, this will keep her engaged.


We got paired up this summer with a couple in a similar situation, the guy was over teaching and his wife started crying and they left after a few holes. Not a good way to pull your wife into the sport.


Oh and pack a few adult beverages for the round, you will need them.

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There are women's clubs.....nice ones too....all over Facebook marketplace that you could hook her up with for less than the cost of one slightly used driver on the BST. My wife is not an avid golfer, but she has hung out with me and watched enough on TV to know that Ping is a big name in clubs. Found a set of Ping ladies clubs for $75 and a nice Ping bag.....bought her a dozen pink softflis and she was excited to go. I showed her how to hold the club and took her to the course. We have been out several times since then so I can be of some assistance here.


First....don't play more than 9 holes. It's tough to remember that she isn't as excited as you are to play and its tiring if you aren't used to it. Second....giving little pointers is fine but don't try to drill it home. She probably doesn't care that much yet. Third....Rules only matter if there is something riding on it. If she wants to skip a hole or pick up after a couple shots, don't stop her. Ball didn't quite make it to the fairway.....pick it up and move it up if she wants. When she decides that she wants to be there for herself and not just to make you happy, the rest will take care of itself.


Also, try a scramble with her. I am not sure why, but we tried playing 9 holes taking the best shot and her game improved drastically after the first hole. I wasn't sure if it was because she wanted her shots to matter too or if she gained confidence by having "TEAM" success, but the results were great and she had fun....and honestly, I had a good time too.

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I got my wife playing last year. She went a few times and rode in the cart with me, and when she expressed interest in playing, I bought her some clubs. I showed her some basics that she basically ignores, but she still plays and has fun. Her swing isn’t great, and if she hits a driver 150 she smashed it. We don’t keep her score, but if we did, I’m sure it would be in the 150 ballpark given the whiffs/chunks/water balls. We play at least one, usually 2-3, rounds per week and we usually play in right around 3 hours.


I’ve played golf all over the country, played for years, played competitively, played with people from all over the world, and I’ve never enjoyed golf as much as I do now that my wife plays.


My advice would be to show her what you know to be the basics (grip, stance, alignment). Let her make her swing as she feels comfortable doing. Don’t try to correct her unless she asks for help, and just have fun. As someone else mentioned, if she gets into a funky lie, encourage her to move it. If she wants to pick up, let her, but never suggest she pick up. Just have fun and enjoy her company.

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Also, see if she would like to play with a ladies' group. My wife and I play 98% of the time together, but she also enjoys the ladies group at our club, with near-40-HC'ers all the way down to 10-HC (my wife is an 18 HC). And she will even say, I played with so-and-so and she's not that great, but she's fun and we move along. So sometimes it's low-key golf for her to play with the ladies whereas she knows I'm more bent on hitting great shots (I don't care if I blade a fairway shot 200 yards and ends up on the green, it's not the way I intended it to go and I'm not thrilled about it).

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I remember long ago playing with (uh, getting stuck with...) a guy who was trying to teach his wife. It was a miserable day. He was a hacker and she was as frustrated as everyone else listening to him go on and on, teaching her to be a hacker too.


I had enough after the 12th or 13th hole. After another long lesson on the tee, I asked him to just stop. I asked him if his wife wanted to learn to fly, would he teach her? He said he wouldn’t because he wasn’t a pilot.


I told him he wasn’t a golfer either. Just get her some lessons and himself, while he was at it.


I know it was a jerk thing to say, but was true. Get her some lessons. Why does every guy think he can teach his wife golf?

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If you are going to give her advice other than the basics of grip and posture have her hitting balls with the 9 to 3 swing. I see a lot of high handicap ladies with a big overswing because they think it's needed to hit the ball because they lack strength. The shorter backswing in this drill should get her to make decent contact quicker. Distance isn't important at first.

She can always pick up and play from your tee shot if she wishes.

Good luck.

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I can’t imagine. No way. I’d love for my wife to play. But I couldn’t teach her.


We communicate super well ( married 18 years ) on anything except technical issues. I’m extremely mechanical minded. And she’s all “ you know. The counter top with the brown color and the little whirly things “. Translation “ the counter top with the quarter sawn oak , which also happens to be cut with a circular saw 100 years ago “. Said after we had looked at 100 wooden counter top pictures that day. Omg , I just stop talking at some point and say “ show me a picture “.


No way In hell I could explain what I do in a golf swing to her. And in her defense. It’s because I “ just do “ a lot of it. Wasn’t taught , I just do it. Found that out teaching my 11 year old boy. The difference there is that he’s visual learner like most males and if I shut up long enough , he’d just copy me. And that works.


So yes. If she wants to play , get her an instructor. And then stay out of it.


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Lol, I must have a typo or didn't write clearly. I have no plans to actually teach her. I know that would most likely be a big mistake. I recall reading that advice here probably 10 years ago. The most I'd do is basic stuff like grip and stance if we went to the range. Maybe show her the basics of chipping. The good news is most of the replies confirmed this. If she asks questions or wants my feedback/thoughts, then I will offer them at that time. Of course it could very well be, 'I think you need to talk to your teacher about that...'


Highlighting that it should be at her pace has been helpful as well. We'll probably talk about it again in the spring, the nicer weather would help. She loves to plan, so I'm sure when we discuss it we'll have a basic framework of how she would like to proceed. Lesson(s) before we go to the range or when she'd like to look at clubs, that kind of stuff. I want her to drive things and I'm just along for the ride and being supportive.


She like driving golf carts. We found that out last year when we came down here and took a tour of the course(s) to see if this was an area we wanted to relocate to. So I can get her on the course with me with a cart and let her drive even if she isn't playing.


The only additional cost for her to play a round would be the cart fee, since I am a walker(assuming she wants to ride). So it's perfectly fine if she just wants to play a hole or two or whatever. There is no pressure of 'but we paid $$$ to play 9' if she just feels like three holes is enough for today.


I hope this works out because it would give us another hobby together, and it makes it easier to get on the course more in theory. If it doesn't work out, that's fine too, I just don't want it to be because of something that could have been easily avoided.

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My club has regularly scheduled couples events. We have the Friday night two ball and events on most holidays. They are low stress, usually a best ball alternating guys hit, pick the best shot, then the gals hit, etc. Some couples want to be competitive, but most just play for fun. They are nice social events that happen to revolve around golf.


My wife started out playing in the couples events, then started playing in the ladies league and with me on occasion.

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They have to get the "bug" or love the game like we do, or else it will be an endless frustration to them. Truth is, many people are just not good golfers. But if she is athletic and puts the time in, she will probably come around to loving it. I'm trying to get my wife into the game, she enjoys it for the most part, but I get the sense that the desire is just not there.

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Since you recently relocated, In figure that I'd throw this in. Shortly before my parents retired and moved away, my mother started looking for ways that she could easily meet new people. Prior to retiring, she was a gymnastics coach/judge and dance teacher. Many of her friends were parents of the kids that she taught / coached. So, prior to retirement, she was used to having friends who were typically younger than she was. With that going away, she needed a new plan. She started taking golf lessons about a year before they retired and joined some of the women's groups at the club at which my father had played for 20 years. She quickly learned that the better she played, the more women wanted to play with her. So, she made it her mission to play as well as possible.


When they moved, one of the first things that she did was to go down to the pro shop at the club that was part of her community and got to know the teaching pros. She got very lucky to find that a Golf Digest Top 50 teaching pro (a woman) was working at her club for a year while a golf resort, where she was going to run a golf school, was being built locally. She became friendly with and took lessons from this instructor and her business partner (who had played for a short time in the LPGA and was also a teaching pro). Her game continued to improve and she continued to meet people on the course.


Once the golf school opened, she would go there and help out a couple days a week as the golf school / pro shop (wherever they needed help that day) and started meeting even more people with whom she became friends.


Golf ended up being a great way for my mother to meet a wide range of new friends after relocating in a new state.

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