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Discouraged and Dismayed


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Some days I get very discouraged. Today is one of those days.

I play and practice daily. I did all winter, sometimes in the worst weather. Not just beating balls, either. I do drills; I experiment with clubs. I read; I study; I video; I consult my instructor; I drill; I play. You name it, I've done it. Yet, I haven't played a solid round in probably 9 months. I now stand over the ball with zero confidence.

The pattern is the same. In an average week, I play one semi-decent round which offers a level of encouragement. I play 6 others that outright stink. I see my coach/instructor on Sunday, and he gives me something to do. I do it 'correctly' a couple of times, and he sends me off to practice more. I do. Then, I play one semi-decent round and 6 more stinkers. How bad do they stink? I was 5 over after 4 holes yesterday. I almost ran out of balls. I threw the last one in the lake and walked off the course.

After the round, I go to the range and try to find something...anything that will allow me to go home in a more upbeat mood. After I start hitting the ball somewhat solid, I take a video. When I return home and look at it, I'm horrified. All the usual problems are still there. They never change. They haven't changed in years. It wouldn't matter if Monte or iTeach were standing next to me. I'm still me. I appear incapable of making fundamental swing improvements. What feels comfortable and natural no longer works. What looks somewhat better on video works even worse. In fact, video-optimized swings are nearly always terrible.

On the course, exactly the same shot procedure and feel produces wildly different results. I've lost my feel for where the ball is going. I send a ball down the middle one minute and flare the next one off into someone's backyard the next. The flares are killing me. They come from nowhere, yet the swings felt the same. Two months ago, it was hooks.

Golf isn't fun anymore. It hasn't been for a long time. Without any positive reinforcement, it's a job I'm starting to hate. When I wake up in the morning, I dread the thought of going to the course. When I finish playing, I'm relived that it's over.

I'm very depressed with constant failure, and it's poisoning the rest of my life. I'm growing intolerably angry. I'm afraid to play with other people, because I fear my temper. I don't want to be an a-hole, but I frequently am. When I hit a good shot I literally feel nothing. There's no joy or pride of accomplishment; the result was just luck. When I hit a bad one, I feel an inner rage that I can barely control. Golf for me now is almost entirely directed at controlling my negative emotions. It's like hitting myself with a hammer and trying not to react to the pain.

Sorry for the rant. I'm just lost and very, very alone.

 

 

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I play in a group of about 40 guys ranging in age from 60 to 80 years old ( maximum hcp 14, majority single digit). Some of us work really hard on our game, some of us not very much. We all play virtu

I’ve been there. Honestly the best advice for me was to take some time off. Get back to appreciating things other than golf. And when the time was right I started playing again.

Identify one swing thought that tends to help you get a decent trigger and swing some of the time. Not all the time, not foolproof, just something you can build from.Find the easiest/widest/most forg

I’ve been there. Honestly the best advice for me was to take some time off. Get back to appreciating things other than golf. And when the time was right I started playing again.

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Bud....way over thinking this. Golf, unless you are playing in serious competition is for fun. Have a beer and go have fun. I used to be good so it gets frustrating for me at times when I can’t play like I know I used to be able to. I have learned to have fun. Enjoy being outside with friends and appreciate the good shots I hit.

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Make a change, you’re in a repeating cycle of failure ... and it’s wearing you out

 

take a break As well

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@MountainGoat Hey buddy been there a thousand times I'm afraid to say - regarding playing well on range and then falling apart on the course. This doesn't mean that I haven't had good days and good rounds, I was once a 7.8 from the farthest back tees, however consistency has been my Achilles heel.
I have come to the conclusion that my nature is the need to understand my swing sequence better in order that I don't let a couple of bad swings completely destroy my swing confidence, and thus my swing and my round. To that end I have been researching swings and technique, like many golfers I expect, and have come to the conclusion that Manuel De La Torres is where I want to be albeit with a little bit more techincal understanding of the takeaway, which to that end I have been copying Hogans method of pronating the left hand to start the swing to line the thumb, the back of the left hand and the club straight back and then go with a more or less linear motion straight back from there. It's not a difficult methodology and coupled with MLDT's emphasis on fluidity and staying relaxed this two part swing can be done as if it were natural. One final point -just like Hogan the right shoulder and arm need to remain forward in front of the body so the right hand can go right down at the ball on the downswing. Best of luck.

 

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Identify one swing thought that tends to help you get a decent trigger and swing some of the time. Not all the time, not foolproof, just something you can build from.Find the easiest/widest/most forgiving course in your area.Play only that course for a year. If you're invited to play elsewhere or have to leave your new "home course"; try your best to get out of it. But if you must, then take 1/2 the clubs out of your bag, play the white tees and walk. Buy a beer at the turn.Do not practice in between rounds except around the greens inside 30 yards and putting. NO banging a large bucket. For a year.Slow motion swings at home and maybe 3/4 speed; goal is to stay limber, feel connected to a club.Unless you like the tour talk forum, stay off this site for a year, no YouTube golf tips, no magazines, and especially not this forum.See you in a year!

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You play six or seven rounds a week?

That’s a blessed life! Enjoy!

Honestly, though. Your movement pattern is going to fall back on “ingrained code” until you build a new pattern. That takes time, and the mental stress of target focus will make you revert. It’s just the brain’s way of solving complicated problems in the most efficient means possible. It will “go with what it knows.”

Take some time to hit the range and JUST the range. Be consistent with video, and I mean sometimes every swing. Check and see differences from adjustments.

Hell, that’s what Gankas does at lessons. He’s got each swing on video. He wants you to feel something and then he’ll drill you into that move. Video. Analyze. Now do this.

Once he gets the change, and you can do it, he gets on you to take accountability for that change and work those drills, taking constant video to make sure you’re not veering off.

I’ll tell you, it’s easy to veer off.

 

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"All the usual problems are still there. They never change. They haven't changed in years. It wouldn't matter if Monte or iTeach were standing next to me"

 

And who's fault is that? It's pretty clear from your posts you are very stubborn and don't listen to either of them anyway (and at times down right argue). In order to make a change you need to be open and willing to make a change in the first place, which largely starts with listening. If you have a fundamental flaw that leads to inconsistency, no amount of digging in the dirt is going to change that.

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throw the camera away. You said it yourself, when you start playing good, you take a video, look at the video, get horrified, and change things for the worse.

 

Excuse me, are you playing golf or playing swing? Throw the GD camera in the lake next time.

 

Watch this aborted goat of a swing and tell me what you think this man's hdcp is...

 

 

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You sound exactly like me about 10-12 years ago. That's when I discovered the secret to happiness playing golf. I quit worrying about what I shot and started to just enjoy playing. I just finally figured out that no matter how low my handicap got I was always going to want it to be lower. It was maddening. If I had a bad round I was a miserable s.o.b. for 3 days. Just quit being so hard on yourself. It's a game that no one has ever conquered.

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U obviously love golf. Honestly I believe what's been happening to you is the best thing that' has ever happened to you bc right now u are in a position to read this and actually try.

U literally have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Do this. Take 5 golf balls and throw them at ur golf bag or a pillow or whatever is in front of you. Now take a club and concentrate on throwing the ball but with a club in your hands instead. Pick the same target and imagine you are throwing with the club in your hand at the same target you threw balls at. Believe me.

Take your throw and get it to the ground with the club, once you get the feeling that you are throwing u will most likely have to change your setup to accommodate this throwing sensation. You will get the feeling that you list slightly towards the target, and that your right arm is going to be really coming into the ball. You will feel definitely behind the ball and probably tilted away from it. I'm not telling you how to do it, bc u need to find the right position. And it will take a week. One check point will be your right elbow, it should feel like its leading, just like when you throw, if you dont get that sensation with the club in your hands you are not taking your throw to your club

Honestly dont settle for shit golf your whole life. Take a week and try this, not only will you get out of your slump, you will be a better golfer than u ever were. This will basically be a full swing reconstruction in a minor sense, and you need this to move forward.

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I have been there. Now, when I feel those feelings of discouragement rising up I remind myself I am not a professional, that being out there isn't just about the golf, but the walking, being in a beautiful setting, socializing, etc.

I can play very well one day, and not so well the next. I realize that this is part of the game and I can either accept it or move on to something else. For me, golf is an activity where I can put in a lot of work, and not necessarily see the results I would expect from all that work. That used to be very frustrating as had I put this much time/work in any other activity I would be a lot better at it. Golf, not so much. Improvements seem to come in small increments, plateau for a while, than see some improvement to the next plateau.

I now accept what golf gives me without getting down, or being too hard on myself. If I have a bad round, I remind myself of the good shots I hit, and tell myself, "Hey, you just walked seven miles in a park like setting."

Golf will always be a journey and never a destination. Sometimes the road on that journey can get quite bumpy, other times it is like cruising a superhighway. It's simply the nature of the game. We all struggle with it, even at the professional level...Hunter Mahan and Camillo Villegas come to mind.

Most of all, take what the game gives you, and be kind to yourself.

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i’ve been there and will probably be there again soon!?

At one point I had so many things going thru my head that I couldn’t pull the trigger. To make matters worse I hold my breath when I swing so I would just my breathe the whole time I couldn’t pull the trigger..just a hot mess.

We have both been here for years so I feel I have a decent handle on where you are coming from. I’ve been on a slim slow progression with my golf swing for the past 15 years. Every time I see a old swing coach he tells me how much better my swing is from when he gave me my first lesson 15 years ago. But you know what..my old awful swing beats the crap out out of my newer better swing most days. Honestly, I wish I never had taken a lesson and I would bet you probably feel the same way.

The source of the misery of our golfing life is we are perfectionists and care about how we got there not just the outcome. The happiest golfers I know don’t care about how they got there.

The only reason I still play anymore is that I still enjoy the journey. So maybe it’s time for you to change the destination?

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Stop trying so hard! Seriously.....You need to let go to play golf well, stop being attached to an outcome and have a very short memory for the times you hit it bad. Confidence works in such a way that your subconscious mind will deliver for you the aggregate of the thoughts you have about yourself. Your whole post was pretty heavy on ....things never change, it's always the same, and on and on. Until you change your mindset about the kind of player you are, you will NOT improve. Don't introduce doubt...when someone asks you how your game is, tell them something positive, always....the more you speak in negatives, the more your mind will deliver them for you because your subconscious mind believes that is who you are. Positives, always....don't dwell on negatives, don't speak in negatives, let them go never to be heard of again. If someone asks you how your game was, speak of only the good shots. Also, remember that golf is what the ball does, not how you look doing it!

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I'd encourage you to find something else to channel your energy into. Try yoga. I'm dead serious. What you're describing does not sound healthy, mentally or physically.

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I agree with some of the above.....

First thing is that you don't play golf for a living so you need to reset your level of expectations and lower your level of competitiveness with respect to golf (even though it sounds like self competitiveness). In a nutshell....play for fun not results.

If you need a competitive itch to scratch then find something else to fill it....pickle ball, 5 K's, bass fishing, skeet shooting etc....

Do some off the wall stuff to make it fun again.....play 9 in the evening on an empty course with only 3 clubs, or play 9 with only 1/2 swings, or a worst of 2 ball scramble, or no putter, or whatever else you can think of. You have a built in excuse for a bad score and feel better about good shots you had to get creative on. Also the 'feel' creating those shots helps when you play for real.

I like the dark practice idea too. I worked at a club in HS & college and we often played after dark 'feeling' where the ball went. On par 3's we would have somebody stand next to the pin and listen for the landing. Next to the pin was the safest place! :)

 

Remember...even the pro's suck at times....Heck Spieth 4 putted last week!! His comment was he gave himself some grace & didn't get too upset with it and moved on.

 

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First, call it what it is. A slump. Step one is acknowledging it. You don't suck, it's just a slump.

Here's the good: It happens to all of us. Pros, amateurs, and even other professions. Look at Tiger, just a few short years ago he couldn't chip. Myself, coming out of high school as a scratch golfer, I had a period of maybe 5-10 rounds where I didn't make a single birdie. It felt like it would never end.... until it did. Made a 50 footer and then it was over. Eventually you forget about it and it makes you stronger. Now whenever I feel like I can't make a birdie, I just remember back to that time and know that I overcame that. Now you're never going be a perfect golfer. Allow yourself to make mistakes and don't let it destroy a round.

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You need a major mindset shift. You can't fix a problem with the same mindset that caused the problem. Without the mindset shift, you'll not get out of your rut. It's a seemingly simple fix as stated, buts it's a painful and difficult one in practice. That's why few people as a percentage of population can pull it off.

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I was in this boat. Couldn't break 85 for years.

A few things I notice:

1. You're burned out. You need time to rest, a week a month is usually enough. Daily golf is fine, but structure it to one aspect of your game, and then do something else the rest of the day. Golf may be a job for some on tour, but they have to ease up on the pressure at some point to ensure they're fresh when they return to the circuit.

2. Your coach is full of it. The PGA (and I say this without blatant disrespect) are full of ****. They teach nothing useful. I knew a Challenge Tour player who worked in the shop, and he handed me the PGA Manual. He said that none of the guys he ever played with swung like that, and it's just there to sell lessons. There are 3 things in the game: ball-first contact, path and face (curving the ball), and hitting through the ball, not at it. Best be careful with instruction. Snead, Hogan, Sarazen...self taught. You might want to try teaching yourself.

3. You're better off learning to chip, pitch, and learn the short game. If you can't get up and down, your game will never break 12 handicap unless you're Moe Norman.

4. You need competition. Playing by yourself, given your temperament, is costing you enjoyment. You need someone to play with who can kick your ***. This spurs improvement, and gives you a reason to keep playing, because you have something to work towards. You are similar to me, as casual golf to me is a chore. I figure I'd rather play Tiger Woods than a 6 handicap for a daily dose of small talk. It's just my temperament. You need to compete, so you always find you improve.

5. Don't listen to people who tell you you're too serious about the game. Was Tiger too serious? What about Nicklaus? Yeah, your average 90 shooter is chill, and that's why they shoot 90. Good players who improve give a **** enough to put their best efforts in, and don't allow themselves to slack when they want something. Yes, you need rest so you don't burnout, but taking it serious is fine, and people who say otherwise can have their wallets cleaned out when you beat them and their Taylormades into the sand. Golf is individual, so let their opinions be their opinions.

6. Have specific goals, and always make them hard to achieve, while still being able to reach them.

 

Be yourself, teach yourself, and get some rest.

 

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Lots of good stuff in here. The crushing weight of expectations appears, to me anyway, to be the culprit. I will use myself as the example since telling "you" what to do is inane.

I have dropped to a 2 handicap recently. The new handicap tells me my "potential" and my average score to my handicap. I am 2 then 5.5. So everytime I tee it up, I know that I have 2 stinkers to play with to meet my cap, which I shouldn't do very often (i believe 25% of the time), or 6 stinkers to play average golf. Going into it with this mindset permits me to slough of the stinkers because I already expect them. Anything over 6 and I make excuses. Bad bounces, bad lies, etc. I try not to blame myself because once I take responsibility for where the danged ball went, there I am in this mental morass. It doesn't always work, but it helps me to forget the fact I hit the ball into those places which created the "bad luck."

The other way I manage expectations is in the Short Game Bible. Early on, Pelz has a miss ratio for levels of golfers. Knowing even the best in the world miss their wedges by 20% was totally freeing to me. I believed if I hit a 50 yard wedge to 30 feet it meant I failed. Well, to Pelz's point, that is professional grade short game (the tree putt isn't, but the wedge was).

Lastly, for me anyway, when I find myself in this state I play better because I swing more freely. I consistently score better when I don't keep score as well. I never play alone, and I never play for nothing, so someone else keeps score for the group. I suspect we have all been there, but it starts for me with personal expectations and then forgetting them when I don't meet them.

With a screen name like P3P you know I get it. If it wasn't for the bad putting, then it was the chip yips, and now its just an old fat guy hitting and chasing.

 

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Your mental game has F'd you. It's crap and it's finally caught you up.

 

You need a reset mentally. The way you see the game. The way you see practice. The way you see the wonderful surroundings of being outside. I love being on the range or course.... I feel like a kid at a candy store.

 

The appreciation of the wind in your face, the little creeks, rabbits, squirrels that are everywhere, the hawks lookin for them, the awesomeness of being outside and not a desk etc.... I remember sitting in a cart with my bud waiting our turn in the 90s sayin even Bill Gates with all his billions could not improve on this moment, sure he would be at a more expensive course but the rest is even beyond moneys touch cause its so simple of an experience.

 

Then when you have an appreciative attitude go and enjoy increasing your skill. Do you enjoy increasing your skill at something or not? and do you enjoy the process cause I love it....

 

As far as the physical game goes I would suggest taking only 1 club like a PW to the range and become very skillful with it. Learn to work the distance range that you can hit it from the longest to the shortest like for me that would be 100-140.... learn to hit some very buttery soft ones in complete control over and over then slowly add power while keeping complete control and become a boss with it.... there is no need for other clubs to be hit.... learn how to work the ball left, right, straight, then control the height up and down and hit every shot with that easy to control PW. I love practicing like that. Then move on to driver another day and do the same thing but make the process fun.

 

You need an attitude adjustment my friend don't be your own worse enemy.... it's only golf.... do you get upset when you have a day at the pool.... same thing lol

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I try and like my own posts but can't figure out how...

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Having the time and money to play daily and practice as much as described is a blessing, not sure why you're so hard on yourself.

Golf is hard, period. Some people play their whole lives never break 90.

I think your issue is between your ears, enjoy the game, it's a microchasm of life...sometimes you hit good shots get screwed by the golf gods, other times get away with a terrible shot.

C'est la vie.

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5 over after 4 isn't that bad man; take a break or play less frequently until you find yourself really jonesing to play and then play but don't count. If you find you aren't eager to play then play less frequently.

Mix it up every now and then and play a round with just 3-5 clubs

When you're back with your full bag and things start to go sideways on the course club up and swing at a speed you can control the face and path at to keep it in play.

 

Stop scouring youtube every day for the next magic move thats going to fix your game. Stop watching video of your swing until your attitude comes around and youre ready to practice with a purpose. ⁵Learn to take joy from your good shots and laugh off your bad ones.

 

We're pulling for you but you can't be letting this stuff affect your home life / personality, you need to recalibrate your expectations.

 

 

 

 

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