Do you mind if I play some music?

[GeorgeHWB]

I like music. But I hate music on the golf course. In my opinion it has no place and is detestable. I like to enjoy the tranquility of the game and not have a rock concert playing in the background.

 

Tonight I was on the first tee with my buddy at his club (I'm considering joining) and a single joined us late. No big deal. Seemed like a nice guy.

 

After we played the first hole we rolled up to the second tee box and the guy says, "Do you mind if I play some music?" I got this deer in the headlights look and my buddy visibly grimaced because he knows I hate music on the course. I had a split second to decide: Do I tell this guy no problem and know I'm going to be aggravated for the next 17 holes or say I really don't care for music on the course and I'd prefer that he not? Knowing full well if I say no it is likely going to make for an awkward rest of the round.

 

Since I was at my buddy's club, I said, "That's fine" Then I told my buddy to park our cart as far away from the guy as was reasonably possible. We got rained out after 6 holes anyway so I didn't have to listen for too long.

 

What would you do if you didn't like music on the course? Is there a polite way to say no? Because if this ever happens again I'm saying no. It sucks to be put in this position but with nearly everyone having portable speakers it is going to happen more and more.

[Philomathesq]

I have to assume he asked because he wanted to get your blessing. The fact he asked means he left you an out to say “no.” I understand why you were conflicted, but he asked, so you would have been well within your right to say no.

I don’t ask people for permission to do something unless I’m prepared to forego my planned action if they say no. That is, I know that by asking I could receive a response of “no,” and I’m ok with that, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.

I think the most polite way to say no is something along the lines of: “I appreciate you asking because I prefer to play my rounds without music, so I’d greatly appreciate it if you did not play any music.”

[LukeDonaldsTiger]

Life is too short. Say no the next time. I know, easier said than done. I’m slowly getting there and it’s improving my life in so many ways. People will respect your answer if you’re courteous and definitive.

[GeorgeHWB]

I'll say, it seems so easy to say no. I'm not usually bashful or afraid of stepping on toes, but dang, this one was hard. I'm definitely saying no next time so I appreciate the suggestions for wording and if anyone at wrx has been put in this spot before.

[2bGood]

One more reason why walking is so much better - I can't say I have seen walking golfer show up with tunes.

As for the question, I would so "no" in a nice way most of the time. But I do empathize with your situation of being a guest at the club making it not really your place to dictate how a member choses to play.

[Augster]

There are plenty of walking guys with speakers now. Don’t think there aren’t.

The other day I saw 4 walkers in the same group, all with their own speakers, all playing different music, all loud enough to hear, basically, anywhere on the course.

To the OP, there is no good way to say no. In a lot of cases, and I’ve seen this first hand, they are going to play it anyway. They just want your blessing so they aren’t “the bad guy”.

A guy in a tourney asked if I minded if he played music. I said, “Yes I mind. I prefer the sounds of the course.” His answer? “Okay, I’ll play it quiet then”. So I got to listen to music the entire round even after saying no.

There is no good way to say no. By saying nothing when someone just starts playing music, and by saying yes when asked, we are encouraging these fools to continue their boorish behavior. And it really shouldn’t be on us to have to tell other adults that their behavior is idiotic. Golf has been around for 600 years. Nearly all of that time, played quietly with no music. For the last 5 or so, people have started playing music out loud on the course. It’s completely moronic.

[GeorgeHWB]

I like the way you think!

 

 

Edit - I will note this guy 100% would not have turned his music on if I said no. I just didn't want to deal with the awkwardness and, as mentioned, I was playing as a guest at a club I'm thinking about joining. Under any other circumstances I would gotten along great with the guy. He was friendly and similar age and ability with myself and my buddy. Sans music I would very much enjoy playing with him again.

[LukeDonaldsTiger]

I remember this one guy on here who met the „guy you hate playing with“ in the parking lot, walking straight up to him and saying: „find another group to ply with. You’re out. I’m not gonna explain myself.“ And walking away.

I mean, that’s really cold, but in the end, it’s his life and if he is constantly aggravated because of the behavior of one guy in a foursome and the other two feel the same and never say anything- it’s really not that hard to understand.

Better have 30 tough seconds to suffer through and feel liberated afterwards, than suffering everytime he‘s playing.

He‘s my hero.

[North Butte]

If asked that question, I would have immediately answered "Please don't" without any second thoughts at all. It was polite of him to ask which makes it easier to deal with by just answering no.

If he hadn't asked, I'm pretty sure I would still have told him I'd rather he turn it off. But I suppose having to initiative might be a little awkward depending on the context. But if asked, no awkwardness at all IMO.

[Hateto3Putt]

I've learned on these forums that nobody who plays music on the course EVER has it at a volume that others can hear.

[caniac6]

Since you were a guest, and this guy joined your group, it should be left to your buddy to decide. I will listen to music,sometimes, when playing alone, but it’s not even a consideration when playing with someone else.

[BlackDiamondPar5]

I always walk 18 and often play tunes. When I do it can't be heard more than 15' from the cart. All the guys in my league that play music all walk. So there goes that stereotype

There are times I'm not listening to music but another guy is. If it's loud enough to interfere with soft conversation then it's too loud and I say so. Don't have to be passive aggressive about it. However if I'm a guest then I just go with the flow and relax.

As a general rule if I'm playing with people I don't know music stays off even if they couldn't hear it.

As a side note: If the volume is a soft whisper on the tee box or green and it still disturbs you then you need to toughen up.

[braincramp52]

Just say, I have no problem with you playing music as long as I can't hear it.

[No_Catchy_Nickname]

"Sure, as long as it's 8th century Chinese court music. I like my music funky."

 

[double_d]

Just say, "Only if you don't mind if I sing along?"

Not sure about you but, nobody wants to hear me sing.

 

 

[brew4eagle]

I know this topic gets beat to death, but I wish courses would just ban music. It's so ******* annoying.

[double_d]

I think that would work at higher end and private courses but, I don't think you can un-ring that bell at muni courses.

If society has taught us anything is that people do what they want, when they want when it comes to a rule such as this that has no real consequence.

Folks would just turn on the music on #2 tee and leave it to other golfers to police.

That said, I hate music on the course but, I never say anything about it although I can sometimes hear it from two holes over.

[Dpavs]

It's always good to lead with honesty so I would just have said.. "Thanks for asking but I'm sorry I'd really prefer you didn't. I just find it too distracting while I am trying to focus on my game." At this point you have done your part and have been completely honest with him. Now it is up him to show some courtesy and live up to the sincerity of his having asked you in the first place. If he is a decent sort, he will understand that the right thing to do in this case is to forego a round with music. If not, at least you will have learned something about the character of the person you have been asked to play with.

[Warrior42111]

So the guy wanted to play music while joining your group, he did the right thing and asked. I think your buddy who was the member should have said no, in a polite manner of course since it is his course. Forcing the decision on a guest isn't really a good play.

That being said if the roles were reserved and you are the single joining a group that plays music, it's time to suck it up. IMO

[brew4eagle]

I agree, and realize it won't ever happen. A man can dream though.

[Sawgrass]

“How about I give you $20 to leave it off?”

[2bGood]

For those of us who do not like music on course (I am in that camp)- is there a circumstance that you don't mind it to even like it?

For me - I play in several charity scrambles for work. They are pretty painful with 6 hour rounds and a bunch of hackers. Long ago I realized it was not about the golf and all about socializing for the day. That mindset made it much less painful. At these events I have had people show up wanting to play music. At first it annoyed me, but now I am fine with it.

 

[HiTrajLoSpin]

I admit that I'm a dinosaur , but I don't understand why those wanting to listen to music on the course don't just use earbuds

[kiwh]

I play multiple instruments and love music.

I don’t care for it on the golf course, especially the crap modern country everyone wants to listen too.

if I wanna hear lady Gaga I’ll go to the strip club.

[double_d]

Charity or work scramble I wouldn't mind it. Mostly because some of the folks playing wouldn't be regular golfers and as you said it would relieve some of the tedium.

[Mr. Bean]

'..with nearly everyone having portable speakers..'

I just LOVE living here where NOBODY has portable speakers

And to answer your question: I would simply say 'no, I do not want you to play any kind of music while we play, thank you very much'. Fortunately around here this situation never occurs...

[david.c.w]

I am fine with music or no music. The only thing I hate is competing music where I can hear 2 songs at the same time. That being said, my usual group is OK with music. If a guy joined our usual group he is going to have to deal with music. If i join another group I am not going to play music and will take cues from the other 3.

This is weird as the guy joined you, but you are a guest. He probably should not have asked and you probably should not say anything. Awkward all around. Likely the other guy should not have joined at all and let another member entertain his guest.

[puttnforthe8]

Not sure what strip clubs you go to? but any strip club playing lady gaga would be one to avoid.

[nsxguy]

For a casual/fun round - "Sure, so long as you turn it OFF (not just lower it) while I'm hitting."

For a serious comp - "I'd rather you didn't"

[kiwh]

Haha Every single one in Texas!