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On 7/29/2020 at 7:39 AM, elpollosuperloco said:

Things have gotten rather bleak this season (no guff, Chet!) and I'm considering quitting golf altogether. I don't know how to enjoy the game anymore. I'm turning to you guys for guidance, and wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar headspace and what they did / if a break was the right choice.

For background, I'm in my early 30s and a fairly strong former multi-sport athlete. I started playing seriously four years ago and I'm currently playing off a 21. My biggest issue has always been the driver. I started taking lessons in June of 2017 because I only drove the ball around 200 yards and was very inconsistent.

Since then I've dedicated myself to the game. Read books, structured my workout around golf. I got serious about lessons, and at this juncture I've taken 43 hours of instruction with a grand total of eight instructors. I've taken the bulk of these lessons with two coaches, one who I worked with last year for nearly 30 hours and another this year for close to 10. For the last three years I've practiced multiple times per week, year round. I've lived and breathed golf, and I thought I was on the right path many times. But the reality is my handicap has not changed since I started playing again. The swing I learned from YouTube videos in 2016 has created the same scoring results as dozens of hours of instruction, hundreds of hours of practice, and thousands of dollars invested.

I try to practice the right way -- I don't just beat balls, I do drills, I go slow. But the result (off the tee especially) is still anyone's guess. And to boot, I feel like a chump who got taken for a ride by instructors. It's made me think that I'm either a.) always destined to suck, and although I see tons of people with more consistent ball-striking swings who aren't pros, I won't get to be one of the lucky ones who has that or b.) golf coaches are squeezing me because I'm so obviously desperate to be good.

What's made me think about quitting recently is the fact that I just can't live in the trees anymore. I can't spend my entire round looking for every single tee shot. I don't want to play every hole defensively, where I draw my 5 iron out of the bag before I've put my driver back in because I know my second shot is going to be a 60 yard puncher. For the love of god, I just want to find the ball off the tee. This complete anguish over every tee shot being a roulette spin sucks, and it ruins the game, enough to where the score doesn't matter as much anymore.

Case in point -- I shot 88 at my home course last week, and I had a legitimate shot at being near 80. But I had just one par on the back nine and tripled 17 to finish with a 47 out. I came home all smiles because I'd only hit 3 "bad" tee shots on the back nine, and even those I was able to get out of trouble on. Meanwhile, I shot 87 at the sister course last week -- my second-best score ever -- and I was pissed. All because 11 of 18 tee shots were in other fairways, way under trees, stuck in brambles, or otherwise unplayable. I scrambled like a god, and Arccos had my putting handicap at +6.2, thus the great score, but the whole round was a headache. I hated it. I just don't want to play like this anymore.

I went through the pain of finding a new instructor this season, one of the most highly-rated in my state, and even after hours of instruction he's still just telling me to do the same drill over and over again and my body just will not cooperate. I've got a closed clubface at the top of the driver swing, and because my last instructor told me to "swing inside out" I now drop my hands at the start of the downswing, making direction all kinds of squirrely.

There was so much excitement for me at the end of last summer. I thought I was putting the pieces together, and that what I would work on all winter would be getting more compression and forward shaft lean, removing my flip at the bottom of the iron swing. But instead it's completely fallen apart, and even after more instruction I feel no closer to being "good". The ironic part is, all I want now is to poop the ball down the middle of the fairway and play bogey golf. But 95-105+ rounds keep sneaking up on me, all because I can't hit a driver or a fairway wood to save my life, and it's starting to feel like no instructor will ever be able to tell me how to do so.

COVID is hard. Golf has felt like some kind of escape, both in the time spent on the course and the mental concentration needed to play it, thus allowing the rest of the world to melt away. But now it's just another stressor to add to one of the most difficult times in any of our lives. My optimism and dedication has dissipated, and now I don't think I'll find a swing coach that can teach me how to not swing like an amalgam of Top 10 YouTube Swing Tips You NEED For More SPEED and POWER!!!

I'm so angry after every range session. I'm so angry after every round. It's been 18 months of near-weekly lessons and thousands of dollars, and it just doesn't seem worth it. I don't want to give up. I don't want to be a quitter. And when you play good, it's just so. damn. good. But right now, that feeling has been few and far between.

This is a very long, whiny post but god if anyone is going to understand this crap it's got to be you guys. Any support, tips, instruction, or offers on my clubs would be appreciated. Low ball offers accepted.

Mate, I can sympathize with you. Golf is super hard and head wrecking. The more you want it the further away it feels like it is. I reckon what you'll really benefit from is some work on your mental game. You're too attached to expectations and on outcomes. Angry people don't play well on the course. You need to build some inner harmony, and learn to stay in the moment. Learn to feel good about yourself, and learn to be confident. Its possible to feel confident just by managing your thoughts. I know - I've been in your situation, and now practice my mental game everyday, and apply it to all of my life. For example, I continually reinforce with myself I have the best short game out of anyone out there on the course on a particular day. Do I? Don't know and don't care. But s*** my short game is good and reliable. I also tell myself I have a decent game off the tee and I've earned it from working hard on it with my pro. Faking it till I make it. I used to hack like you and now I hit fairways,. I still make huge amounts of mistakes, but I don't care. I carry on. I also believe in my scrambling game, so if I do go in the rough, I know I have a great chance of getting out. Why? Cos I practice it.

 

I also work hard incorporating a routine into my shots. Pick out a target, practice swing, check grip, practice swing, look at target, think about nothing but the target in my swing - rinse and repeat. Hit a bad shot - meh, stay in the moment, accept it, move on. No point being hard on myself.

 

I have also learnt to pride myself on being calm and patient on the course. And always showing good sportsmanship to my competitors.  

 

I recommend three books - two are audiobooks you can listen to on the way to work:

1) Golf is not a game of perfect by Bob Rotella

2) Your 15th Club by Bob Rotella

3) Golf Psychology - When Positive Thinking Doesnt Work by Jonathan Adler

 

Good luck!

Edited by Wormkiller
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  • 9 months later...
Swing looks quite good to me. Should see my driver. Duck hooks for days no matter what I do to fix it. It's extremely frustrating as my driver used to be by far my best part of the game. right around 300 in play almost every time. I've played since I was a kid. At least 20 years of playing. For the past 2 seasons I have not been able to get it back. a lot of my driver shots start right and move right. I'm a lefty so for me this is a duck hook. a lot of the time it may even only go 170 yards with maybe 10 to 12' in the air. So basically struggling to get the ball in the air as well as lots of shots out the toe making my club twist and big time hook. Swinging down on the driver with quite a few high pop ups due to hitting the top of the driver head. Did you ever get your driver figured out? If so any tips? I'm so frustrated that I want to quit!! but then again i love the game and basically only sport i play now so i want to keep playing. I've shot in the 70's before multiple times but the last two years due to my bad tee shots I'm closer to 90 these days.
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I like the shorter driver suggestion a lot. You may give up distance, but hitting out of the fairways all the time is a lot of help. Shorter driver along with a good 7 wood can really help. I seem to pick up your not very flexible for some reason. Try becoming more limber, maybe some yoga stretches! I had a very bad stretch for months and lately things are turning a round. Shot 41 yesterday so things are improving.  The group you play with can make a difference as well. Good luck and i hope you turn a corner as well.  Take the pressure off yourself, it does not help at all. 

Bag is in overhaul mode

Clubs identify as hacker set

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