Recovering from a choke job?

[jcvandamme]

I flat-out choked away my club championship yesterday. With 9 holes to go, I had a 5 shot lead over the closest players in my group and a 7 shot lead over the eventual winner (not in my group). After I limped in with +6 over the last 3 holes, I tapped in for a double on 18 for what I thought was a 1 shot victory, only to find out at the scoreboard that I was actually tied with someone who finished 2 groups ahead of me. Of course, I was so mentally defeated that I had no chance in the playoff. The other guy birdied the first extra hole to win.

 

This is my 5th top 3 finish in the last 8 years, and my second consecutive 2nd place finish. I'm starting to think I'll never win it, especially now with the memory of giving it away like that. I read a few threads about other people losing leads, which makes me feel a little better because well, misery loves company. But I didn't really see too much about how you recover mentally from it and keep it from creeping back in during future tournaments. Any advice would be much appreciated.

[Noodler]

Some golfers play better knowing exactly where they stand, while others benefit from being oblivious.  It sounds like you're like me in that the added pressure of knowing you have a large lead, or must birdie the next hole, does not result in improving your performance.  So if you can control what you know during the round, you know which way to handle that in the future.  Yesterday I had no idea I had won my tournament until I got home and had taken a shower (I was in the first group of the tourney)...  ?

 

Of course what you asked about was actually how to mentally recover.  All I can offer is that the best way to truly put it behind you is to have a future positive result.  Knowing that the result can go either way gives me piece of mind that I can only control my own game, so I take it one swing at a time, one hole at a time.  All the while, I revel in the glorious unknown of what my competitors are doing. ?

Edited September 14, 2020 by Noodler

[jvincent]

@jcvandamme I'm not a mental coach but I can pretend to be one.

 

For your final 9 holes do an analysis of where you lost strokes. Did you make bad shots or bad decisions? Did you change your playing style and become more or less conservative? I'll go out on a limb and say you probably changed your approach somehow and that was what caused you to blow up.

[jcvandamme]

30 minutes ago, jvincent said:

@jcvandamme I'm not a mental coach but I can pretend to be one.

 

For your final 9 holes do an analysis of where you lost strokes. Did you make bad shots or bad decisions? Did you change your playing style and become more or less conservative? I'll go out on a limb and say you probably changed your approach somehow and that was what caused you to blow up.

A little of both. A triple on #16 was the result of a 3 wood blocked out of bounds, even though I'd hit a draw with that club all day off the tee. But I always hit 3 wood of that tee, so I'm not sure it was a bad decision. The double on #18 was from trying to hit a 3/4 pitching wedge to a left pin and overcooking by 10 yards into a hedgerow. Should I have tried to go after the pin there? Probably not, but I (incorrectly) thought I needed par to win rather than bogey, and I didn't trust myself 2 putting from 30 feet or more with rather shaky hands.

 

I just worry that every time I'm in contention, it could be my last time in contention, so I'm really kicking myself for not getting it done here.

[SNIPERBBB]

Selective short term memory. Keep good memories, get rid of the bad.

[N0rs3man]

You won't fix it unless your goals change.

 

Instead of wanting to win the club champ, understand that it pales in comparison to the state event. Sign up for the state event. Then u won't really give a s*** what u do in the insignificant club championship.

[acekun]

Sorry, man -- that stinks. Think it's OK to let it sting for a while.

 

But think you need to look at it another way. If I saw a guy who has finished in the top 3 consistently and runner-up two years in a row, he's probably the guy I'm picking to win next year. It's just a matter of time. 

 

I'm not a great golfer but grew up playing other sports (like a lot of guys on here). The universal truth across all sports is that the best players stay in the present. They don't worry about what has happened. Or worry about what will happen. They just play in the moment. 

 

That doesn't just apply during a tournament -- it applies to you today. Don't worry about what happened in past tournaments. Don't worry about what will happen in the next tournament. Just focus on what you are doing today to get better. And enjoy the process! I do like what Nors3man said too -- play more competitive events. 

 

Last thing -- remember when Mickelson kept losing majors? I remember after he lost one of them and he got the question if he thought he would ever win one. And he basically said: "Absolutely! But I don't think I'm going to win just one -- I think I will win multiple majors!" Phil thought of himself as a major winner who just hadn't won a major yet. You should view yourself as the same -- a club champion who just hasn't won it yet. 

[MtlJeff]

I don't necessarily believe in special tactics or mental trainings when stuff like this happens. These things happen either due to nerves preventing you from playing your best, or simply bad luck/timing which as much as we hate admitting it, happens in golf. I have shot 44's on the back 9 in casual rounds as well as tournaments, sometimes you just shoot a 44 because we are amateurs

 

You have a few high finishes so are obviously good, and tournament tested. Most players will deal with nerves down the stretch of a CC especially while in the lead, so that is normal. Unless you are really nervous i'd say maybe you've just gotten some bad luck or some bad timing

 

The list of amateurs who've blown leads in their club championships would go from here to Mars. Just a couple of years ago a guy at our club lost a 9 shot lead heading into the back nine. I think the next year he won our match play event. 

 

I think you will be fine! Stay positive

[Mcgeeno]

I was thinking of this for a few days. Might not get read thats ok.

 

I've had an epic choke before in front of 100+ members in a playoff for my club championship. Driver in the middle of the fairway. Opponent behind a tree stymied. I shanked my 63 yard wedge into the water to make double and lose... I've also won it a few times and am a consistent contender for trophies. It is what it is.

 

What I have learned and told myself is that pressure is a privilege. The right to hit clutch shots and win a tournament only comes to those who have earned it.

 

Most of the people who will bring up choking have never been in any position to do so. Embrace it and be proud that you hit a bunch of awesome golf shots over the course of a weekend and earned the right to have it come down to a few shots for the win. 

 

You take deep breaths, you realize you have hit that same shot a thousand times and you can do it. 

 

I've choked plenty of times. It hurts but I'd rather have that feeling and rush heading down the stretch than shooting 81-83 and never having any shot. 

[bladehunter]

On 9/15/2020 at 8:45 AM, N0rs3man said:

You won't fix it unless your goals change.

 

Instead of wanting to win the club champ, understand that it pales in comparison to the state event. Sign up for the state event. Then u won't really give a s*** what u do in the insignificant club championship.

This ^. 10k times this.  The club championship is for folks who want to get lucky and win so they can crow to their 10 handicap buddies.  Set the bar much higher and next year it won’t be a hard event.  

[magnus7319]

Been there... shanked a 7i from 170 middle of the 18 fairway when all I needed was a bogey to win a couple years ago...

 

Shanked the next shot, ended up doubling the hole, lost in playoff. First 2 shanks of the year, none since then either LOL.

 

My mistake, and I've done this over and over, in casual matches, league, district events... is being conservative, not being aggressive. Thinking, ok I'll just make pars... well... sometimes pars are hard! I need to be aggressive and go for it. Not being stupid aggressive, but not thinking, ok, front of the green or taking less club or just not playing 'normal' if that makes sense.

 

This year, driver, 8 iron to 2 feet, eagle on 18 to win. (and yea, I did have the shank in my head when I got to the ball, I'll prob never forget it, but you better believe I got it out of my head quick, and I only had one thought before that shot - attack!)

 

For me it came down to knowing in my mind what I have to do to succeed. And that was change my mindset and then I applied it on that shot, that hole, that round, etc...

[naval2006]

When I was younger I used to choke often.  Had a lot of game but got real nervous everytime I had to close a tournament or club championship.  As I grew older I found out it was like a paralizing fear.  For many years now whenever I'm in position to win it means I somehow am playing decent golf.  So my mantra has always been one: keep the club moving to the finish.  

 

Definitely this is MY mantra for a high pressure context in golf.  But  the thing that I figured out was what was going on and I worked out a life vest to pull through.  Gradually I stopped feeling fear and now for years I just try to play my best since I have nothing to lose.  I've lost game but at least everytime I play a champioship match I get back home feeling I gave out everything I had in my toolbox.  Mind you, I've learned a lot from the greatest club champions at my course: they've told me often that they may feel a lot of pressure but fear is something they've never heard of.  These guys are really deep water sharks when it comes to golf.     

[Arnsybill]

Keep perspective. An imperfect game played by imperfect people. Remind yourself how lucky you are to compete and play. 
 

Remind yourself there’s a pandemic and be grateful for the opportunity to play an amazing game. 

[LifeStory]

Cant avoid the odd choke every now and again.

[sethdavidsdad]

On 9/14/2020 at 10:25 AM, jcvandamme said:

I flat-out choked away my club championship yesterday. With 9 holes to go, I had a 5 shot lead over the closest players in my group and a 7 shot lead over the eventual winner (not in my group). After I limped in with +6 over the last 3 holes, I tapped in for a double on 18 for what I thought was a 1 shot victory, only to find out at the scoreboard that I was actually tied with someone who finished 2 groups ahead of me. Of course, I was so mentally defeated that I had no chance in the playoff. The other guy birdied the first extra hole to win.

 

This is my 5th top 3 finish in the last 8 years, and my second consecutive 2nd place finish. I'm starting to think I'll never win it, especially now with the memory of giving it away like that. I read a few threads about other people losing leads, which makes me feel a little better because well, misery loves company. But I didn't really see too much about how you recover mentally from it and keep it from creeping back in during future tournaments. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Several years ago I had a chance to win my first Club Championship. Tied coming into 18. I had always planned on hitting driver and being aggressive unless they had the tees were on the back tee box. Got to the tee and the tees were pushed back, instead of going back and changing clubs I hit driver in the water and lost by 1. Missed the next years championship and we changed our greens out the next. Last year I came to 18 with a 1 shot lead excited to hit that 5 iron tee shot I had practiced for two years. I won and repeated this year. It can be done just have to look at the mistakes as learning points. Even though I won last year I set out to fix all the mistakes I made from the final round when I limped in. This year the final round I played well and fixed most of my mistakes from the year before. 

Already started listed what went wrong for next year. Practice has started less than 12 months until we do this again. Good luck

[Barfolomew]

SOMETIMES YOU SUCK! That's the nature of golf...

 

Play the very next tournament you can and don't take any of the mental crap you got going on.  Doesn't mean you suck just cause you did that day!!! Laugh it off and get right back on the horse.... AND you get HUGE credit for owning it on a public forum..... most aint got the balls for that ( it's just that yours are in the water hahahaha) 

 

F em brush off the dirt and go get em kid!

[OrangeGravy]

Fear of failure is a strange thing. It's often the cause of the very thing you're afraid of. Embrace the pain of blowing up at the end and look forward to putting yourself in that position again and again and again. It would be nice if someone invented a pill that turned nerves and fear of failing into excited at the opportunity to achieve something great. Embrace that you're good enough to get in the position to win it and as long as maintain that level of play, you'll keep giving yourself chances to win it. 

[goheels11]

I’ve played in a ton of tournaments, Club championship and state.  Unequivocally, playing in a state event has never impacted my desire Or pressure to win my club event, or my nerves.  Winning is winning.  The only thing that helps is focus on the process and understanding that winning is often the byproduct of prep.  Not sure I ever want to create a scenario where I try to play mind games of the value of the tourney.  All of our heads are our own, but that rings a “I didn’t win but it didn’t matter” mentality.  Again, my head, not yours.  

[Mcgeeno]

As an addition to this thread:

 

I won my 3rd club championship this weekend by 6 strokes.

 

After losing the last two (The epic choke job I talked about earlier in here and the 2nd one by a shot)

 

One thing I learned in addition to add to all the other great comments in here: Its OK to be a nervous and jittery player. Some guys grip it tighter. Some guys have doubts and shaky nerves. I kind of accepted that this weekend. I had to take more deep breaths, I had to walk a little slower, I had to make my routine steady and consistent. It is what it is. It worked out for me.

 

I embraced this fact for a change instead of trying to pretend i don't get nervous. I shot 71-69 and had a comfortable lead heading into day 2. I decided my goal was to win by 10 and accept all the shots. I gave myself 5 seconds after a bad swing to get angry and then accepted it and moved on. Hit every shot solid except for a bad swing off the 9th hole that cost me a double bogey. (I had nerves on the tee and didnt take my time and duck hooked it a lesson learned for me. I was crusing at a couple under up until then and had built my lead up even bigger)

 

It was a revelation for me and the acceptance was pretty huge. Some guys just have to learn how to play with more nerves. Doesnt mean you have to play bad and accept choking. You just have grind. I came home and almost passed out from mental exhaustion haha.

[Moonlightgrm]

JCVANDAMME, I’ve been there and it was rough. I haven’t read any of the responses, so if this is repetitive, I apologize.
 

I stopped playing competitive golf for a few years after my meltdown. After winning three club championships and finishing runner-up twice, I had a similar experience as you, finishing a club championship that I should have won, going +5 over the last three holes. I couldn’t touch a club for a few weeks. When I got back to playing, I only played “soft golf” with friends and fellow country club members. After a couple of years, I started playing some 2-balls and 4-balls. I just couldn’t play any individual events. Fortunately for me, our state amateur champion joined our club and became a golfing companion. One day, he asked me why I don’t play in any state events. After telling him I don’t have the nerves for such competition, because of my meltdown, I was astounded when he told me that he’d experienced a similar setback. It wasn’t until he entrusted a sports psychologist that he got his game back and confidence back, and became our state champion.
 

He suggested a cheaper therapy. Buy the Bob Rotella audio series and listen to it over and over again. I bought the DVDs and listened to them in my car. I bought two of Rotella’s books and read them. SLOWLY, it began to work. This game is such a mental challenge, that sometimes we need a little help. 
 

All the best. You can overcome and move forward playing the game you love! 

[kcstock]

Playing goalie for 20 years I learned to break the game down into shorter challenges. Win this period, win the penalty kill, win the next possession.

 

i break the golf match down to holes. 18 little games. I try to win more than I lose.

 

hope this helps.