Time to make the big decision

[mvhoffman]

I'm a weekend warrior golfer.  I play to a current 5.8 handicap.  I went out today with 3 friends for an extremely casual round/team match.  Square on the front, lost on the back.  I carried our team 8/9 holes on the front but on the back I just kind of lost it.  Well, I can't say that I lost it, I just didn't take the time to properly set up, proper stance, swayed instead of turning causing a big uncommon fade, followed by some frustration.  Now I had a blast today but would have loved to win.  I have never been really competitive on the course, I simply just haven't.  I just enjoy getting out there and playing.   

 

I get frustrated, like I am now for making crap swings and wasting holes.  I really have to either go out and stop keeping a handicap and make it a "I was once a good golfer" or just really buckle down and make sure to properly set up, aim, you know... play golf.  

 

I am leaning towards the playing golf option... I love going out and smacking a ball around but at the end of the day having to say, "well we lost because I shot 10 strokes over what I normally do... but we had fun" urks the sh!t out of me.  I have to actually do a routine for every shot and stick with it, now and over the snowy Northeast winter.  

 

Im playing in the morning with my normal walking crew tomorrow morning.  I will be playing golf.

[jvincent]

Since you don't play golf for a living, there's nothing wrong with having a bad day and still having fun.

 

I'm about the same as you (5.3) and hit the ball like a spaz on several holes today. Still had a good time though since the season is about to end so we've got to enjoy every chance we get now.

 

When it's cold and windy like it was this morning and there are leaves all over the place I'm not usually in a mood to grind for a score.

[Roejye]

I agree with @jvincent, you're not playing for a living so it's okay to just go out and enjoy it sometimes. I'm pretty certain that my season for outdoor golf is done thanks to unseasonably bad weather here in MN. That being said, I think it's a good idea to "play golf" as you say it. The consistency should help to take some variables out of the equation. Of course my handicap is 17.7, but it was trending downward due to playing golf like you were saying more consistently.

[naval2006]

My round today was a nightmare buddy, you’re not alone. Let’s get over it and gather some courage for the next. 

[chipa]

I went to the range and started with no swing whatsover, it was ugly to say the least. Anyway I pulled out the driver and as is often the case I got swing back and started bombing it then went back to the irons and hit them well too. I figured out that like the OP I hadn't taken time to get my normal stance but instead was focusing on the takeway to much. I wrote down a few notes to remind myself that my legs are probably the most important part in my swing and therefore never to take my stance lightly.

Edited October 25, 2020 by chipa

[elwhippy]

My last three medal rounds have been. Rubbish. Garbage. Very good. In all three games the company was good. When the course is soaking and leaves are all over the place I start to see the game as exercise, fresh air and a social event. 

[Sean2]

8 minutes ago, elwhippy said:

My last three medal rounds have been. Rubbish. Garbage. Very good. In all three games the company was good. When the course is soaking and leaves are all over the place I start to see the game as exercise, fresh air and a social event. 

I try to do the same thing, but I work hard at this game and if I play poorly it's hard for me to have fun. I admit it's some kind of character flaw, but there it is. 

[BlackDiamondPar5]

Since golf isn't your day job, there's nothing wrong with just enjoy it for what it is, a fun game with friends. Your handicap will adjust and some day's your gonna win and some you'll lose.

 

I used to practice and played better but now I don't practice, my handicap has suffered but I don't have less fun playing. The upside is by not practicing I have more time to do other things that I also enjoy as much as golf. 

Edited October 25, 2020 by BlackDiamondPar5

[phizzy30]

Enjoy your time out on the course as posters have said.  Just having time to golf is a joy to me so soak in every minute I can out there.  I have a group of buddies I play with on the weekends and we will play for a dollar a hole so it's not a big deal but it makes us focus that much harder which isn't a bad thing. 

[mvhoffman]

Thanks for all of the replies.  I have actually been thinking about it.  I played yesterday morning with my normal crew and had a so so day.  I was able to be by myself and in my own head for a lot of the 9 hole round because I hit different shots than most of the guys I play with.  I have to say, I played pretty good.  Had a few shots that I screwed up mainly because I didn't set properly and let my left arm break down a bit (continued issue from someone who was always STEEP and has been flattening out my swing) but for the most part okay.  There were 2 tee shots that I screwed up on because I/we were laughing so freakin hard over some of the comments made by one of the guys, I literally couldn't hit the ball from having tears in my eyes (lets just say, for reference, the conversation involved him, poison ivy, and going to the bathroom not realizing he had poison ivy all over his hands....)

 

I really do enjoy going out and having a good time with my group.  We walk 18 every Sat and Sun at sun up.  I like to laugh and have fun playing with them, but I enjoy hitting good shots, playing different shots, and hitting the ball close to where i'm aiming.  I'm not saying that I want to go out there and play scratch, because frankly as a 5.8/6 handicap I get frustrated at shooting over my handicap now.  I was down to a 2 about 12 years ago and honestly, golf was like work.  I'm very content to where i'm at now.  Good enough to compete when wanting to but still able to go out and have a good time.  I just need to be able to find that switch that let's me do both.

[Roody]

This topic actually hits home for me, especially this year. I've gotten down to my lowest handicap ever (I'm a 5.6 now, but I was even down to a 4.9 for a couple days this season). I have worked on trying to be better, trying to focus on the golf course, and I'm playing well as a result. 

 

However, here's the downside. Recently a friend whom I played many rounds with this season, he started to act funny towards me in the past few weeks. I noticed, and eventually I reached out to ask him if I did something to tick him off. In a nutshell he said "you're not fun to play golf with anymore. When you're on the course you seem to focus on nothing but yourself. And when you're playing well, you seem arrogant to me. Especially when I am not playing well. I play golf to have a good time, I don't care so much about score. But that's all you seem to care about. And you never encourage me when I'm in a rut".

 

Notwithstanding the fact that apparently I am a horrible person to play with on the golf course, it did get me thinking. I thought I was "just playing golf", I didn't realize my actions came off as arrogant and self-centered. In my mind, I was just trying to focus on my game and do my best to shoot a good score. I get enjoyment out of shooting a good shot. I just figured "I do my thing, you do yours, we chat it up some during the round, and we meet afterwards in the bar for beers". I never meant any of my actions to come off as belittling or anything negative to him. 

That said, I think I have a decision to make. Either I try to adjust my behavior to be "less focused" so I can play golf with friends like this guy who don't take the game too seriously. Or I start to play more golf with the more serious guys, usually the early morning guys. I've played with them a bit over the years, and they're very like-minded.

Honestly, I am leaning towards playing with the more serious-minded guys. I view each 18 holes as a test of me versus the golf course. If I don't focus, I get lax and have more blowup holes. And to me that's not fun. 

Scrambles are for goofing off and drinking beers, IMO. 

[mvhoffman]

17 minutes ago, Roody said:

This topic actually hits home for me, especially this year. I've gotten down to my lowest handicap ever (I'm a 5.6 now, but I was even down to a 4.9 for a couple days this season). I have worked on trying to be better, trying to focus on the golf course, and I'm playing well as a result. 

 

However, here's the downside. Recently a friend whom I played many rounds with this season, he started to act funny towards me in the past few weeks. I noticed, and eventually I reached out to ask him if I did something to tick him off. In a nutshell he said "you're not fun to play golf with anymore. When you're on the course you seem to focus on nothing but yourself. And when you're playing well, you seem arrogant to me. Especially when I am not playing well. I play golf to have a good time, I don't care so much about score. But that's all you seem to care about. And you never encourage me when I'm in a rut".

 

Notwithstanding the fact that apparently I am a horrible person to play with on the golf course, it did get me thinking. I thought I was "just playing golf", I didn't realize my actions came off as arrogant and self-centered. In my mind, I was just trying to focus on my game and do my best to shoot a good score. I get enjoyment out of shooting a good shot. I just figured "I do my thing, you do yours, we chat it up some during the round, and we meet afterwards in the bar for beers". I never meant any of my actions to come off as belittling or anything negative to him. 

That said, I think I have a decision to make. Either I try to adjust my behavior to be "less focused" so I can play golf with friends like this guy who don't take the game too seriously. Or I start to play more golf with the more serious guys, usually the early morning guys. I've played with them a bit over the years, and they're very like-minded.

Honestly, I am leaning towards playing with the more serious-minded guys. I view each 18 holes as a test of me versus the golf course. If I don't focus, I get lax and have more blowup holes. And to me that's not fun. 

Scrambles are for goofing off and drinking beers, IMO. 

I'm with you on the scramble mentality.  

 

I have noticed that with my difficulty it has happened every round that I have ridden in a cart.  Like said, typically I walk with the group that I normally play with.  I normally shoot around par and they normally shoot 80s-90s.  It does not matter to them about playing with a better player and for me, I don't think it holds me back playing with someone who is not a good player because with walking you are kind of able to play your own game even in the group.  We play ready golf and usually when it comes time to hit my shot or even up on the green I have been up there and able to play my game and by the time they hit their approaches and putts, 90% of the time I'm already in my pocket and can cheer them on.  Next hole... follows suit.

 

Every time I have played with golfers of the same caliber it has been on riding rounds, and frankly while riding in a cart, I get bored.  Walking allows me to focus more on my ball, lie, breathing, approach, etc.  Walking allows me time to concentrate.  I find riding in a cart I feel rushed so that my riding partner can go hit his shot.  Not to mention the consequence of hitting a bad shot while walking is more than riding in a cart.  

 

I may have just been babbling with this reply... sorry

 

[Roody]

8 minutes ago, mvhoffman said:

I'm with you on the scramble mentality.  

 

I have noticed that with my difficulty it has happened every round that I have ridden in a cart.  Like said, typically I walk with the group that I normally play with.  I normally shoot around par and they normally shoot 80s-90s.  It does not matter to them about playing with a better player and for me, I don't think it holds me back playing with someone who is not a good player because with walking you are kind of able to play your own game even in the group.  We play ready golf and usually when it comes time to hit my shot or even up on the green I have been up there and able to play my game and by the time they hit their approaches and putts, 90% of the time I'm already in my pocket and can cheer them on.  Next hole... follows suit.

 

Every time I have played with golfers of the same caliber it has been on riding rounds, and frankly while riding in a cart, I get bored.  Walking allows me to focus more on my ball, lie, breathing, approach, etc.  Walking allows me time to concentrate.  I find riding in a cart I feel rushed so that my riding partner can go hit his shot.  Not to mention the consequence of hitting a bad shot while walking is more than riding in a cart.  

 

I may have just been babbling with this reply... sorry

 

 

No worries, it's not rambling to me. I'm just relieved that I am not the only one who feels this way. I walk 95% of my rounds as well, and I've come to really enjoy it. It keeps me looser, and allows me time to think about the next shot before I get there.

Also, like you I play ready golf. I had a different guy who's played a few rounds with me this season tell me I am "hard to keep up with" when he also walks with me. It's not that I walk extremely fast, I think it's more that I am efficient when I am walking. If my ball is up ahead of yours, and if it's off to the side where I won't be getting in the way of your shot, I will walk up to my ball and get ready to hit while you are hitting yours. 

On the tee, I am almost always ready to hit. If no one else is ready, I pull club, one practice swing, and go. On the green, same motto. While you're putting I am figuring out my intended line, and sometimes I'll put my ball down and get it lined up. 

What I think is happening with some people is they find this behavior off-putting. I see it as being efficient, they see it as I am not slowing down, enjoying the round and "having fun". The thing is, I am having fun. I guess I just do it differently. I also see it as showing good course etiquette to the group behind me by trying to play ready golf. 

 

[Bad9]

I have to say I find these types of posts confusing, I don't understand why having a routine, focusing on setup, trying to make a good swing and having fun are mutually exclusive?

I have fun every time I play, laughing, shooting s***, etc. At the same time I am trying to shoot the best score I can every time. As a 10hc despite trying my best doesn't always means a good score and the swing may or not be good at any given time(or back to back swings) but I'm still trying as hard as I can and still manage to have fun.

[ZacR88]

I'm playing off scratch, took two weeks off and just shot an 81. To be fair the conditions were pretty unplayable. Its whatever, at the end of the day we are not pro's. Go out and enjoy yourself win or loose, good day or bad you are still golfing outside and not stuck in the office. 

[Slona]

Something similar happened to me this weekend when I played in that I started my round "playing golf" and ended it just goofing off. The guy I was playing with even said to me "hey slow down and get it right" around 14 or 15 when he saw I was just letting it fly. I'm still pondering why this happened, it's not like I was playing a bad round or was frustrated. Just sort of let go and focus more on being there than the game itself, I guess? I need to get to the bottom of it as well and figure out which side of the fence I want to land on. 

[Ironman_32]

From a mental perspective, sounds like you were focusing more on the outcome then the process. More, how can I hit it X distance, and not, whats my process to make my best swing. 

 

Also, sometimes it just doesn't happen. Look at the PGA tour this week, Rory missing greens with wedges, I think Ryan Palmer missed a green long, chipped across the green back to the fairway, barely got that chip on the green and then missed the putt. As much as we prob lay up at night thinking about stupid stuff we did on the course, take Justin Thomas, probably thinking from yesterday why didn't just hit it a little long on that par 3, and not mess up that par 5 on the back and he may have won.

 

One last point, sometimes you do need to "play golf", stuff like, "I hit a cut, but today I'm drawing it", don't waste 6 holes trying to get a cut going. Or try a shot that works once out 20; sometimes play for bogey, instead of making triple. Or the on a par 5 fairway "I can't get there but I'm hitting 3 wood any way, though it brings in more trouble when I still have to hit 3 into the green". Thats' the stuff that kills rounds. 

[Moonlightgrm]

The title fooled me. I thought you were going to “pop the question”. 

[chippa13]

If it is the right person then that wouldn't be a big decision at all.

[naval2006]

Few things are more depressing than a golfer after an awful round. Next weekend you shoot a good score and you will frown upon this thread LOL

[bladehunter]

Op.  I get this.  What I do is simply to have two minds.  What I mean is -  if it’s a impromptu 9 with whoever .... I won’t even think score. I’ll converse , walk and enjoy the fresh air and just see the shot and hit it. Most times won’t even use the range finder.  
 

if it’s for score - I’m opposite.   I may talk while walking from shot to shot. But I’m focused around the ball.  And the only focus is to hit this shot as best as I can.  Not the next shot. And not the shot I just hit.  
 

In my opinion you can’t truly mix the two.  

[Exactice808]

Lowest Hdcp was a 7, I probally shoot an 86 on any given day.  life changes.  priorities changes.  Unless I played golf for a living and someone paid me I have accepted the fact that the $60+ a round for green fees. require fun.

 

With my Young group, people in my age group, its usually at minimum a 6 pack for 18 holes.

 

With the older group to whom I have seen deteriorate and struggle.  while they dont drink on the course, we drink a lot after.  The actually score is not what we bet on, its the adjusted Match play and other mini games we throw into the mix.   Shooting for lowest score is completely meaningless.   I have seen this group shoot 70's and now.... barely break 90's. Their average score is likely 91. 

 

You can either hate the game or put so much pressure where its not a game anymore.  Or add some fun to it, and change your outlook.

 

The last point is..... put in GREATER effort to get back to your hey days.... but unfortunately time is not usually the kindest of friends.

 

 

GL OP!

 

[ChipNRun]

On 10/24/2020 at 5:29 PM, mvhoffman said:

 

I get frustrated, like I am now for making crap swings and wasting holes.  I really have to either go out and stop keeping a handicap and make it a "I was once a good golfer" or just really buckle down and make sure to properly set up, aim, you know... play golf. 

 

Reality check! You need to split golfing into two spheres.

 

Go out and play for fun with your scramble pals, and other people you know socially.

 

For challenge get involved in the local amateur circuit, and play in the one-day and two-day tournaments where you can really step into the golf zone.

 

It appears you are expecting a tournament experience for weekly low-level scramble and best-ball events. Not realistic. I find it hard to focus when playing with the dudes.

 

Get fun playing with pals, and get challenge playing in local amateur circuit.

[mvhoffman]

12 hours ago, bladehunter said:

Op.  I get this.  What I do is simply to have two minds.  What I mean is -  if it’s a impromptu 9 with whoever .... I won’t even think score. I’ll converse , walk and enjoy the fresh air and just see the shot and hit it. Most times won’t even use the range finder.  
 

if it’s for score - I’m opposite.   I may talk while walking from shot to shot. But I’m focused around the ball.  And the only focus is to hit this shot as best as I can.  Not the next shot. And not the shot I just hit.  
 

In my opinion you can’t truly mix the two.  

you hit the nail on the head!

[mvhoffman]

6 hours ago, Extra Stiff said:

Finding that "switch" is what commentators say when seeing (insert dominant pro's name) Tiger, Rory, Brooks, DJ, etc... dominating in pressure situations the so-called "it" or "X" factor. I think it takes supreme concetration to get to that level! I know in tournmanet play it's almost automatic for me but it wasn't always like that. I had to consciously let the nerves take over to get into that mindset. The mind and body have to be balanced.

 

Happy to hear you are having fun! What kind of courses do you play out there?

ES we have everything from the local 6000 yard Muni (4 minutes from my house) to the 2 x 7200 yard private club ( one 5 mins from my house, one 10 mins) that had previously been on the rotation for the now Korn Ferry Tour and Champions Tour.  I am fortunate to live in a great area to golf with very old school courses.  I am in the Pocono area (Scranton, PA area... yes... The Office) we have everything from Tillinghast built courses to original Donald Ross course that hosted LPGA, All-Star Golf, Champions Tour and is actually a public course that is under $50.  Literally surrounded by amazing courses.

[llewol007]

Develop a better perspective. I was in the same place you were getting frustrated if I didnt shoot my handicap which at the time was a 4. After playing with guys who are legit high level golfers, it makes me take a deep breath and take it in stride. Like many have said, this is not your day job so dont treat it like such. I get out maybe once a week if not once every other week. I shoot low to mid 70's but on occasion I shoot in the 80's which for me is frustrating. But I know for what I put into the game, I will have my Ebb and flows of the game. Come back next round and play again. It is always gonna be you against the course. Thats it. 

[RoyalMustang]

On 10/24/2020 at 5:29 PM, mvhoffman said:

I'm a weekend warrior golfer.  I play to a current 5.8 handicap.  I went out today with 3 friends for an extremely casual round/team match.  Square on the front, lost on the back.  I carried our team 8/9 holes on the front but on the back I just kind of lost it.  Well, I can't say that I lost it, I just didn't take the time to properly set up, proper stance, swayed instead of turning causing a big uncommon fade, followed by some frustration.  Now I had a blast today but would have loved to win.  I have never been really competitive on the course, I simply just haven't.  I just enjoy getting out there and playing.   

 

I get frustrated, like I am now for making crap swings and wasting holes.  I really have to either go out and stop keeping a handicap and make it a "I was once a good golfer" or just really buckle down and make sure to properly set up, aim, you know... play golf.  

 

I am leaning towards the playing golf option... I love going out and smacking a ball around but at the end of the day having to say, "well we lost because I shot 10 strokes over what I normally do... but we had fun" urks the sh!t out of me.  I have to actually do a routine for every shot and stick with it, now and over the snowy Northeast winter.  

 

Im playing in the morning with my normal walking crew tomorrow morning.  I will be playing golf.

 

I wouldn't say that a 5.8 handicap is a "weekend warrior".  Even if you only play once a week, you obviously have put in the time elsewhere to score well.  

 

I am similar: if I don't take my time, I make dumb (really dumb) mistakes. Duffing a chip.  Aiming to the wrong area.  Misreading a putt.  I can BS all day long but if it carries over to the 30 seconds before I swing, I am lost.  

[chippa13]

I have hit some of the best shots of my golfing life while still listening or engaging in BS.

[naval2006]

On 10/27/2020 at 7:35 AM, mvhoffman said:

ES we have everything from the local 6000 yard Muni (4 minutes from my house) to the 2 x 7200 yard private club ( one 5 mins from my house, one 10 mins) that had previously been on the rotation for the now Korn Ferry Tour and Champions Tour.  I am fortunate to live in a great area to golf with very old school courses.  I am in the Pocono area (Scranton, PA area... yes... The Office) we have everything from Tillinghast built courses to original Donald Ross course that hosted LPGA, All-Star Golf, Champions Tour and is actually a public course that is under $50.  Literally surrounded by amazing courses.

And the pizza, don’t forget the pizza

[miamistomp]

On 10/27/2020 at 6:35 AM, mvhoffman said:

ES we have everything from the local 6000 yard Muni (4 minutes from my house) to the 2 x 7200 yard private club ( one 5 mins from my house, one 10 mins) that had previously been on the rotation for the now Korn Ferry Tour and Champions Tour.  I am fortunate to live in a great area to golf with very old school courses.  I am in the Pocono area (Scranton, PA area... yes... The Office) we have everything from Tillinghast built courses to original Donald Ross course that hosted LPGA, All-Star Golf, Champions Tour and is actually a public course that is under $50.  Literally surrounded by amazing courses.

 and dont forget CONEY ISLAND TEXAS LUNCH

  My grandfather used to take me there and I still stop in when visiting family in that area