Time to make the big decision

[mvhoffman]

8 hours ago, miamistomp said:

 and dont forget CONEY ISLAND TEXAS LUNCH

  My grandfather used to take me there and I still stop in when visiting family in that area

next time you visit bring your clubs and we can get out for a round

 

[Fairway14]

The "big decision" one makes is who to marry.

[mvhoffman]

6 hours ago, Fairway14 said:

The "big decision" one makes is who to marry.

my decision happened 8 years ago to my best friend who even with a new baby lets me get to the course usually every Sat and Sun mornings for my dew sweeping session

[jdl]

On 10/26/2020 at 8:10 AM, Roody said:

This topic actually hits home for me, especially this year. I've gotten down to my lowest handicap ever (I'm a 5.6 now, but I was even down to a 4.9 for a couple days this season). I have worked on trying to be better, trying to focus on the golf course, and I'm playing well as a result. 

 

However, here's the downside. Recently a friend whom I played many rounds with this season, he started to act funny towards me in the past few weeks. I noticed, and eventually I reached out to ask him if I did something to tick him off. In a nutshell he said "you're not fun to play golf with anymore. When you're on the course you seem to focus on nothing but yourself. And when you're playing well, you seem arrogant to me. Especially when I am not playing well. I play golf to have a good time, I don't care so much about score. But that's all you seem to care about. And you never encourage me when I'm in a rut".

 

Notwithstanding the fact that apparently I am a horrible person to play with on the golf course, it did get me thinking. I thought I was "just playing golf", I didn't realize my actions came off as arrogant and self-centered. In my mind, I was just trying to focus on my game and do my best to shoot a good score. I get enjoyment out of shooting a good shot. I just figured "I do my thing, you do yours, we chat it up some during the round, and we meet afterwards in the bar for beers". I never meant any of my actions to come off as belittling or anything negative to him. 

That said, I think I have a decision to make. Either I try to adjust my behavior to be "less focused" so I can play golf with friends like this guy who don't take the game too seriously. Or I start to play more golf with the more serious guys, usually the early morning guys. I've played with them a bit over the years, and they're very like-minded.

Honestly, I am leaning towards playing with the more serious-minded guys. I view each 18 holes as a test of me versus the golf course. If I don't focus, I get lax and have more blowup holes. And to me that's not fun. 

Scrambles are for goofing off and drinking beers, IMO. 

I realized this a few years ago, to really play well I kind of need to be a little "distant" on the course, which isn't tough as I'm a natural introvert anyway. I try and balance it out, makes it worse that I'm also someone who likes to play fast. So many times I get taken out of that "bubble" by guys I'm playing with for various reasons. I'm trying to get better at compartmentalizing my game from the rest of the stuff, but it's not easy.

 

The pandemic has actually helped as more courses allow walking, which makes it a little easier not having to worry about a cart-mate for the day.

[golfandtennisfan]

I believe you can have your cake and eat it too. Keep your handicap but don't think about it and don't add up score til the end (it really helps me). Enjoy your golf and buddies and at the end, check your stats (assuming you keep track which i hope you do) and your tendencies and see what you can learn from it. Everyone has bad days and bad swings/holes no matter how good they are. Adjust expectations up or down based on conditions that day. Review and then throw away and forget the round. Look forward to your next round and try to apply at least a few things you learned even from a bad round (poor driving day, poor chipping, consistent left or right miss of the day, etc). Rinse and repeat. It is progress not perfection that we can attain. Good luck.

[chippa13]

All these guys who think they need to be misanthropes to play their best and yet, in all my days of pairing with strangers, the guys who impressed me the most as "players" always tended to be the most social/let's have fun types of the group.

Edited October 31, 2020 by chippa13

[Sean2]

If I am not playing well, it's hard for me to have fun. I put a lot of effort into this game and as a result have certain expectations. I don't expect to hit every shot perfect, but I do expect to hit more good shots than not. Sure I will have an off day, but that's to be expected, I will still grind it out and try to take some positives from the round. But overall, if I am playing poorly I am really not having much fun. 

[chippa13]

My mindset changed a few years ago. Now I laugh off most of the bad shots and that helps with not compounding the error. I no longer let one hole ruin my round but view the upcoming holes as a way to turn the round around. I shift my expectations and say to myself, "well, if I play the rest in x then I can still finish with y". My level of enjoyment regardless of the score has increased immensely.

[JDennis]

I just enjoy getting out on the course. Whether by myself, a group of buddies or league.  I never let it get to me, I am not a pro. Some days I have it, some days I don't.

[NRJyzr]

I realize this doesn't really translate well to the subject at hand, but I can't help but think of it.  Especially as an occasionally frustrated 7 hdcp trying to get back to the 5 level he visited a few years ago.

 

Bruce Edwards caddied for both Greg Norman and Tom Watson.  This is an excerpt from Joe Posnanski's book, "The Secret of Golf."

 

People would often ask Edwards to explain the difference between Watson and Norman. Here were two talented men, two larger-than-life figures, and yet Watson won eight major championships while Norman won only two. Edwards mostly avoided the topic. Good caddies tell no tales. But one day, near the end of his life, Edwards spoke about the two men.

 

“I guess it comes down to this,” he said. “When Greg hits a bad shot, he takes it very hard. He will say, ‘Why didn’t I get a kick left?’ or ‘Oh, that’s the worst place I could have hit it,” or ‘OK, there goes the tournament.’ He’s very hard on himself. And when Tom hits a bad shot, he will look at me, wink, and say: ‘Just watch how I get out of this one.’ ”

 

For some reason, the above helps me keep perspective, both when I play with folks who play less well than I do, *and* with folks who are better than me.

 

Edited November 2, 2020 by NRJyzr

[mvhoffman]

16 hours ago, NRJyzr said:

I realize this doesn't really translate well to the subject at hand, but I can't help but think of it.  Especially as an occasionally frustrated 7 hdcp trying to get back to the 5 level he visited a few years ago.

 

Bruce Edwards caddied for both Greg Norman and Tom Watson.  This is an excerpt from Joe Posnanski's book, "The Secret of Golf."

 

People would often ask Edwards to explain the difference between Watson and Norman. Here were two talented men, two larger-than-life figures, and yet Watson won eight major championships while Norman won only two. Edwards mostly avoided the topic. Good caddies tell no tales. But one day, near the end of his life, Edwards spoke about the two men.

 

“I guess it comes down to this,” he said. “When Greg hits a bad shot, he takes it very hard. He will say, ‘Why didn’t I get a kick left?’ or ‘Oh, that’s the worst place I could have hit it,” or ‘OK, there goes the tournament.’ He’s very hard on himself. And when Tom hits a bad shot, he will look at me, wink, and say: ‘Just watch how I get out of this one.’ ”

 

For some reason, the above helps me keep perspective, both when I play with folks who play less well than I do, *and* with folks who are better than me.

 

I would say that I'm definitely not on the Norman side of things.  I always say "if I can see it, I can hit it."  While I get frustrated with myself hitting stupid shots, aiming right when i don't mean to, flipping my wrists when i want to keep the lag, I still continue to engage in the BS'ing and conversation on the course.  I like to walk so I can still be part of the group but still have enough time to get into my head when walking to my ball.  

 

One thing that I have to admit is that I am lazy.  I don't take the time over the ball to complete a preshot routine, I don't take the time on the greens to clean the ball all of the time and line up the putt.  I can say that I would be better off it I did that.

[glm]

Been there.

[straightshot7]

It's not just having a pre-shot routine or concentrating more on the course...

 

Put in more time on the driving range/chipping green/putting green and your scores will eventually go down.

 

I know, Captain Obvious. But it's true. 

[Dpavs]

Keep your handicap but don't get frustrated if it slides from time to time. Put in the amount of work on your game that you feel comfortable with and that fits your lifestyle. Focus on enjoying the game and setting realistic expectations for yourself. Be aware that these will change over time.

 

IMO.. If you do not, there will all too quickly come a time when even doing your best will feel very disappointing.

Edited November 20, 2020 by Dpavs

[T Creer]

Sounds like you started thinking too much. 

 

[mvhoffman]

2 hours ago, T Creer said:

Sounds like you started thinking too much. 

 

Just being lazy and not taking a proper set up to the ball.  No proper pre-shot routine has caused my swing to go more over the top and slice/push the ball.  I played on the weekend and the first 9 holes were horrible until I took the proper time and then it was great.  Remembering proper set up/alignment followed by an axe chop swing instead of a pick axe keeps elbow in, left arm straight and width of my swing.  Feels so much better properly swinging the club

 

[T Creer]

I find putting set-up is the most important. The missed 4 footer counts as many strokes as the 300 yrd drive. 

[RIRider]

It's been said several times already. Keep it fun.

[alpineto]

On 10/24/2020 at 6:29 PM, mvhoffman said:

I'm a weekend warrior golfer.  I play to a current 5.8 handicap.  I went out today with 3 friends for an extremely casual round/team match.  Square on the front, lost on the back.  I carried our team 8/9 holes on the front but on the back I just kind of lost it.  Well, I can't say that I lost it, I just didn't take the time to properly set up, proper stance, swayed instead of turning causing a big uncommon fade, followed by some frustration.  Now I had a blast today but would have loved to win.  I have never been really competitive on the course, I simply just haven't.  I just enjoy getting out there and playing.   

 

I get frustrated, like I am now for making crap swings and wasting holes.  I really have to either go out and stop keeping a handicap and make it a "I was once a good golfer" or just really buckle down and make sure to properly set up, aim, you know... play golf.  

 

I am leaning towards the playing golf option... I love going out and smacking a ball around but at the end of the day having to say, "well we lost because I shot 10 strokes over what I normally do... but we had fun" urks the sh!t out of me.  I have to actually do a routine for every shot and stick with it, now and over the snowy Northeast winter.  

 

Im playing in the morning with my normal walking crew tomorrow morning.  I will be playing golf.

You need to play some competition golf as in match play , are there any local clubs with teams close to you ? you don't have to join a private club to play competitive golf , lots of public course's have teams and tournaments , check out your local MGA and they'll guide you in the right way , this will get your competitive blood going .