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Parents Golf is a long road


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I see this every year when tours wrap up with their championships.  It always bothers me because parents get so tense and even the kids do.

 

First off your kids performance is going to be what is. No amount of coaching before the round or even during (caddies) is going to help.  The time to do that is before you even enter them.  A kid is going to have a range they score.  If you can control the physics of not having bad luck on the golf course please fill us in I want to know how. I don't care if your the best player in the world or worst no one plays a perfect game all the time. 

 

The more I keep stats and things the deeper understanding I am learning score is a direct result of what you practice on. Nothing more nothing less eliminate what causes high scores and you will score low.  If things click it's going to be a good day.  Also most Juniors are not capable of scoring under par every time they go out. 

 

 

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1 minute ago, Medson said:

Quote from someone else. 

 

"Nobody cares about what your x-year-old kid shoot."

 

I know a lot people say this but a lot people do apparently and that is why they get so mad.     With golf what most people don't understand is you really can't control your competitor.   It really between you and the course. Some days the course wins some days you win.

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Just now, tiger1873 said:

 

I know a lot people say this but a lot people do apparently and that is why they get so mad.     With golf what most people don't understand is you really can't control your competitor.   It really between you and the course. Some days the course wins some days you win.

 

Oh, I completely understand why people are caught in the moment. Trust me, I do too. That's why I'm a big fan of process goals, not result goals. (I can expand on this, but I assume most of you are savvy enough to know what these are) 

 

Process goals are what we can control, result goals aren't. Nevertheless, there is a strong correlation between process goals and result goals. However, it is not a 1-to-1 direct impact. 

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1 hour ago, tiger1873 said:

 

I know a lot people say this but a lot people do apparently and that is why they get so mad.     With golf what most people don't understand is you really can't control your competitor.   It really between you and the course. Some days the course wins some days you win.

Easier said than done.  If every kid plays against the course then why do so many of them look at the field to see who is playing?  I see of lot of kids (mine included) get psyched out before the tournament even starts.  I hope he get over this sh*t asap.

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I also agree with one poster, it can be luck of the draw also. Nothing like shooting a good score and loose cause the other kid shot better. I told my kid deal with it, that will happen more then you can think. You do your best with what you have that day, i said there will be days you play terrible and beat your opponent. 

 

I try to tell her it is about what you have that day, not what you had in previous rounds. It is about fixing if you can or play what you have that day. 

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8 minutes ago, sheppy335 said:

Nothing like shooting a good score and loose cause the other kid shot better. I told my kid deal with it, that will happen more then you can think. You do your best with what you have that day, i said there will be days you play terrible and beat your opponent. 

 

Like most have said you can't be worried about how everyone else is playing. Although that is a lot easier said than done.

 

Some of the best advice I ever received was from my dad before I played in my first US Junior Am (the US Junior Am is match play for anyone who doesn't know). He said this is one of the only times when all you're trying to do is beat the person you are playing with. Every other time you have to play and focus only on your own game/round. If you put all your energy into trying to beat the people in your group that's when you get lazy and someone sneaks up on you from behind. 

 

 

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18 hours ago, kekoa said:

Easier said than done.  If every kid plays against the course then why do so many of them look at the field to see who is playing?  I see of lot of kids (mine included) get psyched out before the tournament even starts.  I hope he get over this sh*t asap.

 

I think what your describing is very common when kids start playing at a young age.  You play with the same kids week in week out the same kids win every week.  It's only natural you get psyched out.

 

Once you get older the field grows and suddenly it's a different person every week winning.  Had the same issues until we started to travel more.  

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1 hour ago, TripleBogeysrbetter said:

And we mean no one.  Sure if you get into the rankings or someone (coach) is out watching you.

 

I know it popular to say no ones cares but we are not talking about crazy short game kids and their parents. Their claims is what most of us refer to when we say no one cares.  It doesn't mean much but winning and doing well does mean something to parents and kids who are playing any given tournament. If not why play it.

 

The truth is everyone who plays golf and tournaments are looking at all the other players and what there score is. There is nothing wrong with that it just normal. 

 

Is also normal for parents to want their kids to do better.  It hard to be happy when you see your kid dunk a ball 3 or 4 times on a hole and blow up their score.  We have all been there and yes it hurts and will make you want to scream.

 

The big thing is knowing why they dunked that ball 4 times in the water and turn it into a positive not a negative. Like it has been said much easer said then done.

 

What I see is a lot parents get mad and I believe it is because they don't understand the root cause of the bad score. They also have a hard to accept that in some case it just plain dumb luck out there.

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

From the title of this post I thought it meant something else.

 

I know once our kid hit high school golf the season took up most of the year with that plus a junior tour she plays on. It starts in March and high school matches start in late June or early July. Things wrap up in October. There was a lot of running for us. It got easier this season once she started driving. It can consume most of your time but for me it’s been worth it. I’ve seen this kid who started playing golf in middle school grow to a young lady who made it to the state championship this year. It’s been an amazing journey to watch. 

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I think getting in tense situations will serve juniors well when they get older.  To a real competitive kid, how they play is going to mean a lot to them.  It's not a bad thing for them to leave disappointed some days.  Tension exists in all youth sports.  Kids can feel it when things matter more.  Let them get used to that at a young age.  It has certainly worked with my son.  My son is not a super talent but is a very solid player and his successes are fueled by his failures at a young age.  He also had some successes as a young junior that kept him believing in himself.  A variety in the level of competition is important for young golfers.

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On 12/9/2020 at 10:41 AM, TripleBogeysrbetter said:

And we mean no one.  Sure if you get into the rankings or someone (coach) is out watching you.

Define not caring.  If we are talking about the 10-13 yr old kid who finishes next to last every tournament then I agree.   If we are talking about the  accomplished tournament player who is  really good then I guaranty there are people outside of the kids immediate family/friends that care what they shoot.  I'm interested in what other kids shoot and how they finish in tournaments.  Does it change my day in any way? No.  But I do care otherwise I wouldn't look up their results.  

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