To play or not to play... that is the question

[leezer99]

Friend's kid recently qualified for a pretty elite tour in our area and the parents are conflicted on whether or not to sign the kid up for upcoming events.  One parent says the kid isn't ready to win on the tour and doesn't want to waste time or money on a middle of the pack finish.  The other parent says the kid should play to see how they measure up against the competition.

 

Thoughts?

[Edsland]

I would let the kid decide if he wants to play or not. 

[leezer99]

18 minutes ago, Edsland said:

I would let the kid decide if he wants to play or not. 

I’m not saying you are right or wrong but what are the benefits of that?

[ConcernedBoutCOVID]

I think a junior golfer should learn to win, or at least be in contention, consistently before moving up to the next level.

 

There is value in playing tournaments above their level to get experience and see where they are at, but I would only do this occasionally.

[jj9000]

Play.

 

Learning Experience.

 

Understanding what needs to do be done to get to the next level (if that's the goal).

[wildcatden]

As a parent, you are there to guide and support.  Provide the kid the “pro’s” (learning experience, see what you need to improve, etc....). Let them decide from there.

[Noles]

8 hours ago, leezer99 said:

Friend's kid recently qualified for a pretty elite tour in our area and the parents are conflicted on whether or not to sign the kid up for upcoming events.  One parent says the kid isn't ready to win on the tour and doesn't want to waste time or money on a middle of the pack finish.  The other parent says the kid should play to see how they measure up against the competition.

 

Thoughts?

How old of a child is he/she?

[leezer99]

1 hour ago, Noles said:

How old of a child is he/she?

14 year old 8th grader. 

[Noles]

28 minutes ago, leezer99 said:

14 year old 8th grader. 

I would let him/her decide.  

[tiger1873]

Kid should play a mixture of tournaments. If you qualified for a harder tournament assuming it is that they should play it.

 

money might be an issue so What they play might change.

 

But only playing tournaments you can win means you will never move up. If it is indeed an elite tour event play it

[kekoa]

5 hours ago, leezer99 said:

14 year old 8th grader. 

From the comments I would assume he is just ok?  At that age, the kid should have a say that way he will also be the tie breaker.  

 

At my son's age, he plays what I sign him up for.  Will be scary when he actually has a say in this stuff.  🙂

[BFD3]

27 minutes ago, kekoa said:

From the comments I would assume he is just ok?  At that age, the kid should have a say that way he will also be the tie breaker.  

 

At my son's age, he plays what I sign him up for.  Will be scary when he actually has a say in this stuff.  🙂

Unfortunately, my kids (12 and 9) have decided they have no interest in playing tournament golf any more. It’s sad because they both have beautiful swings and tremendous potential. My daughter’s instructor, who has coached several college golfers and who is not one to blow smoke, is convinced she was on track for a D1 scholarship. They still enjoy Jr League and I hope they change their minds but I’ve told them as long as they still play with me, it’s otherwise their choice.

[Medson]

Just now, BFD3 said:

Unfortunately, my kids (12 and 9) have decided they have no interest in playing tournament golf any more. It’s sad because they both have beautiful swings and tremendous potential. My daughter’s instructor, who has coached several college golfers and who is not one to blow smoke, is convinced she was on track for a D1 scholarship. They still enjoy Jr League and I hope they change their minds but I’ve told them as long as they still play with me, it’s otherwise their choice.

I like your attitude. I feel their interest might come back to golf. 

[kekoa]

17 minutes ago, BFD3 said:

Unfortunately, my kids (12 and 9) have decided they have no interest in playing tournament golf any more. It’s sad because they both have beautiful swings and tremendous potential. My daughter’s instructor, who has coached several college golfers and who is not one to blow smoke, is convinced she was on track for a D1 scholarship. They still enjoy Jr League and I hope they change their minds but I’ve told them as long as they still play with me, it’s otherwise their choice.

Its great that they told you this and even better that you listened.  I see a lot of kids at tournaments and practice areas who look plain miserable.  Many of them are afraid to be honest and up front with their parents.

[BFD3]

19 minutes ago, kekoa said:

Its great that they told you this and even better that you listened.  I see a lot of kids at tournaments and practice areas who look plain miserable.  Many of them are afraid to be honest and up front with their parents.

Thanks. They’re both passionate about lacrosse now so I’m helping coach both of their teams. It’s crazy to see how some parent force their kids to play sports that they obviously hate. At least in golf, they’re not getting hit! 

[leezer99]

7 hours ago, kekoa said:

From the comments I would assume he is just ok?  At that age, the kid should have a say that way he will also be the tie breaker.  

 

At my son's age, he plays what I sign him up for.  Will be scary when he actually has a say in this stuff.  🙂

 

Qualified for IMG Worlds and won a large college prep event recently.

[tiger1873]

8 hours ago, kekoa said:

From the comments I would assume he is just ok?  At that age, the kid should have a say that way he will also be the tie breaker.  

 

At my son's age, he plays what I sign him up for.  Will be scary when he actually has a say in this stuff.  🙂

 

 

Your almost there the first time  they complain about the poor event you signed  them up for is a shocker.  They never let you forget it.

 

Edited February 8, 2021 by tiger1873

[tiger1873]

7 hours ago, kekoa said:

Its great that they told you this and even better that you listened.  I see a lot of kids at tournaments and practice areas who look plain miserable.  Many of them are afraid to be honest and up front with their parents.

 

It's really bad with girls especially when parents think that scholarship money is easy.   I been to a few big tournaments where girls travel all over and half the girls don't want to be there. 

 

It leads to a lot problems like them throwing fits crying and just plain grumpy.  The worst are the ones who say they need to score low so they don't have to practice as much. 

 

The girls who like golf complain a lot about them.

[Abh159]

On 2/7/2021 at 6:54 AM, leezer99 said:

Friend's kid recently qualified for a pretty elite tour in our area and the parents are conflicted on whether or not to sign the kid up for upcoming events.  One parent says the kid isn't ready to win on the tour and doesn't want to waste time or money on a middle of the pack finish.  The other parent says the kid should play to see how they measure up against the competition.

 

Thoughts?

 

I say play in at least one of them. You never know what could happen the kid could play great and end up finishing really high on the leaderboard.

 

And if it doesn't go well then it will at least give them a really good idea as to where their game needs to be to compete at that level. As I've mentioned in other threads, if you want to try and be/become the best you should want to play against the best competition. 

 

 

 

 

[heavy_hitter]

Play.

 

It is golf and winning on any level is tough.  The kid isn't guaranteed wins on the lower tour.  Play up against the better players.  Raise the bar for the kid, don't lower it.

[heavy_hitter]

Us as parents tend to over think tournaments.  I am doing it right now with a couple of tournaments.  Just sign em up and let them play.  If there is a course that is known to be bad, don't play it.

[tiger1873]

Money is the real issue that kids don't play elite events when they really should be.   If you have to travel to it and pay tournament fee's and hotel rooms your talking at least $1000-$2000 for the weekend.

 

Some of us will spend that and not think twice but I really feel for the families that can't.  For a lot parents it just way too much money. 

 

If it was me I would enter my kid and play it but I also not worried about the cost so much. For other kids they have a limited number of events they realistically can attend. In that case they may want to skip a random event that they qualified for.

[RmoorePE]

I'm really interested in all of these replies. We have just wet our beaks in the junior golf world, but have a senior in High School who went all in on the club volleyball thing. She became a very good player and despite getting calls from a few smaller colleges and scads of junior colleges at the end of her Jr. year she lost interest. Gave up the club spot she had grinded so hard for and just is going to play her senior year out (Covid postponed games start tomorrow). She loved the tournament world at first, woke up on every tournament morning with a spring in her step and somewhere in the middle of junior club volleyball she lost interest. We made her play out that season as it was a team sport, but the 4am get up was not nearly as fun.

 

Looking at all of our other friends who had superbly athletic kids in volleyball, baseball and fastpitch. It seems like the burn out in the first year of college is pretty common. I would say about 80% of the girls I know. Hell, I went to college on a soccer scholarship and flamed out after my Freshman season. I couldn't handle school and sports together.

 

So with my younger two we girls are taking a much more relaxed approach. We saved for their colleges, and so no pressure there. Our goal is going to be quality family time before all else, and not stressing ourselves out running every weekend. So with golf I am going to let my daughter take the lead, but completely plan on skipping lots of available tournaments. I want her to stay hungry for them.

[leezer99]

54 minutes ago, RmoorePE said:

We saved for their colleges, and so no pressure there.

 

Might be one of the smartest parents in this forum.

[kcap]

Going back to the original question. 
 

There are several reason for not playing a tournament..  time, money, final placing or impact on ranking? 
 

Time and money is a very personal issue and hard for outsider to opine about. 

I would not care much about the other player or where my kids might pace. The only factor that I would consider is the impact an high score in a elite tournament (assuming the distance are longer then normal) would have on ranking.  Scoring 3-5 strokes above normal just because you played a stupidly long course.. I don’t see the benefit of that.  We played long as a 12-13 year old cause I don’t  think JGS mattered for that age.  it does for a 14-15 -16 yr old. ..

 

 

[kekoa]

6 hours ago, leezer99 said:

 

Qualified for IMG Worlds and won a large college prep event recently.

In that case.  Play play play!!!  IMG seems to attract top notch fields.  Not sure how it will pan out this year, but a lot of the best foreign kids may or may not show up.  Very good test especially if he gets to play Torrey.

[chrissdc]

17 hours ago, leezer99 said:

 

Qualified for IMG Worlds and won a large college prep event recently.

If the kid is interested in college golf and would be playing the 15-18 division for Junior World, he should definitely play. For girls it seems as if there are 3-4 coaches on every hole and when I checked out the boys on the South course, seems as if 5-6 coaches on every hole. 

If it is the 13-14 year old division, it is not really that big a deal as far as coaches watching. Still a good event to see where a kid stacks up against good competition.

[sui generis]

Some years ago I was refereeing at an important AJGA girls championship. There were many college coaches walking the cart paths. I spoke with several and asked each what they were looking for. Their reply was, "We already know what these players can do, we just want them to see us following them."

[chrissdc]

2 hours ago, sui generis said:

Some years ago I was refereeing at an important AJGA girls championship. There were many college coaches walking the cart paths. I spoke with several and asked each what they were looking for. Their reply was, "We already know what these players can do, we just want them to see us following them."

Good point

I have seen and heard about kids crumbling the few times a coach or coaches come to watch them. 

[BFD3]

59 minutes ago, chrissdc said:

Good point

I have seen and heard about kids crumbling the few times a coach or coaches come to watch them. 

I think they also want to see how kids behave. Bad temperament and attitude can cost kids offers, even very talented kids.

Edited February 9, 2021 by BFD3