How Do You Talk To Friends About Pace of Play?

[chrismikayla]

I am friends with two great guys who struggle with pace of play for different reasons. One has a very long pre-shot, pre-putt routine. The other will look for lost ball for several minutes regardless of how deep the trouble is where the ball has landed. He also will methodically clean his clubs for about a minute after finishing out each hole before getting in the cart. On average it takes us about 4.5 hours to finish a round as a threesome. I have tried giving hints to them about just dropping, etc, but nothing has changed. What ways have you guys helped friends improve their pace of play? I figure at this point my options are stop playing with them, accept it, or only play 9 holes with them.

[dlygrisse]

“Hey dumbass, hurry up, we don’t have all day!”  

[chrismikayla]

3 minutes ago, dlygrisse said:

“Hey dumbass, hurry up, we don’t have all day!”  

You may be right since my other approaches have not worked.

[dlygrisse]

7 minutes ago, chrismikayla said:

You may be right since my other approaches have not worked.

The guys I play with have no issue with a lot of trash talking and a little in your face candor.  Simply a "come on let's go, there are people pushing us and we are falling behind" might be a little more diplomatic, but in my opinion being passive-aggressive never really works.   If you can say it in a way that gets your point across in a crystal clear way with a little good natured humor thrown in, then all the better.  

 

The old "those old ladies walking behind us are going to ask to play through if you don't hit the ball" works as well.  🙂

 

Edited March 1, 2021 by dlygrisse

[Loose_Ferrule]

57 minutes ago, dlygrisse said:

“Hey dumbass, hurry up, we don’t have all day!”  

I too like this approach...

 

Having said that we have a few in our regular groups as well. I like to tell them that if everyone in the group takes 20 seconds less per hole its about 20 mins for the round. It makes them stop and think and they realize how easy it really is to play faster.

Edited March 1, 2021 by Simmer7

[dlygrisse]

Thinking about this topic, the person in our group who tends to slow things down will spend 10 minutes looking for a lost ball in the rough if you let him.  My latest tactic has been to say out loud when we get to the area to begin the search is "the new rule is 3 MINUTES, the clock is ticking"  

[llewol007]

I hate slow play so for me, there is no nice guy here. I say hey lets pick it up we are falling behind. Reason for me to be as straight forward about it is I hate waiting in my own group if my group is slow. It makes me play faster and rush everything on the account of a couple of slow players. Sometimes it is just a friendly reminder that does it. Other than that, I just store that in the dont play with this guy next time bank. 🙂

[GSDriver]

Good Lord, we play 27 holes in 4 1/2 hours....get a move on or find different playing partners.

[Ferguson]

Be straight and to the point.   Pace is important. 

Ready golf, as I say. 

[texcellence86]

I never say anything, because as soon as that same scenario happens to you then you won't hear the end of it.

 

If yall are playing 3s, I would say to ride alone and play at your own pace, if they get mad at you for playing too fast, that's their problem.

 

I know not everyone feels this way, but no matter who is playing if you're ready, go ahead. That's normally the outlook I have on the round and normally I'm not always the 1st to pull the trigger.

[caniac6]

We have a guy that has to look for balls a lot, and he takes a lot of time. I help for a bit, and go to my ball. I've only been a member at my club since September, so I don't really say anything. 

[Gsea]

[PhlashPhace]

Hurry the $#@^ up or find another $%^@#$% group.

[Pepperturbo]

I am not one to mix words.  If someone I am playing with is holding up PoP, I tell them clearly, speed up.  We're holding up play.  I do it that way presuming they are adults and expect them to handle truth.  For the most part, those that are slow know they are slow, and know it's a problem.  If they are reactive to that fact, then they are reactive about other things too.  Not the kind of people I would play with much less have as friends.  Maturity is a part of golf.

Edited March 1, 2021 by Pepperturbo

[lefthack]

This is why I play solo 95% of the time. If I am playing in a group or with my son, I enjoy it regardless of pace.

 

But I would have issues if folks I played with took forever. But In also not shy about saying so. 

[dlygrisse]

Years ago a friend of mine wanted to learn to play golf, I took him under my wing, got him set up with some clubs and took him to the range a few times.  He never became a great player, rarely breaking 100, but I told him the first time we went to play golf.  "Look you suck, no one cares if you suck, just play quickly and no one will care how bad you suck"  He took it to heart, and a couple of times I almost had to slow him down as he may have been hitting his 5th shot out of turn, but he learned to just walk up the the ball and whack it, and move forward without fiddling around.  

[jomatty]

Personally I’d just not play with them.  If they are really good friends then maybe it’s worth it to try to talk with them, but most that are willing to hold up play are either 1. Oblivious to the fact they are holding up others or 2. Don’t care that they are holding up others.  I don’t really want to spend 4 hours with either type.  
When I’m paired up with very slow people I let people play through if we are holding people up.  Sometimes that makes them hurry up, but slow players just seem to not be able to change...

[lefthack]

I have been known to tell folks "I will buy you a sleeve of balls, let's go."

[j_giesler]

Drop a few ‘ready golf’ reminders and gently tell them to speed it up 

[MtlJeff]

I've had success with this:

 

"Hey Man, i have to talk to you about something pretty serious"

"Oh sh*t, what's up?"

"I slept with your wife"

"Whaattttttt????, you son of a...Are you being serious?"

"Relax man, i didn't actually do that LOL, though i could if i wanted....Really you're just slow at golf"

 

See, you start with something way worse. And then the slow play thing doesn't sound as bad

[dubbelbogey]

Honestly, in all the many years I've played, I've only had to do this a couple of times with friends. And in both cases, it was a direct - "Hey guys, we need to speed it up." It's just as simple as that.

 

I don't say "you're a slow player" or "stop wasting your time looking for that used Pinnacle" or "hurry it up, slowpoke". State the issue and assume (at least at first) they're going to take it on themselves to fix it. All of my golf playing friends would have zero issue around this approach.

 

Passive aggressive hints are just going to make a frustrated player more frustrated. 

 

But, I do play about 90% of my rounds as a single with folks that I've likely never played with before. In those situations, I just grin and bear it as I have no information on how these strangers will react. Happily this is rarely a problem.

 

 

[Soloman1]

I agree with being direct. Just say it. People are generally clueless now and hinting at things went out with manners and etiquette a decade or so ago.

 

You can buffer the direct part with a funny opening, such as: "Hey (insert name here), our clothes are going out of style waiting for you! You gotta get moving, this is ridiculous."

 

Or, "I have a plane to catch tomorrow, you need to get moving. If you don't hurry up, we're going to leave you here and you can play by yourself..."

[CortezTheKiller]

3 hours ago, Pepperturbo said:

I am not one to mix words.  If someone I am playing with is holding up PoP, I tell them clearly, speed up.  We're holding up play.  I do it that way presuming they are adults and expect them to handle truth.  For the most part, those that are slow know they are slow, and know it's a problem.  If they are reactive to that fact, then they are reactive about other things too.  Not the kind of people I would play with much less have as friends.  Maturity is a part of golf.

 

Agreed. I don't have any friends, so I'm always the single calling out the threesome of buddies for their slothful ways. "We are half a hole behind," is usually how it starts. I'm not aggressive about it. I play public courses. Rounds are long enough when folks are mostly about their business, and it's totally fine to look for your (or my) ball. But I am regularly astonished how little concern some golfers show for the effect of their actions or attitude on those around them. Poor form.

Edited March 2, 2021 by CortezTheKiller

[cardoustie]

Guys need to be told - firmly and seriously - that part of golf is pace of play and respect of others

 

tell them in carts it should be 3;15 to 3:30.  So you are losing 3 minutes a hole.  Ask them why they think this is fine?

 

as Cortez above says, mind blowing how many are clueless or unaware 

 

true story.  One of our guys in days past was so soooo slow.  Cart path only day he could walk back and forth to the cart 3 times .... multiple clubs, laser, cigar lighting etc.  Call the clown on it ... “ what’s the hurry, nobody is out here and I am having a great time”

 

never played with him again

 

this guy, like your 2 buds, had no concept that his actions dragged down other people’s experiences.  It’s not a race but for too many it’s a slow stroll

 

 

[TiScape]

I’ll tell my son. If your gonna take that long it better be one hell of a shot/putt! 
You’ve tried dropping hints. Time to just tell em. 

Edited March 2, 2021 by TIScape

[phizzy30]

My weekend group plays extremely fast.  Our thing is that we have other things to do besides spending 5+hours on the course.  We usually finish in 3. 5 to 4 hours on average unless the course is backed up.  When a group is holding 2 or more groups up we usually ask if we can play through if there is no group ahead.  It's 50/50.  Some realize they are slow and let us through and others don't.  That's when I will ask them to hurry it up and that there are several groups waiting on them.  Most of the time they get the clue and speed up.  I believe that there is no reason to be a total dick in asking a group to speed up.  Treat others how you want to be treated is my motto.  Now if they start disrespecting then that's another story. 

[Christen_The_Sloop]

What I wouldn`t give to be on the golf course for 5 hours...

 

Seriously though, it sucks when your playing partner is so slow they become a problem. When I was younger, I used to call out whoever it was, using many of the same one-liners you`ve already read, but now - read the first sentence again. You could be working. 

[Loki]

One of my league partners is SLOW. He asked me to play four years ago in the league partly because we have the same GolfTEC coach. I suspect that his former partner tired of his slow ways but don't know who it is. I was told by a FC that his preshot was four minutes! Our swing coach "improved" his preshot to about a minute. When I time him, he disputes when I should start the clock, LOL. He plays in another league with mutual friends and they beach about him all the time.

 

Last year in the playoffs, the league coming called him out in a league email because of limited sunlight in the upcoming playoffs.

 

I didn't ask him to go to Ireland and he isn’t asked to go to Scotland this year. The only time I play with him is league.

 

He has the ego of a house and every time one talks to him about slow play, he pushes back.

 

He asked out of playing league this year and I found another partner. Not sure if I will play with him again.

 

Very, nice genuine guy, but slow at golf.

[ArtMBgolf]

A lot depends on if they want to learn good etiquette.  
 
It also depends on if you want to change them from 5 hour golfers to 4 hours.  
That isn't too hard if they try to learn and care.   
If you want to change from 4 hours to 3 hours, they really have to want to.   
 
On a busy course, I think it's important to have them look at the gap between
the group ahead and the group behind.    
 
On a empty course, it will require saving time and eliminating bad habits.   
Golfers who play under 4 hours are not rushing, they just don't waste time and 
play when it's their turn.     Only ballhawk if you are waiting on every shot.      

[lefty1978]

Yeah, I hate slow play more than anything in golf.