Playing partners with substance issues

[schaperb90]

I have been in the exact place. Most of my old golf buddies are exactly as you describe. The most annoying part is how slow play becomes because they need to "pack a bowl" or whatever before they come to the tee box. I never fully confronted them. I expressed my frustrations with it all a couple of times, but no one seemed to care so I just slowly stopped playing with them. They were at one time my main group, but now I haven't played with them in probably 3 years. They gave me trouble as I faded away, and I thought about saying what was truly going on, but, if you've ever known an addict, they don't think rationally. In one ear and out the other and just ridicule you for saying it. Not worth my time. I would advise you to attempt the same thing. 

[MUNIGRIT]

Is this your buddy? 

[rd1959]

On 8/19/2022 at 12:31 PM, MUNIGRIT said:

Is this your buddy? 

He's just a supernova getting near the point of burning out.

Edited September 18, 2022 by rd1959

[Wonder Bread]

Live and let live.  
 

I don’t do do drugs but do enjoy some cold beers in the course.

 

Stay away from druggies and don’t book tee times with them…that’s what I do.  I can’t keep my head in the game when surrounded by that crap anyways.  

it’s why I generally don’t play in scrambles LOL

 

[hellojude]

Even if they quit it won't be the same. Find new guys to play with 

[King_Slender]

Have a partner in league who it's gotten to the point that I finally need to pull the ripcord on our golf relationship after this season.  We've been golf partners for almost a decade, played and had good success in Member-Guests, but his life has devolved into a shitshow and he has no desire to change.

 

• Lost his job because spent most days at the casino/strip club
• Lost his marriage (because he was never home)
• Now banging a chick 30 years his junior and likely has a kid with her
  • Oh, she's married too and it's as much of a Jerry Springer situation as you can imagine
• Has to track down every cart girl and chat her up 
• Can't play a round without drinking excessively (4 double vodka/Red Bulls and 3-4 shots would be average) and going through a pack of cigs
  • Can't recall the last round we played where he didn't say "I'm f****** drunk"
• Every conversation is about how horny he is, the chick he's banging, and other chicks he hits up on dating apps - I've flat out told him I have ZERO interest in hearing about it. Doesn't matter - he's telling me anyway. 
• We've stopped inviting him to weekend rounds because he's cancelled last minute 3-4 times because he was probably visiting the chick he's banging and didn't want to drive back for golf

AHHHHHHH!!!!!   LOL

 

 

 

 

[biglou11]

Tough issue.  I also had a friend with similar issues.  His was mostly alcohol when we played, but I later learned some dark things about his past- not from him but from other guys I played with who also knew him.  Apparently, he had been involved with cocaine and other drugs long before I knew him.  It even cost him his license to practice Law.  We never really talked about these past abuse/addiction issues.  We played together at least once a week for almost 10 yrs, but mostly didn't socialize off the course.

Then things started changing with him.  He started having marital problems, then financial problems.  We slowly stopped playing together as often.  I reached out to him and asked if something had happened between us because he just kept coming up with excuses not to play.  Then his wife filed for divorce, and posted on social media that it was a long time coming, and she was just happy to be out of this abusive relationship.  The final straw was when he got involved in breaking and entering, and was arrested.  I've run into him a couple times in town since, but we haven't played golf together again.  I feel bad for him, but also know I need to stay away to protect my own family and career

[charli]

On 5/7/2022 at 7:02 PM, Lobby said:

Some people can't do anything without drinking, without marijuana, or even without harder drugs.

Life's too short.   Just walk away.

I was expecting something different at the end. I thought you were going with life’s too short… join them. Had me laughing 

[tgrabowske]

I think most of the people are correct! You dont need those kind of people around you! Personally I have friends who smoke weed on the course but that doesnt bother me as my states going to be legal soon anyway and what they do is up to them. Beer/Weed unless someone just goes to the golf course to get drunk I am totally fine with, anything more than that id most certainly never play with them again. Keep that stuff at home.

[basshunter545]

On 4/15/2021 at 11:07 AM, xKono said:

Some of my friends have done coke on the tee box before. I mostly golf with other friends now because I want to have a few beers in a round.

I lost a bag on the first tee box once... LOL the 80 year old starter found it, knew what it was and thought it was the group behind us.   Long time ago, I don't party like that anymore but it makes a hilarious story.