Need some major advice

[HawkFan03]

My boy played in an event today and I found out he had his slope feature on and was using it. He’s 15 years old, knew it was on, knew it was against the rules.

 

I’m beyond disappointed and upset, and am taking this very seriously. I’m not sure how to handle this.

 

Make him tell his coach? Make him notify those in charge of the event?

 

My wife and daughter think I’m blowing this out of proportion with the “I’m sure many do it”. But I give two craps about other kids, this is my son who I’m trying to raise to be honest and respect the game, etc.

 

Thoughts? How should I handle this?

 

Thanks

 

 

[lefthack]

That's a tough one. On the one hand, my guess is he's far from the only one doing it. On the other, he is breaking the rules. 

 

It seems like something that not only would be pretty easy to get away with, but also does it REALLY give that big of an advantage? I mean, he's already using a rangefinder, not like he's thumbing through a range book.

[caniac6]

Do they still make them without the slope? If so, give him one of those. I don’t think I’d make too big a deal out of it, but I’ make sure he never did it again. 

Edited June 8, 2021 by caniac6

[Murphy76]

I would consult Patrick Reed on this topic.

 

 

[JeffreySpicoli]

He played in an event and he broke the rules.

 

He should contact the appropriate person for the event, admit to what he did, and ask that he be disqualified.

 

Honesty and integrity are earned. And easily lost. Teach him the right thing.

[betarhoalphadelta]

4 minutes ago, JeffreySpicoli said:

He played in an event and he broke the rules.

 

He should contact the appropriate person for the event, admit to what he did, and ask that he be disqualified.

 

Honesty and integrity are earned. And easily lost. Teach him the right thing.

 

Agreed 100%. He's 15. This isn't going to destroy him.

 

Because if he gets a bad reputation...

 

14 minutes ago, Murphy76 said:

I would consult Patrick Reed on this topic.

 

 

That's how it ends. 

[golfandfishing]

11 minutes ago, JeffreySpicoli said:

He played in an event and he broke the rules.

 

He should contact the appropriate person for the event, admit to what he did, and ask that he be disqualified.

 

Honesty and integrity are earned. And easily lost. Teach him the right thing.

This is correct. Also as a dad I would smash that rangefinder into a million pieces. He buys the replacement, one that does not have slope. 

[PJE]

Withdraw/DQ on his own volition. Notify who needs to know: The coach, if it was a high school team event, and the tournament director. 

A lesson learned and he moves on. 

[bcski]

Meh, give him a talking to, let the coach now so he can have him DQ'd...  Trust me this is an everyday thing in competition with range finders.  I am in the camp of full range finders with slope should be legal in all competitions...  (I know, I know not a popular belief, don't want to derail)

[tatertot]

Let him DQ himself ...

 

I can't believe the "not a big deal" and "everybody does it" answers. 

 

It's been said golf doesn't build character, it reveals it ... but P.G. Wodehouse said it best .

 

"Golf… is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.” 

 

 

 

 

[Hawkeye77]

Not clear on the coach/event relationship. If it’s his instructor not sure that matters unless there was some connection to the event. 
 

The event is over and probably too late for a real DQ. If the event considers it not too late I’d probably have my kid explain what was done and ask to have a DQ noted.  If he won anything that should be coming the next player down’s way that should be dealt with. 
 

Otherwise it’s left at a good discussion and hopefully contrition. Maybe he gets to play the next event with just the eyeballs, lol. 
 

Seriously, it’s an issue but such a father/son thing I hate to say more. You’ll know what to do and the two of you will get it right. 

Edited June 9, 2021 by Hawkeye77

[HawkFan03]

Thanks for the replies.

 

It was a coed event with a girl in his high school. His hs coach was in attendance.

 

Not some big tournament or anything but to me it doesn’t make a difference.

Edited June 9, 2021 by HawkFan03

[Hawkeye77]

51 minutes ago, HawkFan03 said:

Thanks for the replies.

 

It was a coed event with a girl in his high school. His hs coach was in attendance.

 

Not some big tournament or anything but to me it doesn’t make a difference.

Iowa? My daughter played in it years ago if it’s the one I think it is!

 

Then yes, coach needs to know. Still may be too late under the rules for a DQ and if so may not be worth going that route, but if not it’s the right thing to do - tough lesson with a partner involved. All IMO. 
 

Good luck and again, all up to the two of you, whatever you decide is right. 

[Pmookie]

5 hours ago, HawkFan03 said:

My boy played in an event today and I found out he had his slope feature on and was using it. He’s 15 years old, knew it was on, knew it was against the rules.

 

I’m beyond disappointed and upset, and am taking this very seriously. I’m not sure how to handle this.

 

Make him tell his coach? Make him notify those in charge of the event?

 

My wife and daughter think I’m blowing this out of proportion with the “I’m sure many do it”. But I give two craps about other kids, this is my son who I’m trying to raise to be honest and respect the game, etc.

 

Thoughts? How should I handle this?

 

Thanks

 

 

I don’t make a big deal out of it, no anger or disappointment toward the young man, but I do have him call those in-charge of the tournament and explain what happened and let them make a determination. Support him, be positive about it explaining how this very instance makes our game a great one. Be positive!!!

[ArtMBgolf]

Unless he won the event or finished high enough to win something, there 
is no need to bring it up to the coach/event.   
 
Just talk to your son about it.    If the rest of the team is doing it, then 
maybe the coach should know.     
 
Unless you have a lot of really steep slopes, it's not much help when it 
adds or subtracts a couple yards.      

[Mustard_Tiger]

This is something that needs to be nipped in the bud. I can't believe people are saying it's no big deal and nothing needs to be done at this point. If it were my son I'd recommend two things:

 

1) Either you, he, or his coach notifies the event organizer and lets them know of the infraction. Then they can decide what to do with it. Maybe nothing, but at least you let them decide rather than saying nothing. This public exposure, and the shame that comes with it (even if they say nothing can be done), has value.

 

2) I would have some type of forward looking punishment. I have no idea what would be appropriate. Perhaps no golf for a week. Maybe he's not allowed to use a range finder at all in the next event (i.e., he can pace off the yardages). If that would be a problem perhaps he can't use the rangefinder during a couple of practice rounds (again, he can pace off yardages). A punishment that is tangible but not over the top. You would know best what punishment would best suited to send him a message.

 

Edit - I would also find some YouTube videos or news articles documenting golf honesty through history. Where a player confessed a penalty only they knew and took their punishment because it was the right thing to do. I know there was a person who called a penalty on himself at Q School that no one else would have known, and it cost him a tour card. There are many other examples like that. Let him know that's how competitive golfer behave.

 

Edit 2 - Here's two:

 

https://clubhouse.swingu.com/tour/tom-lehman-called-penalty-1990-missed-pga-tour-card-one-shot/

 

https://www.espn.com/golf/story?id=1289480

Edited June 9, 2021 by Mustard_Tiger

[Str8Putt]

5 hours ago, bcski said:

Meh, give him a talking to, let the coach now so he can have him DQ'd...  Trust me this is an everyday thing in competition with range finders.  I am in the camp of full range finders with slope should be legal in all competitions...  (I know, I know not a popular belief, don't want to derail)

I'm in the same camp about RF. Pros can do without if they want to, they already have that info and more in their books. Let the local event for non pros decide if they can use slope or not. Pretty much guaranteed others are doing it and I wouldn't count out some coaches encouraging it off the record but like you not to derail the thread.

 

It was against the rules so he should be DQ'd but probably too late for that now. Have him tell his coach and let his coach decide what the punishment should be( ie not being allowed to participate in an event or two) Take the RF with slope and replace it with one that doesn't have slope. They're cheap and removes all temptation. 

[golfandfishing]

7 hours ago, Mustard_Tiger said:

This is something that needs to be nipped in the bud. I can't believe people are saying it's no big deal and nothing needs to be done at this point. If it were my son I'd recommend two things:

 

1) Either you, he, or his coach notifies the event organizer and lets them know of the infraction. Then they can decide what to do with it. Maybe nothing, but at least you let them decide rather than saying nothing. This public exposure, and the shame that comes with it (even if they say nothing can be done), has value.

 

2) I would have some type of forward looking punishment. I have no idea what would be appropriate. Perhaps no golf for a week. Maybe he's not allowed to use a range finder at all in the next event (i.e., he can pace off the yardages). If that would be a problem perhaps he can't use the rangefinder during a couple of practice rounds (again, he can pace off yardages). A punishment that is tangible but not over the top. You would know best what punishment would best suited to send him a message.

 

Edit - I would also find some YouTube videos or news articles documenting golf honesty through history. Where a player confessed a penalty only they knew and took their punishment because it was the right thing to do. I know there was a person who called a penalty on himself at Q School that no one else would have known, and it cost him a tour card. There are many other examples like that. Let him know that's how competitive golfer behave.

 

Edit 2 - Here's two:

 

https://clubhouse.swingu.com/tour/tom-lehman-called-penalty-1990-missed-pga-tour-card-one-shot/

 

https://www.espn.com/golf/story?id=1289480

The planet weeps for the people that think it’s not a big deal. 

[Abh159]

Have him notify the tournament committee, officials, or whoever and let them decide if they want to DQ him or not. They may not do anything, but having him call himself should be humbling and downright embarrassing enough that he won't ever do that again.

 

Take away the rangefinder for a little while. Let him know that if he can't follow the rules with it then he doesn't deserve to have one at all. Let him know he has to earn back the right to use one. 

[NJBigFish22]

10 minutes ago, Abh159 said:

Have him notify the tournament committee, officials, or whoever and let them decide if they want to DQ him or not. They may not do anything, but having him call himself should be humbling and downright embarrassing enough that he won't ever do that again.

This is where I stand on this issue, plus he should notify his coach and partner in this case.  I would think that no further punishment is needed, cause his peers will probably make enough comments.

 

I have never used a rangefinder, is it specifically stated that in any competition the slope function can’t be used or is it up to each tournament to say yes or no to its use?  

 

[Blonde Line Lizard]

If you (the OP) are "beyond upset" because your boy "knew it was against the rules", perhaps golf is not the game him.  Wilfully doing something against the rules is plain garbage.  

 

As far as handling the situation, maybe a good talking to regarding rules and the importance of following them would be the best thing to do.  If by going to the coach and/or the committee, and saying outright he used the slope feature without regard for the rules, nobody will want to play with him again, and any tournament he plays in will just have added pressure to him from everyone watching his every move.

[MattyO1984]

Not a good situation to be in for you and my view is the same as calling the organisers, let them know what happened and let them decide on what happens. That said, go easy on the kid, honestly, if professional sports stars were thrown out the game every time they wilfully did something against the rules then there would be very few of them left. 

[lefthack]

1 hour ago, NJBigFish22 said:

I have never used a rangefinder, is it specifically stated that in any competition the slope function can’t be used or is it up to each tournament to say yes or no to its use?  

 

 

I just got one and haven't used it yet, but mine doesn't have slope. I don't see how you could enforce a rule like that when the majority of new ones have slope. It just seems like a HORRIBLE idea to rely on the individual. 

 

Either allow the device as us, or don't allow the device. That's like saying you can use a calculator for the test but only the even numbered keys. 🤣

[GHIN n Juice]

As the old saying goes, you learn a lot about someone by how they act on the golf course.  I’d have him DQ himself and learn that lesson early.  Honestly, his coach will probably be more impressed with his honesty that his infraction.

[8thehardway]

Talk with, rather than to him; if you want him to share your values you'll need discover what underpins his values and talk it out. You may learn he isn't honest in other things and it's now a character trait, or generalized moral disengagement in which case the issue goes beyond 'respect the game' and moves into self respect. Then, if you aren't getting through to him go ahead and impose consequences as an extension of your values and in the hope he'll reevaluate his. 

[GLF4EVR]

One that sticks with me is he was using it with full knowledge that it was on.  Wrong is wrong, no matter how he tries to justify it.

 

No range finder for a month & make sure he reports it to the coach.

[HawkFan03]

What's crazy is that my son is a huge rule follower and extremely well behaved. Always has been. Every coach he's ever had, regardless of the sport, love him and wish they had more like him.

 

If it wouldn't have been on, there's zero chance he would have turned it on. But that's not the case. Him and I were practicing the night before and had it on. I should have reminded him to turn it off that night or before the tournament but I can't hold his hand 24/7.

 

He knows he disappointed me and what he did was wrong, he feels terrible. I think in his mind, he was thinking this was more of a "fun outing" with a girl rather than an official meet. Now he knows.

 

I'm for sure going to have him tell his hs coach and get his opinion. That still won't satisfy me most likely however. I'm freaking pissed. Last night I had the official rules book out and I'm just flat out yelling out the rules to my family in the living room. lol

[tatertot]

10 hours ago, ArtMBgolf said:

Unless he won the event or finished high enough to win something, there 
is no need to bring it up to the coach/event.   
 
Just talk to your son about it.    If the rest of the team is doing it, then 
maybe the coach should know.     
 
Unless you have a lot of really steep slopes, it's not much help when it 
adds or subtracts a couple yards.      

I'm sorry ... I don't understand the reasoning behind this comment. It's not about winning something, or if the whole team is doing it, or how much help he got from cheating ... he cheated. The rules say don't do this, and he did it. We don't get to pick and choose which rules to follow. We don't get to say, "I don't like this rule, and it doesn't really hurt if I break it, so I'm going to cheat." That's not how society works.

[cwilk]

22 minutes ago, HawkFan03 said:

I'm for sure going to have him tell his hs coach and get his opinion. That still won't satisfy me most likely however. I'm freaking pissed. Last night I had the official rules book out and I'm just flat out yelling out the rules to my family in the living room. lol

 

Tell the coach and let the coach decide what to do from there.  I'd be more concerned that you are teaching him to yell when upset.  

[TheMagicStinger]

Talk to him why he did it.  Then have HIM talk to the coach. 

 

If he did it with the intent to cheat maybe you suggest ways for him to calculate the impact elevation in has relation to his club choice.  Make it educational and a lot of character and growth will come from this.

 

If he did it and had no idea or realized it after the fact.  Have him talk to the coach with that as the basis of the conversation.

Edited June 9, 2021 by TheMagicStinger