Jump to content

Obligations to your partner in a member/member or member/guest? (RANT!)


Recommended Posts

At what point would you "move on" in your golf relationship with a friend?

 

I could not be more annoyed with a buddy that I've played several tournaments at at our clubs, but I'm now at a tipping point of dropping him (which would also mean me essentially opting out of his member/guest as well). We've had good success winning our flights in the past but he's the kind of guy that always has to be center of attention - playing his music too loud, has befriended every cart girl to the point of inviting them on social outings/golf trips with guys in our league, degenerate gambler/alcoholic ("nobody is going to outdrink/outspend me!" type), etc.  - which all sounds bad, but it hasn't really affected things on the course. This weekend it ground me down.

 

So we're playing in his member/guest recently, which always starts with a practice round, evening festivities and then 8:30 tee times the following morning.  Dude rolls in on 2 hours of sleep because he lost a grand the night before at the club festivities and then decided he had to go to the casino and not get back home until the wee hours (5am) of the morning.  Needless to say, he was a complete sh!t-show on the course, picking up on probably 1/3 of the holes (in a "high breaks the tie" best ball type format) - we get buzzsawed our first 2 matches and it's game over for all intents and purposes.  

 

Have you ever had one of these "golf relationships" you've had to move on from? Or am I just being a dick?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I played with a guy that was ok most of the time, but would often go on very negative political rants. I play golf to get away from things like that, so I left the club, and joined another. We played them in a interclub, and while eating on our patio, he went on a loud profanity, racial rant. I found the language and subject very inappropriate. I am very happy to be at my new club with a lot of great guys. I haven't had a single moment of regret. If you don't enjoy playing with this guy, don't. There is only one dick in your story, and it is not you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've a friend like that.  He is "on" all of the time.  I find it's good and very entertaining for 9 holes.  Midway through the back 9, it starts to cross the line.  By the 18th, I want to get out of Dodge as quickly as possible. 

 

Solution:  Skip the 18 hole affairs.  Play 9 with him anytime he wants.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, JohnnyCashForever said:

I've a friend like that.  He is "on" all of the time.  I find it's good and very entertaining for 9 holes.  Midway through the back 9, it starts to cross the line.  By the 18th, I want to get out of Dodge as quickly as possible. 

 

Solution:  Skip the 18 hole affairs.  Play 9 with him anytime he wants.

 

Yeah, that's a good description - though even 9 hole affairs can become tiresome.  Not uncommon for him to have "lunch" (code for going to the strip club) before an evening 9-hole league and come in boozed up and completely annoying. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nah man, time to move on.  I find my time on the course to be some of my most relaxing and fun parts of my week.  I'm not about to let anyone ruin that for me.  This guy would get bumped right quick.  Think of it as a player/caddie relationship... lay it out as you'd like to "be friends" but change up the scenery for a minute.  Then, just happily move on and deal with him in friendly, smaller doses.

Taylormade Sim2 10.5  HZRDUS RDX blue 60s

Titleist 917f2 16.5  Aldila Rogue Silver 70s

Taylormade Sim Max 19  Ventus blue 7s

Titleist T100 2019  4-P AMT S300

Titleist Vokey SM6 52/12, 58/8

Taylormade Spider x navy 34.5"

 

Snell MTB 

Titleist Players 4

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, King_Slender said:

We've had good success winning our flights in the past but he's the kind of guy that always has to be center of attention - playing his music too loud, has befriended every cart girl to the point of inviting them on social outings/golf trips with guys in our league, degenerate gambler/alcoholic ("nobody is going to outdrink/outspend me!" type), etc.  - which all sounds bad, but it hasn't really affected things on the course. ...

 

Have you ever had one of these "golf relationships" you've had to move on from? Or am I just being a dick?

 

Hate to tell you this, but you are guilty of being an enabler of his raucous lifestyle. You incur both reputational and potential legal risk by continuing to associate with him.

 

By legal, a couple of points... suppose one "cart girl" is actually a cart woman who is a second-year law student who decides to sue him for sexual harassment. Do you want to be on the witness stand to describe how you watched all this go on?

 

Or, a drunken driving episode?

 

   Prosecutor: Mr KS, has Mr. Buddy been drunk before?"

   KS: Sure, I see it all the time.

 

King, you're playing with fire. Walk away, man!

 

And remember that females who work for a living are women, not girls.

What's In The Bag (Summary as of October 2020)

 

Driver:  Tour Edge EXS 10.5°, set 9.5°; weights neutral   ||  FWs:  Calla Rogue 4W + 7W

Hybrid:  Calla Big Bertha OS 4H at 22°  ||  Irons:  Tour Edge CB Pro Tungsten 4i-9i

Wedges*:  Calla MD3: 48°... MD4: 54°, 58° ||  Putter: Ping Sigma G Tyne (face-balanced) + Evnroll Gravity Grip

Ball: Calla SuperHot (Orange preferred)  ||  Bag: Sun Mountain Three 5 stand bag

For details see:  Pending (need protocol to embed file list).

     * MD4 54°/10 S-Grind replaced MD3 54°/12 W-Grind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe he was tolerable and got worse over time. 
 
In a tournament, especially a private course affair, your partner 
should not embarrass you with non-golf stuff and should have 
tried to have his game in shape.   If a partner plays badly, it happens, 
but it shouldn't be because he was out all night or didn't have time 
to play/practice for a month.   
 
He may still be ok with casual rounds, where it isn't considered a party.     

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like it is time for a golf "divorce" or at least that's what we call it at our club. It happens all the time. Like one poster said, life is too short and I'm sure you can win with other people. Let him venture out and annoy some other people until no one wants to play with him and he does some soul searching.

 

You'd be giving up playing in his tournaments but if you aren't having fun anyway, what are you really losing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you enjoy playing with him when he isn't acting like a total jack*** (if that ever happens)? If so, just tell him you don't give a crap what he does in his free time, but you take the tournaments relatively seriously and you expect the same from him.

 

If he says he isn't going to change then just let him know you aren't interested in playing with him anymore. No point in continuing to be miserable. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who need a partner for the club events. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If the tournaments are more important than your friendship, drop him like a stone. If you only have the friendship for the tournaments, drop him like a stone. If your casual golf events are not as important as the friendship, don't drop him like a stone. We're all adults here, you know if you want to move on or not. My guess is you do and you're looking for reassurance here. If that's the case, move on as you know you want to already. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I play with select people at select times knowing the dynamic. Some I don't play with anymore at all (whether slow play, drinking, or overall behavior).

 

I don't go on boozed up golf trips anymore, even though a very good friend of mine is part of that group. We still have a great friendship, but I told him I'm not interested in those trips anymore. That didn't cause any issues with our friendship, it wasn't a problem at all. He knows this and doesn't bother inviting me anymore. I went on a trip with a new group this year who was interested in golf and not drinking, and it was great.

 

If he's really a friend, you need to either explain what the issue is, or just bow out and decline the member/guest offer. If he gets p!ssed off, then he's not really a friend and you'd be better off without him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Our picks

    • 2021 Fortinet Championship - Discussion and Links
      Please put and questions or comments here
       
       
      2021 Fortinet Championship - Tuesday #1
      2021 Fortinet Championship - Tuesday #2
      2021 Fortinet Championship - Tuesday #3
      2021 Fortinet Championship - Tuesday #4
      2021 Fortinet Championship - Tuesday #5
      2021 Fortinet Championship - Tuesday #6
      2021 Fortinet Championship - Tuesday #7
      2021 Fortinet Championship - Tuesday #8
       
       
      New Ping putter - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      New Bettinardi putters & Cover - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Ping Putters - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Odyssey putters - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Cameron putter and new ball marker - 2021 Fortinet Championship
       
       
      Sneds - WITB - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Peter Uihlein - WITB - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Charles Howell, III - WITB - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Scott Piercy - WITB - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Brandan Steele - WITB - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Mito Pereira - WITB - 2021 Fortinet Championship
      Kevin Tway - WITB -2021 Fortinet Championship
      Joseph Bramlett - WITB - 2021 Fortinet Championship
       
       
       
      • 19 replies
    • 2021 Tour Championship - Discussion and Comments
      Please put any questions or comments here
       
       
       
       
      Odyssey putters - 2021 Tour Championship
      LA Golf putter shafts - 2021 Tour Championship
       
       
       
      • 25 replies
    • 2021 BMW Championship - Discussion and Links
      Put any questions of comments here
       
       
      2021 BMW Championship - Tuesday #1
      2021 BMW Championship - Tuesday #2
      2021 BMW Championship - Tuesday #3
      2021 BMW Championship - Tuesday #4
      2021 BMW Championship - Tuesday #5
      2021 BMW Championship - Tuesday #6
      2021 BMW Championship - Tuesday #7
       
       
      Cameron T-11 & T-11.5 putters at 2021 BMW Championship
      Mizuno Pro FliHi and 225 irons - 2021 BMW CHampionship
       
       
       
      • 18 replies
    • 2021 Ping i59 irons & Glide Forged wedges in hand comparison pics!!!
      In hand pics of the new 2021 Ping i59 irons and Glide Forged wedges...
       

       
      Ping i59 7 iron
       

       
       
      Ping i59 PW
       

       
      Ping i59 Comparison Photos

       

       

       

       
       
       
       
      PING Glide Forged Wedges

       
      Ping Glide Eye Toe Wedge
       
        • Thanks
        • Like
      • 100 replies
    • 2021 The Northern Trust - Discussion and Links
      Please put any questions or comments here
       
       
       
      2021 The Northern Trust - Tuesday #1
      2021 The Northern Trust - Tuesday #2
      2021 The Northern Trust - Tuesday #3
      2021 The Northern Trust - Tuesday #4
      2021 The Northern Trust - Tuesday #5
      2021 The Northern Trust - Tuesday #6
      2021 The Northern Trust - Tuesday #7
       
       
      New Cameron for JT - 2021 The Northern Trust
      New Cameron putters for Garrick Higgo - 2021 The Northern Trust
      New Odyssey putter covers - 2021 The Northern Trust
       
       
      • 6 replies

×
×
  • Create New...