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Hate Being Paired With Strangers


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Does anyone else hate being paired with strangers? Does anyone dislike this to the point they would rather not play? I’m not self conscious about the game as I’m not that terrible, typically so 2-4 cap during the year. I found recently on vacation my wife and we got paired.  I really realized I would rather just not play.  I have my typical weekend games at my club with guys I know and that’s fine, but when I play somewhere new, I just want to play alone or with people I know. I don’t want to be paired with someone new because it’s all small talk...where are you from? what do you do? are you married? It’s almost like a job interview. I’d rather just not deal. I’ve played enough golf in my life that the incremental round just isn’t worth having that experience. Anyone else just rather now play? 

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1 hour ago, Pomps said:

Does anyone else hate being paired with strangers? Does anyone dislike this to the point they would rather not play?

 

Yes I've been there. When I was a single playing the county courses in Milwaukee, I would have rather just stayed home and not played. When I got my wife into the game and we got to the point we could take golf trips (Scottsdale AZ, Naples FL), getting paired is just part of the deal. I don't like it, but it's a necessary evil. Some of the guys have been ok, some not so much. Talking about strip clubs in AZ with your wife there isn't the best conversation piece.... F'n morons....

Guys would roll their eyes when we shook hands on 1 because they were getting paired with a woman and then when she pounded it by them, we were all good. Guys can be d-bags. Hell, I've had ladies we were paired with said guys would  go into the shop and ask to be re-grouped when they find out they are playing with them. These ladies were single digit caps.....

 

But yes I get what you are saying, I've been there.

Now we belong to a club and we don't get paired, which is nice. I enjoy playing with the Mrs. and would prefer to not have the "small talk" bs.

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If I want to play a solo round, then yes, I hate that.  But if a stranger joins my twosome or threesome, then I really don't care.

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I'd probably play more, but I'm also not really into going out and getting paired with guys I don't know.  I've had some really good experiences, but the bad experiences unfortunately over shadow that.  Luckily I have 2 different groups I'm part of, I'm gonna look for a third to join next year.  

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I enjoy playing with others I have never met.  Never had a bad experience.  Have had a few "interesting" experiences, but never one that has turned me off.  I will say the courses I play solo outside of my club are generally resort or vacation style locations, which generally are not riff-raff.  (Yes I know there are exceptions to everything so lets not get off track on it).  Have not played a $10 muni in a long, long time so I have not had to get paired with a stereotypical guy wearing a tank top, blasting rock/rap, smoking weed and getting hammered off of Natty Light while driving the cart on the green and playing in 6 hours.

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10 minutes ago, david.c.w said:

  Have not played a $10 muni in a long, long time so I have not had to get paired with a stereotypical guy wearing a tank top, blasting rock/rap, smoking weed and getting hammered off of Natty Light while driving the cart on the green and playing in 6 hours.

Was that you???

 

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Im 38 and I find when I get paired up with guys my age or younger I have no fun. I love getting paired up with older guys as they seem more eager to talk and joke around. Last time i was paired up with 2 guys my age that brought there girlfriends to take pictures and videos of them while they played. 

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To an introvert, a solo round is an indescribable joy.  

I remember a recent round playing solo.   I had already finished #1 and had teed off on #2.   A guy skips #1, cuts across #2 fairway, drives his cart right up to me and asks if he can play along.

What am I supposed to say?   "No, go back and tee off on #1?"

He couldn't stop talking.   The entire round.  

I'm headed out to the golf course in a few hours.  Monday afternoon.  Maybe I'll get to play alone.  Lets hope

Edited by 1t2golf
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On 9/27/2021 at 11:21 AM, Lobby said:

To an introvert, a solo round is an indescribable joy.  

I remember a recent round playing solo.   I had already finished #1 and had teed off on #2.   A guy skips #1, cuts across #2 fairway, drives his cart right up to me and asks if he can play along.

What am I supposed to say?   "No, go back and tee off on #1?"

He couldn't stop talking.   The entire round.  

I'm headed out to the golf course in a few hours.  Monday afternoon.  Maybe I'll get to play alone.  Lets hope


"Thanks, but I'm working on some things in my swing, may play a few balls, need the time alone to focus but thanks for the offer."

 

 

Edited by 1t2golf
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I go out as a single a good amount, so it is part of the game. Where I agree with the OP is that some guys are just way, way too prying. A zillion questions. The round just turns into a goddamn interview. I just want to play golf.

 

I was out last weekend and played with a father and son. The dad spent more time talking to me than his own kid. I'm like, WTF. And, trust me, I'm least interesting guy on the planet.

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Same thing with flying. Rather stick needles in my eyes than fly economy now and cringe when the person in business sits down next to me and starts yapping on and on. Why do people think that they have to "get to know you" on a one-hour flight? They act like we're going to be buddies and have BBQ's together and yada yada yada. Please just sit there and shut up.

 

Many people have forgotten, or never learned, how to shut up.

 

I'm OK playing with strangers and OK playing alone.

 

You would never be paired with anyone you didn't know in Japan in the old days. The possibility of being uncomfortable with anyone dropped to zero.

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14 hours ago, dubbelbogey said:

I play 90% of my rounds with strangers. I'm not particularly extroverted, but I really enjoy it. The number of bad experiences I've had in decades of doing this can be counted on one or two fingers, and even those were minor.

 

I like diversity in the courses I play, and I've enjoy meeting folks from different walks of life. I play public courses only, and the mix there is pretty broad.

 

Sure, I like playing with my buds, too, but they're mostly retired and I'm not, so our golf schedules rarely overlap. 

 

I like to think I have a decent grasp of what level of conversation most folks want. If they initiate a bit of conversation, I'll join in. But I don't butt in just to make small talk, other than the first tee pleasantries. If you think asking "so, do you play here much?" is like a job interview question, I don't really know what to say.

 

What you said is exactly what I would have written. So thanks for that! The exception is that my playing buddies joined a CC rather than being retired.

 

 

 

In the last 15 years the only uncomfortable or unpleasant round I had was being paired with a twosome who clearly wanted to smoke dope (which is not legal in my state). I'm not down with that and let them know. After we played 9 I told them my back was flaring up and was going to call it a day.

Edited by Mustard_Tiger
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I would rank it - 

  • resort course/vacation/destination - everyone is probably in the same boat so its easier
  • higher-end course - I would rarely play by myself, but have definitely been paired with some odd ducks in this scenario
  • muni's - if we don't have four, then I just expect to be paired with some sort of weirdo - but hey, maybe they think I'm the weirdo?
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38 minutes ago, Abh159 said:

 

Rule #1 of flying... Wear headphones even if you aren't listening to anything.

 

It keeps people from talking to you, and if they do you can always just pretend like you don't hear them 😉.

 

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you... what did you say?

 

I used to fly back and forth to Japan for years. The flight was about 17,388 hours each way. Sometimes I would say that I didn't speak English. I used it once from Tokyo to LA. There were no other seats/reclining sleeping thing on the outside, but this woman felt the need to talk from across the aisle. I was speaking Japanese to the flight attendants, so I got away with it. When we landed in LA, I took out my phone because we were early, and I needed to let my ride know... in English, of course.

 

She burned holes through me with her laser-eyes as we waited to get off the plane.

 

 

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