Hate Being Paired With Strangers

[EddieEdwards]

I don't mind being paired up.  It's rarely a bad experience.  

[Fairway14]

On 9/26/2021 at 6:03 PM, Pomps said:

Does anyone else hate being paired with strangers? 

I've always considered playing with strangers to be one of the best parts of the game. Watching others shots and styles of play is a great way to learn golf.

[JimMLINY]

Doesn't bother me in least.  Just played in charity outing.  Was the fifth in a foursome of professionals in my line of work.  They were late. I was only one in a cart at tournament start announcements.  Recipe for disaster it seems from some posts here.

 

Scramble with best ball for tee shot and all play rest of shots picking up after double par in Callaway scoring.  Had a blast playing and chatting.  Finished the round in under four hours.  Perfectly paced ourselves with never a moments wait.

 

Played the best I have ever.  Picked up once and was putting for eagle birdie and par for most part.  They thought my handicap was bogus but I was just lights out except for the bloody three putts.

[Nels55]

I used to play as single at SJ Muni quite a lot.  I always enjoyed it and met some interesting people.  One strange occurrence was right after I started lessons when I was an 18 handicap.  I was paired up with 3 strangers and I shot 5 under par on the front nine.  I remember the guys I was playing with watching me closely on the tee like I was a pro or something.  I made a couple of bogeys on the back and then it got too dark to play anymore so I went home.  I remember thinking that it was no big deal as I was going to become a scratch player and would probably shoot scores like that all the time.  LOL I have never even shot par for 18 holes in the 30 years since that round!  Another odd thing that I remember was that one time the group in front of my group consisted of four left handers randomly paired together, seems like the odds have to be pretty stacked against that happening... 

 

As for the introvert / extrovert part of the equation I am on the introvert side of things and I sometimes have a difficult time in large gatherings but golf is pretty well structured and I know what to do and I don't mind talking with folks who like to have a conversation.  Now days getting paired with strangers happens less often but I have met few new golf buddies that way so it is all good!

Edited October 2, 2021 by Nels55
typo

[miamistomp]

 A bunch of leftys is pretty common  when the Canadians are here

 

 

[Carl Spackler3]

On an open course I love to play alone, on a course filled. I’d rather be paired up to find a rhythm and not waiting. One unmentioned thing. If you’re somehow out on the course as single on a crowded course, you get to play 1 ball like the rest of us

[Shizeman]

I play a decent amount of golf as a single which helps to get more rounds in.  I think people you're paired with follow the 80/20 rule. 80% are good people and are just looking to enjoy the day. The other 20%....well, they're everywhere in life. Just finish the round and move on.  

 

I've met some really good people just hopping on the course. 

[ChipStrokes]

1 hour ago, Carl Spackler3 said:

If you’re somehow out on the course as single on a crowded course, you get to play 1 ball like the rest of us

why?

 

today i was a single sandwiched between two foursomes. i played multiple approaches, chips, putts, and even tee shots on some holes. 

 

seemed like a better use of my time than waiting at the next tee for 10+ minutes. 

 

i moved along whenever i saw the group behind me get to the tee box. i think i only saw them on 2 or 3 holes though. 

[dbleag]

I base my preference of playing alone vs. being joined by two others (when my wife and I play) on how busy the golf course is that day.

 

I'd rather play alone if we can zoom around in 2:45-ish.  If we're going to be a twosome in a sea of foursomes, I rather join up with another twosome.

 

Honestly though, I can't remember being unhappy that I was joined by others.  Golf people are predominantly AOK.  🙂

 

[Mcgeeno]

I was the noobie member, single who didnt know anyone at my now home course back in 2011 and some guys welcomed me in as their 4th on a Wednesday mens night as I stood around hoping to find a group.

 

10 years later and I have a few really good friends and our group of 12-16 travels on a couple fun trips each summer. 

 

I think meeting some new people and playing golf with them is one of the best things around. I can count on one hand the amount of jerks I've ever played with. Luckily I only had to do it once.

Edited November 10, 2021 by Mcgeeno

[Tax77]

Depends on the day, if its a weekend I welcome company and have a few beverages. If it's a Tuesday morning before my afternoon shift, I have no interest in speaking to you.

[StudentGolfer4]

If you’re constantly having trouble with people you are paired up with on the golf course... it may be you who is the problem. 
 

Conversation usually comes easy on the golf course. Talk about golf!

 

I was paired with a gentleman who was hard of hearing a couple of years ago. He didn’t tell me that until halfway through the front nine. That was interesting lol. 

[MountainKing]

14 hours ago, StudentGolfer4 said:

If you’re constantly having trouble with people you are paired up with on the golf course... it may be you who is the problem. 

 

For sure I'm part of the issue.  I don't like small talk, especially knowing it's not ever going to progress beyond that.  I don't want to discuss the weather, my career, if I'm married, where I live ect multiple time s a week.  Stuff that's kind of required when you get paired up with folk.  I especially don't want to talk if I've been working all day and going out for an after work round.  With that said, there's guys on this site I would gladly meet and play with because I find their posts to be entertaining, so I'm not always like that.  I guess in that case however, that wouldn't be getting paired up with a rando.  

 

I have noticed in the last few years, the amount of problem pairings I've been part of has gone up a significant amount.  "Back in my day" I rarely had a bad pairing, even if I personally wasn't totally into it. 

[kmay__]

15 hours ago, StudentGolfer4 said:

If you’re constantly having trouble with people you are paired up with on the golf course... it may be you who is the problem. 
 

Conversation usually comes easy on the golf course. Talk about golf!

 

I was paired with a gentleman who was hard of hearing a couple of years ago. He didn’t tell me that until halfway through the front nine. That was interesting lol. 

 

And hear you thought he was just ignoring you! lol

[aenemated]

I quite love traveling to play bucket list courses and these trips are pretty much always outside the budget of my handful of friends who DO play - so I kinda don't have a choice if I wanna do that.

 

Fortunately, I'm a pretty awesome and mega-cool guy - so I've never had a bad experience. In fact, some of the most fun rounds I've played have been with strangers. 

 

 

[Mcgeeno]

2 hours ago, MountainKing said:

 

For sure I'm part of the issue.  I don't like small talk, especially knowing it's not ever going to progress beyond that.  I don't want to discuss the weather, my career, if I'm married, where I live ect multiple time s a week.  Stuff that's kind of required when you get paired up with folk.  I especially don't want to talk if I've been working all day and going out for an after work round.  With that said, there's guys on this site I would gladly meet and play with because I find their posts to be entertaining, so I'm not always like that.  I guess in that case however, that wouldn't be getting paired up with a rando.  

 

I have noticed in the last few years, the amount of problem pairings I've been part of has gone up a significant amount.  "Back in my day" I rarely had a bad pairing, even if I personally wasn't totally into it. 

 

I actually respect the hell out of the honesty.

 

I think this might be your baggage and that's OK.

 

I know guys who mostly play by themselves. Its less of a social game for many. It isnt why they play and there is no problem with that.

 

Only think I hope is that you aren't making these rounds with strangers awkward or bad. 90 percent of the strangers you get paired up with are gonna be great people whether you realize it or care IMO.

 

I've played with the types who didn't want to speak or small talk or interact at all. You just leave them alone and enjoy the golf. Hopefully get through an awkward 4 hours unscathed haha.

[kmay__]

Last time I was out it was busy and very slow (cheap city run muni) Young kids in front of us with their gfs so it was what it was no big deal. So we get caught up by these 2 old boys riding in a cart. So they ask if we want company, sure no big deal. Not a ton of small talk because they had pretty heavy seeming french accents, one was in his 80s and he called the other guy the young one, 70s. Man they both had solid games, the younger of the 2 blew our brains out..... had one of the best games I've ever witnessed in person. 

 

I enjoyed it cause my buddy can be pretty tempermental when the 2 of us play, and having a third or 2 more people takes the edge off bigtime haha. 

[TM4me]

Just like the Pros, I'll play with whomever I'm paired with.

Edited November 11, 2021 by TM4me

[MountainKing]

3 hours ago, Mcgeeno said:

 

I actually respect the hell out of the honesty.

 

I think this might be your baggage and that's OK.

 

I know guys who mostly play by themselves. Its less of a social game for many. It isnt why they play and there is no problem with that.

 

Only think I hope is that you aren't making these rounds with strangers awkward or bad. 90 percent of the strangers you get paired up with are gonna be great people whether you realize it or care IMO.

 

I've played with the types who didn't want to speak or small talk or interact at all. You just leave them alone and enjoy the golf. Hopefully get through an awkward 4 hours unscathed haha.

 

I do what I can to try and avoid it being awkward. I don't really want to be a jerk or ruin somebody's day.   I'm not anti social,  I just don't care for purposeless conversation for the sake of filing silence,  if that makes sense. 

 

For the most part, unless I'm dying to get a round in,  I just avoid playing if I know I'll be in a situation I don't want to be in. 

[MountainKing]

3 hours ago, TM4me said:

Just like the Pros, I'll play with whomever I'm paired with.

 

Tournament golf is up my alley,  despite that I rarely do it anymore.  You can avoid conversation in the name of focus and not look like a horrible person. 

[Imp]

On 11/11/2021 at 12:03 PM, MountainKing said:

For sure I'm part of the issue.  I don't like small talk, especially knowing it's not ever going to progress beyond that.  I don't want to discuss the weather, my career, if I'm married, where I live ect multiple time s a week. 

Sounds like me. As an introvert (INTJ), I don't like sharing personal details, and also really don't care about yours.  Don't share, don't care. However, I also understand there are people that are the opposite of me and love oversharing, and that comes with every part of life. I can empathize with them, but I won't open discussion... nor volunteer... but when eventually asked about that stuff?

Them: "Whadda ya do for work?" 
Me: "As little as possible?" 
Them: "Hahahahah, no really?"
Me: "Logistics, it's more boring than insurance, and hate talking about work when playing golf. " (Or, came here to get away from thinking about it... etc...)  I don't do cool stuff, and really, don't even want to think about it (that's a lie, I'm thinking about what I do for work a lot... I do some of my best thought work when playing for some reason, just don't really like talking about it verbally unless I'm with those I work with.)

 

Them: "Married"?

Me: "Sure, cool wife, golfs sometimes too." (3 birds with one stone)

Them: "Kids?"
Me: "Nahh, just a couple (cool) dogs, lots of nieces and nephews." 

I completely let them off the hook with a little humor, to let them know I don't really want to talk about it. That usually gets the point across.  And I never ask them about themselves, which is exactly what many extroverts thrive on. Not that I don't care that you have a life, sure... just I'm not wired like that. Even if they offer it up unprovoked, it won't get anything more than an "OK, cool, neat." What do you want? "Oh wow!" and then faun over their choices in life they've made that were completely different than mine?   W-H-Y??? *pokes needles in eyes* I don't care if you're just married, divorced, rich, poor, educated or self-taught. Can. You. Play. The. Game? 

You want to talk about golf? The course? Offer up a nice shot, good putt, tough lie, every now and then? Sure. No issue. Cart comes along, I'll even buy for you. I'm not a jerk, I'm just NOT wired to talk about stuff I have no knowledge/care about, and those details, that I personally consider, private stuff?  There's only a couple things that will get me talking a little more... WRC/Rally, dogs, cars, and maybe some scotch/whisky/bourbon talk. But again, it's not like I'm going to come out and say "here are the things I find interesting and if we can just talk about those...." like Sheldon Cooper. 😉

I can make a good joke every now and then. and sarcasm is my primary language, but... I just don't do the whole small talk thing either. 

Now... when my wife plays? she fields the questions. 😉 I'm even like this with family functions. Incessant chatter to fill the void... nooooope. Also been uninvited from many functions because "I'm not very personable". Yeah. I get it. Again, I care about you as a person, but I don't care about your lifes choices enough to talk about all your decisions. 

I've met and played with some popular people too... they didn't think I knew who they were until after the round parting ways.. and a couple even mentioned it that they loved the round because they DIDN'T have to talk about "work". 

Edited November 12, 2021 by Imp

[MountainKing]

4 hours ago, Imp said:

Sounds like me. As an introvert (INTJ), I don't like sharing personal details, and also really don't care about yours.  Don't share, don't care. However, I also understand there are people that are the opposite of me and love oversharing, and that comes with every part of life. I can empathize with them, but I won't open discussion... nor volunteer... but when eventually asked about that stuff?

Them: "Whadda ya do for work?" 
Me: "As little as possible?" 
Them: "Hahahahah, no really?"
Me: "Logistics, it's more boring than insurance, and hate talking about work when playing golf. " (Or, came here to get away from thinking about it... etc...)  I don't do cool stuff, and really, don't even want to think about it (that's a lie, I'm thinking about what I do for work a lot... I do some of my best thought work when playing for some reason, just don't really like talking about it verbally unless I'm with those I work with.)

 

Them: "Married"?

Me: "Sure, cool wife, golfs sometimes too." (3 birds with one stone)

Them: "Kids?"
Me: "Nahh, just a couple (cool) dogs, lots of nieces and nephews." 

I completely let them off the hook with a little humor, to let them know I don't really want to talk about it. That usually gets the point across.  And I never ask them about themselves, which is exactly what many extroverts thrive on. Not that I don't care that you have a life, sure... just I'm not wired like that. Even if they offer it up unprovoked, it won't get anything more than an "OK, cool, neat." What do you want? "Oh wow!" and then faun over their choices in life they've made that were completely different than mine?   W-H-Y??? *pokes needles in eyes* I don't care if you're just married, divorced, rich, poor, educated or self-taught. Can. You. Play. The. Game? 

You want to talk about golf? The course? Offer up a nice shot, good putt, tough lie, every now and then? Sure. No issue. Cart comes along, I'll even buy for you. I'm not a jerk, I'm just NOT wired to talk about stuff I have no knowledge/care about, and those details, that I personally consider, private stuff?  There's only a couple things that will get me talking a little more... WRC/Rally, dogs, cars, and maybe some scotch/whisky/bourbon talk. But again, it's not like I'm going to come out and say "here are the things I find interesting and if we can just talk about those...." like Sheldon Cooper. 😉

I can make a good joke every now and then. and sarcasm is my primary language, but... I just don't do the whole small talk thing either. 

Now... when my wife plays? she fields the questions. 😉 I'm even like this with family functions. Incessant chatter to fill the void... nooooope. Also been uninvited from many functions because "I'm not very personable". Yeah. I get it. Again, I care about you as a person, but I don't care about your lifes choices enough to talk about all your decisions. 

I've met and played with some popular people too... they didn't think I knew who they were until after the round parting ways.. and a couple even mentioned it that they loved the round because they DIDN'T have to talk about "work". 

 

I'd play with you anyday.  I'm not really an introvert, I'll gladly talk to anybody, but it has to be about something worthwhile (to me), and interesting.  Not something that just puts noise into the air for the sake of filling it. I'm comfortable with silence, I don't think a lot of people are. 

[bobfoster]

Anyone that plays golf is not a stranger (to me), they are simply a friend who's name I don't yet know.

[Shankyouverymuch]

On 11/11/2021 at 2:08 PM, aenemated said:

Fortunately, I'm a pretty awesome and mega-cool guy - so I've never had a bad experience. In fact, some of the most fun rounds I've played have been with strangers. 

 

 

Got to make sure your typing is good - I have had fun playing around with strangers is much different than playing a round with strangers 😂

[aenemated]

1 hour ago, Shankyouverymuch said:

Got to make sure your typing is good - I have had fun playing around with strangers is much different than playing a round with strangers 😂

 

Oh, done plenty of that too 😂

[SteelieD]

As someone said previously, for an introvert, a solo round with my headphones in is pure heaven. I’ve played some of my best golf that way. 
 

In reality, as a Muni player, those opportunities don’t come along too often. I do get a little jumpy about being paired up but 9 times out of 10, it ends up being very enjoyable. Even better if I’m playing well! 😉 

[ConnorPGA]

I feel this attitude is at the core of the many problems that plague the sport we all love. For me, playing with strangers is one of my favorite things about the game of golf. Don't get me wrong, I resonate with the desire to not have to play w/ new people but at the same time there is nothing else like it in sports. I enjoy the opportunity/ challenge to win over a complete stranger (knowing very well after our round of golf together the odds I will ever see this person again is almost zero). I often think about their impression of me after the fact knowing they were initially dreading being paired up with a rando. Adapting/ tailoring my personality to click with any and all demographics is an applicable life skill that I developed through golf.  

[ConnorPGA]

Just now, ConnorPGA said:

I feel this attitude is at the core of the many problems that plague the sport we all love. For me, playing with strangers is one of my favorite things about the game of golf. Don't get me wrong, I resonate with the desire to not have to play w/ new people but at the same time there is nothing else like it in sports. I enjoy the opportunity/ challenge to win over a complete stranger (knowing very well after our round of golf together the odds I will ever see this person again is almost zero). I often think about their impression of me after the fact knowing they were initially dreading being paired up with a rando. Adapting/ tailoring my personality to click with any and all demographics is an applicable life skill that I developed through golf.  

I would like to follow up by saying I too am naturally introverted but have found that this is not the case when surrounded by golfers (stranger or not).

[ConnorPGA]

On 11/11/2021 at 10:03 AM, MountainKing said:

 

For sure I'm part of the issue.  I don't like small talk, especially knowing it's not ever going to progress beyond that.  I don't want to discuss the weather, my career, if I'm married, where I live ect multiple time s a week.  Stuff that's kind of required when you get paired up with folk.  I especially don't want to talk if I've been working all day and going out for an after work round.  With that said, there's guys on this site I would gladly meet and play with because I find their posts to be entertaining, so I'm not always like that.  I guess in that case however, that wouldn't be getting paired up with a rando.  

 

I have noticed in the last few years, the amount of problem pairings I've been part of has gone up a significant amount.  "Back in my day" I rarely had a bad pairing, even if I personally wasn't totally into it. 

I agree with you whole-heatedly. Small talk is the bane of my existence. You don't actually care and neither do I. I have found that most people want to talk about themselves and feel heard. Just ask them questions and listen accordingly.

[deadsolid...shank]

2 hours ago, ConnorPGA said:

I agree with you whole-heatedly. Small talk is the bane of my existence. You don't actually care and neither do I. I have found that most people want to talk about themselves and feel heard. Just ask them questions and listen accordingly.

Hey Connor, completely off topic, but do you work at one of the Fort Collins courses?