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Pressure to hit up on group ahead?


Clubhoe
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Bit of a vent here, but when Ive had to wait on the group ahead to finish on the green, I've had several remarks over time (and twice today), hinting that I should hit.

 

Today 2 older guys, who I haven't played with before said "its over 200 meters" and the other said a couple of holes later "your 220 into the wind". And not in a helping yardage way.

 

It happens a lot I've noticed. Why would I take the risk, if its within my reach?

Maybe I haven't showed much that day, but who are they to question that?

I've gotten to the point where I won't play with older guys for the first time.

 

Anybody feel uncomfortable waiting with the judging eyes? And how do you respond?

 

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"I probably won't, but I know I CAN reach them.

 

And nobody likes to be on the putting green and see or hear a ball landing within 20 yards or so. Too close for comfort"

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1 hour ago, nsxguy said:

"I probably won't, but I know I CAN reach them.

 

And nobody likes to be on the putting green and see or hear a ball landing within 20 yards or so. Too close for comfort"

Totally agree with the bolded statement.  It's about respecting the players in front of you.

The people that are telling you to play are also likely tailgaters on the roads!

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I have, on more than one occasion over the years, seen someone get hit with a golf ball. Have narrowly missed the experience myself. Saw one guy get hit in the cheekbone - gushing blood, ball barely missed his eye, an ambulance-on-the-golf-course level of seriousness. Golf balls are small, hard, and capable of causing extremely serious injuries.

 

I'd never permit myself to be pressured. If there is even the remotest of chances I might reach a foursome in front of me, I wait. I am all for keeping a round moving. Do not like slow play. But at the end of the day, pace-of-play comes in a far distant second to the safety of other golfers on the course. If you have even the slightest bit of nervousness about whether you might come close, just don't hit. Don't be that guy. 

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You can tell them the distance to the front of the green, which is usually some 20 metres less and a 180-metre shot sounds very different. You might also point out that any time you save now would mean an equally longer wait on the next tee. Thirdly, another player in the group, who lies 40 metres closer to the hole, is going to wait for the green to clear anyway, so you hitting right away might only save half a minute. Fourthly, you can suggest the others could go ahead and play their shots first if they're not going for the green.

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I’ve written here about experiences like this many times . I had one guy do it three times during a state am qualifier this year.  I hit 2 of those greens in 2.  Guy was an a******.  On the 3rd time I let  him get to me ( my own mental mistake ) and I laid  up to a lob wedge. Nearly stuffed that and missed  the putt.    it royally peeved me off.  I was only 225 out.  This was on the 12th hole.    Next par 5  He started to speak up again  and I just turned and gave him the stare of death.  He shut up mid sentence.  Never spoke to me again.  
 

if there is any chance of hitting someone.  Wait.  If you hit anyone. Let it be the idiot trying to get you to go. 

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6 hours ago, CaseyC said:

Put some money on the shot....

 

i like this answer, next time ask the guy you're playing with "what do u think my chance of hitting in two is?" if he says something like "1 in 100" just say OK i'll give you $5 if i miss and u give me $500 if i hit the green, DEAL??" and if they accept just say you're still waiting for the green to clear in order to complete the bet...regardless if you hit or miss i think they'll leave u alone after that

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Like others have said something in the order of "Not likely to get there - but no point risking it." defuses the situation typically.

 

I find more experienced groups multi-task in these situations. They might go ahead and look for a ball or just walk up to the area of their ball (and then make sure they are in a safe spot before the person waiting for the green to clear hits)

Edited by 2bGood
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57 minutes ago, miamistomp said:

 The only ones I have fought the urge to hit into are the azzhatz who park their carts in front of the green and have to walk back towards the fairway

Yep, and even if they happen to park next to the green it takes them 5 minutes to clean their club off and put in the bag and then they sit in the cart for 10 minutes figuring their scores and then writing them on there horrid little scorecard!

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20 minutes ago, EddieEdwards said:

I've had guys suggest I should hit into the group ahead because I could reach them and they were slow.  My response " You ever been hit or hit someone? It's not good."

Yikes!  I guess over the years I have probably seen somebody try to hit into the slow group in front...  One time when I was a kid I saw some guys from work tee balls up and try to hit them onto a nearby freeway.  I should have stopped them I guess but they were older and a lot bigger and drunker.  

 

Anyway it is always better to be safe then sorry and I never worry about somebody wanting to wait to hit their shot even if it seems impossible to reach the folks in front.  Don't care and don't want to be responsible for someone getting hurt.

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What's the worst feeling in golf?  Hitting someone you shouldn't of been able to hit.

 

That's what I say when pressed to go ahead and hit.  Speaking from personal experience it's happened to me (I hit someone with a golf ball that I shouldn't of been able to hit).

 

There is no way I'm hitting into a group even if they are a little out of my normal range.  From time to time I get a hold of a ball and it flies farther than I'm expecting, same as any other golfer.

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The worst is the guys that wait for the green to clear from 225 and then when the guys in front are 10 paces off the green they fire away with a 3 wood

 

you’re a 12 cap and never pulled a fairway wood 25 yards ???  Gtfoh 

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This topic has loads of good points why you should wait when boarder line.  
 
Just trickling on the green will be upsetting, even though it would not hurt anyone.   
 
I can't remember this "you can hit" being an issue to me.   
 
If you have been playing badly, but know you can reach with a solid hit, then wait.    

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23 hours ago, jordan2240 said:

I'm an older guy (61), but have also experienced that.  I usually just respond with something like "I know I'm not likely to reach them, but why chance it when we'll just be waiting on the next tee anyway.". Of course, then I usually mess up the shot because I know I'm being glared at.  Just the way it goes sometime.

Sorry, I didn't mean to single out older guys. It was just that I've noticed the playing partners that want you to hit are usually the guys around 70.

I don't know whether its because they don't hit the ball very far any more, and see that distance as unreachable to everybody. Or they've lost a little patience. Not sure.

Yes I'll be saying this type of thing next time. 

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6 hours ago, Clubhoe said:

Sorry, I didn't mean to single out older guys. It was just that I've noticed the playing partners that want you to hit are usually the guys around 70.

I don't know whether its because they don't hit the ball very far any more, and see that distance as unreachable to everybody. Or they've lost a little patience. Not sure.

Yes I'll be saying this type of thing next time. 

No offense taken. Sorry if I came across that way.  I play with some guys in their 70s and one in his 90s, and early on, they would wonder why I wasn't hitting.  It was basically because they didn't hit as far, so they figured I couldn't reach either.  Of course, maybe they just figure they don't have as long to live, so they want to get in the next shot while they can.

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On 11/26/2021 at 3:18 AM, Clubhoe said:

Sorry, I didn't mean to single out older guys. It was just that I've noticed the playing partners that want you to hit are usually the guys around 70.

I don't know whether its because they don't hit the ball very far any more, and see that distance as unreachable to everybody. Or they've lost a little patience. Not sure.

Yes I'll be saying this type of thing next time. 

 

That's exactly it.  Since they don't hit it far, no one else does either.  They've gotten into a routine where no one hits it much further than anyone else.  So, what are you waiting for?  

 

Same people that think you shouldn't play the back tees even though they've never seen you hit a ball. 

 

I forget the name of the phenomenon, but basically people tend to ascribe their own attributes to others.  Ie., since they believe they would never abuse a position of power, they don't believe anyone else would.  If they never play with anyone of a different level of ability, they can easily lose sight of the fact those levels exist.

 

(Obviously this doesn't apply to every single older person.  And plenty of "younger" guys have the same.  But the "go ahead, you can't reach them" tends to come from a particular group.)  

 

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I'm an older guy. (if 61 counts as older)..

If am playing with someone I don't know why would I question you waiting when I don't really know your game. I expect you to know your game. If you are waiting even though you may have not shown me much yet it's on you to make the call. 

 

In my regular group, guys I've been playing with for yrs. we all may at times say go ahead and hit, you are clear or what are you waiting on? In this case we know each other's games. It is still up to the person to hit or wait.

 

Just the other week I was waiting for the green to clear and my buddy said what are you waiting for? It's been 10 yrs. since you have been able to hit that green from here. I waited and snuck one up to the fringe of the green. I said wow what has it been? Like ten yrs since I made a shot like that on this hole from here. We all laughed and played on. 

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4 hours ago, golfortennis said:

 

That's exactly it.  Since they don't hit it far, no one else does either.  They've gotten into a routine where no one hits it much further than anyone else.  So, what are you waiting for?  

 

Same people that think you shouldn't play the back tees even though they've never seen you hit a ball. 

 

I forget the name of the phenomenon, but basically people tend to ascribe their own attributes to others.  Ie., since they believe they would never abuse a position of power, they don't believe anyone else would.  If they never play with anyone of a different level of ability, they can easily lose sight of the fact those levels exist.

 

(Obviously this doesn't apply to every single older person.  And plenty of "younger" guys have the same.  But the "go ahead, you can't reach them" tends to come from a particular group.)  

 

The name of the phenomenon is "projection". And the older you get, the less inclined you are to do so.

 

However, I'm 64, and have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Have been playing since I was eight years old, and couldn't even remotely begin to count the number of people I've played with over the years - people with vastly different abilities and distances. Do you actually believe that after over five decades of experiences on golf courses, I'd somehow think "since my average drive is 240, everybody else's is too"? That I believe my club distances must naturally be everyone else's club distances? Seriously?

 

In my experience, personally, older golfers usually tend to be slightly more polite. For one thing, when I started (1960s) there were a lot fewer golfers, and when you first started, learning etiquette was considered as much a part of learning as the swing was. Etiquette has definitely gone somewhat downhill over the years. The thought of playing with a younger guy that wants to wait because he thinks he might reach the foursome in front of us - and then telling him to go ahead hit anyway because I don't think he can reach them? I simply can't even conceive of thinking like that. 

 

Biggest factor, however (to generalize a bit) is patience. Age does give you a spine that isn't quite as flexible, and distances that are shorter, but also delivers patience. I was incredibly impatient in my 20s and 30s. Slow golf irritated me to levels that almost raised my blood pressure. Am a lot more relaxed these days. So are most of the older men and women I play with. Don't think I've ever seen a 60 or 70 year old hit when they thought they might reach the next group, nor encourage anyone else to. Its usually young, aggressive bucks, older naturally narcissistic people, or drunken golfers (of any age), that does that. 

 

The norm, IMO, is not only not projection, it is the opposite. I have a good friend I often play with that is a bomber - I average a 240 drive, he's probably 280 or 290, and when he really nuts the ball center face can easily go 300+ (I usually still beat him, because that 300 years is often 225 out, and 75 right hahahaha). It is not at all uncommon for him to say "you can go, I should probably wait". 

 

Fortunately, despite the decline in etiquette, common courtesy is, I believe, still the norm the vast majority of the time. Very few golfers are arrogant and rude enough to hit into the group in front of them. But I'm not certain if who those few are can really be lumped into an age group - the differentiator is not years, it is largely attitude. 

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1 hour ago, bobfoster said:

The name of the phenomenon is "projection". And the older you get, the less inclined you are to do so.

 

However, I'm 64, and have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Have been playing since I was eight years old, and couldn't even remotely begin to count the number of people I've played with over the years - people with vastly different abilities and distances. Do you actually believe that after over five decades of experiences on golf courses, I'd somehow think "since my average drive is 240, everybody else's is too"? That I believe my club distances must naturally be everyone else's club distances? Seriously?

 

In my experience, personally, older golfers usually tend to be slightly more polite. For one thing, when I started (1960s) there were a lot fewer golfers, and when you first started, learning etiquette was considered as much a part of learning as the swing was. Etiquette has definitely gone somewhat downhill over the years. The thought of playing with a younger guy that wants to wait because he thinks he might reach the foursome in front of us - and then telling him to go ahead hit anyway because I don't think he can reach them? I simply can't even conceive of thinking like that. 

 

Biggest factor, however (to generalize a bit) is patience. Age does give you a spine that isn't quite as flexible, and distances that are shorter, but also delivers patience. I was incredibly impatient in my 20s and 30s. Slow golf irritated me to levels that almost raised my blood pressure. Am a lot more relaxed these days. So are most of the older men and women I play with. Don't think I've ever seen a 60 or 70 year old hit when they thought they might reach the next group, nor encourage anyone else to. Its usually young, aggressive bucks, older naturally narcissistic people, or drunken golfers (of any age), that does that. 

 

The norm, IMO, is not only not projection, it is the opposite. I have a good friend I often play with that is a bomber - I average a 240 drive, he's probably 280 or 290, and when he really nuts the ball center face can easily go 300+ (I usually still beat him, because that 300 years is often 225 out, and 75 right hahahaha). It is not at all uncommon for him to say "you can go, I should probably wait". 

 

Fortunately, despite the decline in etiquette, common courtesy is, I believe, still the norm the vast majority of the time. Very few golfers are arrogant and rude enough to hit into the group in front of them. But I'm not certain if who those few are can really be lumped into an age group - the differentiator is not years, it is largely attitude. 

 

There are a few things at play here.  1)wrx'ers are both typically much more knowledgeable about golf and things that come along with it, and they are also a very tiny percentage of the population.  2)You know the guy you are playing with.  3)Go back to #1.  You may not assume no one plays longer than you, but just like music on the course being played loudly, if it didn't happen, we wouldn't be talking about it.  

 

I'm not saying the older golfers are impolite(like you they tend to be moreso than average), but they do tend to think a distance is unreachable when in fact it is.

 

And I've never had someone under the age of 65 tell me to go ahead and fire when I see a maintenance crew, since they have hard hats.  I'd never hit without a crew person at least acknowledging they know I'm there.  But yet, I've had guys tell me to fire away.

 

YMMV, as it appears it does.  But it does happen, and I've not had it happen from younger folks.

 

 

 

 

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On 11/25/2021 at 4:49 AM, Clubhoe said:

Bit of a vent here, but when Ive had to wait on the group ahead to finish on the green, I've had several remarks over time (and twice today), hinting that I should hit.

 

Today 2 older guys, who I haven't played with before said "its over 200 meters" and the other said a couple of holes later "your 220 into the wind". And not in a helping yardage way.

 

It happens a lot I've noticed. Why would I take the risk, if its within my reach?

Maybe I haven't showed much that day, but who are they to question that?

I've gotten to the point where I won't play with older guys for the first time.

 

Anybody feel uncomfortable waiting with the judging eyes? And how do you respond?

 

Disregard. 

Edited by StudentGolfer4
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