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Dealing with the frequent temper tantrum guy???


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We all get frustrated at times golfing, it's part of the game. And I get the occasional foul word or two after a bad shot. But what do you do or say with the guy that blows up nearly every third time he plays. And by blow up I mean an outburst of the most foul language and clubs go flying and then you can't even talk to him for like 2 holes afterwards, which makes it awkward for all.  To make it worse his effort on the course goes to zero after the outburst so playing any kind of side game let alone a team game is totally out and if we do the guy who is his partner is totally screwed!  
What do you do or say to guys like this???

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Golf time is too precious to be annoyed at all. I would allow this once, explain it’s unenjoyable and inappropriate ,but I’m  gone at the second time seeing this 

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3 hours ago, Mcgeeno said:

You wont  be able to fix him. He can only fix himself.

 

Coming from being :::that guy::: years ago it took some crazy life experiences and perspective to change my ways.

 

I always think about how I was with shame but I am proud of the golfer/personality I have become now. 

We've all been there and I used to be super emotional and hot headed on the course but you are right life tends to put things in perspective over time...you hope. My job takes me away from golf for 9 months out of the year and so I have learned to really enjoy the game during good or bad times as it can always be worse for sure.  

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One of my best golf buddies is like that.  A couple of years ago another friend and I told him we would play practice rounds as much as we can but we'd no longer play Saturday competitions with him.  Especially because he starts playing like filling in the time and it's terribly awkward for the rest of the foursome.  I'm not being judgemental because I too have a temper but there are several lines I don't cross out of respect for the other players.  But in my buddy's case he took it ok and we are all best friends.  Hard to change that type of golfer via talking and explaining.  

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Dear Jimmy,

 

We love you buddy but your temper and behaviour on the course ruins everyone’s day.  It’s not all about you, it’s a group of guys for 4 hours together

 

This is the last warning or we can’t let you play with us anymore .. seriously bud, you are ruining golf for all of us.   Very self cantered.  Think hard on what we are telling you

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At my club, there are a couple of large-ish groups that I can play in, they typically reserve two to four tee times each weekend day.  Occasionally, someone will misbehave badly enough that he's  no longer invited to play with one (or both) of those groups.  The guy usually gets one warning, then he's simply out, no more invitations.  If he does get invited back after a while, the fuse is REALLY short.

  

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28 minutes ago, rainkingjr said:

Soloman1, that pretty much sums up how a bunch of folks would evaluate the situation nowadays. Not all, but a lot of society has things twisted. 

 

Well, now you've triggered me with this abusive language of "twisted."

 

I don't feel like I'm in a safe space.

 

I need to speak with someone in HR...

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18 hours ago, K5thbeatle said:

We all get frustrated at times golfing, it's part of the game. And I get the occasional foul word or two after a bad shot. But what do you do or say with the guy that blows up nearly every third time he plays. And by blow up I mean an outburst of the most foul language and clubs go flying and then you can't even talk to him for like 2 holes afterwards, which makes it awkward for all.  To make it worse his effort on the course goes to zero after the outburst so playing any kind of side game let alone a team game is totally out and if we do the guy who is his partner is totally screwed!  
What do you do or say to guys like this???

The last time I was exposed to similar behavior was playing with a 15yr friend that happen to be our Club champion the year before.  He has some outbursts but not at all frequent, so I overlooked them.  We were playing different tough course this time, and his game was off starting with double bogie on a Par 5.  Each hole his outbursts grew more intrusive.  It was as if he'd lost something inside.  The 3rd hole I told him to get a grip.  But he couldn't, his loud outbursts persisted, throwing clubs ranting and raving.  The two guys playing with us were clearly annoyed by him too.  When we hit the 9th hole, I finished up, and looked him in the eye and told he was an embarrassment.  I won't play golf with anyone like that, and haven't played with him since. 

 

I won't tolerate adolescent tantrums from anyone, I don't care who does it.

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19 hours ago, K5thbeatle said:

We all get frustrated at times golfing, it's part of the game. And I get the occasional foul word or two after a bad shot. But what do you do or say with the guy that blows up nearly every third time he plays. And by blow up I mean an outburst of the most foul language and clubs go flying and then you can't even talk to him for like 2 holes afterwards, which makes it awkward for all.  To make it worse his effort on the course goes to zero after the outburst so playing any kind of side game let alone a team game is totally out and if we do the guy who is his partner is totally screwed!  
What do you do or say to guys like this???

 

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Just use your phone to record tantrum and post it to you tube, 

 

It will make the tantrum player, 

Either a star, or a laughing stock of viral posts.

 

If tantrums are that frequent, then there should be lots of content. And  if there is enough content, could make a little bit of coin with it.

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11 hours ago, Soloman1 said:

You should allow him ruin everyone's day at will.

 

Don't offend him or make him feel badly about his childish tantrums on the course. Be respectful to him.

 

Apologize to him. It's probably your fault anyway, and he's been polite to not tell you that it's your fault.

 

Gather around him when he goes off on a tantrum and offer your support. 

 

Join him at some counseling sessions to accept your part in this behavior.

 

Buy his lunch, dinner, beers, tell him how honored you are to be able to play with him. Offer to pay for his golf.

 

Don't be mean and insensitive to his emotions.

 

And when he starts throwing clubs or pounding them in the ground, you can relate to his frustration by breaking his clubs over your knee or tossing them in the pond.  He'll really appreciate your empathy. 🤣 

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While you're settling up on the bet(s) over a cool one at the 19th hole just matter-of-factly tell him this is your one and done. Another outburst to this degree has you off the card. It seems we have a lot of guys these days who don't want to have this conversation with anyone. I can tell you from experience if handled correctly, you can get the message across where he understands (without a doubt) the repercussions of bad behavior without being Stewart Smalley or a tool. You just have to stand your ground.

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The answer to better golf is hit it better, farther, and make more putts.

 

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17 hours ago, TomRUtah said:

And when he starts throwing clubs or pounding them in the ground, you can relate to his frustration by breaking his clubs over your knee or tossing them in the pond.  He'll really appreciate your empathy. 🤣 

I like to go pick them up and throw them back at him!


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On 11/29/2021 at 1:15 PM, Soloman1 said:

You should allow him ruin everyone's day at will.

 

Don't offend him or make him feel badly about his childish tantrums on the course. Be respectful to him.

 

Apologize to him. It's probably your fault anyway, and he's been polite to not tell you that it's your fault.

 

Gather around him when he goes off on a tantrum and offer your support. 

 

Join him at some counseling sessions to accept your part in this behavior.

 

Buy his lunch, dinner, beers, tell him how honored you are to be able to play with him. Offer to pay for his golf.

 

Don't be mean and insensitive to his emotions.

 

You are a sensitive man.

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10 hours ago, oikos1 said:

I don't know, I usually don't mind a player with this mentality in a match.  I can remain far enough away and it's somewhat amusing and more often than not, beneficial.

 

Love playing against these guys in tournaments. All I have to do is coast along and watch them beat themselves 🤣

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I feel like a lot of these responses are internet responses and you'd never really talk to a friend like that.

 

If hes a friend just tell him it's really annoying when he gets so mad, and it pretty much ruins the round for everyone....just tell him to chill a bit.

 

If he's not a friend just stop playing with him

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I don't mind it. Not a big talker when I'm playing so this gives me an excuse to just focus on my game and not feel obligated to interact. If it is really bad, I'll just never golf with that person again after. Nothing has to be said, just finish the round and ask yourself if it's worth it to play with that person again. Guys don't usually change, so it will happen again even if you have a "discussion" with them about their behavior.

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Not sure why this is so hard. No reason to escalate things with wise-a** comments. Just tell him after the round that look, golf is hard, but the anger and outbursts are over the top. Folks aren’t going to want to play with you any more if you don’t chill. 

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