It's 2050. What's Different at the Masters?

[JohnnyCashForever]

1. After enduring a winning score of -30 in 2048, ANGC buys Augusta Country Club in 2049.  Soon after, ANGC president Arch Manning announces that the Masters will be played on a composite layout comprised of holes from both courses.

2. Since no one wears a sport coat anymore much less owns one, the green jacket is replaced by the green hoodie.

3. Adam Scott, Tiger Woods, and Phil Mickelson are the ceremonial tournament starters.

4. ANGC raises the price of the pimento cheese sandwich to $1.75 (or 0.000001 bitcoin).

[elwhippy]

Most of the field are of Asian or Asian American descent. The course is now 9000 yards. Gary Player will still be a starter. Fans will have their mini drone to follow the play and have no need to attend in person. 

[MattyO1984]

Bryson DeChambeau - now known as #BionicBrysonBroughtToYouBySaudiCrypto, fresh off a second brain transplant this time courtesy of Huwaei caused by his original Microsoft replacement short circuiting, proclaims the course as now being a Par 54 due to his prodigious length however, he is disqualified as a result of his insistence that he will only hit shots when the solar winds, which have really come into play now that the planet is a molten hot box, dies down. 

 

Tiger tees it up as a Ceremonial Starter alongside Gary Player who pokes fun at TW for his paunch and follicle challenges. Steve Williams, back on the bag for Tiger, throws Player into Rae’s Creek however GP is saved by new Augusta member Elon Musk who is anxious to find out how Player has managed to balance annoying everyone with an ability to live for ever. The secret is in the August water. Musk and Player spend the afternoon drinking without realising that in his latter years, Dustin Johnson used the Creek for some relief. Both Player and Musk are subsequently banned for testing positive for recreation drugs. The whole situation is made even more distasteful when Gary Players son appears in a t-shirt proclaiming Florida peaches as better than those from Georgia. He is banned for life for the 5th time.

 

Meanwhile, Sergio and Patrick Reed are asked not to attend the Champions Dinner after taking up residence in John Daly’s old spot at Hooters in a bout of celebrity boxing. The would be pugilists end up disgraced as Justine Reed intervenes on behalf of Patrick by removing the top rope which sends Sergio flying out the ring and landing on his shoulder. The result is him now having a literal as well as a figurative chip thereon.

 

Prior to the event, the toonament committee advise they are building a new bridge for Phil Mickelson in front of the pond on 15. Problem is that it is not completed, as in honour of Phil, they just keep digging and digging.

 

Jordan Spieth enters the week as favourite. Rory McIlroy wins the Par 3 and proclaims himself the a Grand Slam winner. Jim Nantz no longer has any friends and simply introduces the program by saying hello.

 

Looking forward to it! 

Edited August 8, 2022 by MattyO1984

[mat562]

Not the cream-coloured push-button telephones that look like they came from the set of Dallas, that's for sure.

[Short Pete]

Tiger Woods, Vijay Singh and Gary Player are honorary starters. Gary does 20 pushups before teeing off. 93-year old Bernhard Langer misses the cut by one. Tony Finau's 6.5" son wins with a half swing that sends the ball 380 yards. Will Zalatoris finishes 2nd for the 12th time. 

[jholz]

I'd give 20/1 that:

 

1. Those playing will be trying to get a small ball into a small hole utilizing tools very ill designed for such a purpose. 

 

2. The player that utilizes the least strokes to get that ball into the hole will win. 

 

3. Those who win will most likely consider it a significant accomplishment.

 

Long odds bet...

 

The world apocalypse will make the Master's tournament utterly irrelevant. We will be lucky to be playing golf at all. 

 

 

[third-times-a-charm]

A 100' great wall has been constructed around the property and local politicians have been bribed with stock picks to enact a no fly zone for all manned and unmanned aircraft. All spectators must sign legally binding agreements to follow the preset walking paths and not speak during their time on the grounds or else they are subject to a 5 year sentence  in the also newly constructed jail beneath one of those old creek bridges.

[ebrasmus21]

38” drivers. 

[Hawkeye77]

Every hole has become a par 3. 

[iNeedMoreGolf]

All players are robots. Tiger woods is the only half human half robot player. He had his bad body parts replaced with new robot ones with nike logo imprinted on them. He wins every year. Every tourney. We are all microchipped barely get paid or fed and dont even get to watch the masters on tv. Yes thats right... he is playing tournaments no one even gets to watch lol jim nantz is not half robot. They just paint him to look like the tin man. Liv golf went out in 2023 when phil mickelson duck hooked a drive into the saudi owner killing him. He was put in saudi prison because it was found out that he is actually and american secret agent spy. 

[smashdn]

There is an epiphany amongst the membership and the MacKenzie bunkers make a come back.  The look is more rugged but yet still incredibly manicured at the same time. 

 

There is a "Masters Ball" in play.

 

^Sorry, those are not near as far-fetched as what other posters have come up with. 

[wildcatden]

After winning the last 17 Masters in a row, Charlie Woods attempts to win his 18th and tie Jack for all time Majors wins.

[inertiamonster]

No one lives in Augusta anymore, the whole town is now ANGC property.

[SkiSchoolPro]

The tournament has been moved to March to better coincide with when the azaleas are in full bloom.

 

None of the pros live in Florida anymore due to the hot weather, high wind/flood insurance premiums and sea wall construction surtax levied on carbon emissions.

 

All members of ANGC were those that agreed quickly to settle multiple lawsuits brought by low carbon emitting countries as those that chose to fight ended up being bankrupted by having to pay trillions of dollars in actual damages.

 

The purse is paid in the Philanthropic Eco currency that replaced the $USD as the world's dominant currency when US inflation went parabolic.

 

 

 

 

 

[kmay__]

Well it likely wont be called The Masters by then........also all men's sports will have been outlawed anyways due to their toxic nature. 😆

[gvogel]

The players use hickory shafts, real wood heads in their "woods", and irons without score lines.  The "plain and simple form" rule is enforced for putters.  The balls are molded from gutta percha.  The players are so good that they score under par anyway, and everyone recognizes what a great tournament the Masters has become.

 

The USGA decides to adopt the same rules for their championships.

[golfandfishing]

I love that Gary Player and Bernhard Langer are still in the conversation. 
 

 

[Krt22]

2 hours ago, inertiamonster said:

No one lives in Augusta anymore, the whole town is now ANGC property.

Except for the thacker house. The Discovery Channel starts a series called "The Last Augustans", which highlights the trials and tribulations of normal folks living their lives in the middle of opulence and greed. It is rumored ANGC plans to lobby congress to have the entire property deemed a national monument, hoping that gives them leverage to expel the long time hold outs. 

[Str8Putt]

A housing Sub division called Augusta Estates with streets in it called Magnolia Lane 

[Chunkitgood]

In 30 years the course will be covered with obsolete solar panels which would cost more to remove that the value of the land.

 

Just like the rest of the southern US.

 

The match will be played by Skynet, The Singularity (TM), and the transcendent ego of Greg Norman, which has been transmitted into the Van Allen belts (the only containers of sufficient size).  Norman will have the lead after 17 holes, but a sudden burst of cosmic radiation with upset his approach shot, leaving the victory to The Singularity (TM) which will immediately open a worm hole on the 18th and win by an infinite number of strokes in an infinite number of universes.

 

The videofeel (vf) audience numbers are pretty low, since the match goes up against the opening weekend in the pickle ball season.

[MtlJeff]

Augusta in 1992 still pretty much resembles how golf looks today just guys hit it further , they still dress like dorks just a different style of dork.

 

so barring some cataclysmic world event (hey , fingers crossed on that one!)....i'm gonna say players will hit it slightly further, the course will probably be 8000yds and guys will dress like dorks but in a different style.

 

I agree on Tiger and Phil as being involved in the ceremonies in some way.

[BrianMcG]

LOL. Thats pretty funny. 

Edited August 9, 2022 by BrianMcG

[CasualLie]

The tournament is shortened to 54 holes, shotgun start, and the winner gets $250 million plus a red state of their choice.  However, winning comes with a lot of media appearances, so it might be better to finish last and collect $100 million.

[TreyWingbat]

Hole locations move on the fly as the player hits their approach to the green.

[baitdragger]

Folks will still be bitching they didn’t win tickets in the lottery for the 28th+ years in a row.

[TheNutman]

Freddy Couples still racking up top 10's...

[i*windows]

much of the planet will be inhabitable, golf will not be important.

[Valtiel]

In a very misguided attempt to finally get a green jacket, a moderately intoxicated grey-haired McIlroy is arrested attempting to break in to Butler Cabin.

[KennyP]

The traditional piece of crystal, for an eagle, is replaced by a bag of crystal meth 🤪

[LukeDonaldsTiger]

ANGC has been relocated to Augusta, Manitoba, due to the climate change. 
 

A 9i is at 27° loft now and Titleist has released the SM 37 set (8 wedges). 
Callaway releases the new Big Bertha woods line (11th iteration).